#*hush

        The only reason she needed the library tonight was because of how quiet it was compared to her dorm currently.  She had one final exam to study for, which wasn’t for another two days, but she didn’t want to be cramming the night before.  She wanted to go to bed feeling well rested and prepared.  But knowing her, she’d be cramming, stressed she wasn’t going to pass.

        As Y/N entered the library her gaze turned towards the librarian’s desk.  He barely looked up from his astronomy textbook as she took a seat at a large group of desks.  Setting the box on the table as she unloaded her laptop and books from her bag.

        Y/N looked towards him, the librarian, as he scanned a few books for a customer.  Making small talk as he entered the card number in the system.

        He always looked so soft, wearing a slightly larger grey hoodie with a NASA symbol on the breast, his hair usually a mess from running his hands through it constantly.  Circles under his eyes making him look perpetually exhausted, which wasn’t a shock to any college kid.  Sleep was scarce around exam season.  Hell, it was scarce any season.  Y/N should know, the bags under her eyes were constant.

        The second she opened the box of pizza she’d caught the librarian’s attention.  He was in her space science class, but she’d never learnt his name.  He kept mostly to himself, except for when he dominated their professors questions, whereas almost every one else struggled.  He was effortlessly smart, and she’d admired him from afar for the longest time.  Noticing how some days he’d come to class wide awake and alert, but more often than not, he looked as exhausted as the rest of them.

        His fascination with space was incomparable to anyone Y/N had ever met.  His vast knowledge of the cosmos was intriguing.  Endearing.  It made no sense to her that she never saw him with anyone around campus, no bros, no girls.  It was always just him, with his nose buried in a new space book each time.

        Y/N typed with one hand as she ate, her eyes skimming her books for anything that she knew she needed to elaborate on with a further explanation.  Her hand grew tired of typing quickly and she sighed, wiggling her fingers and taking a break from staring at the screen of her laptop.  The bright white occasionally hurting her eyes, this time no different.

        She yawned as she shut the pizza box, unable to finish the last few slices.  Casting her gaze towards the librarian who’d gotten up from his desk and wandered towards a section of books, placing the ones from his arms back into their rightful places.

        Y/N looked at the clock hanging on the wall and groaned, it was almost eleven, which was when the library closed.  She rubbed my hands over my face to wake herself up a bit and started packing her things back into her bag.  She hadn’t thought it was that late when she’d first arrived, but clearly time had gotten away from her.  Taking one too many ‘breaks’ to admire the cute librarian as he spoke in a hushed whisper to himself.

        Scribbling out a little note on a scrap of paper before placing the half eaten pizza on his desk, the note sitting atop it.  Telling him he could’ve asked her earlier for a slice if he was as hungry as he looked, and leaving her name and number on the off chance he wanted to use it some time.

+++

        After Y/N left the library she had turned her phone off, too scared to learn whether or not he’d sent her a message at all.  She had a sudden burst in confidence, yet couldn’t even handle learning the truth; if he was interested in her or not.  No matter how hard a pill rejection is to swallow, no one wanted to learn that the person they’re interested in doesn’t share those same feelings.  It’s hard.

        At least that’s what Y/N kept telling herself.

        The day of her exam she turned her phone back on to see if he’d sent anything.  Clearing the notifications from a couple of apps, her breath catching in her throat when she realised there was a missed call from an unsaved number and a voicemail that’d been left.  She checked the voicemail first, holding her phone to my ear.

        “Uhh, hey, Y/N.  It’s Chris, uhh, the librarian you left your pizza for.  I’m just, thank you so much, honesty, I’ve been studying my ass off for finals and keep forgetting to eat.  So thank you.  You didn’t have to, but I’m glad you did.”

        Y/N smiled at the recorded message, finding Chris’ rambling adorable.  And his voice, god, his voice was like heaven.  She never wanted the rambling to stop.

