#!past

( PAST )

@rkjuyeon​

it’s the weekend and haknyeon’s lying on his bed, watching youtube videos out loud. it’s boring when there’s nothing to do; sure he could be doing his homework but haknyeon would never do something like that. usually he’d pick up his phone and call up juyeon to hang out with him, but he can’t. not when he’s aware that the older boy is busy out on a date.

a date. 

unknowingly, he frowns. why did juyeon have to be out on a date? why couldn’t he be spending time with haknyeon instead? he sighs and rolls to his side, trying to focus on the video playing on his phone. still, he can’t quite get that uncomfortable feeling off his chest. lately he’d been feeling odd whenever he thought about it –– whenever he thought about juyeon going on dates. hanging out with people that weren’t him. and haknyeon doesn’t think he’s possessive, after all juyeon’s just a friend. if anything, he was just upset that he couldn’t hang out with juyeon whenever his friend goes out on dates. yeah, that was it.

momentarily he wondered what juyeon would be doing on those dates. holding her hand? flirting with her? kissin –– he feels odd. like his whole body is shaking and on fire. he hates it. the feeling though, isn’t sudden, it feels as though it had been building up. 

he pauses the video and sits up on his bed. his aunt and uncle were out of town, and he wasn’t sure if they even had any medicine stocked up. i shouldn’t... he thinks. but then again, it’s the only reasonable thing for him to do. his finger hovers over the messaging application and after a second he clicks on it and begins typing.

( txt to : world’s coolest hyung ) ✉ : hyunngggg ✉ : my aunt and uncle are out of town now and i’m feeling a little sick ✉ : like feverish? and my stomach aches :( and we haven’t stocked up on any medicine... ✉ : could you pleaassee buy me something to help the fever once you’re done with your date? 😢 i’d go myself but i don’t feel too well 😭 ✉ : and some snacks too hehe ✉ : ice cream! choco ice cream 🍦 ✉ : thank you hyung i love you 💕 ✉ : have fun on your date! 😊

O más bien, no lo entendía. No sabía porque la mayoría de los niños como él lucían tan felices en ese fecha, emocionados mientras hablaban sobre los obsequios que les darían a sus madres. 

No sabía que era lo que celebraban. La televisión hablaba de conmemorar a la “mujer que te había dado la vida” o algo por el estilo, a la única que te llenaba de “amor y cariño”. La que te acariciaba la cabeza cuando eras un buen niño, la que dormía a tu lado cuando tenías pesadillas. La que te preparaba una sabroso almuerzo antes de ir a la escuela, y te recibía con tu cena favorita cuando volvías.

¿Eso era una “madre”?

Porque Kanata estaba seguro de que la suya nunca había hecho cosas como esas. 

Entonces, ¿Eso significaba que la mujer con la que vivía en su casa no era realmente su “madre”?

La simple idea lo inquietaba, lo aterraba. Eso significaba que en primer lugar, no tenía una familia. 

Pero entonces recordó que había una persona que cumplía --o al menos intentaba-- igualarse a la figura que todo el mundo decía. Una persona que le obligaba a jugar a la casita, que adoptaba ese papel de cuidado y aprecio con simples juguetes y muñecos, y en ocasiones con él mismo, cuando lucía más triste que de costumbre. Una persona muy molesta, demasiado molesta.

Pero incluso en eso era parecido al tipo de “madre” que se supone debía tener. O eso creía.

Cuando divisó a Madara --su vecino-- volviendo a su casa, se alertó de inmediato. Corrió un poco hasta alcanzarle, jalando suavemente de la manga de sus ropas, buscando llamar su atención --cosa extraña en él. Cuando finalmente la tuvo, le extendió uno de sus propios juguetes marinos: Una pequeña figurita con forma de pez, de diversos colores y bastante bonita.  

Estaba bien. Solo sería por esa vez.

   “...Feliz... día...” Murmuró, luego de entregarle el improvisado obsequio. Entonces, sonrió suavemente.

