#*carrie

I give Negan a shy smile as I pull him by the front of his shirt into my bedroom. He grins in response, his eyes dark. Something about the way he gazes at me the entire time causes my entire body to feel hot and needy for him. Only him. 

He closes the door behind him and locks it. He looks around the room for a fragment of a moment before his eyes are locked back onto me, the candle I left burning making their normally hazel color seem like dark pits. His tongue lightly traces over his bottom teeth as those dark pits look over me. “I had been thinkin’ I would have to drag you into a bedroom sweetheart, goddamn don’t you have some surprises up your sleeves.” I chuckle softly, leaning against his chest, my hands knotting into his grey t-shirt.

I shiver when one of his hands brush under my shirt along the curve of my spine. I lean into the other hand now cupping my cheek. “Well, I’ve only had, what… four years to build up the balls to do so,” I joke. My words cause the hungry, hot look spreading over his face to pause. It’s interesting to watch the emotions play across his features: from that dark hunger to thoughtfulness to softness he started to show around me about a year into being his daily guard. 

Seeing that softness war with his wanting for me… well, hot doesn’t really do it justice. His thumb runs along my lower lip, and in a warm whisper he murmurs, “Yeah, something like that.” I lightly kiss his thumb’s pad, the rough skin there pulling at my lips. 

“What’re you waiting for?” I ask him, trying to keep a playful, lighter tone in my voice while more deep and warring emotions make my chest tight. 

But emotions can wait. I’ve waited too long, far too long to be able to love him with my body and to feel his arms around me without anything to keep our bodies apart. 

He seems to think the same, as he almost has to force a smirk on as he tilts my chin up and moves to kiss me, but as my eyes slide shut in anticipation, his lips meet mine in an oh so gentle touch that leaves me more breathless than any passion could do. I melt into his touch as he gives me more of these soft kisses, slowly deepening into something more ardent and heated that causes my mind to spin. 

His hands run through my hair, over my skin, my hips, everywhere he can reach, and I reciprocate with the same growing need, feeling his scars and the flexing of his muscles. The image of his hips moving between mine and my hands splayed out over his tan back, feeling the strength packed into his lean form bringing our bodies together… It rips a moan from my throat, one he answers with a deep, rumbling groan in his chest. His kisses grow in their fever, ravaging my mouth at first, then my neck upper chest until I pull him back to my lips. 

When he fully pulls away, panting, I whimper and pout, and without even meaning to stomp I foot lightly. He laughs, a genuine laugh, joyful but with a raspiness that sends a wave of heat into my stomach, coiling like a spring, eager for more of his attention. “Impatient, are we?”

“Negan-” I let out a little squawk when he suddenly lifts me and tosses me lightly onto the bed. He grins down at me, moving my legs apart with my feet flat on the bed and knees bent, then places his hips in between them. 

“What? We had to get to the bed some fuckin’ time, shit.” He takes in how I look, pulling his lip lazily between his teeth and releasing it in a way that causes my blood to sear in my veins. “You can’t be the only one with surprises, darlin’, that’d be unfair as fuck.”

“Oh, so now you’re all about fairness?” I ask, my voice edged in exasperation. He nods and hums in agreement, before undoing my boots and removing my socks, massaging each of my feet in turn (with a little side eye and smirk each time), before slipping out of his own. 

“Oh, absolutely.” I sit up just as he shrugs off his jacket and sheds his t-shirt. My breathing sharpens at the sight of his lean chest being completely open to my gaze for once. My mouth watering in want, I lightly run my fingers over his scarred and tattooed skin, shivering when the curls of his chest hair tease my fingers. He hisses when my pinky grazes his nipple, and his hand whips out and grabs my wrist so fast I didn’t even see him move until it’s just there. 

