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info: yoon jeonghan/reader, pg, post-breakup au
genre: angst | word ct: 1k
warnings: none
summary: when it comes to a broken heart, sometimes even the best memories are better left forgotten.
Itâs just a dinner. You found yourself telling your reflection. Itâs just a couple of hours, I can handle that.
Usually you didnât need to give yourself a pep talk to get out the door, but that day was different. That day was going to be difficult to say the least. It was the first family event youâd been to since youâsince he broke up with you. Since he took your heart in his hand and crushed it. What made it even worse, was that your family loved him, he was the life of the party, kind and considerate. They were hoping you would marry him. And, well, as much as you shared their sentiments, he evidently had different plans for his life.
âI canât do this anymore, Iâm sorry.â
Those were the exact words out of his mouth, and youâre pretty sure theyâll haunt you for the rest of your life. But, you had to move on. Your life couldnât come to a complete halt because of one heartbreak. Even if it made it hard for you to get up in the morning. So you sucked it up, you put on your big girl pants and went to that dinner with your chin held high. When in actuality you really wish youâd stayed home.
You werenât even two steps in the door when you were bombarded with questions. Howâs work? Howâs school going? Did you get that promotion? Is that a tattoo? The list went on and on and on. Obviously they didnât ask questions about him, that would be too brash, but the way they were pointedly asking about everything else made it painfully clear. They all wanted to ask, just didnât have the balls to. Somehow that was worse.
So you answered their questions with a smile, told them what they wanted to hear, you built that wall up three months ago and youâd be damned if you let them break through. Once they exhausted their false interest in your personal life, you headed over to the bar to grab yourself a much needed drink. Braving the rest of the evening was far less daunting with a bit of liquid courage coursing through you.
As it got closer to a socially acceptable time where you could make your escape, you thought you were in the clear. Even your nosey mother didnât go prying into what happened with him, something you deeply appreciated. For all intents and purposes, you were off the hook. Of course, youâve never been that lucky, that wouldâve been far too easy.
âAunty?â You heard a very familiar voice call up to you.
âHani!â You exclaimed when you looked down to see your most favorite niece in the whole world. âWhere have you been hiding?â
She stuck her thumb in her mouth and pointed at her brothers. âI was playing with Daesun and Daeyong. They got new dinosaurs.â
âWhoa!â You said enthusiastically. âNew dinosaurs! Thatâs amazing! I wish I had new dinosaurs.â
âMm.â She hummed, her wide eyes looking up at you expectantly. âWhereâs Jeonghan?â
Gone.
Not even meaning to, you suddenly remembered him packing his bags, you remembered begging him to stay. You desperately wanted to talk, to figure it all out, but he made it clear that he only wanted to leave. He didnât love you anymore. Forcing him to keep dating someone he wasnât interested in was torture.
âJeonghan,â You said, choking on each syllable, âplease, please, donât do this. Letâs sit down, letâs talk about thisââ
âWhy?â He practically spat. âItâs over, nothing you say is going to change that.â
His cold tone stopped you in your tracks. âWhyâwhy are you acting like this? Likeâlike you donât care...â
âMaybe I donât.â He returned vehemently. âEver think of that?â
One thing you were grateful of, was that his words didnât leave any room to question. Youâve broken up with a handful of other guys, but you always cushioned the blow, broke their hearts instead of shattering them. Maybe Jeonghan learned from your mistakes, because you didnât doubt him at all. It was over in an instant. It was over and you were painfully alone.
You plastered a forced smile on your face as you kneeled down beside her. âHeâs not living with me anymore, Iâm sorry Hani.â
âWhy not?â Hani asked innocently.
Please donât. âWeâre not together anymore.â
âBut you love him.â She persisted, her words cutting deep.
âWhy are you acting like this? Like you donât care?â
âMaybe I donât. Ever think of that?â
Fighting back tears, you nodded. âThatâs right. I do.â
She cocked her head in confusion. âThen why?â
Feeling your resolve break, you offered her a sad smile as you stroked her hair. âBecause, love isnât always enough.â
Before you had an emotional breakdown in front of the entire family, you ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind you. For months youâd been telling myself that you were fine, that if he didnât want to be with you anymore then you would let him go. Youâd let him be happy. He didnât love you and that was okay. You were okay. Those were lies, all lies, and as you dropped to the floor, your body shaking, you sobbed harder than you ever had before.
Why? You asked yourself for the hundredth time. Why did he leave? We were happy, we were going to start a life together. He told me that he loved me, was itâwas it all a lie?
Wrapping your arms around your knees, you tried your hardest to bury yourself in your regret. You thought you were okay. I was okay. As your vision started to get blurry, you could only think of all the times you were happy together. You were happy for three years, you were perfect for three years.
Wiping at your persistent tears, you pulled out your phone. Opening Instagram, you immediately let out a quiet laugh. You hadnât changed your profile picture yet, you couldnât bring yourself to. It was a picture of the gigantic Kumamon plushie he won for you at the fair standing upright beside you, making you look comically small in comparison.
Hesitantly, you scrolled through your account, a sad smile creasing your face as you remembered the memories behind the pictures. The two of you were happy, that much was clear. The three years you spent together wasnât a lie. His brilliant smile was the brightest part of your life. You had laughed together about everything, shared a love of music, a desire to create a life together, it was hard to think that it was all over in one evening. How he said only a few words to you and left forever.
I miss him. You finally admitted to yourself. I miss him so much.
Tears still rolling down your cheeks, you couldnât help but smile. Even though he left, even though you werenât sure if youâd ever see him again, you still had a piece of him that he left with you. And it wasnât on your phone. It wasnât the pictures, it wasnât the posts on facebook or the late night talks on Kakao, it was the memories. Because, no matter how often you tried to convince yourself otherwise, you were in love, and you were happy. And that would never leave you.
Would you like to delete your account?
You hesitated only slightly, your finger hovering over your phone. With one last look at the physical proof of your happiness with Jeonghan and your life together, you made your decision.
on today's episode of little premonition, i dreamt yesterday about leaving my house door unlocked and today i caught myself just in time because i was leaving my car unlocked
yes hello Iâm alive đ just too busy to read fics these days AND to look for them too so my very few recs are probably gonna be mainstream...... so sorry to anyone looking for less known fics đ
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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