─ SELF KNOWLEDGE QUESTIONNAIRE
tenderness.
you are not afraid of the sufferings and sorrows of other people, even when they are acted out in unappealing ways. beneath even defensiveness and self-righteous behavior, you know that deep down people need nurturing and consolation. one danger is being naive about people’s dark sides. but at your best you know you can be mean yourself, which helps you to sympathize. you bring strength and forgiveness where other people might panic.
neediness.
being affirmed and nurtured by others is a central requirement for you to feel safe. this means you can be slow to warm up to other people, which is difficult because what you most need from them is their warmth. yet you know how to be vulnerable: to let down your defenses and accept that you need another person. this lack of pretense is a valuable trait, and ultimately more endearing than the macho efforts others make to deny their childlike sides.
independence.
you don’t set out to be different for its own sake; you are more easily guided by what interests and moves you. you are more concerned about what is right for you than about the pressure to fit in. in sex you are more aware than others of impulses which are not entirely conventional. you know the value of selective irresponsibility, of forgetting occasionally about being ‘good’.
mysanthropy.
you have seen the darker side of human nature, even in daily life. when you look beneath the surface everyone is pretty messed up; there’s more selfishness circulating that others admit. you are never surprised by the stupidity of others, even though it annoys you. your streak of misanthropy is, in fact, a requirement of remaining sane. you’ve wisely come to terms with your need to sometimes confidently reject people.
defensiveness.
one tendency in you – which is of course normal to the human race – is to bristle when criticised, and to defend yourself when you feel under threat from aggression or blame. defensiveness can make you conceal your less honourable motives, from others, and from yourself. the habits once made sense: they all derive from past efforts to protect yourself. and most of the time – because we don’t get much help in loving ourselves – you still need them to feel secure.
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