#:queen

Dear best friend Byulyi,Even now, now that I call you mine, I still can't completely understand why? Why after seven years you're still by my side, after everything I've put you through, after all the times I've disappeared. Judging by my track record, you should be gone, you should hate me, but for some reason you learned how to handle me. There's a level of control you've always had over me, the voice of reason in my head that stops me from losing it completely. I owe you for things that are just impossible for me to repay you.Instead, I continue to be myself, because for you.. that has always been enough. I've never had to pretend to be someone I'm not to earn your affection. You've always loved me for the arrogant, dorky asshole that I am. And I-- I have just always loved you. We both tried to deny it, brush it off as nothing more than a deep friendship. The type of friends that depended on each other both physically and emotionally. Everytime, that I made the same stupid mistakes, always going with someone, breaking their hearts to go crawling back to you. There was even those very rare occasions that someone managed to break my heart, I will never forget the time that you were genuinely annoyed with me, the one time I let my self fall in love with someone that wasn't you, and that person destroyed me repeatedly, yet for some reason I continued to give them chances, I kept waiting for them. You were the one that opened my eyes to how stupid I was being. You were the person that held me up as I found myself, and yes, I do believe that was the beginning of who I am now.I changed a lot since we met, I'm not the same person I was when we first kissed, when we first admitted that we loved each other. With every mistake, every fuck up and every flaw I realised I had, I became more closed off, a little more cocky and a lot more of an asshole. You never gave up on me, you continued to chip away at every single barrier that I put up, refusing to let me push you away.Your stubborness was the reason I was able to fall so deeply in love with you, to the point that you were the only person I needed. We both tried it with others, tried to kid ourselves. We ignored the fact all of our partners were jealous of the other, jealous of how close we were. We tried to convince them that they were being idiots, nothing more than really good friends. We always knew this is how it would be, how it was always meant to be. It's always just been us, everyone else was merely a shadow we used to hide our true emotions in, and I feel like an idiot for all of it. I should have claimed you at the very beginning, I should never have let anyone else have the pleasure of touching what has always been mine. Because, you are. You're mine, you have always been mine and I have always been yours, I've not owned my own heart for the longest time, and I've entrusted it to you for the last seven years, I don't want it back.I love you,Kwon Hanbyul