#;tinkerball

Dear Wendy,

I know that things haven’t been easy between us lately, and I know that I’ve been acting like a complete bitch around you, and this probably is an excuse, but I’ve been having quite a hard time of my own with everything going on in my life, and you know me, I’m not good when It comes to dealing with my own emotions. I’m sorry.

I guess It’s the fact that I don’t know what to do when It comes to you, sometimes there is this kind of awkwardness between us that I can’t really explain why, I guess It’s the fact that you are close to him too, and despite you saying that I’m your best friend, I know he is as well, and in a way I guess It makes me wonder if I can still tell you things like before. And I know It’s me being selfish, but It makes me upset when he uses that nickname with you as you use back for him when It used to be mine, and I’m a selfish person, but then again, what rights do I have now to be upset? Sometimes It’s best to let go, I guess. And I guess It’s the fact that It seems you seem to be so careful around me now, always afraid that I’m upset at you or that I’d hate you, that makes it so hard to be comfortable around you like I did before. You keep apologizing for things that you don’t do and I wonder if It’s me with the problems. Maybe It is. And I guess that a part of me is jealous because It seems you are happier and closer with other people now, you can tell them things and you are happy with them instead of with me, but I guess I only have myself to blame for that, and again, I have my friends too, so what rights do I have to feel replaceable? 

I’m not good when It comes to feelings and such, but I really miss us before, when we could freely tell each other everything and be dumb together. I hope you know that you can stop worrying that i’m upset at you, because I’m not, and you are free to do whatever you want to do, and that all I want is wish you happiness because you deserve it. And I hope that one day you will find that happiness, too, and you won’t be sad. Sometimes It’s best to ask the important question, taking that risk knowing that you might get hurt, than staying in the dark and wonder what could happen. Be happy, okay?

With love,