((Hey hi question what in the FUCK WAS THAT))

jeezus i forget how much this arc WRECKS ME

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part of what made majima so ruthless in the beginning of his life as the mad dog of shimano was absolutely how he dealt with the grief the 80's saddled him with. basically everyone he knew and got anything close to attached to died, and in the very special case of makoto, was never an option to truly have. everyone knows the five stages of grief, and majima was no exception to it. at the beginning, of course he was deep in denial about how much he hurt, instead focusing on living free and wild, avoiding his pain. anger is a bit of an obvious one, and one that comes up any time any of his men, or anyone for that matter, try to take advantage of a woman. he may have killed people, but he's a criminal with standards, and hearing about makoto's trauma and how it affected her physically was his first real brush with the horrible shit crime syndicates do. it was enough to make sure NOTHING like that is going on in his family, and that anger flares up at the mere mention of taking advantage of women for profit, likely leading to whoever mentioned it leaving majima barely standing and bleeding from every which way his knife could find. bargaining is really only saved for the moments he has to himself, when he's drunk and stupid, thinking back on those fucked up days with makoto and wondering if his brother would understand, would spare him, pleading to no one at all that something could be different. lee deserved better, to truly father makoto, and be a damn good one. he knows things can't be different, though. by the time they met, it was too late for majima after all. he had already been stained past any point of return, and he knew it then, so he knows it now, much as it hurts. majima doesn't let himself be too depressed about anything, shoving it all aside. there a moments, brief flickers of the mad dog persona slipping, but never around anyone he doesn't fully trust, and only for a few seconds for a word of experienced advice. he hasn't fully accepted everything until kiwami 2, still having so many loose ends and thoughts about her, wondering how she's doing and how she's changed. however, that brief moment he had back in the massage parlor was enough to finally, finally put those thoughts at ease. something about makoto not even telling her husband about her time with him feels nice, warm, enough to feel like it truly was special, even if horrific for the girl. but she's happy. she's living a wonderful, normal life. she's truly in love. and, at the very least, majima can pay that forward and finally ease her own final regrets before leaving it all behind. that gift was the final piece of the puzzle for both of them, and majima fully accepted his losses with that gift.