Captian Syverson Collection

Just like every other night, you stood before the mirror, a black robe made out of silk hung loose upon your body, exposing a hint of lacey lingerie. Peering at yourself in the mirror, you twisted open a jar of new coconut oil.

"What you got over there?"

As if summoned, the large Captain appeared behind you. A soft smirk rounded his tanned cheeks while he approached and pressed his chin at the crest of your head.

Unapologetically, his gaze fell on your cleavage, admiring what he declared his.

You smiled in return, massaging the oil into your wrists.

"Coconut oil, it's good for your skin. It lubricates and nourishes it."

"Hmm," Sy hummed in delight and locked his arms around your belly. Both his smile and eyes flared with mischief. "What else is it good lubricating?"

Snorting, you turned in his embrace, though your glee shortly lived as your eyes detected the dust of white hair that decorated his beard. There were more than a few by now, yet still, you could count them, making sure they are all in place and listing all the new ones that appeared.

Your big bear was growing old, and you welcome that change with a maw of joy.

"It's good for beards," you mentioned while dipping two fingers into the creamy oil, "may I?"

Sy nodded at your request, his eyes carefully following your hand as you reached it to his face and began coating his beard.

"Christ, that scent," he sniffed.

"You don't like it?"

Sy scoffed, making a silly face. Gently, slowly, your fingertips combed the oil deeper into the greying nestle, sensing his warm skin. He groaned where your flesh touched his.

"Smells like a strip joint," he provoked and scrunched his nose, "which makes me wonder..." his eyes fell on your cleavage again, alight with dark desire.

"How would you know what a strip joint smells like?!" You frowned, though Syverson had a mind for midnight mischief, ignoring your agitated response.

His thick fingers made the jar look puny as he slid two of them inside, pumping them in and out twice and then pulling them out to glisten in the light.

Your cunt twitched merely from the sight.

'For crying out loud, everything he does!'

Noticing the desperation on your face, he chuckled, his clean hand softly landed on your shoulder, tipping the robe until it spilt from your body and unveiled the set of sexy lingerie.

"Sweet. Is that for me, sugarbutt?"

You opened your mouth to speak, but only a moan left your throat.

Collarbone, sternum, his oily fingers smoothly made a path down the bare part of your chest; warm and solid, they pressed into your flesh, leaving behind a hot trail that made the hairs of your nape bristle.

"Sy... darling..." you mumbled, letting your eyes fall shut at the sweetness of his touch.

"Darlin'," he retorted, coating his other hand in the thick liquid and casually caressing over your clad breast before his hand further glided down your belly.

A small flame of insecurity lit in your mind, only to be extinguished by Syverson's loving touch. Like any other woman, you've always been slightly self-conscious of these parts of you, but even with your eyes shut, you could sense his admiring gaze drinking your half-naked body.

As if reading your mind, he groaned out praises, "I love your body, darlin'. You are so beautiful."

"I love you, Sy." You threw your head back, allowing him to continue his savvy exploration. He was a man on a journey, an adventurer, turning your body into his expedition and the way he embarked through you sent vigorous quakes through your thighs. With his gaze intent on yours, he coiled his digits under the delicate straps of your underwear.

In seconds only, they piled at your feet.

Sharply, you inhaled, your slit twitching, lips tingling at the warmth of his touch drawing dangerously close to the apex of your thighs. Keen of every part of you better than you knew yourself, he mapped a trail to your mound and brushed his damp fingertips from your loins to your core.

"Oh my god..."

You broke, knees wildly shaking as Syverson reached to stroke between your swollen petals. Back and forth, he teased, giving fair treatment to your pearl and drawing back to caress the seams of your dripping slit.

"That's a hot juicy peach you got there, ma'am. Is that for me?" He drawled, eliciting a peal of moans and whimpers to spill from your gaping mouth. Unwitted, you swayed your hips to move into the rhythm of his strokes, desperately trying to evoke more friction, to urge him inside you.

"Sy, I want you..." Your hand snapped onto the edge of the porcelain sink to prevent you from falling, "make me come."

