#!closed

...MM.

Undyne paused. That wasn't really an answer. Maybe she shouldn't have asked.

"Is it something that, uh... caught you off-guard?"

Papyrus hesitated, a frown crossing his features.

I... WOULD LOVE TO SAY SO. BUT THAT WOULD BE A LIE.

"Oh."

She watched him fiddle with his phone absentmindedly. She felt a twisting feeling in her gut, like something was wrong. Like Papyrus was about to try and do something stupid again like last night.

"Hey."

Papyrus looked up as she walked up to him, clanking along in her armor. She put a hand on his shoulder and leaned in pressing her forehead against his. Papyrus was startled and confused for a moment, before he recognized the gesture for what it was. He leaned into it, shutting his eyes and letting out a quiet sigh.

"Whatever's going on, you're gonna be okay, alright? Sans has you looking out for him, and you've got me if you need me. Got it?"

THANK YOU, UNDYNE.

They sat like that for a long moment, before Undyne finally stood up. She gave Papyrus a big grin.

"So! My offer's still on the table."

OFFER?

Papyrus blinked, looking confused.

"Wait, don't tell me you didn't hear me earlier."

I, UH. O-OF COURSE I HEARD YOU!

Undyne raised an eyebrow at the blatant lie. Papyrus gave her a sheepish grin. She laughed it off.

"I said, do you want to visit Hotland with me? I've gotta do some rounds there and check up on people."

OH. UM.

Papyrus glanced down at his phone worriedly, before looking back to Undyne.

CAN I. IS IT ALRIGHT IF I GO. CHECK ON SOMETHING AT HOME, FIRST?

Undyne stared at Papyrus, concern creeping into her features. Part of her wanted to ask what he was going to check on, but part of her suspected the answer was, "whatever's going on with Sans that he clearly doesn't want to talk about."

Undyne shrugged.

"Yeah, sure, that's fine. Gives me time to like, grab some breakfast for us."

THANKS, UNDYNE. I SHOULDN'T BE LONG!

A pause. Sans stared at Papyrus for a long moment, trying to gauge what his intentions could possibly be.

After a while Sans leaned against the counter, trying to look casual. He was trying to mask how tense his body was.

*why d’you ask?

WELL, I AM TRYING TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO GET FROM OUR UNIVERSE TO MY FRIEND SCRUB’S UNIVERSE!

Sans relaxed a little. Okay, so this conversation was not going to go in a direction he was really not ready to go in.

*oh, ok. like, that timeline hoppin’ thing lazy mentioned?

YES!!! AND, SINCE YOU ARE THE LOCAL EXPERT ON GETTING AROUND IN STRANGE AND UNUSUAL WAYS, I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE THE BEST PERSON TO ASK FOR ADVICE!

Sans chuckled. His shoulders sagged a little as the tension drained out of them.

*well, can’t say i have much of any experience hopping to other universes, bro.

BUT YOU DO HAVE EXPERIENCE WITH “HOPPING” BETWEEN ROOMS.

And some of the tension crept back in.

*i suppose so.

SO! HOW DO YOUR SHORTCUTS WORK?

Papyrus stared at Sans expectantly, his expression a mix of genuine curiosity and eagerness. Sans couldn’t possibly say no to that face.

He awkwardly reached up and scratched his head.

*well. uh. not sure... exactly how to explain it?

JUST TRY!

Sans let out a forced chuckle. He glanced down to the floor for a moment, lost in thought.

*ok. so. uh. rooms. let’s start with that.

Sans looked back up at Papyrus.

*so, let’s say your room is “room 1″, the living room is “room 2″, and this room is “room 3″, ok?

Papyrus nodded along.

*let’s say you wanna get from room 3, this room, up to your room, room 1. how’d you go about that?

BY WALKING THROUGH ROOM 2, OF COURSE!

*right. now, what if you wanted to get from here to your room, but didn’t want to go through the living room?

Papyrus paused for a moment, a frown of concentration forming on his face.

I. WELL. HRM. I... DON’T KNOW???

*what if you could just... change that 3 into a 1 and voila! you’re there.

Papyrus blinked at Sans. Sans chuckled.

*and here’s where it starts getting complicated.

Papyrus, sensing that this could take a while, took a seat on the floor in front of Sans. Sans casually crossed his legs and leaned against the counter some more.

*so. hm. how do i explain it... ok. let’s say that there’s this list, buried deep inside you. maybe even deep inside your soul. and on this list is everything about you: your name, your stats... even stuff like your current location.

Papyrus’s eyes grew wide.

*starting to see where i’m going with this?

YES! IF YOU COULD ACCESS THIS LIST AND CHANGE WHAT IT SAYS...

*then getting from one room to another is as simple as changing a 3 to a 1.

Papyrus nodded, smiling proudly at how fast he caught on. And then he paused, a frown forming on his face.

THAT SOUNDS A LOT LIKE CHEATING, THOUGH.

*heh.

Sans shrugged.

*never said it wasn’t.

Papyrus sighed and rolled his eyes.

IT FIGURES THAT YOU’D FIND A WAY TO CHEAT REALITY ITSELF.

Sans spoke before he could stop himself.

*well, i didn’t exactly stumble across this on purpose.

The moment he saw the expression on his brother’s face change, Sans regretted speaking up. He shuffled his feet awkwardly and then tried to turn the awkward gesture into a shrug.

*but maybe let’s not talk about that right now? save it for some other time.

Sans couldn’t bring himself to look his brother in the eye, especially not when he was giving him that Look. That look he got whenever he sensed there was a problem and he really, really wanted to help solve it. Eventually, however, Papyrus let out a vaguely defeated sigh.

