#mbyl

….Well then. {’locks door, switches phone off’} I’m free whenever you are.

“Just this forest preserve we use to go to when my brother and I were younger--” She inhales and looks around, recalling the soft sound of waves crashing atop of one another, the scent of the small river delightful and pleasing. “But beware--” she says, mocking a threatful and serious tone. “There aren’t any public bathrooms at all. So you’d have to do business down the bushes.” And knowing the other, she’s pretty sure that’s one of the things she’s been wondering about.    

Dear best friend Byulyi,Even now, now that I call you mine, I still can't completely understand why? Why after seven years you're still by my side, after everything I've put you through, after all the times I've disappeared. Judging by my track record, you should be gone, you should hate me, but for some reason you learned how to handle me. There's a level of control you've always had over me, the voice of reason in my head that stops me from losing it completely. I owe you for things that are just impossible for me to repay you.Instead, I continue to be myself, because for you.. that has always been enough. I've never had to pretend to be someone I'm not to earn your affection. You've always loved me for the arrogant, dorky asshole that I am. And I-- I have just always loved you. We both tried to deny it, brush it off as nothing more than a deep friendship. The type of friends that depended on each other both physically and emotionally. Everytime, that I made the same stupid mistakes, always going with someone, breaking their hearts to go crawling back to you. There was even those very rare occasions that someone managed to break my heart, I will never forget the time that you were genuinely annoyed with me, the one time I let my self fall in love with someone that wasn't you, and that person destroyed me repeatedly, yet for some reason I continued to give them chances, I kept waiting for them. You were the one that opened my eyes to how stupid I was being. You were the person that held me up as I found myself, and yes, I do believe that was the beginning of who I am now.I changed a lot since we met, I'm not the same person I was when we first kissed, when we first admitted that we loved each other. With every mistake, every fuck up and every flaw I realised I had, I became more closed off, a little more cocky and a lot more of an asshole. You never gave up on me, you continued to chip away at every single barrier that I put up, refusing to let me push you away.Your stubborness was the reason I was able to fall so deeply in love with you, to the point that you were the only person I needed. We both tried it with others, tried to kid ourselves. We ignored the fact all of our partners were jealous of the other, jealous of how close we were. We tried to convince them that they were being idiots, nothing more than really good friends. We always knew this is how it would be, how it was always meant to be. It's always just been us, everyone else was merely a shadow we used to hide our true emotions in, and I feel like an idiot for all of it. I should have claimed you at the very beginning, I should never have let anyone else have the pleasure of touching what has always been mine. Because, you are. You're mine, you have always been mine and I have always been yours, I've not owned my own heart for the longest time, and I've entrusted it to you for the last seven years, I don't want it back.I love you,Kwon Hanbyul

Dear Santa,Do you remember when I was a kid, I used to get moaned at by my parents all the time because I kept trying to sneak up just so I could meet you? I remember on christmas eve, my mum would always put on christmas movies and I'd cuddle on the couch between both my parents, only the lights from the christmas tree and the tv lighting the room. Then it would be time to put out milk and cookies for you, and I always made sure to leave a carrot for Rudolph and the other reindeers. I knew they would need food to keep them travelling all night! When my mum tucked me in it was totally impossible to sleep, I was always so excited. Somehow you knew everything that I wanted, even the things I hadn't told my parents about cause I knew they didn't have the money for them.I miss having that childlike wonder. Even now, though I know the truth, I try not to let those memories fade, cause those are the things that keep me alive. I love christmas and your existence was a part of that. I love going to the shelter where my mum volunteers and telling them all the stories about you that kept my hopes alive when I was a kid.You might not be a real person, but the pure idea of you is enough for anyone, young or old and for that I truly thank you.Sincerely,Kwon Hanbyul

Dear ex,I owe you an apology, you were a genuinely amazing kid, you did everything you could to keep me by your side, to earn my attention, affection and love. Yet, I toyed with you and in the end I was the reason that you became the person I started to loathe. If I had stayed true to you, stopped my eyes from wandering. If I hadn't pushed you to your limits and messed you around, you wouldn't have ended up as miserable as you did.I did warn you though, you entered into a relationship with me knowing about my past, knowing about the things I was capable of, people consistently warned you to stay away from me before you get hurt. But I would always kiss those fears and worries away, I led you to believe that we would last forever. If I told you I never loved you, that would be a lie. But did I think we would last forever? No. I don't believe in that word.I'm sorry for everything, and I hope that wherever you are, you are happy. I hope you found someone that treats you properly and that they will fix all the parts of you that I broke.Sincerely,Kwon Hanbyul

