#!mywork

warnings for all: not completely proof read but wanted to answer this prompt asap!! i'm half asleep it's 3am pls also all gender neutral!

┋bang chan ┋

context: grocery store is never fun, especially when your boyfriend doesn't know how hard it can be for you. new!relationship, domestic bliss grocery shopping for a night in

warnings: slight ableism??? before he knows??? idk, chan a bit spicy with his words so not complete fluff my b, some cussing, not the fluffiest pls im sorry idk what HAPPENED

word count: .6k

chan grunts at you, eyes rolling, "i told you it's the wrong one you dumb dumb. "

you look down at the japanese curry powder, trying to make sense of the words written before you. you haven't been with chan for long, but he's treated you better than anyone you've ever met. he's kind, giving and always knows how to make you feel better. he knows that you're happier when it rains, he knows that you get angry whenever you lose a game, he loves that you always defeat him at uno and enjoys how you make a week long parade about it. he already loves you but definitely doesn't know it yet.

there is one thing you're still trying to gauge about chan is how sometimes he can shoot first and ask questions later, and this is one of those moments.

chan frowns, pointing at the curry packet in your hand. "this is the spicy one."

"i'm sorry." you say in a low tone, still trying to read the packet but the font is harder to read, "they look the same."

chan snatches the packet from your hand, placing it back next to the seemingly same ones. "well maybe if you read it you properly for once. i had the runs for like 2 days last time. you know me and spicy no agree."

"i can't.... sometimes."

chan turns to you. "huh?"

you take in a deep breath and speak fast, "i have dyslexia."

"what?" he questions confused.

it's then when the penny drops after a moment of silence. realization a wave over him, all the times he told you to read properly, how many times he made tut noises at your replies not having complete context and how he would grunt when you didn't comprehend something.

"why didn't you tell me? there's nothing wrong with that...?" he prods, gaze gentle towards you.

you fumble with your hands, picking at the skin at the sides of your thumb, your mind trying to find what to say. "i dunno."

he sounds so apologetic when he eventually speaks, he wonders how he could have been stupid. it makes sense. all the times you've told him about your ex and how he called you stupid and dumb for not reading well, making fun of you and saying you just don't pay attention. "i made fun of you so much... wow i'm a dick-

"no it's okay" you interrupt him, a small smile on your lips not wanting him to be hurt.

chan purses his lips while taking your hands in his. he looks at your eyes, his own intense and apologetic. "no- it's not okay, i make fun of you so much for thinking you just didn't pay attention, shit, i'm sorry. i joke all the time about how your brain is always else where."

and with that chan knows that he definitely could have picked up the pieces earlier, that you said it to him, without words. "i'm just... fuck i'm sorry."

"i just you know with my ex they-"

chan pulls you in for a tight hug, as if hushing the words you were about to spill, your glasses pushed against your eyes but you don't mind. he smells like fresh baby powder, his own scent you love mixing in with the clothes he's wearing. you know chan's going to make up for it and that he'll do everything to make you feel better. because you love him too, you just don't know it yet either.

﹋﹋﹋

┋changbin ┋

context: changbin loves working out and you love watching him, even if you don't think he doesn't know. freshly known feelings, uni!au, living together in dorm (i know you said !boyfriend but this was too good not to write hehe)

warnings: CHANGBIN SHAMELESSLY FLIRTING ACK, implications of taking a relationship further (physically), voyeur reader lmao

word count: .5k

you turn your gaze over to your friend, housemate or whatever you two had going on was called. you'd never really thought of changbin as someone you'd like, his gentle an soft nature was a contrast to the man currently a few metres away from you. weights in hand and grunts slipping from his mouth. you lean your head back to get a better angle, the veins on his arm revealing themselves. you knew he liked you and you liked him, but neither of you would dare to open that pandoras box. well, not until tonight.

it's a moment later that changbin stops his routine, almost meeting your stare. you raise your brows, attention turning back to the laptop in front of you. what on earth was i doing? you think, pretending to type something into the computer.

