#**negative

*i it’s rally cannot force myself to care about anything atm

🦗

** it’s ‘give up and quit trying to make things happen’ hours again

**I dunno guys it’s just

**I don’t see the point most of the time

**im not bringing anything to the table and I’m just?? Not??? Like I don’t really blame anyone for not writing with me I really don’t bc why would anyone???

**like??? Who cares about this, what I’m writing??? I barely even do at this point

**people o used to write with don’t write with me or even talk to me anymore and I’m so hurt by it when like??? I give no reason for anyone to stay

**I just wish I could like

**be content with how things are bc oc content just isn’t the same as canon content canon content is always going to the favorite and default bc it’s REAL

**why both with whatever I’m doing

**and then I start to think it’s really just ME that’s the problem bc I do write a canon character but the pool for writing there is small too. And it’s bc of how I write him probably. No one seems to have any problem with the many other ways the same character can be interpreted but for some reason my interpretation isn’t worth a go

**yes I’m whining yes I’m being bitter and angry but I know that most of these kinds of posts go unread so that makes me feel like I can air out this dirty laundry so I can go back to being happy with not really playing as major of a role in the rpc as id like to