#!aizen

attractiveness:

repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.

personality:

grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.

how likely they would have sex with them:

not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex / their energies are already f*ck buddies.

level of friendship:

never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend.

first impression of them:

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.

current impression of them:

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.

Ah, why indeed. Regrets are reserved to manifest next mornings ...

Hiyori doesn’t actually have nightmares about being hurt or dying. In fact being injured does not create any trauma like that for her. She enlisted as a shinigami very early on. She is aware of injuries and has become older and stronger to know that these injuries heal. At least- physically. But what she does have nightmares about is the psychological aspects that hollowfication has taken. The one complaint against Aizen was not the betrayal- but the fact that he used her to hurt her friends. Hiyori had been trying to fight her own hollowfication for a long, long time as Shinji warded off Mashiro and Kensei’s attack with the other visored. She had been struggling to tell Shinji to drop her and run. She had also told him to leave her. She gave him several warnings until she couldn’t control herself any more and the hollow took hold of her actions. I think she must have been struggling for a long time, trying to fight the virulent nature of the hollow and to not hurt her friends.

Eventually, she succumbs and the recurring nightmare she has is if it happens again. What now?

It’s why she is always on edge. She’s always sure to reel in her violent hollow so she will not lose that control again.

As for the aftermath of Gin bisecting Hiyori, here are a few of my headcanons from an injury like that:

She has a thin, surgical scar across her entire midsection around her waist. It has healed into a silvery-white colour and quite noticeable.

Whilst her breathing and energy is undamaged. there are occasions that she suffers loss of sensation and lower leg weakness. In those moments, she has to take a break until she can regulate her reiatsu and regain sensation in her lower limbs again. In the immediate aftermath, Hiyori had to learn to sit and walk again with extensive rehabilitation. She spent a long portion of her time not knowing if she could ever fight again. It was a very dark part of her life.

She compiled a list of reasons for herself to walk again (e.g., to dance on Aizen’s grave, so she could dropkick Kisuke whenever she felt like it, so Shinji wouldn’t look like he would cry…).

She has internal scarring in all her organs. All healed, but she needs yearly check ups at the fourth division to monitor inflammatory markers.

She cannot become pregnant due to the trauma her body has sustained. Her body will not carry a child. Whilst Hiyori did not want a child… she is also quite heartbroken that the choice was taken from her and it’s just one other thing she can’t provide her partner.

Due to the nature of the injury, Shinso’s reiatsu (Gin’s zanpakuto) lingers around that area. It’s very subtle and woven into her own reiatsu by now, but it is still there.

She has just small amounts of PTSD- but often covers it up with some dark humour. None of the visored finds her jokes about ‘not being half bad‘ funny at all. They are probably the ones with more trauma having to watch her die to be honest.

Also- the big crux of this is- Hiyori only survived in that universe. I always think Hiyori, for all reasons, was most likely going to die from that injury. She was cleaved in two. The damage to her spine, her liver, her kidneys and gut would have been too extensive to save- even for a hollow with regenerative capabilities. But she survived in that one universe.

I like the plot that every time she does die, she wakes up a few days prior to the fake karakura town arc and has to find a way to prevent her death (a la edge of tomorrow, or groundhog day). I just have to pick the annoying music she hears every time she comes back to life.

He'd said it so kindly after she had let out a sigh, checking her letters and was disappointed that Kirio had still not written/replied to her hundreds of letters. She turns to the voice of the tousle-haired lieutenant, he's more observant than she knows and wonders how long he's been watching her.

But the genuine kindness and how consistent his smile was... made her a little concerned.

"..."

@keikakudori from here:

Hiyori does not receive mail in Seireitei. Any messages or hell butterflies are specifically addressed to Shinji. He has a job and several connections here. All she has are those fierce little allies that she cannot let go of in this- or any dimension. So imagine her surprise when she receives something addressed to her. It bears an official seal on it and she is loathed to touch something that could be shinigami-related. She does not want to deal with any of that. She only wants to live her life now.

But then, after some deliberation, she is compelled to read the letter. The handwriting is foreign, but clear. The words are alien– but as soon as she gets through the first few lines, a chill runs straight through her spine. She’s lost the feeling in her legs and she’s quite glad nobody can see her fierce self lose composure over some words.

Did… she expect her perfect little life to one day shatter? Yes. But has she expected her random letter ever to be answered? No. None of her letters were answered before. After all, she who hated writing and formulating responses… had written until her fingers were sore and bleeding. She had sent many a tearful letter to Kirio, begging almost at the end to take her with her… Not a single answer had been given.