"thirsty?" he asks you, pretending he didn't noticed your eyes on him every now and then for the last half hour.

you turn your attention to him "wha?"

he laughs into his chest, stretching out his arms, "you have drool on the side of your mouth."

"i do- i do not!" you say slamming the laptop down, folding your arms on your chest knowing you've been caught.

changbin laughs, sitting down on the couch next to you, "didn't know i owned a dog."

you had no idea he could be this cheeky, making fun of you for simply watching him. after all, you were perving in a sense.

"don't make fun of me! i know i was... watching."

a smile dances on his lips, knowing that you can be sensitive to these things. "i'm sorry." he almost sounds apologetic... almost. "but... it's just too good to catch you out." he says in a slow almost seemingly mocking way.

"stop it." you mumble, facing the other way. "you know i have issues with... bringing this stuff up."

changbin tugs on your ear to gain your attention, feeling bad for making you feel slightly uncomfortable. but hey, you were the one watching. he smiles and says, "i know i know, i'm just teasing. i'm really sorry."

"i know but... please don't, this is hard for me."

"okay okay," he whines, gently lacing his fingers in yours, testing the waters to see if you'd be okay with this affection. "i promise i won't make fun of you, but if you wanna watch feel free to, don't have to be shy about it."

a blush dances across your cheeks and ears, your tummy suddenly feeling a knot of embarrassment grow. "changbiiiin." you groan, planting your face into the couch cushion.

"okay maybe i lied, i'll definitely enjoy making fun of you."

﹋﹋﹋

┋hyunjin ┋

context: you hate feet. hyunjin thinks it's funny. established!relationship, living together

warnings: obvi mentions of feet?? mentions of vomit

word count: .6k

hyunjin knew you hated feet, just how they looked, how they acted and gripped on the damn floor whenever someone would walk bare foot. hyunjin loved walking around the house barefoot, and it sometimes made you feel woozy, just the image of your own feet touching the floor... imagine. you shivered at the thought, sitting down on the couch next to your boyfriend, his feet dangling off the edge of the couch.

you pat your legs, instructing him wordlessly to lay on your lap. he complies without a thought, scooching back and nestling his head into your soft legs. he let's out a gentle "mm" as he settles in. "soft" he coos, rubbing his head a few times before turning his attention back to his switch.

after another episode of your favourite show, hyunjin suddenly brings his feet up, inspecting one of them. "i think i have glass in this one."

"do you need to do that here?" you say in a tone, eyes avoiding the grippers in sight.

"nah can you just check this one?" he says with difficulty, throwing his foot back towards your face. if you weren't so grossed out you'd probably be impressed by his flexibility.

"hyunjin please--" you swat away his foot with your phone, pushing yourself back into the couch.

"nah see in the big toe right here."

"hyunjin! you know i hate feet stop!"

he struggles, folding his body further to get his left foot near you, "babe just look here near the nail."

and that's when you feel a lump in your throat, nearly retching at the sight. the rice dish you had earlier suddenly feeling not so settled.

"oh shit." hyunjin says in a shock turning his attention to you, hearing your strangled noise. "are you okay?"

"no i'm not okay, go away." you say behind your hand.

shit, he knows he did wrong. his seemingly funny joke was definitely taken too far. he feels bad, real bad. he knew you didn't like feet but not this much. it'd never really come into question the time you'd been together, but god he had no idea.

"jeez i'm sorry." he's unsure where to place his hands and fumbles, words not forming correctly.

you sit in silence for a moment before regaining your thoughts. "don't. fucking. do. that."

hyunjin's eyes are pleading, the guilt in his face almost makes you not want to get him back but then realise you can use this to your advantage. you look over at the massage oils on the table and back at him. "i have an idea."

and you know he'll do whatever it takes. he still had glass in his foot, but that wasn't important right now.