      “...Mamá.” 

6: Gentle Peck

Ronan was sore beyond belief from his fight the night before and wanted nothing more than to head home, take a quick ice bath, and then fall asleep for at least twelve hours. 

And then he got a text from his girlfriend: Ari. She wanted him to meet her at the coffee shop that had sort of become ‘their place.’ 

Ronan stared down at the text for a good minute, trying to decide what to do. Should he go despite the fact he felt like he was one strong breeze away from collapsing from exhaustion? Or should he tell her that he wasn’t feeling well and ask that they meet up later? –Shoving his phone back into his pocket, he turned away from his car and started heading towards the cafe. He’d been in the biology building working on a lab project, so it was within walking distance. Pushing open the door, he was immediately hit with the strong smell of coffee and it relieved some of the tension in his shoulders. If that didn’t prove he had a caffeine addiction, he didn’t know what would. The second thing he noticed was his tiny, red headed girlfriend curled up with a book on one of the couches in the back.

@deiemos

it's not so cold when he's sitting on one of the three pillows that they own. he's even got a blanket around him and jhin is holding him close enough to share body heat. there’s utter darkness in the room save for the light that's shining from the screen of their million-year-old computer. it whirls like a rocket launcher just to play a single pixelated motion picture, flares up and fades out at random; the dead-beat machine's life is just a pathetic series of struggles. at least that's not unlike its co-owners. at least jhin can't tell when it's the colour saturation that flusters.

the light of the screen reflects off of baekhyun's cheeks. the contours of a grin. they both burst out laughing, boisterous and loud, shitting all over the quiet of the night. it's not so cold then when there's warmth in eyes that meet his --a welcome change from the gaze a mother wears as she screams a line of insults.                         ( in her defense, at least she's not a lying bitch: he really wasn’t ever supposed to be born. baekhyun must've gotten the compulsive lying from his father's side instead. )

"they panned at the worst moment! this camerawork is shit," jhin scowls at a director that will never hear him. he hasn't picked up that baekhyun's gaze has already shifted from the screen onto him. jhin doesn't usually pick up on things.

                  -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --                                 THE FEW INSTANCES THAT JHIN ACTUALLY PICKED UP ON                                                                            SOMETHING UNSPOKEN

a few hours ago, when baekhyun was sulking for a little more hot sauce on his noodles.

a few days ago, when baekhyun texted "i know the way back on my own!!!!!" from a place at which he most certainly did not. 

a few weeks ago, when baekhyun came knocking at his door: duffel bag, pathetic expression, red mark on his cheek, the whole cliche.     -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

it began as a Lost Boys homecoming and  became the home baekhyun never had. jhin was a genie because he had the magic ability to make anything enough ; sleeping bags, empty fridges, flickering lights, ancient computers. a small meat bun was suddenly big enough to rip off half if it were for jhin. baekhyun, who never did anything selfless, passed off his dick money as busking tips so he could buy bubble tea to share with jhin.                                     baekhyun, who's never been fortunate, fell down a spiked pit and struck gold.

the screen freezes again like their skin underneath the blanket. when it does that for long enough, they make up the rest of the movie themselves. baekhyun's in charge of the sound effects and jhin, the plot.

the rest of the night is more fun than when they actually had the movie playing.

it doesn’t dread on baekhyun until midnight. he’s safe at home. he doesn’t think until the darkness seeps that there’s a monster's hiding. not under his bed, but on top of another. as the newest saved contact on his phone. the newest noose around his neck; but he's safe here. he'll face his fear of the sunrise when he wakes up with jhin's hand inside his; though jhin still hasn't figured out everything else baekhyun has left unspoken. 

                 -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --    

[...]

❝ This stop is Ujangsan, Ujangsan. ❞

If Sook-Myung had heard the announcement a split second later, she would have missed her stop, or had gotten herself stuck between the subway doors.