OKAY, IF YOU’RE SURE.

*anyway, yeah. i basically go into that list and fiddle with the location stuff. that’s pretty much the only thing on it i can really affect, though. which is fine by me.

DO YOU THINK YOU COULD TEACH ME HOW?

Sans paused. His ever-present grin wavered.

*honestly? i’m not sure. it’s just... intuitive to me. and, well. like you said, i’m pretty sure it’s cheating. in the sense of i probably shouldn’t be able to do it in the first place.

Papyrus sighed.

WELL, THAT’S OKAY. IT AT LEAST GIVES ME SOME INSIGHT. THANK YOU FOR TALKING TO ME, BROTHER.

Papyrus stood up and turned to leave the room. He hesitated a moment, and then spun right back around and leaned in to nudge Sans affectionately.

LOVE YOU, SANS.

*heh. love ya too, bro.

First place Sans thought to look was the last place he’d seen his brother: sleeping in his cool race car bed. He still remembered using blue magic to carry his brother from the couch up to his room. Sure, Papyrus looked like he was totally prepared to camp out on the couch, but Sans knew from personal experience that that was not the most comfortable place to sleep.

Sans slipped on a pair of slippers and shuffled down the hall to his brother’s room. The door, of course, was closed. Signs saying “NO GIRLS ALLOWED”, “NO BOYS ALLOWED”, and “PAPYRUS ALLOWED” decorated the door, reinforcing the general “keep out” message that the closed door signified. Sans knocked on the door and waited for an answer.

He heard a vaguely irritated grunt on the other side. Sans’s shoulders relaxed a little. Good. He knew where his brother was.

*hey, bro! isn’t it a little late for you to still be in bed?

Another grunt.

*c’mon bro. i thought you were just gonna sleep through the night this time. instead of, y’know, all day like you usually do.

Some grumbling.

*...hey. papyrus. can i come in?

A noncommittal response.

*ok. i’m comin’ in, ok?

Sans opened the door a crack and peered into the room. Sans spotted a suspicious lump in the middle of Papyrus’s bed. Looks like his brother really was sleeping in.

Sans crept into the room and made his way over to the bed. He peered around the bed, trying to get a good look at his little brother’s face. Unfortunately, his little brother had apparently balled up in such a way that he could not, in fact, find his face.

*hey. paps. you doing ok?

Papyrus made another noncommittal noise. Something about this situation did not sit right with Sans.

*c’mon, pap. speak to me.

A little voice at the back of Sans’s head chuckled at the irony. After all the times Papyrus had tried to get Sans to just open up a little...

Sans ignored the thought and climbed up onto the bed next to his brother. He reached out and pat the lump at about where he thought Papyrus’s shoulder should be. Papyrus shifted a little bit, finally poking his face out from under the covers.

*heh, there you are. mornin’, papperdoodle.

Papyrus grimaced as Sans pat him on the head.

I HATE THAT ONE. THAT IS THE WORST NICKNAME YOU HAVE EVER GIVEN ME!

*heh heh. come on, you know it’s clever.

Papyrus let out an annoyed huff.

*seriously, though. i don’t mean to be rude or anything, but... why are you still in bed? it’s like, midmorning already.

Papyrus let out a sigh, snuggling into the covers a bit further.

I... DON’T KNOW. I JUST. DON’T. FEEL LIKE GETTING UP?

It was a good thing Sans’s face wasn’t very expressive, otherwise his flinching would have been more obvious.

*what d’you mean you don’t feel like getting up?

Sans tried to keep his tone fairly light and casual. If he showed any sign of panic, Papyrus would probably panic too.

Papyrus let out a sigh. The blankets moved around him as he shrugged.

I DON’T KNOW. I JUST FEEL LAZY ALL OF A SUDDEN???

Sans’s brow furrowed. He didn’t like the sound of this, not one bit.

*how, uh. how long you been feeling this way?

HRM. SINCE I WOKE UP, I THINK? BLECH. IT FEELS LIKE THAT TIME I STUCK ALL THOSE COTTON BALLS IN MY HEAD...

Sans let out a noticeably awkward chuckle before he could stop himself. This whole situation was so uncomfortably awkward.

...BROTHER? ARE YOU O—

*so, uh.

No, Papyrus, you are not going to change the focus of this conversation. Nope. Not happening. Not if Sans has any say in the matter.

*do you think you can, uh, think clearly enough to get anything done? like, getting dressed or something?

Papyrus let out an overly dramatic sigh.

I SUPPOSE I SHOULD!

Sans sat and waited for Papyrus to make a move. And he waited. And waited.

*uh. papperoni?

DON’T START WITH THE SILLY NICKNAMES, PLEASE.

*you haven’t gotten out of bed, paps.

...NO I HAVE NOT.

*you planning on getting up anytime soon?

...I’D LIKE TO, BUT. MY BODY DOES NOT APPEAR TO WANT TO COOPERATE.

Papyrus suddenly turned to Sans and fixed him an adorable, childish pouty face.

BROTHER... COULD YOU CARRY ME? PLEASE?

Sans burst out laughing despite himself.

*dude, have you forgotten that you’re like. more than a foot taller than me?

Papyrus turned up the cute factor. His eye sockets got a little wider and a little watery, his cute little grin-frown became more of a frown.

PLEASE, BROTHER?

Sans laughed even harder at how ridiculous his brother looked.

*fine, fine. if you don’t mind getting flung into walls in the process.