#*dorcas

Lily had been more absent than she intended. It had just sort of...happened. Between the JWL and Potions Club and Dueling Club and Prefecting and– (there was always an “and” wasn’t there? That was the problem.) In the midst of all her “ands”, she had started off the year seeing Dorcas far less often than she would have liked. If it hadn’t been for MMAC, they would hardly have a chance to spend time together. Yet even that was a missed opportunity, Dorcas hadn’t shown up to last week’s meeting. Lily assumed her absence had been a case of a last minute cram session, 

It was a stark contrast from a summer spent with only a crumbling plaster bedroom wall between them. It had been nagging at her, each missed connection a reminder of how out of step they were. 

They had plenty of catching up to do, but Lily wasn’t worried anymore that the distance between her and Dorcas would become chasmic. With renewed determination to prioritize her friend and a secret weapon stowed away, redemption was on their horizon.

She had carved out time to loiter outside of Dorcas’ classroom, poised to catch her as soon as the lecture let out. Lily straightened as the door to the classroom swung open, students streaming out. She caught sight of Dorcas and grinned, pulling her off to the side and out of the way of foot traffic. 

“So,” she said grandly, without preface, “Do you want to tell me you love me after I show you want I have in my bag or before?” Lily paused, gave it a moment’s thought and decided to add, “Or you can tell me before and after.”

Lily cursed under her breath as the wheel of Finn’s pram became wedged between two cobblestones again. A stone castle was wonderful for aesthetics, but miserable for trying to push her baby around in a transfigured soup tureen. 

With a grunt, she tried to yank it free, statistics about shaken baby syndrome present in the forefront of her mind. She didn’t want to knock her nonexistent upper body strength, but the damned thing just wouldn’t come free. After several tugs, a disgruntled whine came from the bundle of blankets. 

“Nonononono,” Lily muttered frantically, hurrying to the side of the pram, “It’s all fine. You’re alright. Mummy’s here, just–” 

A student hurrying by knocked into her, jostling the pram and triggering a disastrous domino effect. Finn’s whine turned to a distressed shriek, Lily’s books spilled from the undercarriage of the pram and the witch herself contemplated a tasteful mid-afternoon breakdown. “Shit,” Lily dropped to her knees, gathering her things as quickly as she could. “Just leave it I’ll—” she paused to look up and the stress that lined her face softened marginally. “Oh, Dorcas.”

She said as much out loud, voice distant as if it was happening to someone else. “I think I’m going to fail this exam.” The paper of her textbook between her fingers was unsubstantial, just like her thoughts. She couldn’t concentrate. Usually studying with Dorcas meant she was trying to focus her friend on the task at hand, but she had just spent at least the past hour staring at the words in front of her without absorbing a single spit of knowledge.

The end of term loomed and she still hasn’t come to a decision about her internship. Her actions suggested otherwise, she had scoured the bulletin board in the Gryffindor Common Room and applied to any and all listings, but she still hadn’t decided. Not really. She was going through the motions of moving forward without coming to terms with what that actually meant and truly committing. “Maybe we should just throw up our hands and run away together somewhere,” Dodging responsibility and conflict sounded gloriously appealing.