Part of me had forgotten just how capable Negan can be. But his grip is gentle, not hurting. He leans in to me, his nose running along mine, his eyes hooded as are mine, our eyes peering into each other’s. It’s intimate, close, warm. He’s warm. His lips meet mine again, heated and wet, his beard scratching my skin in a way that sends chills all over my body. But, all too soon, he’s pulling away again, and… he somehow got my shirt unbuttoned in the time we were kissing. I hadn’t even realized he let go of my wrist. 

“That a talent of yours? Keeping someone so occupied with your mouth they don’t realize anything else happening?” I tease as he helps me slide out of my shirt before flinging it onto the floor. He chuckles darkly, biting his lip and leaning close.

“Oh, darlin’, you want me to show you everything my mouth can do to keep you busy?” he asks, his voice so low it’s almost a growl. The tone he uses makes my thighs try to squeeze together, but they only press against him more fully, causing his breathing to shudder for a moment. 

“I, um…” He tsks.

“That’s not an answer, baby girl,” he murmurs, one hand lightly brushing over my throat before cupping my chin. “And I do need an answer. Got to make sure you’re wantin’ this ‘n’ all.” The predatory gleam in his eyes makes my sex pulse more eagerly for him, demandingly, wanting what we’ve been missing out on all this time. 

“Yes,” I answer breathlessly, my mind beginning to fumble with words. He grins wickedly and easily undoes my bra and adds it to the growing clothes pile on the floor, then uses his body (especially his hips against mine) to move me further up the bed some. His lips meet mine for another scorching kiss, his tongue no longer teasing and patient, but demanding and his kiss is just as so. I can’t keep up with him, but before I can try to get myself on track to him, he’s moving on, leaving a trail of wet kisses and nips down my jaw, my neck, my collarbones. He gives a particularly sharp nip right on the bone, causing me to yelp and drawing a short chortle from him before his lips sooth the spot. 

I lay back down when he reaches my chest, wanting to enjoy his attention to my breasts. My hips jerk when he bites my nipples, then they grind against him when his motions become suckles, pulling whimpers and moans from me so easily. My hands play in his short hair, and one errant thought manages to pierce the heat clouding my mind: I’m so glad his hair is long enough for this again. 

But it leaves as his mouth moves further down, and it’s definitely gone when he undoes my gun belt and it crashes to the floor with a loud thunk!, and then my regular belt and pants. He bites my hip bone in the same moment he pulls my pants and underwear down in one motion. With my legs free of constraint, my feet hover around his shoulders, my eyes locked on him as my breaths come in pants. His eyes meet mine, and he holds my gaze as he lightly runs his beard over my inner thigh, the sensitive skin there coming alive under the scraping. I shiver with each brush, and his kisses nearly drive me insane.

“Negan, please,” I beg, my fingers knotting in my own hair. “Please, please, please, I can’t take it.” He sighs, but can’t hide his smile. One of his hands move from my thigh to cup my sex. 

“Mmm, that’s what I like to hear,” he replies, one of his fingers lightly pressing into my slit and rolling the small throbbing nub there slowly, causing my legs to shudder violently. “How close are you, sweetheart? Am I gonna just be gettin’ started and you fuckin’ tap out?”

“P-Probably,” I half whimper out as my hips try to press towards his hand. He watches my body arch and shake for a few moments, before his hand moves away is replaced with his mouth. He places my legs over his shoulders, then proceeds to thumb my slit open, and with a groan, his lips seal over my clit, working and rolling and suckling it wetly. My inner walls squeeze together as his mouth works, my back arching, my breathing sharp and fast. I mewl and whine and moan and struggle against him, unable to handle the intense pleasure but not wanting it completely gone, either. When I can’t stop squirming, his hands become like vices on my hips, keeping me still to him. 

“Aaagh, Negan, oh my God,” I whimper, and he answers with a dark chuckle, and as I edging close to the end, he slows for a few moments, but when I kick his back in frustration, he growls and keeps on, faster than previously, so much faster it takes only a few seconds for light to pop behind my eyes and my body both try to keep struggling and lock up at the same time. My ears deafen with a warm buzz. 