------

┋felix ┋

context: felix thinks your tummy is cute, but you're just not used to it.

warnings: mentions of weight, body issues, tight clothing, BUT ITS FLUFF I PROMISEEEE, felix just a silly soft goose

word count: .6k

"come out please." felix begs, head leaning against the door.

you're sitting in the bathroom on the floor, dressed in nothing but your boxer underwear and a tight bed shirt, felix's bed shirt. you can feel the anxiety seeping into your chest, the weight of reality hitting you. you and your boyfriend had been together for only a month, but this was the first night you were staying at his house. it was on a whim, since most of the trains and buses had stopped running. and of course, you had nothing to wear. so there you were, tight shirt and all. you've never been uncomfortable with your body, if anything you love your body. but for some reason the way that felix talked about your stomach irked you. maybe he meant it as a joke? what did he mean? either way you were upset and needed space for a moment.

"please, i didn't mean it like that." felix sighs against the door, "it's soft and i love it."

you cast a sad expression towards the door. still unwavering from your position. why do you have anxiety now about this? all he did was grab your tummy and tell you it's soft like a kitten belly, or how it reminds him of those marshmallows that fold and how much he loves it because it's you, and he loves you.

you hear nothing but the cracking of a knee, felix bending down to put his fingers through the gap of the door underneath. he splays his fingers like a cat trying to get in the bathroom, darting against the tiles.

"lemme in!" he chimes, grunting to get his fingers further in. "i'll get in either way!" he jokes, using both of his hands under door to attack. it makes you laugh. it reminds me of those videos of cats wanting to get into the bathroom, or videos of racoons grabbing food.

"am i close?" he jokes, moving his hands back and forth.

you groan, stifling a laugh as you get up to open the door. "not even." you say, being met with pleading eyes. you look down at him, his hands still pretending to search where the door once was.

but he suddenly swoops you into a hug, hands around your waist, his head pressed into your soft chest, enjoying the smell of his shirt mixing in with your scent.

you relinquish any negative thoughts you have, melting into the hug. "i know you didn't mean it like that but, i think i'm just nervous... because it's you."

he pulls back, arms still wrapped round your waist, probably a bit too tight. "it wasn't a joke, i do love it." his eye are filled with nothing but love and adoration for you, your body an your mind.

"just... choose different words, please... i'm not a roll of marshmallows."

felix pulls back suddenly before gently pressing a swift kiss to your lips. "tastes sweet." he retorts about your statement, ignoring your words before kissing you again.

"i'm-seri-ous." you say between kisses, you feel his his hands digging into your hips.

instead of stopping, he grins, love apparent in his eyes. "my marshmallow."

you roll your eyes, a bit of anxiety still in your throat but knowing he adores marshmallows, you figure it's okay for now.

﹋﹋﹋

┋jisung ┋

context: a park date is cute until you get attacked my a crow, jisung think's it's funny. established!relatonship

warnings: jisung being a weenie, swearing

word count: .5k

the ground collides with your chest, the mud clouding your vision and your new shirt you brought for the date probably ruined. yep, i definitely tripped and yes it was embarrassing. you think, shame in your chest. of all the days, why your one year anniversary?

all you hear is the cackle behind you getting louder, sharp inhales of breath echoing in your ears. jisung has no shame, actively laughing at you stacking it to the ground.

"ahaha! the crow!!" he gurgles still, bending forwards over the picnic blanket, almost choking on his spit.

"jisung!" you yell, getting to your feet, seeing the mess on the front of you. that fucking crow, why did it choose me?

"jisung!" you yell louder, stomping over to the blanket, definitely covered in mud, dripping behind you as you walk.

"i'm sorry babe i'm-" he says between breathes.

you grunt before wiping the mud from your chest, still feeling it covering half of your face. "it's not funny."

"it fucking is."

jisung's laughs come to a halt as he realised you're upset upset, not just whining like you usually do. he notices how your eyes are suddenly pooling with wells. he stands to his feet and gently holds out his hands, "baby-"

"no!" you grumble, pulling your arms away, tears rolling down your cheek. "i just bought this top. now it's ruined." your dejected tone unsettles jisung, instantly feeling bad for making fun of you.

he says nothing, confused on how to react. but he waits patiently, allowing you to let out your feelings. he's always been good at this, always been patient with you.

after a breath you look back at him, red rings dancing around your eyes.

he smirks as he walks over to the mud and plainly sits down in it as if it what he was meant to do all along. you let out a small laugh, your hands wiping the rest of the mud from your face.

