The Itty Bitty Kitty Committee

Son: Ay mum, will you pause that? You know the guy I'm talking to is 6'4? Can't wait to get my shit wrecked.

Mom: What?

Son: Can't wait to get my shit wrecked.

Mom: You're going to get your shit wrecked?

Son: Mhmm.

Mom: So you are a bottom...?

Son: Wait. Okay, I- That's just not what you're supposed to say!

Mom: What am I supposed to say?

Son: Don't- not that! Is this seat open? Can I sit here?

Mom: Are you about to video me?

Son: No! I'm not a bottom.

Mom: Bullshit.

Son: Is this legal?

(Actually spent a good few months thinking I was genetically unlucky and researching ancient family curses with my grandma.) 

So today I don’t know what I was hoping for - nothing, really?

(I mean, that part of me that’s still twelve was probably expecting this sweet old woman to have a set of glitter stickers in her purse and just go ‘You know what, you’re right - I’ve been saving this one for you all these years, here you go’ but I’m a solidly rational person and I know that’s stupid.)

No, I thought we’d just laugh and it would be a good shared memory and that would be it. Instead, my teacher got flustered and a bit embarrassed and explained the game was rigged. It was never about learning French at all. She’d just noticed some kids couldn’t afford even basic stationery, so she’d buy a few half-fancy items every month with her own money just for them. She didn’t want them to feel different or left out. And obviously the way she used to walk around in the classroom, looking over our shoulders - it wasn’t to prevent cheating. It was because she was cheating herself, wanting to see which number a particular child needed to get a Minnie Mouse pencil case.

Guys - the world is fucked up, but so many people out there are just good and kind and humbly heroic it honestly gives me hope. 

https://www.newscientist.com/article/2242937-universal-basic-income-seems-to-improve-employment-and-well-being/