#((mod bat

(Original photo of the Monkees from Facebook, it's under the cut.)

Dante’s phone buzzed and lit up with a text notification from Adrian. “Hey, could you come in for like an hour and clean the walk-in fridge? Some big ass thing tore it up and Baylen is tweaking hard.” Dante looked down at the text as he used his towel to pat his hair dry. His face twisted into a frown as he picked up the phone to try and come up with even an inkling of an idea how to respond to such a request but before he could even type the words he wanted, Enzo had beaten him to it. 

“Dude, what the fuck?” Dante looked at the screen and shrugged as he closed the phone and continued on with his night. He was used to hell shitting on his job when he was there so the idea of things going wrong while he was gone didn't bother him. It was essentially a part of the job description that Waffle House is its own circle of hell nestled oh so graciously between greed and wrath; His own personal inferno.  He opened his bathroom door and gracefully tossed his phone on his bed, choosing to focus on his recovery for his own health. Dante coughed harshly into his elbow and used his fist to lightly pound on his chest in hopes of migrating the clinging mucus coating his insides. The shower was meant to loosen up the sickening flem inside him and ease the migraine that brought him to his knees in agonizing pain in class today. His head chef sent him home from his pastry course after he fell over an open oven door from his vision spotting. Dante pressed his hands tightly to his face as he stumbled over to his bed and allowed himself to let gravity pull him down to his mattress. With his head throbbing he could do nothing but lay on his stomach with a pillow over his head as he shook in pain. This wasn't the first time he had had migraines but it had been over 15 years since he'd last had a migraine in all honesty; besides his cigarette every two days he was the pinnacle of health. He never drank alcohol, never took damaging drugs in high school, hell he was even a purple belt in jujitsu so the resurgence of one of the worst pains in his life not only has him annoyed but also a bit worried for his health. He had already called earlier in the day to schedule an appointment to not only check up on his health but possibly get his old prescription back for his migraine medication. For now, all Dante could do was lay in bed in agony as his brain scraped against his frontalis begging to be free. He continued to shake, almost fainting from the pain when it started to die down and he finally let his aching muscles relax from being clenched and tensed from the agony his skull decided to bestow upon him. He let out a pained groan as he removed the pillow from over his head and sat up on his mattress. Moving his duvet to the side he grabbed his phone and flinched as the bright screen invaded his senses. 

Soon his eyes adjusted to the screen as he checked his notifications. 50 unread messages. Lovely. He clicked on the work group chat and scrolled up past the wall of sarcastic memes to see what he missed. In the texts Adrian and Enzo bickered back and forth about how there should be no reason why they should be contacting either Enzo or Dante after they called off of work for very serious health issues, especially considering the fact they never call off work. Adrian could only counter by saying no one else wanted to handle it since the incident happened in the walk-in fridge, and Baylen only trusted Enzo or Dante to clean in there normally.  Enzo thankfully stood their ground for the both of them and told Adrian to either handle it themself or Enzo would come in to handle it in a very unprofessional manner. Scrolling through the rest of the chat was just the other night shift crew obviously fucking around and not cleaning the store. Normally on shift, Dante has to play manager and tell people 4 years older than him to do their job so the day shift does not harass them, but the one day he's gone he could already see the stupid yellow managerial note taped to the night shift desk bitching about how filthy it was when they opened. They always found something to bitch about though; ironic considering they never cleaned in preparation for the night crew and often left large messes for hours on end for the night shift to clean. Dante rolled his eyes as he stood up to grab his uniform to head to work. Might as well be a team player since Baylen was already having a bad night. As he pulled on his black jeans his phone came to life once more grabbing his attention at hand. Tilting his head at an angle to read the message from his beloved manager, Baylen, he let out a sigh of relief as he opened the chat. 

