#;odd

backstage at kcon, between performances @idellie

if there’s one positive to debuting, it was being able to withdraw from the produce project. although his time there had been short, it had been a bit painful. when presented with the chance to join, it was framed as his one chance to chase after his dream, to present himself to the public in a way to win some favor. he knew that midas had talked about a new boy  group for quite some time, using it as incentive to push their male trainees further and further. but it always seemed like nothing but a pipe dream, something in some distance future that isn’t sure to come along.

so he went along with it, sold his soul to the producers and tried his best with what he had. he hadn’t anticipated how hungry, how greedy the show would make him. jaehyun was a bit more reserved, preferred to spend his time alone than in large groups unless enticed by friends. but on the show, he was relaxed, charming too. marketed for only a short time, but seen as the bigger brother type. although he had to force himself to be a bit extra a times, a bit more positive than he really was. it wasn’t all fake though, just amped up.

and although they tried their best to keep the trainees apart, separating them due to preceived gender, jaehyun’s saving grace was eleanor. their friendship was unlikely, had started on a whim and had become something that he relied on time and time again. it was one of the reasons why he was a bit heartbroken, to leave the show. becuase what was he going to do without her?

jaehyun hadn’t even gotten the chance to properly say goodbye. once news of his impending debut came, they had whisked him away with strong words to get his stuff and get in the van. and after that it was a whirlwind of movement. practices were amped up, nights were filled with preparations, recordings and stylists working tirelessly to perfect their looks. it left him reeling and with barely enough time to eat and sleep.