#+jonathan

Grown as a person, even at the cost of outgrowing the town.

But it's not. Steve knows it's not, because the actual sign of his change is the hand he has fisted in Byers' polo, holding him back.

(He could let go. Watch Jonathan tear into the kid, give him a fight he won't forget. 

Of course that option comes with cops, and explanations and disappointment, all of which feels like more effort than Steve wants to spend.) 

“He's baiting you.” He says to Jonathan, but his eyes bore into Andy's

Bored and bitchy and making sure he’s showing it, he adds;  “Let him bark, kid's too pussy to swing first.” 

“Fuck you, Harrington!” 

Steve rakes his eyes down the kid, and makes a face. “Ew. No thanks.” 

More sputtering follows. 

“Look, we get it.” Steve interrupts after a whole 'nother tirade.  “You think Jonathan’s gay, you think I’m gay, at this point I think you’d insist the entire town is gay if only to hide the fact that you;” 

Steve flicks his free hand forward, one finger pointed accusingly, 

“--are gay.” 

Andy’s run out of original swearwords apparently, and promptly reverts to his earlier insults of “fuck” “you” and “fucking fucker.” 

(It’s poetry, really.) 

“Oh, calm down. You think you’re the first person I’ve clocked?” Steve says, all mock patience. “Here--I’ll be kind and answer the question you’re too scared to ask.”

He releases Jonathan, already knowing Andy’s rattled. One more push and he’ll fold.

Steve has always loved the finishing move.

It was what made him such a dick back then.

“The fairies," Steve whispers. "are better people.”

As Steve expected it would, this freaks out Andy even though he finally retreats, swearing and cursing the entire time. 

Unexpectedly, it seems to have finally alerted Jonathan to a secret Steve didn’t intend to tell. 

“You know.” Jonathan says slowly, with none of his usual venom. 

He's got a look on his face like he's solved a puzzle he didn’t realize he’d been working on.

Hesitantly, like he was guessing, he added; 

“And you think I don't know.” 

Steve immediately clocks what he’s talking about. Hard not to, given what just happened and all the gay bashing that had followed--but the thing is, Jonathan’s right. 

Steve doesn’t actually believe Byers knows what he's talking about. 

Not the big picture, at least. All the specific people involved. 

What little he does know, Steve has to guess at. 

The safe play here is to use Jonathan’s awkwardness against himself.

It’s not hard to do. Steve’s played dumb his entire life, it's not exactly a burden to do it now. 

“Byers, I am begging you to talk in full sentences.” He says, rolling his eyes and cocking a hip. “The caveman grunting isn't cute.” 

Tellingly, Jonathan doesn't rise to the bait.

Instead he watches Steve, examining him. 

“I guessed about Will.” He says, and it’s dawning on Steve now that Jonathan’s being careful himself, here. “I take it you also knew about the others before I figured them out.” 

Jonathan is safe--Steve’s gut knows instinctively, that Jonathan is safe--but this is other people’s secrets they’re discussing. 

He’s not admitting to shit here unless Jonathan comes out and says it first.

So he digs his heels in. 

Makes his face look dumb, bitchy. 

“What others?” 

Jonathan glances around, and that hunched hunted look he wears could easily be misread but he meets Steve's gaze dead on when he answers; 

“The rest of us queers.”

It’s quiet but steady. A secret Jonathan’s standing behind. 

The ‘us’ is a surprise--and an admission. 

Jonathan's dating Nancy again, but Steve has had quite the education recently. 

Knows all about bisexuality, plus some.

Understanding a man dating a woman doesn’t make either straight. 

Jonthan’s standing rigid, weary, giving the same look Eddie had after his own admittance. The one that said he was waiting for a punch and planned on taking it.

It's on Steve to reassure him. 

He drops the dumb act. 

“In that case I definitely knew before you did.” Then takes the sting out of his words with;  “I wonder if Nancy knows she's surrounded.” 

“She might have guessed.” Jonathan says, with a small smile.

“You haven't told her?”

He shrugs. The smile disappears as quickly as it came, and Jonathan retreats into himself, gaze sliding away.

Unspoken then, is that of their little group, he told Steve first. 

(Of course he told Steve first.)  

He's such a feral dog sometimes. Much more so than anyone else Steve has ever encountered. 

They don't get along. Fight almost nonstop and maintain a banter exchange so pointed it makes their friends uncomfortable. 

Steve has never met a more cynical creepy fucker in his life, but theres few other people hed willingly bleed for.

They’re tangled together, bound for eternity through trauma and shared horror and six million other things that'd drive a therapist spare. 

There is no one else Steve trusts more to hold the line at the end of the world with. 

(He loves Robin, he does--and Dustin, Nancy, the whole lot of them. 

Enough to be unable to live life without them. To need them to live, even if he doesn't.

Jonathan was a different creature. 

It wasn't that Steve didn't see him the same as the others--that Jon was less important. It was that they in this case, they were the same.

Steve respected that.

Respected that Jonathan would want to be a wall too. A shield, a thing evil was forced to go through, before it every touched anyone else.

Knew that in return Jonathan respected Steve's need to be that person, too. ) 

So Steve takes a risk in return, because Jonathan didn’t catch all of what Steve said.

Likely won't catch it, unless Steve's blunt about it.

Jonathan is Nancy's, and while Steve isn't there yet, he knows himself. 

He wants to be Eddie's. 

But there was a time, and more than one moment between them. After all they've been through together, Steve was willing to meet this head on. 

Make Jonathan feel understood. 

Safe. Seen.

Steve reached a hand out once again, this time in the front of Jonathan's sweater, and quick as a shot, pulled him close.

Jonathan, to his credit, didn't pull back. Didn't even stiffen, just followed Steve's pull.

(Perhaps that was the sign of his growth--or maybe an acknowledgement of the tension they'd always had between them) 

He'd already glanced around, clocked them as safe for the quick kiss he places on Jonathan's lips. There and gone, blink and you miss it style. 

Steps back and winks at Jonathan's shocked wide eyes. 

“Well I'm sure she'll figure it out eventually.” He says. “Or whenever Munson gets up the guts to admit he remembers a promise he made.” 

He grins, watching in delight as the younger man connects the dots in real time. 

“I'd ask him himself but Robin let me know he has some sort of dramatic confession planned and I'd hate to take that away from him.” 

“You,” Jonathan says slowly, sound it out style, “and Munson.” 

“Dont be jealous, you and I would've killed each other.” 

This gets a bark of laughter, and Steve beams with it, something soft creeping into the disbelief on Jonathan's face. 

“For the first time in your life Harrington, i think you're right.”