#*losing it*

Like stabs of phantom pain from where his countless makeshift reality bombs imploded and the splinters dug into him when he holds out his hand (wrist scarred) as a show of power only to flinch because he held his hand in the exact position that he held out the detonation button to bernice. Or when he looks in the mirror in his study that once showed the future showed is now tainted with splatters of blood and brain and he looks down and see his lifeless body and a bullet hole in the back of his head, his younger self staring dumbfounded and Bernice with a smoking gun in her hand. Himself dying ten thousand different deaths in ten thousand different ways just to figure out a way to make sure history does not splinter like his bombs that they (Bernice and Peter and the collection and himself) still have a future. Do you think brax ever looks at the uncarved fountain and sees the corpses of doggles and bev drowned in their own blood with the full knowledge that he did this his hands will never be clean they are alive now but what is done cannot be undone and there’s the cat and he dragged it in front of Bernice and killed it stepped on its head the blue crayon man standing over the red crayon cat but it’s all in his head he wants the the future so bad but it’s caked in blood so much blood his own and his friends’ and he killed so many more across infinity out damned spot but it’s all in his head the mirror only showed his own reflection and no one else’s now he IS the future and his plans are all in HIS head. Pandora may have the past and the present but he makes sure a safe future will come to place in his own hands whatever the means even if there will be blood he crawled out of gallifrey dellah axis history machine and he will survive the future he had to

ohgodohgodohgod