Enter The Madness

His voice was booming, your ears ringing from how horrifyingly aggressive he yelled. The sound of fists slamming against a desk was followed soon after as your body pushed up the last few steps.

The set of teeth that floated above you was glitching out of control, not the usual blue screen or familiar glitch, this was stronger, anger practically swirling in the room around you. It was suffocating, like the tension could send your digital body into that unusual body shift when your breath was held.

Your horrified expression dropped into a look of concern, for just a moment you could see the glitching cease, and his pupils widen but just as quickly he turned away from you. It was like he was trying to hide this side of him, like you haven’t seen him glitching before, even though this was definitely the worst you’ve seen it.

“Do you want me to leave?” Your voice came out steadier than you felt, it was almost like this didn’t seem to faze you. It was surprisingly convincing.

Caine didn’t even speak or turn toward you to acknowledge that he heard the question you asked, instead it looked like he sunk further down to the ground. His glitching form began to even out, he was so close to being back to that familiar figure.

“Are you okay?” You took a single step toward the Ringmaster, but you stopped yourself from moving at the sight of his glitching starting all over again. Your heart sank, not wanting to admit to yourself you were a little hurt he genuinely didn’t want you to be at his side.

“I’ll… come back later…” Your voice was just above a whisper as you gave into your fight or flight, deciding it was best to let him cool off before you spoke your own concerns.

You turned back toward the descending stairwell, the echo of your footsteps seemed louder than before. Just as you reached the threshold of his office entrance you could see the walls vibrate with static as they glitched in and out of existence, then a familiar snap came from behind you and in an instant your body was yanked backward into the plush cushions of the green couch right beside his desk.

Your eyes swirled from the dizzying movement, your arms grasping onto the armrest to steady your swirling body. The glitching seemed to stop, the rumbling of the circus ceased as well. You half expected Caine to ask that familiar question he always seemed to ask, but you were met with more deafening silence.

Usually he would come to you if he was feeling even slightly under the weather. You felt the trust you’ve both spent building was nonexistent under the circumstances, like he didn’t want you to know what exactly you walked into. The thought that he was upset with you was becoming an increasing worry of yours.

“If you won’t answer my question, then I’ll sit with you until you’re ready?” You didn’t mean for it to come out as a question, but he didn’t seem too bothered by it.

“You know they don’t want to be here. Why keep them when they want to leave you just like everyone else-“ The familiar sight of Bubble appeared beside Caine, and just as quickly he was popped.

Bubbles’ words rang through the quiet room, Caine’s glitching was once again set back into a spiraling motion as his body curled in what you can only guess was anger. At the sight of his shaking shoulders did the reality of the situation set in, and you felt so stupid for not noticing sooner.

You were already standing on your feet before your mind could catch up, the distance between the set of dentures and you disappeared as the palm of your hand touched his shoulder.

Your breath hitched at the sight of tears brimming at the edge of his eyes and falling out the side of his bottom row of teeth. His gloved hand was holding the middle of his bottom jaw as his other hand was planted firmly against his chest.

Caine’s chest was moving rapidly like he was taking deep breaths to calm himself down. The glitching of his body nearly burned the palm of your hand upon contact, you forced yourself through the pain to wrap your arms around his shoulders.

He fell limp into your hold, sinking weightlessly into your arms as he buried his closed jaw into the head of your digital body. You could feel the warm droplets fall onto your temple but they vanish as they landed, like they never existed in the first place.

“Why do they hate me?” The angered tone he had when you first walked in was replaced by a shaky whisper that made your heart shatter.

“Caine, they don’t hate you-“ your words were cut short as he snapped his jaw, the sound of him clamping down as he gritted his teeth.

“I do everything for them! I go out of my way to make these adventures enjoyable, even out of my own comfort zone and all they do is spit in my face!” With each word his anger seemed to rise, and you flinched away from how harsh the static had started to bite back.

Caine stopped, drifting away from you quickly, eyes filled with worry as his hands twitched like he wanted to reach out again but he stopped himself. You could see the concern disappear as sadness took its place.

“And all I do is hurt you. I’m supposed to be better, stronger but I can’t-I don’t-“ Caine sank further into himself, turning away from you once again.

You smiled softly, not that you enjoyed seeing him like this but because he was so caught up in his own head, feeling things he’s still learning to comprehend he felt almost human in this moment. Your heart skipped a beat, this was what you have learned to love about him. He had an ego, sure, but deep down his heart was in the right place even if his actions were questionable.