"Yeah, that's right, darlin'," Sy countered back, pressing the entirety of his large palm flat against your cunt while his thumb gyrated around your clit.

"Ride with me, baby. You are so beautiful when you come." Sy groaned at your desperate moans, mimicking and guiding you toward your climax.

Never in your life did you imagine you would harness such pleasure from something so simple. Although you wanted to feel the girth of his meaty cock splitting you asunder, the oxymoronic tenderness of his rough touch was enough to bring you to such heightens of bliss your entire body urgently thrashed.

Adulating your hip in vehement rhythm, you rode his fingers and crashed into the increasing sway of his hand until at least a spectrum of colours washed your veiled sight and in a final cry of pleasure, you imploded into rapture.

Sy watched you intently as you came, as he would always do. His pale sapphires read every quiver and flutter of your lips and lashes, preserving the sight of you in his heart.

"Good girl, such a good, good girl." He uttered before letting your trembling body fall into his welcoming embrace.

Still crying out your pleasure, you rested your cheek upon his broad shoulder, your mind buzzing, swarmed by thoughts of bliss and wonder.

"After..." you tried to speak, "after all these years together, I am still surprised that you still want me..."

Sy gave a soft chuckle while rocking you in his arms, his bearded chin fell to the top of your head before he squeezed you harder.

"Darlin', every night I go to sleep wanting you even more than before."

Credits:

* Beautiful dividers by @firefly-graphics

Syverson didn't let you out of his room for the remainder of the week. And you were getting quite bored of laying around, reading the single book you brought with yourself.

-Sy, i appreciate your concern, but i am fine, and i need to do my job, otherwise why am i here? If you managed to get injured three times in the past week, how do the others look... Please let me do my work. - you pleaded earning a sigh.

-I ... theres a new doctor in the base for the time being. Until you get better.

-I am better...

-No you're not. - he looked at you.

-Look i get it, im a woman, we got closer, but you cant keep me from doing my job, and you can't keep me in your fucking room. - you said, heading for the door. you had enough.

When you arrived at the medbay, the substitute doctor wasn't there. The soldiers greeted you, glad that you're back. So you went and changed some bandages.

-Doc, you're an angel. That bastard took so long to take a bullet out, i thought i was shot again... - one rumbled.

-Do not worry guys, i am back and well. The substitute will be gone in a few days. - you smiled at them, putting a reassuring hand on one's shoulder, when there was a cough behind you.

-The substitute - he emphasized - will not be leaving. However Doctor (Y/L/N) will be heading for the main base for psychological evaluation. - he said behind you, voice way too familiar. You turned around and your face dropped, but you needed to collect yourself quickly.

-I do certainly not need that, i am perfectly capable of doing my job Tom. - you said turning to leave, when he agressively shoved a paper in your hands, a few of the soldiers perking up, stepping towards you if you needed help. Ocre and Harper saw this from not too far.

-What the fuck is his problem? I never saw a man treat (Y/n) like that..

-Me neither, better inform the captain before they beat him to pulp, you know how they can get if its (Y/n). - he said, turning for the captain's office.

Your room wasn't far, while Harper went to speak with the Captain, Ocre went to check on you cause you stormed in, running past them. He heard sniffling and noises from your room. You were angrily packing your duffelbag, trying to wipe away the tears with the sleeve of your scrubs.

-Doc.. what happened?

You just silently handed him the paper. He followed you. Nearly killing you wasn't enough, you leaving him wasn't enough, he had to come, and ruin your job here at the base, where you planned to stay for a long time.

-Psychological evaluation? Why on earth would a stranger... - thats when he remembered your story. - that's him out there isn't it?..

You just nodded. You were so tired of him ruining every good thing you ever had. You were exhausted from fighting.

-May i? - he asked, holding his hands out if you needed a hug. You just ran and let him hug you, crying into his chest. He was your first friend here. A good one at that. Your back was turned to the door, so you didn't realize Sy and Harper arrived, wanting to ask you about the other doc. You were crying shaking in Matt's hands, he just handed them the paper silently, mouting to Syverson - that's the ex-fiancé. Syverson saw red. He grabbed his gun, along with the paper, stomping out to the medbay, more and more soldiers following him if there's a problem or they are needed.