Dear person I am used to be jealous of,Jealousy is really not an emotion I tend to feel, I've always managed to hold great pride in that fact. It comes from years of being spoiled, being able to get whatever, whoever I wanted without having to even try. You, You came along and changed that. The one person that I always had some form of claim over, even when they were taken was suddenly unattainable cause they were so damn in love with you. You have no idea how much I hated you. People just seemed to swarm to you, it could have been your way with words, or your looks. Whichever it was, you became the only competition I've ever had to face in my life. I wasn't used to not being the centre of attention, and I struggled to cope with it. I wanted what you had, the skills and more importantly the love of your life.I can say now, I am no longer jealous cause things have made themselves right once again in my life, only this time I stopped being an idiot and made that person mine. I took for granted that I would always be the most important in their life, and that they would always pick me over anyone, I'm not making that mistake again.Sincerely,Kwon Hanbyul

meme --- body part questions.status --- closed!!Arms: How do you feel about children, do you want some of your own (or more if you already have some)?Kids are cool? I dunno. I like looking after them but I've really not even considered that part of my future, yet.Birth marks: Do you have a favourite tale?Yeah, Snow White. The original Brothers Grimm one.Freckles: If you could, what would you change about your body?I'd probably wanna be a bit more buff.Brain: What is something you want to master before you die?The ability to make someone truly happy.Bruises: Are you easily hurt?Not anymore, I learned to close myself off properly to the world.Chest: What’s your worst kept secret?That I was in love with Moon Byulyi.Clavicle: What is you favourite way to show and receive affection?Depends on the person, if it's friends then hugs, if it's my girlfriend then.. well, that's none of your damn buisness.Ears: How often do you eavesdrop?Not very often, I just tend to harass people and try and get them to tell me everything, cause I'm nosy like that.Elbows: How do you react to events with large crowds? (eg. Concerts, Shopping sales)I'm not sure how to answer this, I react fine? I dunno. I just get on with it.Eyes: What has changed from how you see the world now and how you saw it 5 years ago?I don't hate it as much as I did 5 years ago, I've grown up and learned to cope with things better, take things in my stride and love the world for what it is.Feet: Can you dance well?No. No. I can't dance at all.Fingers: Can you play an instrument?No, but maybe I should learn one?Goosebumps: What scares you the most?Losing the people most important in my life.Hands: Would you rather make something from scratch or get it made for you?Made for me. If I made it myself it would just be a disaster.Hair: What has been your biggest fashion faux pas?When I shaved all my hair off.. I don't know what I was thinking.Hickeys: Have you ever fallen in love to fast and too hard?Yes. And it ended very badly for me, but then maybe I wasn't truly in love with them.Hips: Is there anything you over indulge yourself with?Moon Byulyi Food.Kidneys: What is your worst habit?Smoking.Knees: Who was your last crush?I can't even remember. I've avoided people for that long before Moonbyul that I just.. don't know.Liver: What is your biggest pet peeve?People cracking their bones, I hate it!Lungs: Do you smoke, how do you feel about smoking in general?Yes, I smoke. I like it personally, it's my lifestyle choice.Mouth: How often do you lie?Not all that often, I try not to when I can avoid it.Nails: When you’re feeling vulnerable, do you become more defensive or do you take the offensive and lash out?I take the offensive and lash out.Nose: What is your favourite scent?Moonbyul Winter Spice.Shoulders: Would you rather be pampered or be the one pampering?A good mix of both, I like to pamper people.. but who doesn't like to get pampered?Spine: What is your biggest weakness?The people close to me. I'll put myself in some stupid positions to protect them.Teeth: What is your favourite meal?Anything with noodles. I love noodles.Thighs: Have you ever been unfaithful?Yes, in the past I have and it's not something I'm proud of.Throat: What is your proudest memory?The first time I got my first set of A's. The look on my parents face is one I will never forget.Tongue: How many languages can you speak?One. Korean. I've got some broken english.Wrists: Have you ever been arrested?No. I've been booked but never actually arrested.

meme --- Single or not, reblog to see what you get.status --- accepting!!:| = You annoy me.psh, you annoy me too. It's why I love you so damn much.* = We need to make out!Yeah, we do. So why are we not doing that already, hm?