#(positively)

I won't post the entire drawing here but uhh look under the cut if you want to see more detail (and legs) ↓

All Crimes of Bill Cipher in Somewhat Chronological Order:

Arson (as a child, he burned his schoolmates and their stuff due to bullying)

The Euclydean Massacre (all sources add something to this. In the series, he mentions “liberating” his dimension, in TBOB we learn about how that was by accident, in Dipper and Mabel and the Curse of the Time Pirates, Axolotl additionally mentions the arson and Bill’s guilt about it)

Breaking and entering dimensions

Mutilation (searing a brand into the skin of his followers, the Henchmaniacs)

Armed robbery (with Henchmaniacs)

Turning his first lawyer into an inanimate object (a feather)

Forcing his second lawyer (Multilevel Mark) to work for him under the threat of turning him into an inanimate object too.

Destruction of prisons

Destruction of mental health institutions (we don’t know the exact number)

Destruction of planets (to make them kiss)

Burning galaxies

Auctioning galaxies (for 20$ if you can believe)

Destruction of at least one dimension inhabited by Trilazzx Betians

Murder (mostly of cops)

The Nightmare Realm Prom (don’t ask me about this one. Death toll was 300, pretty low for Bill)

Murder (with a silly straw!)

Conquering a dynasty (This is canon in TBOB)

Battle and defeat of the Time Baby (henchmaniacs played a part too)

Murder of Grembley Hemberdreck (and eating him)

Turning a man’s face into stone (this is the “is it a stone is it a face” artifact in the Mystery Shack)

Arson-murder (the shaman, Modoc the Wise had to set himself on fire to get rid of Bill)

The ten plagues of Egypt

Animal cruelty (shaving Pharaoh’s cats)

Mass murder of Aztecs (it’s implied that Bill started the ripping out hearts tradition as a form of Sun worship. This is from TBOB, Aztec mythology and history about this is actually extremely complicated and very interesting, but I’m not getting into that here)

Torture (of Plato by trapping him in a cave)

Starting the Bubonic plague (It’s implied in TBOB, I headcanon he actually did it)

Mass murder (burning down the entire castle)

100 years of psychological torture (through constant nightmares)

Psychological torture (of George Washington. Bill gave him nightmares so intense that he lost all of his teeth while sleeping)

Mass endangerment (by releasing live bees in the theater)

Conspiracy (to blow up all nukes at once)

Implied murder and torture of an unknown being (must have happened after 1950 because Bill used a garbage bag to put the victim’s remains in after torturing them physically and mentally, removing their entrails and cutting them to pieces. The victim was then thrown in the river and supposedly never found)

Identity theft (Bill possessed the corpse of Silas Birchtree and took his identity)

Cult activity (“Silas” became the leader of the cult of Ciphertology)

Polygamy (it’s illegal in all US states. Bill married over 138 individuals as Silas Birchtree)

Banning travel out of Orchard Lake/Billville, even in emergencies (this definitely lead to some Ciphertologists dying)

Mutilation (searing a brand onto his followers - again)

Multi-level marketing (a pyramid scheme, how fitting for the pyramid god)

Hijacking a local radio station (to read shape erotica)

Pouring 600 gallons of detergent into water supply (this could classify as terrorism in a dry desert of Kansas where this took place)

Blocking all radio and TV signals (is this considered conspiracy, brainwashing, or something else?)

Mass poisoning (Bill forced Ciphertologists to drink “lemonade” which gave everyone diarrhea)

Riots (I don’t know the validity of this crime, but in his final showdown with Kansas police as Silas Birchtree, Ciphertology headquarters were set on fire and nine people lost their lives)

Mass murder (of programmers, by forcing them to commit suicide, we don’t know the number of victims)

Mutilation and murder (six heads mutilated on display)

Animal cruelty (killing 18 rats to give as a birthday gift to Ford)

Destruction of property (he broke the snow globe Fiddleford made for Ford on purpose)

Domestic abuse (everything he did to Ford has to be domestic abuse, right?)