"what?" he asks plainly, as if nothing is weird. he grabs a handful of the mud before pressing it to his shirt, and then another handful to his hair, rubbing it in. "what's funny?"

you laugh behind your mud covered hand walking over to him. he smiles up at you like a puppy, knowing that he's succeeded in making you feel better.

and there he is, completely covered in mud, way more than you are and in that moment you fall just a little bit more in love with him. you lean down and press a gentle but muddy kiss onto his lips.

he stares up at you with nothing else to say, just sitting in the mud. you decide to join him, plopping down next to him, hand in hand as you both just sit in silence and completely covered in mud.

with jisung you didn't always needs words, sometimes the things he did for you were enough.

﹋﹋﹋

┋lee know ┋

context: you're getting ready to go out with friends, but your hair has other ideas, established!relationship, living together.

warnings/other: kisses??? idk, cuss words

word count: .5k

"it's not working!" you huff, re-straightening the side of your bangs for the 6th time. minho was confused at first, wondering why you're so upset over something trivial and small from his point of view. but when he looks up from his phone to see you struggling, his left hand still lazily patting one of his cats. he speaks without thinking,

"it's definitely like a pigs tail." he chuckles, looking back at his phone. in his mind, he assumes that he was just making a light hearted joke, thinking it was cute the way you got so upset over something he coined as small. plus, pig tails are very cute if you think about it.

it wasn't until you made a little sob that he noticed how you were actually feeling. you stare in the mirror, realizing it in fact does look like a pigs tail.

"baby-" he let's out a small but gentle sigh, "i was joking,"

"no you weren't. it... does look like a pig tail." you say between a small dejected sob, lips curled down and hands at your side as you avoid the mirror.

"let me help?" he says so gently as he approaches the bathroom door. instead of letting him help, you just melt into his chest immediately, your sobs muffled by his shirt. "i look like shit." you say defeated.

he lets out a light laugh, kissing the top of your head a few times, "you never look like shit, you know... even with your pig tail."

you step back, immediately hitting the tight muscles of his chest with both of your fists, "fuck off i swear." you talk through your teeth, still frustrated but feeling the urge to laugh in your throat.

"there you are," he says pleased at your spice, fighting with you to place a kiss on your temple, your hand starts pushing on his jaw, his lips puckered and ready. "c'mere." he says through your fingers, still pushing his head towards you, his hands gripping at your neck. "let me-- love you."

after a few minutes of roughhouse struggle, you push him back, feeing slightly better. it's in this moment you realize that you in fact do not enjoy asking anyone for help. but you speak, dejected tone apparent. "yeah... please help."

and nothing else is said while he fixes your hair, gently pressing small kisses on your cheeks as he does so. he knows he can sometimes say things without thinking, but he also knows that you sometimes enjoy just as much as he does. it's why you love him and why you two work so well together. after a few minutes he steps back to admire his masterpiece, a triumphant smile on his lips. "hmm," he ponders, "i liked the pig tail better."

"oi, don't start again you little shit" you say as you begin chasing after him, giggles dancing in with his own as he runs down the hall, nearly slipping on the rug. "get back here! you're in for it!"

﹋﹋﹋

┋seungmin┋

context: seungmin needs to shut his mouth sometimes, even if he doesn't know it. established!relationship, living together

warnings: seungmin being a spicy bitch, some playful physical aggression, kissing

word count: .5k

seungmin has you completely pinned under him on the couch as he covers you with kisses, not relinquishing his hold. "how many times do i have to say it?"

you grunt at the fact that he's weirdly strong in these situations, and as much as you struggle against his hold he's just completely powering over you. just the other day you were the one that had to help him open a jar. but thats besides the point. here seungmin is, currently trying to wiggle his way out of the fact that he took a joke too far. you're determined not to let him get away that easy.

you struggle once more against his hold, your legs flailing underneath him but he's just too damn strong.

he lets out a struggled breath, still above you. his hair falling gently from his face, "isn't sorry enough?"

you turn your head to the side, bottom lip pouting. "no."