        “I’m c-calling from the library’s phone because, well, long story short, I-I dropped mine in a puddle and someone d-drove over it.  And I don’t know w-why I told you that!  It’s not relevant, shit.  I’m s-sorry.  Um, I was just k-kinda hoping that m-maybe, on the off chance that you d-don’t already have plans this F-Friday, if you’d like to j-join me for dinner?  I, uhh,–” he couched to clear his throat, a nervous laugh sounded in the earpiece.  “I’ll be at t-the library all day T-Thursday if you wanna g-give m...”

        The dial tone sounded, letting her know that the message had been cut short since he’d exceeded the time limit.  But luckily he’d left another message which started off with a small nervous laugh.

        “I’m s-sorry, the last message was s-supposed to say I’ll be a-at the l-library all day Thursday if you w-want to give me a c-call or s-stop by.  I m-mean, if y-you don’t that’s...l’life, I guess.  I m-mean, I h-hope you do, b-but no p-pressure.  I – J-Jesus, you’re r-really nailing this w-whole thing, B-Beck.  Real s-smooth.  If I s-see you, I see you, a-and if I-I don’t, w-well, I’m sorry for w-wasting your t-time.  Good n-night, Y/N.  T-Thank you again for t-the pizza.”

        She saved the messages to her phone, unable to bring myself to delete them.  Spending ten minutes replying to a few texts before grabbing everything she needed and heading to her exam, a plan in her head to catch up with Chris at the library afterwards.

+++

        Y/N spent a total of two hours and thirty seven minutes in the exam, making sure she’d answered everything to the best of my ability before handing my paper in and making her trek across campus to the library.  SHe was nervous, to say the least.  Her hands sweaty as she gripped the straps of her backpack.  Blowing out a shaky breath as the building came into her line of sight.

        Campus was dead.  There were only two more days of exams and then it was Christmas/New Year break.  A few lights were strung up around the courtyard as she walked down the alley between two buildings.  The library was one of the only places still open, housing a few students sipping coffees from the shop next door as they tried their hardest to absorb any information they needed to prepare themselves for their exam.

        It was weird feeling like she’d done well in my exam.  Like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders the second she passed through those doors.  But it could have also been because she was going to see Chris at the library and confirm their date for tomorrow night.

        Y/N was excited.  Exams were over and she potentially had a date with the guy she’d been crushing on for months.  And it was Christmas in a little under a week.  Even though she wasn’t going home for the holiday there were a bunch of students in the dorms staying back and were planning their own Christmas shindig.  They had a tree put up and decorated on the 8th floor.  Y/N was making one of her favourite desserts.

        Hannah, on the third floor, had a friend who’d been buying them alcohol to stock up on since the shops would all be closed and the majority of our plans consisted of drinking.  Once they’d opened presents, of course.  They’re not totally uncivilised.

        Y/N unwrapped her scarf from her neck as she entered the library, automatically engulfed by a wall of warmth.  She walked towards Chris at his desk.  He was currently serving a customer but looked towards her when he noticed someone was standing to the side.  A grin forming on his lips as he went back to serving the customer.

        She didn’t mind waiting.  Watching him bumble around, stammering over his words as he kept sneaking a look in her direction.  The guy walked off with his books, leaving the pair alone to talk.

        “H-hey.  Uhh, hey,” Chris greeted nervously, walking out from behind the desk.  Rubbing the back of his neck as he walked towards her.

        “Hi,” she replied, breathing out a smile.  “I guess I should properly introduce myself, huh?  I’m Y/N.”

        Y/N held her hand towards him and he smiled down at it as he grasped it with his own.  “I’m Chris.”  He looked up at her with the most mesmerising smile, his blue/grey eyes catching the light from above.

        “So, tomorrow night…”

        “I was h-hoping I could c-cook for you,” he said, rubbing his arm.  “I’m a p-pretty good cook, and I-I’m kind of too b-broke to take you a-anywhere nice right n-now.”

         Y/N laughed, appreciating his honesty.  “A home cooked meal sounds lovely,” she assured him with a smile.  “Did you want me to bring anything?”

        He shook his head.  “Just yourself.”  He reached toward his desk for a pen and a piece of paper, quickly scribbling down his address before handing the paper to her.  “Does s-six-thirty suit?”