But now she has a reply. A neat, prim reply. Familiar words are dancing around the page. Words from someone a long, long time ago.

This is not the reply she expects. If she has wanted a reply… she wanted it filled with a burning challenge. Some fancy, flowery lines where he mocked her and asked her to bide her time until he returns to ruin everything.

But what she got instead was… a conversation. And his dialogue compelled her to pick up a piece of paper and respond in kind. She wasn’t here to offer him something as magnanimous as forgiveness. Hiyori is not an angel. And she certainly is no shinigami. She is no longer a pure dweller in the court of purest souls. She cannot offer things like forgiveness.

But all she can offer him is her own confusion. Her fingers trembled, gripping the pen too hard. She has not picked up a writing brush in decades. She uses a small thing like a pen now, scratching out harsh letters on pages that begged for some ink.

Sosuke,

Ya really goin’ crazy in there if ya like readin’ yer hate mail.  

… Hirako-Taichou. At least ya remember that name. Guess ya already know he’s a captain again. Restored his name again. Took 100 years for him ‘ta take back the position after you stole it from him.

Why d’ya do that? Yer clever and yet ya steal Kisuke’s Hougyoku. Ya steal Shinji’s position. Ya steal souls from Rukongai. Ya steal arrancar and turn ‘em into Espada. Is Kyoka Suigetsu really yer zanpakuto? Is that really yer own soul cutter or did ya steal that too?

What’s actually yours?

I remember those times at the fifth division too. Faker than yer fuckin’ prescription glasses.

I ain’t yer friend. Ya don’t got any friends, Sosuke. Ya don’t get ‘ta use that word when yer out here ruinin’ people’s lives for yer own grand plans.

And it’s good that yer feelin’ some remorse in that shithole. This is a punishment, since ya can’t apparently die. I still think that’s fake news too. Seireitei is full of shittygami and they can say what they want and everyone’ll believe their packs of lies. Of course, ya know all about that. Ya played ‘em for so long.

Yer lyin’ now, ain’t ya?

sp- prudent? What the fuck does that mean? Stop usin’ fancy words. Even now, yer bein’ shitty!

Ya sayin’ ya knew my weaknesses? Big fuckin’ deal. I am the first ‘ta attack anyway. It ain’t some amazing observation, genius.

Ya used me ‘ta hurt Shinji? That’s fuckin’ dumb. Ya could’a just started fighting him. And it wasn’t even you that attacked me- that shitty Gin kid did!! It hurt like a bitch btw, since ya didn’t ask.

Uhh. Don’t believe ya. Ya were his lieutenant. Yer fuckin’ job was ‘ta PROTECT him and ya hurt him? And this conveniently came with yer sneaky plans ‘ta become idk… wtf was even yer plan? Soul King or sommat?? Sounds like yer lying. Yer obviously lying. And I ain’t gonna ask Shinji anything. He already somehow feels like yer shitty decisions are his fault. Like who knows ya enjoyed a lil hollowfication with yer wagashi on the side? Fuck knows.

Don’t butter me up with compliments. I ain’t a child!

And the only reason I was even aware of anythin’ that night– - I was so fuckin’ ashamed! My zanpakuto had cut Shinji! I’d sonner cut my own head!

Don’t talk about my heart.  Don’t talk about what ya learned. Are ya confusin’ yer victims? I ain’t no Hinamori. I’m Hiyori. Did she also send ya letters? She looks the type.

Don’t talk about my loyalty and shit that ya know nothing about. Ya got no loyalty, so how d’ya know if I am loyal? Ya ain’t scared of anythin’. Ya ain’t scared of bein’ overpowered or hurt or losin’ yer mind. So how the fuck d’ya know what being brave is like?

I ain’t a good woman. I’m permanently disfigured.

I can’t go back ‘ta bein’ who I was. But I’ll never let ya hurt my friends again. And don’t pretend ‘ta worry about Shinji. He’s havin’ the time of his life now that he’s got a cute lieutenant. 

I hate you. Don’t simper, it’s pissing me off.

The little lieutenant, who was currently, definitely, certainly not here to deliver a present to the guy with a face that was flatter than a tortilla, was now caught! Right in the act of hurling a very embarrassing present to the captain's office. Along with a hoard of perfumed shinigami. Geez, Shinji and his girlfriends. It was nice to have a distraction. And even nicer to see someone calm and reasonable - even if he was a bit of a stickler for the rules.

