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Maybe the real stranger thing was the heterosexuality we lost along the way

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The Odyssey, a summary:

*record scratch*

*freeze frame*

Yeah, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation

classicalgreekshit

odysseus: pyrrhus, your dad was gay™️ for patroclus so we should listen to his last request and mix their ashes together

pyrrhus:

zeusfuckedmymom

Demeter: Where is Persephone?

The Sirens:

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Hrrrrgg, Aegeus, I’m trying to rescue the Athenians but I’m dummy thicc, and the clap of my ass cheeks keeps alerting the Minotaur.

patandachillesweregay-deactivat

therapist: and what do we say when someone upsets us?

hades: i’m going to send your soul to the fields of punishment for eternal torture?

therapist: no.

the-12-magnificent

Hephaestus: Roses are red, romance is dead, everyday I suffer from, existential dread

sofiapdf

Me: Fellas is it gay to—

Historians before the 1960s, already looking the other way: No.

the-12-magnificent

Zeus: Why does everyone assume the worst of me?

Hades: It saves time.

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hynpos

the entire greek pantheon: zeus stop turning into an animal to have sex with mortals

zeus: sTOp tUrNIng InTO aN ANimAL, STop HAvINg sEX wITH mORtAls

sparknoteslitmemes

neon-elliot

It’s me Achilles,the sad burrito

the-12-magnificent

Hera: Ugh I’m bored, someone tell me a joke.

Hermes: Okay

Hermes: Your marriage

neon-elliot

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the-12-magnificent

Zeus: I know we’ve always had this unspoken rivalry.

Hades: It’s not a rivalry, you’re just always mean to me. And not unspoken, you talk about it all the time.

classicalgreekshit

all historians be like:

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Every BTS member is beautiful, fight me