Animal cruelty (gluing a snake to the journal)

Domestic violence (possessing Ford and making him hurt himself on purpose is the closest one can get to domestic violence when dealing with a non-corporeal being)

Destruction of property (he burned the gloves Fiddleford made for Ford. I genuinely headcanon that Bill destroyed the six-fingered gloves because we’ve never seen Ford wear them after the first night of domestic violence Bill forced Ford to endure)

Mass assault under influence (Bill’s drunk escapade in Burrito Paradox resulted in: a man stuck through the ceiling, two customers sewn together, a child’s head replaced with a CGI watermelon. None of these people seem to have died)

Property destruction (also in Burrito Paradox, filling juice machines with blood and getting stuck in the milkshake machine)

Indecent exposure (this is why he was arrested after the Burrito Paradox incident. My headcanon is that he removed his skin/exoskeleton in front of the policemen)

Animal cruelty (ripping teeth out of deer’s mouth and later shoving them back in – both probably hurt the equal amount)

Psychological torture (nothing in the Mindscape is actually real, so Bill hurting Dipper, Mabel and Soos while they were in Stan’s mind didn’t actually hurt them. Still, it definitely left some serious trauma in all three)

Psychological torture (of poor sleep-deprived Dipper)

Torture and murder (of the “head that’s always screaming”. Who was that guy? I have no idea, but he was based on Khal Drogo from Game of Thrones. If he really was Gravity Fall’s equivalent to Drogo, that this is a crime, but also a feminist score for Bill. I am the #1 Khal Drogo hater please don’t at me)

Destruction of property (Dipper’s lap top)

Physical assault (while possessing Dipper, Bill slaps his body, drops it down the stairs, pours soda in his eyes and stabs his forearm with a fork, all of these are as close as you can get to a physical assault with a non-corporeal being)

Attempted murder (Bill planned to throw Dipper’s body off the water tower once he was done with him and threatened to do the same to Mabel)

Identity theft (taking Blendin’s body to trick Mabel)

Weirdmageddon (it’s labeled as a singular crime of dimensional break-in by the Theraprism, because they don’t care about lives of organic beings. Bill, however, does an insane amount of crimes during these three days of his apocalypse party, so I’ll count them separately)

Imprisoning Mabel (she liked the bubble, but still)

Public property destruction (he melted the statue of Nathaniel Northwest)

Mutilation (shuffling all functions of Preston Northwest’s face. As hilarious as it was to watch the rich asshole suffer, this is a serious crime)

Mass imprisonment (all the people Bill turned into stone and put in his throne of frozen human agony)

Terrorism (destroying the entire town of Gravity Falls)

Mutilation (turning Abuelita into a chair)

Kidnapping (grunkle Ford, by turning him into a trophy wife gold statue)

Property destruction (burning the journals)

Stealing a car (and modifying it)

Violation of the rules of space-time (this is some time police shit, but I’m trying to get as high as possible with this list, so I’m counting it)

Mass murder (of Time Baby and his agents. Technically, according to Blendin, Time Baby isn’t dead, but I WANT HIM DEAD, FUCK TIME BABY, MAY HE ROT!!!)

Intimidation (of his Henchmaniacs. He probably does that every day all day whenever something mildly inconveniences him and judging from their reactions, they are terrified)

Making a couch of human skin (I don’t know how many people had to die for this and honestly don’t want to imagine)

Torture (of grunkle Ford)

Attempted murder (of everyone in Shack-tron)

Imprisonment and torture (of Gideon)

Mutilation (of Gideon, Robbie, Pacifica, Soos, Wendy and McGucket by turning them into flags)

Physical assault (choking Ford and Stan)

Attempted murder (of Dipper and Mabel)

Starting riots in the Theraprism

Communicating with other people out of the Theraprism (TBOB)

Mind manipulation (of everyone who read TBOB)

I honestly expected more, but that's all. Kill count is in the billions at least. I can't even estimate the kill count, so don't ask me.

So yeah, those were all crimes of Bill Cipher that I could find. I didn't count the unused scenes and cut pages of TBOB.

It looks like my blorbo is a little bit problematic, but he's cute, so all crimes are forgiven/s