corporate work is a lot of doublethink im saying ārestructuringā when i mean layoffs and im saying ātrouble with resourcingā when i mean layoffs and im always smiling and friendly even tho i dont want to and always accepting when my manager asks me to add or change something that he really shouldāve spoken up about weeks before but its ok because i am trying to be pleasant to the people (real people, not AI not yet) around me. this reminds me a lot of when i lived in the middle east and had to pretend i was not an apostate lol i did a lot of doublethink there too and it was exhausting to present one way to my family and then keep my truth hidden in my mind and never let it out because if they found out they might kill me. this is different because i only need to present this way and doublethink while at work and not all the time but its taking me back to that time with all the lying and the exhausting doublethink and the pretending to smile and pretending to be agreeable and AI does feel like god like i feel the same fear i did back then when i was trying to hide that i feel now when i interact with it but this time itās just the knowledge that the AI im forced to use is learning from my use on how to replace me lmao. at least itās not trying to kill me (yet) but you know. This is kinda funny because i think im in the process of inventing a new kind of AI psychosis and mine is going to be way more interesting
