#!nefarious

OPINION ON EVERY MAIN CHARACTER

[Pt: Fellow !cu/punctuationverse fan or whatveer its called

opinion on every main character]

Idk which characters count as main and which don't, and there's a lot of them, so I'll list the ones I remember off the top of my head, hope that's ok!

Nef: entertaining and also has lore so that's cool. Simultaneously wholesome and fucking terrifying. Also he was revealed to be a cannibal while this post was in my drafts and honestly I think I like them more now. Shoutout for jumpstarting the lore

Unskilled: at first they seemed somewhat anticlimactic but I grew fond of their attitude now that we know, uh, everything else that was revealed about them. It makes a lot more sense now for sure. I really wanna see where their story goes and they also make me sad what do you mean they were suicidal at the age of 6

Prof: stuff is going on.... they're interesting. Very interesting. Studying them

Terro: GAME-BREAKING BUG?? GAME-BREAKING BUG!?!? [game-breaking bug?? Game-breaking bug!?!?]. Yknow if I had written this part a day before I did it would have been something like 'silly moth child' but now there's Things.

Select: I want to protect them. I have thoughts about him but I can't put them into words, know that I do care about its lore. Bonus points for having a plush, they're great

Mini: they deserved better but everyone here does tbh. How did it get into the game. Why's the game slowly destroying them. Is is even meant to exist?

Vance: love to have an in-universe conspiracy theorist. I get a feeling that they might become a little obsessed [little obsessed] with their theories in the future

Cmd: is he a main character if most of what he did was glitch through walls. But like in a plot significant way. He does Know Things, however, so he'll definitely be very very important in the future (I might be forgetting some important things he did besides getting Prof and Mini into the void. I'm not writing things down and I have memory issues ok?)

Weather: what are you made of.

Heavy: Terro

Engineer: [TBD]

Spy: Sheriff

Sniper: [TBD]

Soldier: [TBD]

Medic: [TBD]

Scout: [TBD]

Demoman: [TBD]

Adonis: POW! *shoots Terro* YOU ARE DEAD!

Terro: I AM DEAD.

Adonis: eheheheheh.

Sheriff: *approaching* HOUH! The Terro is dead!

Terro: Yes. I AM DEAD.

Sheriff: WHY is the Terro dead?

Adonis: I dunno

Terro: I think it was—

Sheriff & Adonis: Shh! You are dead!

Terro: Oki *no-clips into backrooms*

Unskilled: What’s up, ya nerds? Who’s up for a— AH. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL JUST HAPPENED??

Sheriff & Adonis: The Terro is dead!

Unskilled: The Terro is dead???

Sheriff: Correct!

*Unskilled wins Who Wants to be a Millionaire*

Sheriff: So, did you see the murderer?

Unskilled & Adonis: No, sorry mate.

Sheriff: I will find him, I will CAPTURE him, & no one will ever die again!

(Sitcom applause.mp3)

Unskilled: Ah, well that’s nice.

Adonis: Damn proud right now.

Suddenly Hashbang.

Hashbang: ATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN-TION! THE TERRO IS DEAD!

Sheriff: We know.

Hashbang: Who killed him‽

Sheriff: We don’t know.

Hashbang: I will find clues! *faceplants & sniffs around* WHaT’s thAt? *picks up gun* A weapon? *Pointing it at everyone else* That thing must be why ThE TeRRo IS DEaD!

Sheriff, Adonis, & Unskilled: THE TERRO IS DEAD???

Hashbang: YES! *Ace Attorney intensifies* HE DIED.

Sheriff, Adonis, & Unskilled: :000

Select driving for some ungodly reason: INCOMIIIIING

Prof crashes into Hashbang & gets out of the ambulance.

Prof: MOVE, NOW!

*kys*

Terro, A C C E N D I N G: AHAHHAHAHAA

*The Terro is dead*

Prof: In my medical opinion; THE TERRO IS DEAD!!

Unskilled: Prof, what happened?

Prof: in my Prof-essional opinion? *Phoenix Wright brand desk abuse + Johnny Test whip crack* THE HEAVY WAS KÏÏLLED.

Adonis: Oh Devs.

Prof: I don’t think it’s anything to worry about.

Unskilled: Well, now what?

Nefarious: CLIPPITY CLOP, MOTHERFUCKERSSSS!! BOOM!

Sheriff: Oh, come on…

Nefarious: LOOKITDIS! The freakin’ Terro’s dead!

…

What’dyou think of that?

…

Uh-

Sheriff: Yes, yes — Nef?

Nefarious: Yea?-

Sheriff: GO HOME.

Select waving from a car.

Nefarious: AH, COME ON! PFFFFT FREAKIN’ UNBELIEVABLE, sEriously, you all SUCK.

Select crashes the car.

Sheriff: Ok, let’s get back to the (exclamation) POINT.

Terro: *pokes Terro with a stick* I think Terro is dead.

Everyone but Terro: THE TERRO IS DEAD‽‽‽

Prof: NEFARIOUS, I WILL HEAL YOU— *fucking explodes*

Terro: Oh, seriously‽ Who killed Terro‽

Statalus: it was MEH.

:00

Statalus: Yes! I did it like this! *Yeetus Deletuses Unskilled* WHOOP-DE-DOOOO!!!

Adonis, Terro, & Sheriff all poking Unskilled’s leftover code with sticks.

Status: That’s a joke, lads.

(Sitcom laughter.mp3)

Statalus: It was y- HIM. *pointing at Adonis*

Adonis & Sheriff: >:00

Adonis: How did you know?

Statalus: I didn’t! That was a joke, tOo.

Adonis evilly laughing as Statalus dies from KPP.

Adonis: That’s right, it was me!

Sheriff: You monster!

Terro: But WHYYYYYYY??

Adonis: ‘Cuz you’re fat, boi! & another thing; you’re ugly.

Terro: ADONIS STOP

Adonis: You are a whole herd of ugly. Dumb as a box of rocks. *I couldn’t make the rest out.*

Terro: ADONIS, YOU ARE SO MEAN!! YOU’RE NOT FUNNY.

Sheriff: (…It’s tradition.)

Terro: ADONIS.

Adonis: Aw, dammit Terro, fuck off! You are dead.

Terro: No, you! POW! *shoots Adonis* HA-HA! YOU ARE DEAD!! Not big surprise.

Sheriff: Well, that was idiotic. Off to hang myself! WATCH & LEaR- *the Sheriff is dead*

Terro: I am alive!.. Tis nice. :)

…

Mini: It was Vance.

Nefarious: It was Vance.

Boss: It was Vance.

Vance:

Vance: …fuck.

oh I forgot to answer this but THAT'S SO BITTERSWEET.

Nefarious: Doesn't work with getting out of speeding tickets, though.