“My plug is coming over— just be cool, ok? He gives me an insanely good price. He might hang out for a little, too.”

You know by now any questions you have will be waved off, so you resign yourself to dealing with there being another strange man in the apartment.

Nikolai greets your boyfriend warmly, like he’s an old friend, but his eyes light up when they land on you.

“And tell me— who is this beautiful creature?”

It’s a slippery slope from there.

That first time, he just sits by you, maybe drapes an arm on the couch behind you. You take a hit from the joint he has for himself at your boyfriend’s urging. Nikolai laughs and looks at you with soft eyes when you cough— like he just saw a silly puppy fall over.

He kisses your cheeks when he says goodbye and your boyfriend waves it off with a “he’s European”.

The next time, his arm is around your shoulders. Then, there’s a hand on your thigh. His goodbye kiss starts landing closer and closer to your lips.

And you feel guilty because you like it. There’s something so slow and easy and sticky about Nikolai— he’s easy to fall into. He’s an excellent conversationalist. He has interesting stories and despite the fact that he only sees you once a week, he seems to remember more about you than your boyfriend ever does. And your boyfriend, usually blitzed within the hour, either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. Every time you bring up how it’s a little strange what Nikolai (or Kolya, he’s insisted you call him) does, he waves it off— telling you to just be cool and not ruin a good thing.

Your coughing persists every time you take a hit to be polite. Nikolai responds by shotgunning with you. You were sure that would push your boyfriend over the edge, but no.

Until one day, you come home to what you think is an empty apartment. Your boyfriend should be at work. But you walk into your bedroom, and there he is— Kolya playing with the old teddy bear from your dresser (your boyfriend always ends up throwing it out of your bed).

“Nikolai—“

“Malýshka, how many times have I said? You can call me Kolya,” he chides gently, placing the bear down in a sitting position before moving to you.

“Jason isn’t—“

“I know he isn’t home right now, pchelka. He told me I could come here today while he was out.”

“He… he did? Why?”

The truth sits like a sore under your tongue but you don’t want to let it out. You don’t want to admit how stupid you’ve been. How this has been a long time coming.

“He is, well…. A loyal customer. But he hasn’t been able to make a full payment for a long time.”

He can see the second hand of a clock ticking behind your eyes.

“And he knows… he knows how fond I am of you.”

You shake your head in disbelief.

“And he made me an offer.”

You cry. First and foremost at the betrayal. At being treated so cheaply. At knowing this would happen and doing nothing to stop it. At the fact that you ever fell for the romantic words of a man so spineless. But most of all you cry from guilt and relief at the same time.

Because this has been your deepest, darkest, most unspoken fantasy ever since Nikolai walked into the door with his deep brown eyes, with his imposing figure and the gold chain dangling from his neck— and called you beautiful while looking at you like he really believed it.

You spend the rest of the evening in bed with Kolya. The same bed where your boyfriend fucked you. Slept next to you. Left the covers in a mess when he left bed after you.

Hours of it consist of comfort. Of shushing and cooing, of soft stroking and quick circles, of tongue and kisses and nuzzling with his nose.

Nikolai only fucks you once you beg. With a quivering lip and hiccuping sobs. When he can see your hips and feel your cute little hole on the tip of his cock as you try to line yourself up and chase him so he’ll fill you.

Respectfully, he put on a condom. But you don’t really care.

And when you’re in his arms afterwards, playing with his chain while he rubs your back, there’s a lot he could say. But he doesn’t need to say any of it.

He only speaks when he starts to pull away with a groan and a stretch. For a moment, you think everything will shatter— the dream will end and he’ll leave. He got what he wanted. No one wants you beyond what you provide for them. It’s then that he speaks.