"baby-"

you tut at him, tone almost darted, "don't baby me! you've lost your rights."

a gentle grin finds itself to dance over seungmin's face, he likes it when you fight back. he likes it when you put him in his place but still give him enough wiggle room to feel in charge.

"okay," he says with raised brows, "you win. i apologise."

you realise this is the perfect opportunity to get him back, for him making that stupid joke about something he knew you were insecure about.

"oh, whats this? kim seungmin, apologising, what was that?" you speak sarcastically. you're still under his hold, but you'll let it slide for now. "sorry i didn't quite catch that after you made me feel like shit for an entire hour. repeat?"

"i... apologise. i took it too far and i'm sorry."

you feel your chest rise, suddenly enjoying the power that seungmin has given to you. it takes a lot for him to admit he's wrong or that he's done wrong, this is just so damn satisfying.

"actually..." he trails off, letting your hands free a second before quickly grabbing the back of your neck. the kiss he planted on you was fast, and before you knew it you were laying back down on the couch, head dizzy from the sudden kiss, "you can't just make me forgive you with kisses." you speak in a semi-daze.

seungmin presses a kiss to your cheek and then a few more to your lips, the taste sweeter everytime. "i can, actually."

yeah, he's absolutely right. wait, what were we arguing about?

﹋﹋﹋

┋jeongin┋

context: jeongin fucked up, and he wants to make it better. fresh!relationship

warnings: none? kissing maybes, TOO MUCH CUTE

word count: .5k

it only took jeongin about half an hour to attempt to make it up to you.

sometimes being with jeongin was hard, as you both communicated in very different ways, it definitely was something you needed to work on. though, the one thing you loved about him is the absolute time and effort he put into making everything just perfect for you. when it came to you, everything he did for you was worth it.

after taking a walk to calm your thoughts, you realized you were still frazzled from the way jeongin teased you and how you ended up crying, resulting in him just left behind in a confused state. sometimes it took a while for the penny to drop with him, but once he got it, he really got it.

you step through the front door of his house, gently removing your sandals to be met with the sound of jeongin jumping up from the couch, hands out in a display. "ta-da!" he yells, it startles you.

you turn to meet eyes with your boyfriend, his face with a stupid grin slapped across it.

"what is-" and that's when you notice the many items splayed across the ground. there's a few towels on the lounge table, a tub of what seems to be hot soapy water, a box of facemasks and some nail polish next to it. the lighting is low and your favourite soundtrack is playing. you notice the scent in the room, jasmine tea, your favourite.

jeongin takes a deep breath in before showcasing his wares. "salon de jeongin"

"babe i-"

he steps forward, taking your hands in his before guiding you to sit down. "cmon" he coaxes gently, his beautiful dark eyes watching your every step. you say nothing as you follow him, unsure of what's happening.

as if he knows you're going to speak, he places a gentle kiss on your forehead. "i'm sorry."

you marvel at the sight in front of you once more. the fact that he built you a whole salon in his living room within thirty minutes is mind blowing. he knows your favourite scent, your favourite songs and all the products you use. you didn't even realize he had those.

you're still at a loss for words, unsure of where to put your hands or body. jeongin just points to the chair, silly grin still plastered on his face and eyes wide.

you sit down in the chair, eyes darting to jeongin. "does it cost extra for shellac on my nails?"

jeongin pouts in thought, "just a kiss."

"i can do that." you say back at him. and that's all it takes, you know you'll talk later about this and how you can communicate better but this... this was enough for now. more than enough.

"actually," jeongin ponders before leaning so damn close to your face, "i think it's about 4 kisses."