        “Perfect,” she replied, folding the paper and tucking it into her pocket for safe keeping.  “I’ll see you tomorrow at six-thirty, Chris.  Have a good night.”

        “You too, Y/N,” he farewelled, cheeks tinged with warmth and a smile on his lips.  “See-see ya tomorrow.”

        She gave him a slightly awkward wave before turning around and leaving the library, taking a peek over her shoulder to look back at him.  Still smiling after her.  Raising his hand in a wave before she braved the cold weather outside.  Wrapping her scarf around her neck and disappearing out the door.

+++

        Y/N stood in the middle of the room dressed in only her underwear, hands on her hips as she looked at the selection of clothes laid out.  A pair of jeans and a woollen jumper.  A cute dress and some stockings, with a lovely warm coat.  Her pyjamas.

        A chill ran up her spine, making her reach for the jeans even though she desperately wanted to put her pj’s back on and go to bed.  She wiggled the denim up her legs, doing a little hop, step and jump to bring the material over the curve of her ass.  Huffing as she finally managed to pop the button through the hole and tug the zipper up.  Grabbing a singlet to wear under a long sleeved shirt before putting a jumper on.

        Her bed looked extremely inviting, piled with a thick duvet and deliciously soft, warm blankets.  Still unmade from earlier today when she’d finally decided to crawl out of the warm nest and venture to Bobbie’s, since she’d agreed to buy her a nice bottle of wine for her date tonight.

        She was nervous for her date with Chris, but was also extremely excited.  It’d been awhile since she’d last been on a date, the last few having gone awry.  But those guys weren’t awkward, stuttering Chris Beck.  They were the over-confident, bordering on cocky assholes that assumed after a date she’d be willing to fuck them as a thank you.  The first couple of dates had been average, as well as the sex, so eventually she just stopped going on dates.

        She didn’t need a half-assed attempt at conversation when they both knew what direction the date was heading in, and more importantly, she didn’t deserve to be left high and dry after they came and left her to take care of herself.  College guys are the worst.  But she got the feeling that Chris wasn’t like that.  Even though he planned on cooking her dinner at his place, it didn’t feel like an attempt to get her into his bed.  she was excited to see how the shy, quiet guy treated a girl compared to the arrogant jerks she was used to seeing.

        Y/N spent a small amount of time on her makeup, since she’d already applied it this morning.  Just touching up a few areas here and there.  Not wanting to overdo it, but still wanting to look nice.

        She blew out a breath as she packed her makeup away and stuffed her feet into a pair of boots, sitting on the end of her bed as she laced them up.  Taking a minute to gather er nerves as she looked at the alarm clock sitting on the bedside table, the glowing red numbers reading 18:04, letting her know she had less than half an hour to get to Chris’ place, and that her Uber should be here any minute.

        Rising to her feet, Y/N shrugged into my jacket and tucked the bottle of wine into her purse.  Her phone buzzing with a text from the Uber driver, letting her know he was outside, so hastily making her way down.  Locking her dorm behind me.

        The ride to Chris’ place took just over 20 minutes, Y/N’s leg bouncing with nerves the whole way.  Rubbing her sweaty palms against her thighs.  Thanking the driver as she climbed out of the car and walked up to the house, knocking on the door thrice.

        She exhaled heavily, a smile coming easily to her face as soon as Chris opened the door.  A bright smile on his own face.

        “H-Hey, come in,” he greeted, stepping aside so she could come in out of the cold, already shrugging out of her coat.

        “I know you said not to bring anything but I couldn’t show up empty handed,” Y/N said, hanging her coat up and pulling the wine from her purse, handing it over to him.  “The finest wine eight dollars can buy.”

        Chris chuckled as he closed the door.  “Then l-let’s open it.  S-Shall we?”

        Y/N was already on her second glass when Chris finally served dinner, the delicious smell of a homemade roast chicken with all the fixings filling the little space.

        The house itself was cozy.  He lived with three other guys who were all home with their families for the holidays, but it was kept nice and tidy.  She suspected because it was just him there at the moment.