A few moments of intense pleasure pass, before I weakly push Negan’s head away. My legs and body go slack, a laugh bubbling out of my chest as my arms lazily flop onto the mattress and across my forehead. He lightly kisses my thigh before rising, placing my legs gently on the bed. I give him a lazy smile as he undoes his pants, letting them and his boxers hit the floor before climbing into bed with me finally. He easily lifts me and shifts how I’m laying so he can pull my side against his chest. “You look happier than a fuckless fuck on Free Fuck Day, sweetheart.” 

I snort, then gasp softly when his member presses against my hip stiffly. “Negan, what the hell does that mean?” 

“It means exactly what I said, shit,” he answers, acting offended. “Sweetheart, you not listenin’ to me?” I ghost my hand down his cheek, smiling when his lips press a soft kiss into its palm.

“I was, but even in all these years, I have not learned Neganese fully,” I answer ruefully with a dramatic sigh, nuzzling his shoulder. He huffs playfully, playing with my stomach. 

“A damn shame. A real fucking damn shame,” he says gravely, stuttering on the end when my hand lightly wraps around his member. He… hadn’t been lying, he is big. A flutter in my stomach and a spasm inside of me makes my breathing stutter too. He eases my hand away from him with a soft hiss, pressing a soft kiss to the back of it. “As much as that feels fucking amazing, I want to be inside of you far too fucking much to let you continue,” he says in such a gruff voice it gives away just how eager he is for that exact scenario. I flutter my lashes at him before turning on my side with my back to him, bending my leg to give him easier access. Then, I lay one of my arms along my side, playing with the skin of my hip. 

“Then let’s get going,” I purr, wiggling my butt against him. He groans so deeply it’s almost a growl and one of his hands cup my ass, squeezing softly. But he stills, his other hand tracing the scars, both aged in the years and some fresh, and the even fresher stitches on my back carefully with his other. 

“Will it hurt you if I do?”

“No.”

“You sure, darlin’? I don’t want to hurt you. Ever.” His breathing shudders as he says the last word, causing my heart to hurt. I reach back and cup his cheek, gently nudging his head forward so I can press my cheek against his. 

“I’m sure. Don’t think about it right now,” I murmur soothingly, pressing myself fully against him. His hand skates over my hip, up the length of my body, to cup my head and gently move it to where he can give me a gentle kiss that both melts me completely and causes my heart to clench. The other hand works its way under me and then lightly brushes my still sensitive clit, causing me to jump. 

“Will you lead me in?” he breathes against my lips, a ghost of a grin steadily slanting across his lips. I nod and lift my bent leg, then wrap my hand around his throbbing part. He grunts and his hips jerk, but he lets me move him to where its head lightly presses inside of me, and with a slow thrust, he begins to fill me, leaving us both to sigh and gasp against each other’s lips.

My hand leaves to knot in his hair. A rush of nervousness fills me at the thought that maybe he’d realize my inexperience by this, but if he does, he doesn’t mention it. And while there is some pain, it’s nothing like what people always said it would be.

He doesn’t get rough, he stays easy and slow, holding me against him the entire time, leading me to a slow-rising but intense second orgasm, and then his own finish on the sheets. After, he gently holds me to his chest, his hands holding me by my shoulders and hips. Careful to avoid the marks left in my flesh. Holding me like some precious, fragile treasure. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, Negan… It was amazing,” I answer honestly, nuzzling his chest. “I was worried it’d be more painful, but… it wasn’t. I only felt it for a little bit, and while I’m kinda sore… it’s not bad at all.” He lightly kisses the top of my head.

“I noticed when you tensed; I was worried as shit that you were wanting me to back off, but you didn’t say anything and kept pullin’ me in you. I’m glad you enjoyed it, sweetheart. First times shouldn’t be fucked up.”