-

you remember the first time you met seungmin. it was in year 11 high school, a while back now. you remember how it was raining the day you met, you remember how he was sitting in your allocated seat (the back row on the left). you remember how it was science class with the teacher who had bad teeth. you remember his bug eyes wide while scrolling through his phone and his fringe sitting on the top of his square glasses. you thought he was cute, in his own world mindlessly focused on his phone.

and you especially remember the way his head turned slightly as he was looking at his phone, bottom lip gently being chewed on while he was deep in thought.

but all of that seems distant now when you can feel the lump in your throat, almost like you're going to cough. "i think i like you?" you say in a confused tone, basically like a question you probably meant to think and not say out loud.

it had been about 7 years since you'd known seungmin, best friends ever since. he had been there through everything. your break ups, your ups and downs and you for his. you'd seen each other naked, seen the worst of each other but also the best. you had grown together as friends but more importantly as individuals. he cooked and you cleaned, it was a give and take.

seungmin had recently broken up with his partner of 2 years, and for some reason everything about them gave you the irk. the way they looked at him, the way they talked to him and especially the way they kissed him. every time you witnessed the displays of affection, a low twinge would sink into your chest. 'i just don't like them.' you'd say whenever seungmin confronted you about your attitude.

"you what?" seungmin laughs lightly, attention turning from the tv to you, chowing down on the kebab he had bought after you and your friends had a night out.

you take a sip of the coke in your hand, "yeah, i dunno."

seungmin laughs once more before realising that you might be serious. his expression turns sour, lip curling upward, "psh, you wish." he jokes, trying to brush off the probably drunk talk.

you needed to try something.

"seungmin, hey." you try to say softly, but it comes out more like a demand for attention. "i'm gonna try something."

he turns his gaze to you, eyebrows raised and mouth probably still full of kebab and kind of looking like a chipmunk. you stare at his lips, and you feel like he knows what you're going to do in a way. he swallows, but does nothing, just sits still and waits for your next move.

your kiss is gentle, lips just barely pressing to his. but within a moment you feel him press back against you, almost aggressively. it sends jolts down to your lower stomach, strokes of tingles running up and down your body. you can feel the way he's asking for permission to enter, just to taste a bit more.

so you allow him entry, feeling the softness of his breath against your lips as he changes directions. you let out a soft whine as he kisses you deeper, his body now aiming to lean over yours.

"'fuck.'" you pull back before he can deepen the kiss that's possibly gone too far. he's left slightly confused, but continues to take another bite of his kebab, as if nothing happened.

you groan in annoyance, arms falling beside you, coke spilling on the ground. "fuck, i do like you."

he chuckles, definitely not even worried about what just happened, "makes sense why you didn't like my ex, how long?"

-

you didn't talk for a day after, trying to process everything that happened. you left his house without a single thought, fleeing the crime scene you left behind.

it was a waiting game, seeing who would cave an text first. it wasn't like you hadn't kissed him before, a few times over the years - just as an affectionate gesture of how much you loved your best friends (which mostly happened when you were drunk).

as if ripping you from your thoughts you hear your phone buzzing on your lap.

"shit." you mumble under your breath, looking at the flashing photo of seungmin. it was one he sent you back in your days at university together when he did a charity event for kids. extra credit and all.

you let out a defeated groan, flapping your hands on the couch. you let out a held breath, composing yourself in time to answer the phone, you know that he'll just call ten more times if you don't answer, he always did.

"what?" you say stern, it was common for you to answer the phone like this.

"what?" seungmin mocks you before speaking plainly, "what you doin' tomorrow?"

you get up from the couch, walking towards your bedroom just to get your body to move. "nothing, day off."

"let's go out."

-

so yeah, this is how you ended up in this situation. you had been out a few times, just getting dinner but everything seemed normal at first? he hadn't made a move, just bought you dinner and taken you out more than usual. he didn't hug you like he used to, if anything he was keeping his physical distance. you were beginning to think he just wanted to forget about it, the kiss and the whole damn night of flirting you seemed to forget you did. it had been a month since this mess, a damn month.

you had spoken to a few of your other friends about it but no one had answers. anxiety welled up in your chest anytime you wanted to bring it up, knowing that the answer might not be the one you want.

it was getting to the point where you could barely sleep.

