#((ignored

quiet one of the group

Forsaken x Gn!Reader

| Tags: Angst, No comfort, sad, reader needs a hug

Standing in the cabin, you pressed yourself into the farthest corner, arms stiff and locked tightly against your sides, as if making yourself smaller might make you disappear entirely. The others talked freely among themselves, laughter, snippets of stories, quiet murmurs passed between them, but not one of those voices was directed at you. Not once did anyone glance your way.

And even if you wanted to join them, you couldn’t. You had tried before, forcing a few quiet words into a conversation, only for someone else to cut across you like a blade through thin paper. They didn’t even notice. Your voice never seemed to carry far enough to matter.

You didn’t know what you’d done to deserve it. Sometimes the others looked at you like you weren’t even a person, just… something taking up space. Their eyes lingered a little too long, their brows pinching as if your very presence was an inconvenience, like gum stuck beneath their shoe that they couldn’t scrape off.

Your gaze wandered, lifting just enough to catch sight of Shedletsky and Builderman by the porch window. Their heads were tilted close, their conversation quiet. For a fleeting second, their eyes met yours, then both of them looked away in unison, like the thought of holding your gaze was unbearable. Your stomach twisted with a sick certainty. You didn’t need to hear their words to know who they were talking about.

You. Always you.

The two of them rarely addressed you unless it was out of necessity. Rarely ever, and never warmly. And when you let your eyes drift to the others, the ache only deepened. Elliot never once healed you, not even when you were bleeding out and begging for it. Dusekkar wouldn’t speak a single rhyme in your direction. Chance still smiled, of course he did, but it was forced when you were near, so stiff you could almost hear his teeth grind behind it. Noob shrank back every time you approached, his silence shrinking even tighter. Guest never extended a hand when you fell, not once. And even 007n7, who you once thought might care, avoided lingering near you now.

It was exhausting, more exhausting than the rounds, more exhausting than the endless fear. It was the kind of exhaustion that lived inside your bones, gnawing at the quietest parts of you. And it left you wondering, again and again, why? Why they didn’t want you. What about you was so unbearable. You had only ever been patient, only ever been kind, offering what little you could. And all of it was thrown back at you like worthless scraps.

The air in the cabin felt heavier than your lungs could carry, so you slipped quietly outside, the wooden steps creaking beneath your weight. No one followed. They never did.

You made your way down to the dock, each step on the damp planks echoing in the stillness. Kneeling, you lowered yourself onto the cold wood, your legs hanging off the edge, heels knocking softly against the boards as you swung them absentmindedly. The water below was still, unnervingly still, like a mirror no one dared disturb. It never rippled on its own. Only when someone entered it did it move.

Your hands rested limply in your lap before wandering to a small tear in your jeans. You picked at the loose strings, tugging them free, winding them into tiny threads between your fingers until they balled together. A meaningless habit. Something to keep your hands busy so your chest didn’t cave in entirely.

The dock was the only place you could breathe. No one ever came down here. They were too busy with each other, too caught up in lives you were never part of. Out here, there was silence. Out here, you didn’t have to pretend you weren’t breaking.

But the truth lingered bitter on your tongue. Even here, you wanted them. You wanted someone to notice the space you left when you walked away. You wanted someone to sit beside you on the creaking wood, to break the silence with something kind, even something small. To remind you that you weren’t as invisible as they made you feel.

Because in this never-ending hell, in the dark that never lifted, all you wanted was a single shred of kindness. And it seemed you were the only one not worthy of it.