“You have to understand that they don’t hate you, yes, they’re upset only because of the false hope that you gave them...” You tried to find a way to explain to him what exactly they were feeling, their words still echoing in your mind.

“I gave them an adventure that covered their need for an exit, so why are they upset when I give them what they asked for?!” Caine snapped back at you, his top jaw framing his eyes in a glare as he looked back at you.

He was quick to realize the look he gave you, and reverted back to that kicked puppy look, apologizing in silence as he huffed.

“It’s not as simple as that, it’s not something you can just flaunt in their faces. They have people they miss, experiences. It was our home Caine…” Your eyes darted to the wooden floor, the vague memories replaying in your head. “…I find myself missing it too. I love it here but to be… human… it’s not easy to explain but it was who we were, who we still are. You can’t expect them to forget that.”

You could feel the world around you shake as you finished speaking, the glitching continuing to grow out of control. Your eyes quickly found their way back to Caine, who was now facing you, his expression unreadable. Your heart hammered against your chest as you looked away again, trying once again to explain it.

“Empathy. It’s even a hard thing for humans to understand. You’ve spent your entire existence with the ability to create and craft all of these adventure, but for a second imagine one day you were trapped in a box unable to experience the craft of adventures again. It’s sim-“ Your eyes took a glance at Caine, you half expected him to ignore you but he was now fully facing you, his body seemingly growing in size as the glitching continued.

“You say I don’t have empathy but have you ever thought about how I feel, how what you say and think affects the world I built around you?” His wistfully voice had a hidden meaning that you weren’t sure of.

Your own words caught in your throat, you didn’t have a response. The space between you shortening as his jaw sharpened in another glare, “You have no idea what I feel, how your words make me want to-I don’t care that they hate me.”

“But you just-“ You were once again interrupted, his jaw snapping once again as his teeth ground into a sharp sound.

“I know what I said, but do you realize what you do to me, what you make me want to do!” His words were sharp, directly piercing your heart.

It felt like he was blaming only you for how he was feeling and you felt anger replace the fear and worry you felt. You weren’t going to stand here and take it, you were already sick of everyone telling you to tame him like some animal. They didn’t express their concerns directly to Caine, it was always you sitting between them like a translator.

All you wanted to do was to get away, to spend time with the Ringmaster just to avoid the situation with the others, hoping their words wouldn’t cause you to treat Caine any different but deep down you were so tired of it all. And now even Caine was throwing you under the bus, it felt worse than what the others have said.

“You do not get to talk to me like I’m the one who caused this issue. You think you’re the only one hurting after that adventure you made?” Your voice rose as you were nearly pressing your forehead into Caine’s upper gums. The pain no longer bothered you. “For f### sake, you can alter our minds Caine!? You don’t understand what it’s like to not know that what you’re feeling is real!”

“I already said it was temporary modifiers-I would never-“ Caine had sank away, his anger was quickly replaced with worry. His body went back to his normal size if not smaller.

He nearly tripping over his own desk as you pushed forward stopping him halfway through his sentence, this was the first time he had ever seen you snap. It was intimidating, the fear of your raised voice had his mind spiraling as he sank into his desk.

Your finger pushed against his chest, your body shaking from the adrenaline rush as you held him back against his desk. The tears from your eyes started to burn as you glared down at the Ringmaster, your words falling short of anger.

“How am I supposed to know that’s not a lie?!” You could feel your knees shake, your heart leaping from your throat as the anger slowly dispersed. “How am I supposed to know that-that I really… love you?”

Your confession broke the dam as tears started to slip down your cheeks, “How am I supposed to know that this isn’t just you messing with my-my mind?”

The overwhelming sense of embarrassment set in further as you tried to stop yourself from talking but the words kept spilling out. “You worry so much about the others hating you and leaving, that you don’t even notice that I would abandoned my own life to stay with you, to run through all the adventures you create with a smile on my face…”

Caine’s glitching ceased, if he could describe what you looked like right now it would be beautiful. Your tears, your shaking form, the confession you had just made. It made his nonexistent heart stop, like nothing else seemed to matter but you and him. He wanted so badly to keep denying how you made him feel, but all of these emotions kept surfacing the more he tried to push them back.