-

it was about the seventh time seungmin had invited you out on a 'date'. the clouds were hovering in the sky, looming over as if a bad omen. you two had decided to go and get some new clothes, but ended up with nothing but bubble tea and a few snacks, a recurring theme in your friendship all these years.

seungmin was talking about a new game he was playing, speaking intently about how his kill count was better than the rest of your friend group.

you looked down at his hand, just hanging by his side idly. you wanted to hold it, to feel his hands in yours. you were desperate to know what it was like with these new found feelings. to get even just a taste of the feeling you had that night you kissed.

so in step, you muster the courage to do so. you grab one of his fingers as you both continued to talk, hoping he would think nothing of it. unfortunately you were met by a jolt, seungmin pulling his hand back within a second.

he pretended it didn't happen, continuing to talk about whatever he was just now.

you stop in your tracks. it only took him a moment to notice, his expression blank as he turns to you. "you good?" he questions, taking a sip of his bubble tea.

"is it me?" you spit, anger laced in your tone.

"what?"

"what the fuck are we doing seungmin? is it me?"

he lets out a breath, rolling his eyes, as if he know exactly what he was doing. "i don't know what you mean."

he was playing dumb. he knows exactly what he did, he knows exactly how you feel. he's the one that asked you out, he's the one who asked to take this further.

"we go on dates, well," you huff, "not even-"

"and?" he questions interrupting you, feigning ignorance slapped on his face.

"are you... embarrassed of this? of what we're doing? are you just doing this not to hurt me? the fuck is wrong with you?"

he licks his lips, eyes avoiding you at all costs. "i genuinely don't know what you mean."

you scoff, the audacity of him taking you by surprise. "don't play dumb."

he says nothing, eyes downcast and guilty.

"you don't just- just kiss me back, then call me and ask me out and leave me hanging for a fucking month, a month seungmin! if you don't have feelings for me then fucking tell me. i'm not a little fucking baby, i can handle it." you feel tears well in your eyes, your tone accusatory and pointed.

''it's not that-"

you control yourself, resisting the urges to cry, "oh what is it then? you just enjoying playing with me like you played with your ex for those last six months?"

seungmin juts his jaw, anger sudden and present in his expression. "that's unfair."

you smile in disbelief, tongue running over your teeth, feeling almost insane at this point. "it's not."

you both stand in silence, trying to grasp at the right words to say but you're just hurt. so fucking hurt and you don't know if you'll ever be able to recover from this. seungmin knows you hate dishonesty even if it hurts, but he can't muster the courage to tell you what's really bothering him. you're surprised by his next move.

"it's you!" he blurts out, definitely yelling at this point.

"oh so it is me? i'm the fucking problem?! are you that embarrassed to be with me? do you just...not love me? ugh, fuck you seung-"

he raises his free hand forward in submission, trying to rectify his point, "it's because it's you. it's just... you." his expression turns somber as he speaks.

you frown, mouth open ready to say something, nothing comes out but, "elaborate."

seungmin sighs before throwing his bubble tea now empty into his bag. "it's just..." he trails off. you give him a moment. he had always been like this, not knowing the right words to say.

"i've been having trouble with... this." he speaks slowly, his eyes avoiding your own, gesturing between the two of you.

"obviously," you say in a snarky tone.

seungmin points to the set of benches near by. you walk before him, sitting down on the bench. he slowly sits next to you, little too close for the moment, his thigh is basically melded against your own. you were used to it after all, knowing each other all these years. closeness wasn't something you were afraid of but now, it made you uneasy.

"i know you like to interrupt but just... hear me out, okay?"

your lips curl to the side as you fold your arms over your chest at his remark, he's right though.

you just nod, willing to hear what your best friend has to say. any answer is better than not knowing what the hell was going on.

"that night you kissed me," he begins, looking out to the dark clouds, "it honestly... i don't even know what to think of it. i kept replaying it in my head, it's not like we haven't kissed before you know, and the fact that i kissed you back..."

you nod at him, understanding what he's beginning to say. fuck, he's going to do it. he's going to break my fucking heart.

he sighs, his hands fumbling in front of him, "it kind of makes sense doesn't it? you know my ex and i... i was completely empty for those last six months. they started to, i guess, notice things about you."

you frown in thought trying to put a finger on what he was talking about, arms still folded in front of you.

he starts speaking again after taking in a deep breath. "there was a night before we broke up. they couldn't stand you, couldn't stand the relationship we had and how long we had been friends. i just assumed it was because they were insecure, not because of us. but i think-" he pauses for a moment, gathering his thoughts, "i think they knew you liked me and that i favoured you over them. maybe they just saw it before we did."

you speak after a moment of silence, "before saw what? our feelings?"

