Though I agree with most the things you say I definitely can't agree with the pedophilia parts. I just think any form of children in sexual situations is plain gross, but other than that I'm sorry you're getting so much hate dude :(
First of all, thank the heaven’s you aren’t telling me to get le corona or whatever, I appreciate the politeness <3
second of all, I totally understand. And I will say this: it makes me uncomfortable too. I also find it gross, and I don’t like it. But I recognize that I have self control and I get to chose what I do and don’t see (blacklists exist) and I recognize censorship is very, very bad. A lot of us are lucky to live on the western side on the globe, because places like China, especially with the Hong Kong protesters, face major censorship issues, and to suggest to censor content without KNOWING how that can grow into a huge problem is...scary.
In fact, I once read a story for class that featured heavy depictions of sexual abuse aimed at a minor, and it made me legitimately nauseous reading it. As well, I was made to read a story (for class, again) that depicted somebody heavily suicidal, and it triggered me greatly as I was suicidal during that period of my life. But...I would never wish those stories to be burned, or censored. I don’t like those books. I never want to read them again. But they have the right to exist, and to spread the messages they want to spread about how dark the world truly can be.
I am a survivor who used shipping and fucked up fiction to cope. My therapists (I use to talk to several) all told me it was normal, as long as I recognized that it was bad in real life. It saddens me that many antis won’t support survivors with different opinions. Survivors who already feel like freaks or already feel outcasted are being outcasted by other survivors. It’s a terrible feeling, and I use to feel it heavily. To know other people who went through my struggle see me as dirty, or less-worthy, even accusing me as “fetishizing” or “supporting” the very things that terrified me, It’s plain terrible.
I will never understand how people can say that to survivors and not feel bad about it; it’s one of the most emotionally fucked up things you can say to a human.
Some taboo fiction is created and consumed by survivors. Others by non-survivors. You should not have to disclose your personal trauma to be able to make a fic, or to post art. The fact antis feel they need to hear your trauma and then judge if you’re “traumatized enough” to own an opinion is....well.....terrible.
It doesn’t bother me anymore, but it used to a lot. I felt like I needed to kill myself all because I coped in a way that wasn’t pure and saintly to these people. Because my mentality isn’t black and white. Because humans aren’t perfect, pure creatures. Because I’m wrong for functioning differently.
And so, to answer you: I do not like p*dophilia fics or art. But I understand why it exists, because I know how it feels to go through this. Even if it’s made by a non-survivor, I feel it has the right to exist. If it really came down to it, if it stopped somebody from harming a real actual child, then that’s all that I can really hope for. Everything has pros and cons, and I don’t think we should deprive survivors or people going through tough times of resources just because some people use them badly. And in those instances, we should catch and punish the abusers, not the people making content, because they weren’t advocating for such things. At least I can take comfort in the fact Ao3 won’t delete fics (unlike wattpad or ff.net), but the stigma around survivors who cope in less pure ways is bothersome.
And I will say this: if you’re reading this and you’re somebody who enjoys taboo fiction, survivor or not, there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s normal. Humans are diverse. Humans aren’t simple black-and-white beings. Humans think up fucked up things. The world can be dark. You are not a bad person and you are not doing anything wrong, never let anybody tell you otherwise.