While swallowing a yawn and rubbing her eyes, she trudged up the steps. As she had expected, teenagers were spread out all over the station, all bearing the signature piercing of their gang on their left ear.

Her plan was to become one of them by the end of the night, but a change of plans was inevitable now, for the girl felt something brush against her bag. Once realizing that the back had gotten lighter than before, she immediately turned around and raced towards the people who had her wallet. As expected, they had piercings in their left ear.

After a short chase, Sook-Myung easily cornered the scrawny thieves in a corner. ❝ You chose the wrong person to mess with, ❞ the girl growled. Thankfully, she was able to get her prized belonging back quite easily. All it took was bashing the thief’s arm with her wooden drumstick a couple of times.

When the hectic situation settled down, that’s when Sook-Myung noticed that someone was right behind her. ❝ What the fuck do you want ? ❞ The girl spat out, turning around to face the figure behind her.

"you are coming with us,” bellows a large high school senior, towering over her tiny figure, "cooperate, and we won’t have to hurt you.”

tsk, but his voice isn't quite as intimidating as baekhyun would prefer. he needs to make a mental note of that. image is everything, and baekhyun isn't having a puppet bring bad rep to his title.  soon, she's surrounded by three more boys than she's got drumsticks. it’s never pleasant, kidnapping people off streets, but recruitment ultimatums can't be given in public. the two failed thieves walk past baekhyun in shame, and baekhyun takes a good look at the faces he will forget after the next meeting. demotion is not only quality control, but also motivation for the remaining kids. this girl, on the other hand, has managed to impress and above all intrigue baekhyun, which has become the only recruitment criteria after Mildly Skilled.

as the boys close in around her, baekhyun remains in clear view, though seemingly uninterested, leaning against the subway wall and toying with the cigarette in his hand. he shoots her a single lookover (she’s surprisingly cute) and the quirk of a smile exactly like they do in the movies. god, he wishes he could watch himself right now. the mob moves exactly one, two, three seconds after baekhyun's begins to walk; it's more a power trip than an organisational tactic, but none of the kids seem to have caught on yet.

the plan is the usual plan: to accompany her to the relatively small park a block from their real headquarters. 

it should be peaceful so as to look like an Innocent Friend Group --strictly no grabbing...or groping                           (this rule got added after The Pervert Park Incident. Pervert Park isn’t                                                       in the gang anymore.) 

there won't be a single kid in sight on the fields, because it's YONGSA TERRITORY now!                           (only on tuesdays, thursdays and saturdays, actually; if they                                                hogged it up too much they could get caught by some parents.) 

@rkxjiyoon

he’d been there for over a good five hours. had spent almost his whole day there searching for books to finish up his essay and to buck up on his weaker subjects.

the library was something close to a sanctuary for jaehyun. he enjoyed being in the presence of others that studied, the ambience of it all calming. it’s enough for him to lose track of time and to find himself immersed in his work.

“oh wow,” jaehyun finds himself mumbling, butt slightly sore from having been seated for hours and eyes dry from not having shut them. he turns to look at his phone, the time glaring at his face. it takes a moment before jaehyun finally decides that it’s probably alright for him to take a short nap –– a quick nap in the library.

@rkseungyoun

he’s in his first year of high school and he’s so confused. there are too many things people expect of him already, too many things that he expects out of himself. and he’s fine with it really, he tells himself that he’s fine with how much these people want from him, that he’ll be able to deliver.

there’s this sudden thought that falls into his mind, he starts worrying if he’ll ever truly be good enough for everybody here or if they’ll just start wanting more and more from him and all jaehyun can do is give because he’s just been built that way. 

he’s sure the breaking point had been his grade in biology. how it had slipped from a 94 to an 85 and his teacher had given him the most disapproving look, one that read ‘how did you let it get this far?’. and jaehyun had felt horrible, had no idea how he’d dropped 9 marks in total.

in truth that should have been fine, nine marks should have been nothing to a student but to jaehyun it meant a lot, somehow it held more meaning when it was jaehyun letting other people down.