"yeah," seungmin laughs, his head jerking to the side, "sexual tension so thick you could cut it with knife apparently."

you hum, kind of picking up the pieces now, sensing the direction it's going. "alright..."

he stands up and speaks plainly while walking in a circle, feet kicking some rocks on the ground, "you know every time you've stayed over, prior to you know, that night. i honestly just..."

"seungmin-" you interrupt, standing from your seat.

"let me finish." he says sternly, eyes still wondering around anywhere but you. "after we broke up, i started noticing things about you. like... things. maybe even before."

you hum, sucking on your top lip, listening intently to what he's saying. you're doing your best not to interrupt, words practically wanting to jump out of your mouth but you know he needs some time to speak carefully, to form the words he needs.

"you remember when you stayed at mine the night after i broke up with my ex?"

you think hard, remembering how confused he was that it happened. he never told you the exact details of what went on but you know if it was necessary to tell you he would of.

"mhm..." you nod, letting him continue.

"i thought, i thought i was just looking for comfort. you're my best fucking friend, and yeah, that's what best friend's do you know? and what i was thinking about you was just... nah. i hated myself for it, hated that i looked at you differently. hated that my ex knew exactly what i was thinking without me even knowing. it just all makes sense but, but now. what they said made so much sense, everything i do ends up with you, it always has."

he takes another breath in, hands messily pushing his hair back. he looks frustrated, like he's saying the wrong words.

"when you were in my bed that night, in my t-shirt, the one you always wear when you come over. saying you like how it smells every damn time you wear it, it drives me insane."

seungmin sits back down, his eyes tense and searching yours. it's silent for a moment. he nudges your leg, "help me out, please?"

you laugh, grin spreading across your face, kindness in your tone as you speak, "i thought you told me not to speak."

he was just scared. just scared of this. scared of what this would become. and you were too, he just showed it differently than you did.

he smiles softly, realising that he should have come to you, talk to instead of pushing you away. he huffs, "am i making any sense?"

"yeah, not really."

he sighs, rubbing his face in his hands. "i'm sorry. i'm just not sure how to go about this, and i just, feel like i'm doing something wrong if you want to touch me. i know you want to take this further and trust me i do as well but i'm just so fucking nervous. i don't know why, i've seen you naked a bunch of times and not cared."

"here," you say holding out your hand, "gimme."

he's hesitant for a bit, turning his eyes to ogle down at your hand, nerves building in his body. as soon as he feels his skin come in contact with yours, all the blood in his body seems to streamline straight to his hands, fingers alighting when he softly presses his palm into yours, carefully melding your fingers together.

"this okay?" you question, searching his face for answers.

"yeah... yeah it is."

"you could have just told me." you scoff, "you're such a bitch when it comes to your feelings."

he laughs at your remark but doesn't retort, just stands up pulling you with him. "where we going? we're not done!"

you walk hand in hand for a bit, checking in with him every now and then to see if he's okay with this. you don't want him to jolt again, nightmare fuel that was. you both agree that you'll talk more in depth when you get back his, knowing it's important to communicate since this is a seven year friendship, not just someone you had a meet-cute with. you end up talking about his game again, and notice how he squeezes you hand slightly whenever he gets excited.

-

the clouds had finally let out the rain they had been holding in since the morning, it throws you back to the day you met seungmin. but all of this, it still feels surreal, fairies dancing in your heart making it thump with excitement.

it didn't take long until you're both splayed out in the back seat of his car, your body on top of his. not one of you dare speak a word, not wanting to ruin this perfect moment of white noise from the rain mixed in with the sound of your own heated breaths.

you had so many questions, so many things you needed to know. when did he start? did he always like me?

but for now, with his soft large lips against your neck, trailing their way to your jaw slowly and precisely, you knew it was all you needed.

it was always you, always had been.

-

a/n: I THINK I WANNA DO A PART 2???????? HELLA maybe ill make it smutty