        They sat at the dining table to eat, a candle was lit between them, their glasses full of wine.  A warmth to Chris’ cheeks from the alcohol, or from Y/N’s flirting.  Perhaps both.  Asking each other why they were still here instead of with their families.  Her reason being that she couldn’t afford it, and his being that it was easier being apart for the holidays.  Family is messy.  That didn’t mean it was an easy decision for him to stay away.  The hurt she saw on his face told her there was more to the story, but that he wasn’t ready to share it.

        Dinner had been amazing, to the point that after they finished eating they stayed at the table drinking.  Their faces lit up with the flickering light of the candle dancing over our skin.

        He was beautiful.  The way he spoke, wise beyond his years.  Voice smooth, the alcohol ridding him of his stuttering, but slurring his speech.  The corners of his eyes crinkling with each laugh, his hand covering his mouth as he giggled.

        God, she was in deep, and it was only the first date.

+++

        Y/N ended up inviting Chris to the halls for Christmas, telling him a bunch of them had plans to eat and drink and celebrate together because they couldn’t be with their families.  He’d agreed to think about it, but when she’d swung by the library to see him on the 23rd he’d told her he’d be there.

        It’d been a couple of Christmases that he’d spent the holiday alone, and now that an opportunity presented itself where he didn’t have to be, he’d be stupid not to go at least for a couple of hours.  That was what he’d told her when she’d happily embraced him, anyway.

        And now it was Christmas day and Y/N was waiting in the lobby of the building to let Chris in.  He’d said he’d be there around ten, and it had just gone five past.  She was starting to get a little fidgety when he knocked on the glass door.  She stood up to open it for him, my mood changing from upset to happy upon seeing his face.

        “S-Sorry I’m a little l-late,” he apologised, shrugging out of his jacket.  “It’s i-icy and I k-kept s-slippin’ over.”

        Y/N laughed and shook her head.  “I’m sorry for laughing,” she replied.  “I’m glad you made it here in one piece, though.”

        “So am I.”  He smiled.

        “C’mon.  The party’s already started.”

        SHe took his hand in hers and led him towards the elevators, his gloved fingers slipping between her own as the doors opened and they stepped inside.  She hit the button for the eighth floor and held her key to the sensor, and only then did the elevator work.  Taking them up to the eighth.

        “Thank-thank you for i-inviting me again,” he said softly.

        “Thank you for agreeing to come,” she told him, smiling up at him and giving his hand a squeeze.

       The party was in full swing when the elevator doors opened.  They had to wait for a couple of guys racing on swivel chairs in the hallway to roll past before they could exit.

        “You can chuck your stuff in my room to keep it safe if ya want,” I offered and he nodded, letting her drag him around the hallway until they reached her room.  Using her keys to unlock the door and then pushing it open, letting him walk in first.

        He sat his bag on the desk and hung his coat up on the rack, unwrapping his scarf from his neck.  “I h-hope ya d-don’t mind,” he said as she leant against the doorframe.  “B-But I bought u-us a b-bottle of that w-wine.”

        “I don’t mind at all,” Y/N said as he handed the bottle to her, smiling at him as she grabbed two plastic glasses from her desk drawer and set them on the desk.  Opening the bottle and pouring themselves a glass each.  Ignoring the chaos out in the hallway, handing one of the glasses to him.  “To the finest wine eight dollars can buy.”

        His hand came up to cup her jaw, thumb brushing over her cheek lightly as he stared at er.  Gaze flickering from her eyes to her lips and back to her eyes.

        “And to n-not being alone on C-Christmas,” he added softly.

        “And to not being alone on Christmas,” she repeated, clinking her glass with his and having a sip as he did the same.

        “Can-can I…” he stuttered, looking back down at her lips as he shuffled closer.

        “Kiss me, Chris,” she whispered.

        He dipped his head and pressed his lips to hers, no trace of hesitation in his actions.  Kissing her with certainty.  Lips firm against her own at first, softening when she kissed him back almost instantly.  Tasting like the wine they’d just drank.

        Only detaching when Brooke waltzed in and announced it was time for presents.  She was gone as soon as she arrived, moving onto the next room.