“I‘ll deal with the walk-in, I was the one who fired rounds into it anyway.” Dante’s face scrunched with a look that was a mix of concern, confusion, and disappointment. “You know what. Not even going to question it. You do you.” The message was left on seen as Dante continued to get dressed to head out for the night. The West Virginia fall was not kind with its temperatures, especially in the hilly woods that Dante called his home. Dante laced up his boots and stood tall as he left his bedroom, heading straight for the coat rack to grab his heaviest jacket. His dad’s old beat-up carhartt jacket was the best thing he had around to keep him warm and comfortable in the chilling air. Checking his pockets for his lighter and cigarettes, he slid the chain of his lock to the left and unlocked his door making sure to grab his keys on the way out. Once in the hall of his apartment, he turned around quickly pulling on the door handle harshly as he stuck his key into the knob to lock the door behind him. “You didn’t knock on my door today,” a monotone voice said from behind him. Dante nearly jumped out of his skin as he turned around at breakneck speed to see who was behind him. Standing behind Dante with a shit-eating grin was his neighbor and fellow college classmate, Cody. Dante held his hand to his chest as he let out a sigh of relief before slapping Cody's arm harshly. “You scared me you fucking dickhead,” he grumbled as he pulled his key out of the door handle. Cody let out a mischievous chuckle and gave Dante a lopsided grin. “You know me. Silent but deadly.” Dante snickered as he turned and headed down the hallway with Cody trailing behind. They both headed down the stairs of their apartment building and out of the back exit to an alleyway behind the building. The alleyway wasn't the ideal spot to stand around at, as it held the dumpsters and feral animals of the town. More often than not week old trash and moldy cardboard littered the concrete floor with the smell of cat piss wafting over for added ambiance, but to Dante, it didn't matter as he had gone nose blind to it years ago when he had moved in. Dante wasted no time heading over to the metal stairs that connected to the building and taking his seat. Pulling out his pack of newports, he grabbed one and placed it between his lips as he cuffed his hand in front of his face, bringing the lighter up to the end of it. Once the tip glowed a burnt ember orange, he took a long drag and then held it in, relishing in the warmth and slight burning it brought to his lungs. He exhaled as a familiar tingle spread across his body, “God I've needed a hit of nicotine all day, you have no idea,” Dante chuckled gruffly as he looked up at Cody who was pulling out his own pack. Cody smiled while shaking his head as he pulled out his desired cigarette and felt around his pockets. “Forgot my lighter again. You mind?” Cody questioned as he placed it delicately between his lips. Dante snickered and rolled his eyes at Cody's carelessness. 

“When do I ever mind?” Dante retorted as he placed the cigarette back in his mouth. Cody smiled as he leaned down and touched the tip of his cigarette against Dante’s. Cody's bright green eyes focused on the cancer sticks between them, but Dante couldn't help but let his eyes drift to admire the man in front of him. They had been neighbors for 3 years since Dante had turned 18 and moved to the dingy apartment building in hopes of starting his young adult life on the right foot. Cody was the first to introduce himself as he was in the exact same boat as Dante. Being the only other person close in age to Dante at 23, the two got along right away as not only were they neighbors but were also students of the same campus. While Dante was in the culinary arts program Cody was in the pathology program. Not only was Cody extremely educated he was also very pretty to Dante. Pale skin littered with freckles and beauty marks, hands constantly moisturized with neatly cut nails, a gentle face with nice cheekbones, glasses that brought attention to his strong eye shape, and wavy brown hair that just suited him nicely. Dante always admired him for his ambitions and his boyish charms. He only came back to the present moment as Cody pulled back and took a long drag of his smoke. “I was on my way over to the Waffle House to see you when you were walking out of your apartment. Didn’t you have work today?”  He asked, looking down at the man in front of him on the steps. Dante shrugged. “Had a migraine in class. Called off work. Set up a doctor's appointment as well because I haven't had migraines like that since I moved here from Michigan.” Cody hummed in acknowledgment as he took another hit. “Shame, I was hoping you'd bring me the leftovers of today's class assignment.” Dante laughed dryly and smiled as he shook his head. “I'm not your personal chef, you know. I work at a Waffle House for christ’s sake.” He sucked on his cancer stick and rubbed his boot on the ground. Pulling out his phone he checked the time and checked his messages. A few from the night shift’s group chat bullshitting around again, and a few from Enzo talking about their migraine finally fading away. Cody moved closer, leaning over Dante to spy on his phone. 

Unicorns! Mythical mono-horned equines! They're such a fixture of myth and pop culture that they really need no introduction. As such, we're here to determine the Most Unicorn of All Time (according to a small subset of the Tumblr userbase). That's where you come in.

We will be accepting unicorn submissions until the end of April. If you have a favorite unicorn from fiction or myth, please feel free to submit it here! If you have something that kind of counts as a unicorn if you think about it hard enough, also feel free to submit that! We're more than happy to debate its unicorn-ness Diogenes-style (because Diogenes is an icon to be emulated, and it will add a lovely side of shenanigans to the proceedings -Mod Bat).

Rules are as follows:

Be respectful (don't be a dick, please).

Multiple submissions per person are welcome, but don't spam the same character, please.

Propaganda is welcome, but please be responsible and respectful; this is all meant to be in good fun, after all. If things get toxic we can and will shut this whole thing down without remorse.

As a bonus for Pride Month 20gayteen, here’s a textless version of the last confession!