"Yo, Sosuke. Ya still ain't got yer captain a present? Ya gonna get demoted at this rate," she teased him. But she was also secretly proud that he was asking for her opinion. She supposed it was because she was Shinji's best friend despite fracturing his elbow in three separate places.

Aizen turned his attention towards Hiyori. "Oh- thank you Hiyori." He added, a small smile on his face as he gently took the planter from Hiyori. Noticing it was the same flowers of his squad insignia. "Yea- I appreciate these very much." He added. He was grateful for the gift and made a mental note to keep good care of them in his room, or perhaps plant them at his squad where he can easily take care of them and possibly grow more of them.

"Where did you get them?" he asked curiously where she found them.

She knew that he was a popular and polite lieutenant. Aizen had received a steady stream of obligatory gifts from various shinigami. He was always diligent and hard working and nobody had a bad word to say in regards to him. At lieutenant meetings he was often quiet, but she found that she preferred the Aizen that would ask questions, even if Shinji would sometimes dislike his apparent ‘eavesdropping’ on captain conversations.  But as Lisa said- curiosity was essential.

And so, Hiyori had recognised that Aizen enjoyed collecting nice things for his house. Not luxurious wall screens or fancy pelts... but simple little books, calligrapher’s brushes, weighted paper-- all the boring stuff that she couldn’t really understand. She did think he would be the type to appreciate some greenery. He had always enjoyed it when she’d be doing some gardening or landscaping with Kirio and she decided then that she would try and locate some of her favourite flowers and grow them for him. It just so happened that lilies were also his squad insiginia. She thought they added charm wherever they were placed. Tiny little white flowers- with a beautiful scent.

“G-geez. Ya don’t gotta look so moved an’ all. It ain’t hard ‘ta get seeds for plants and grow ‘em. Ya can save all yer thanks by givin’ me any birthday food ya receive.”

Hiyori often went out a lot with her friends after work. It was a fun thing to do on their days off and her favourite pastime was often going to karaoke and belting out old enka songs where people stood up on edge thinking a menos grande was around because of how bad she sounded. However, as of late, she had noticed that Aizen did not often hang around the other lieutenants- - well, not the ones his own decade or so.

She had asked him to join her and the other lieutenants for drinks. Once Mashiro was out, giggling like a mad woman and rushing after some poor guy, did Lisa rush to go and fetch her… or dump her back to the ninth division. Hiyori wasn’t entirely sure. She was left alone with the awkward and  almost-shy Aizen Sosuke.

“Yeah?” Hiyori added, possessively holding on to her chicken and sake noodle combination which she wasn’t going to let anyone even taste. She glanced at him, slurping loudly. “Ya okay, Sosuke?”

He actually looked like his glasses had misted over and his cheeks had become mildly… pink (?).

The small lieutenant turned to him, one arm still around her bowl of food.

“E-eh?”

Hiyori flushed dully when the conversation turned to Shinji. She was actually quite worried that this had been plaguing Aizen all night and he hadn’t murmured a word to the other girls. Did he think Hiyori would know the answer?

Hiyori took a sad look at her noodles, but decided Aizen needed some consoling. She patted him awkwardly on the shoulder in what she hoped was a soothing motion. “The baldy don’t hate ya, see- and he don’t avoid ya! Look, he literally runs three divisions when he sees me, so- I think yer bein’ hard on yerself. Ya don’t… ya shouldn’t worry about these things.” 

The little lieutenant was still busily tidying up a few more reports when there was a polite knock at her door. Well, more like a clearing of the throat and then Aizen announced himself in. Her expression brightened at the sight of her fellow lieutenant, but she was a little curious as to what brought him here today. After all, she had been on her best behaviour recently and not knocked out any of his squad members. Not that she could recall…

However, at the sight of the wrapped box, she immediately knew why he was here. And was actually touched. Aizen was a bit of a shy nerd at times, so to see him with a gift in hand – it was nice.

“Huh? Ya remembered?!”

Of course he remembered. She had only been rabbiting on about it for an entire month!!

Hiyori gleefully tore open the beautifully wrapped gift and was a bit disappointed when she saw just… vouchers?? But as she read further on, she realised just what places these vouchers and tokens were for. All these expensive eateries she had once pointed out to Aizen as they walked together or hung out in between meetings.

All these gifts, as well as the token for the twelfth division – it meant one thing. Aizen listened. He listened to her… like she also had something important to say. Something worth remembering.

He was a good friend.

She offered him a plate of wagashi and thanked him with a wide grin.