        “I, uhh...”  Chris downed his drink.  “I’m not c-expectin’ anything in r-return, but I wanted to g-give you some-somethin’.”  He reached into his bag and pulled out a tupperware container.  “I m-made you some cookies.  F-Family recipe.  I-I hope you l-like ‘em.”

        Y/N rose to her tiptoes and pressed another kiss to his lips as she graciously accepted the container from him.  “Thank you, Chris,” she replied, smiling as she set the container and her wine on the desk.  Opening one of her clothing drawers and pulling out a hoodie she’d seen at an op shop.  “I haven’t seen you wearing this design so I wasn’t sure if you’ve got it or not.”

        He took the hoodie from her and his eyes lit up when he unfolded it, a large grin spreading across his face.  Reaching for the back of the current sweatshirt he was wearing and pulling it over his head so he could put it on.

        “I wasn’t sure about the size…”

        He shook his head after pulling it over his head, sliding his arms through it.  Wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her off the ground, a laugh escaping her lips before he silenced her with a kiss.

        “It’s great–it’s the greatest g-gift anyone has ever g-given me,” he confessed.  “Thank you, Y/N.  S-So much.”

        Y/N laughed and shook her head.  “You’re welcome,” she told him.  “Merry Christmas, Chris.”

        “M-Merry Christmas, Y/N,” he said back, the most joyous expression on his face.

        “You wanna go and watch everyone else open presents or stay here and make out a little bit?”  She asked him, her hands running through his hair.

         Heat rose to his cheeks as he coughed.  “Uhh, m-make out a little b-bit,” he replied honestly.

+++

        With the holiday’s over and done with, a mistletoe kiss and a New Years Eve kiss crossed off her bucket list, college classes had officially started back up.  Chris and Y/N had made things official before they welcomed in the New Year together, and they’d been on several dates since he first cooked her dinner.

        She’d met his roommates, mostly because she spent a lot of her free time at his place.  They seemed nice enough – typical guy behaviour trying to piss Chris off by hitting on her.  Though he knew she only had eyes for him.

        He’d met her roommate, who’d badgered him with question after question since she’d given her no warning that she now had a boyfriend.  So she’d returned back from break to find him asleep in Y/N’s bed.  No funny business had been happening.  They’d just been sleeping after a long first day back of classes.

        Her flight had been delayed time and time again, which was why she had no idea when she was coming back; because she didn’t know herself until she was boarding her flight.

        It was fine.  She was cool with it.  And she was happy that Y/N’d finally met a guy who treated her the way she deserved.

        Y/N was too.  He was so good to her.  And she always made sure to look after him, too.  When he let her.

        It was Tuesday today and he still had his shift at the library to complete before he’d go home.  She knew he never took anything to eat with him – knowledge she’d gained from past experience, – so after making her own dinner, she took a container full of lasagne to the library for him.

        It was still warm when she got there, sneaking up behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist, tucking myself under his arm.

        “Hi-hi, beautiful,” he greeted with a soft chuckle.  “I d-didn’t think I’d get t-to see you today.”

        Y/N hummed as she leant up to press a kiss to his cheek.  “Brought you dinner,” she told him.  “Because I know you never bring anything to work.”

        “Thank you,” he told her, kissing her forehead as he took the container from her hand.  “Lasagne?”

        Y/N hummed, producing a fork from her pocket and placing it on top of the container.  “Yeah.  I hope you enjoy.”

        “Can’t stay?”

        “Afraid not,” she replied.  “Got a lot of reading to catch up on that I was supposed to do over the holiday but I got a little sidetracked.”

        “It’s that b-boyfriend of yours, I t-tell ya,” he said, nuzzling his nose into her hair.  “He’s a b-bad influence.”

        Y/N laughed.  Loud.  “He’s lucky I love him.”

        “He–you, what?”

        “I love you.”

        And she did.  He was the kind of guy you knew from the moment you met him that you’d fall in love with him.  All the blushing looks and nervous laughter, piled in with how much of a genuinely nice guy he was...it was a no brainer.  She’d happily fallen in love with him.