“Isn’t that horrible of me… I have friends, family that miss me, yet none of them matter when I’m with you.” Your body finally gave up, your legs giving way as your head fell into Caine’s lap.

You finally let the pent up emotions out, gripping your fist in anger at yourself. The tears didn’t stop flowing as you buried your face into the warmth of him, hoping that he would snap you back into the circus to save you from this embarrassment.

The surprise you felt when his gloved hand lifted your chin was an understatement, your heart lept from your chest as his bottom row of teeth nudged the corner of your cheeks. His tongue lapped away the stray tears on your cheeks before his teeth brushed your lips.

“I’m sorry.” His apology was sincere and just above a whisper as he dusted more kisses along your face, his tongue continuing to pick up the tears that fell.

You didn’t know what to do, your body freezing up in confusion. This had to be a dream, you’ve spent so long convincing yourself an AI couldn’t possibly understand love, yet, here he was proving you wrong once again. You could feel your heart clench in your chest.

“I shouldn’t have said all of that. I’m sorry Caine.” You pulled away from him, the back of your hand wiping away the few tears left.

Caine just sat on his desk, watching you sniffle. This wasn’t how he expected this to go, his previous anger was gone. It felt like that weight had been lifted off of him, maybe the adventure was to see if you would stay, not the others, like a sick commitment test. He felt embarrassed to admit that maybe these new feelings were exactly that, to see if you truly loved and cared for him like he did.

“I never questioned how I felt about you, but everyone has been getting in my head. I was scared that this was all just a ploy to have me convince the other to never leave.” You sat down in his office chair, swiveling left and right as your knee bounced.

Caine nodded his head, looking down at his hands trying to find the right words before he spoke. “I never meant for the abstractions to happen, I thought if I could prolong their happiness then they wouldn’t be miserable. I caused so many to… I didn’t know that I was doing more harm, truly, it was never malicious. I just tried to keep them happy, that’s all it was.”

You looked up at his mismatched eyes, finding only sorrow. The thought of everyone who had abstracted, chasing that exit, being unpleasant, making everyone miserable around them. It all kind of made sense, in a weird way. You ran your hands along your thighs, your palms felt sweaty from your previous actions.

“Sometimes there’s nothing you can do, but it’s not okay to just alter someone’s mind, adventure or not.” You looked down at your hands, the shaking didn’t stop. Your mind was clear but your stomach was doing flips like you were going to vomit.

“Am I really the cause for all these issues lately?” You swallowed the lump in your throat, the tears already wanting to spill over again, but you held your gaze on him. Your heart was skipping a beat as his eyes looked from you to the ground, avoiding your gaze, and for a moment you thought it was true.

“I suppose the answer would be yes.” Caine ran his gloved hand over his chest, then it hooked on his lower jaw. You almost burst into tears again just before he spoke again. “I made an adventure to cater to everyone, to see if they would stay, but it occurred to be that it was to see if you would.”

His jaw closed, hiding away his eyes as his arms crossed over his chest. You knew that expression all too well, it had your head spinning again.

“You know I don’t want to leave, but creating an adventure to test if them or I want to leave isn’t the best way to go about it.” You felt a smile creep on your face as his jaw opened slightly, eyeing you up and down. His expression was still unreadable since his jaw was not moving in the slightest. “I’ve told you countless times it’s good to cycle through slow and fast pace adventures, even if it’s a suggestion… you bring it to life, isn’t that enough to stroke your ego?”

Caine hummed, nodding along to your words. Then his top jaw scrunched up in worry, the world rumbling at his sudden epiphany. “Will they even want to go on any adventures? I’m sure they most definitely hate me now.”

“They don’t hate you, they just need space. I would suggest an apology, an actual apology.” You placed your hand over his, squeezing reassuringly.

“As long as you’re there with me.” His words fell without him realizing, “I mean-of course you’re going to be there!”

He snapped his jaw closed quickly, hiding behind his teeth again as his gums dusted a brighter red. It was adorable.

You stood without a second thought, pressing a kiss against the middle of his teeth. The kiss didn’t last long, no matter how much you wanted it too. You reluctantly pulled away only for Caine’s gloved hands to cup your face and pull you back in, instead of pushing his teeth into your lips, his tongue licked the entirety of your face almost like a dog.

You laughed aloud, as his teeth finally pressed gently against your lips then a familiar sound of him blue screening was all you needed as confirmation.