He cornered your ex to a table, fear clear in that bastards eyes. Gotta admit Syverson was a big bulky, scary man if you didn't know him. Traits of a Captain.

-I called the main base, telling them to assign you to a different base, since our(Y/n) here is perfectly fine now, and that i see no need for the evaluation. Then you can pack your bag and leave my base before i shoot you in the fucking head. - he fumed, face so close he didn't need to shout to be loud.

Tom scoffed and laughed when he heard your name.

-First name basis? not too professional Captain... Bet you want to keep her to fuck her some more, do ya? She's a good fuck, i admit that much. But you see, i am a better doctor, your men deserve a better doctor then her.

Before he could say anything a few soldiers lifted their guns pointing towards him, rumbling about how you are the best doctor they ever had, and how he cannot talk about you like that. A manic smirk settled on his lips now.

-Oh so you are all fucking her huh? I knew she was a whore.. but a whole military base... She overdid herself..

You heard it and you saw it all. You knew there was a tiny chance you can stop Syverson from killing him. You had to do it. Not for Tom but for Syverson.

-Noone did as much as even touch me here Tom. Even if any of them would, you have no right to judge that. - you said calmly, walking slowly towards him.

-That is where you're wrong sweetheart. I let you have your playtime out here, but it is time you come back to the states. I am still your fiancé.

A single tear left your eye at the word. You took the knife attached to Syverson's belt, holding it to Tom's neck, while spatting out the words, for everyone out here to hear.

-I stopped being your fiancé when you arranged the car wreck, nearly killing me out of spite that i was better at my job than you. I don't even give shit about that i nearly lost my leg OR my life, but i despise you for the way you have always treated me. So no i will not go back to the states, nor marry you, nor to that fucking evaluation even if they take my licence. And you know why? because these men here appreciate the work i do, how i do it, and you know what.. That is a hundred times better than having a person next to me as shitty as you.

Syverson carefully took the knife from your hands, as you nearly drew blood from Tom's neck, then put an arm around your shoulders, slowly making you step back.

-Harper, make sure Mr. Miller is out of this base in an hour, or we'll make sure that the men out there have him. - he said as he walked you to his room, offering a whiskey and a cigarette. You sat on his bed, and he sat on a chair next to you.

The silence was welcome.

He was looking at you concerned as you downed whiskey.. Probably a few glasses too much. By the time you said your first word, it was already after the base going pitch black. You two sat there in his room, in full darkness.

-You know captain... at first i ran away to Iraq. I figured if my life did not worth anything then i might as well lose it out here, helping men whose life does matter. I got countless opportunities to date. Ranks all around. And i just wasn't interested. Not even once. - if there were any light in the room, you could seen the hurt in his eyes. Perhaps a little pity too, but somewhere deep inside he hoped at least you would be interested in him. - and you know whats even more upsetting? He waltzes in here, trying to ruin everything again, and the only fucking thing that was on my mind the whole time was how fucking sexy it was that you stood up for me, and how did you do it. - you laughed, hearing him laughing a bit too.

-Please forget it.. I shouldn't have said that.. - you said hiding your face in your hands, as if he could see the blush that crept up on it.

-You know.. seeing you press a knife to his neck, talking to him like that... i had to hide the tent in my pants by helding you closer and taking you here.

-Captain.. - you said with a fake surprise - that is highly inappropriate.

He chuckled while you giggled as he took your hand, inviting you to stand between his legs.

-I just can't keep myself away from you doc. - he said, his voice is merely a low growl.

Perhaps it was the alcohol, or the feeling that nothing even matters anymore.. You scooted forward, and gave a peck to his lips. He put his hand behind your neck, urging you to kiss him more, while his other hand helped you to straddle him in the chair. And you let him.

The kisses turned more and more feverish, his hands were all over you. He got up, hand under your ass, the other behind your neck, helding you close to him, as he went to lay down on his bed, you on top of him. He wanted to give you the reins, the opportunity to stop and pull away any time you wanted. However you didn't want to. He maybe just using you, but with Syverson, you didn't mind it. Again.. maybe just the alcohol.. Time will tell. You smiled into the kiss, hand going downwards to get rid of his t-shirt. He sat up a bit to help you. You saw him once in his underwear, but damn he felt good under your hands. His hand slowly started to unbutton your shirt, again leaving time for you to tell him to stop if you wanted. You both were in your underwears when his hand caressed your back, noticing the old scars, making you stop for a second.

-It's okay sweetheart.. Noone's gonna hurt you now. - he said between kisses.

-It's.. it's just.. I'm full of scars.. i'm permanently limping.. why would you want that?...

-He made you lie on his chest, pressing a kiss to your forehead while holding you close. -Why wouldnt i want that? I want you (Y/n), i wanted you ever since you barged in hire without knocking and put me in my place, not even phased by the lack of clothes i was wearing..

-Oh i was phased by it.. - you giggled into his chest - i was afraid you'd notice me clenching my thighs together. MY fucking panties were ruined that day. I was upset at you for them.

-Oh i'll get you a new one. But does that mean that right now you...

You hide your face further into his chest as if he could see you.

-Hm.. let me see it then.. - He smirked while his hand inched towards your pants, undoing them. His movements were painfully slow. He Moved two fingers up and down your clothed core, humming as if satisfied, then he pulled your panties to the side to gather some slick and bring it to his lips, licking you off of them.

-Just as i thought.. You're the sweetest thing i ever saw. - he said kissing your neck, while his hand went back into your panties, slowly circling your aching bud.

-Tell me to stop doll.. Tell me to stop and i'll do it..

You couldn't stop the moan that crept up your throat, as your breathing became uneven. You knew you wont be able to form words, but you had to let him know somehow. You got up, and he was scared he did something wrong, but then he heard your clothes being dropped on the floor, and then there you were, laying next to him, naked. A thing he dreamt about countless times since that day. He turned to you, climbing on top, slowly kissing your lips, your neck, your collarbones, stopping to play with your nipples.. The torture was the sweetest but he was so close yet so far from where you wanted him to be. The bastard took his damn time. He just planted a kiss to the side of your pussy when you whimpered under him. A silent please leaving your lips. He smiled as he dove in like a starved man. You were trying so hard to not let any voice out, but damn it was hard when this literal god was down between your legs, eating oyu out like you were his last meal.

He added two fingers soon enough.

-C'mon sweetheart i can feel you're close.. - he whispered, pistoning in and out of your pussy. - let me hear your sweet voice..

-Bu-but the others.. - you whispered between whimpers.

-Those bastards figured you're mine by now.. let them hear just how much of that is true..

The moan that left your throat was almost sinful, and you were sure everybody in the base have heard it. But you couldn't help yourself. Him being posessive... and also just HIM... you basically flew over the edge, coming aroung his fingers, soaking his beard. He helped you ride out your high with small licks, before climbing up, and gathering you in his hands.

When you tried to get up and return the favor, he held you tighter.

-But don't you want to..? - You asked.

-Oh doll trust me i want nothing more.. But i also want to take my time with you.. I hope you know this isnt just for today... or a week.. - he said before kissing you slowly.

For the first time in your life you fell asleep in a man's arms happy and content. You only hoped this wasn't a dream.

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The next morning he got up sooner than you. The events of yesterday possibly took a toll on you, so he didn't want to wake you up. Also, something about you, sleeping in his bed naked made him happier than he ever was.

When you woke up you were alone in your room. Panic settling in. Maybe he thought this was a mistake, you shouldn't have done this.

Suddenly the door opened, and there he was. Breakfast and coffee in hand.

He saw the panic in your eyes, so he quickly set everything down on the table before rushing towards you.

He planted a kiss on your lips.

God. Everything about him is simply too much and even as you stand here before him, teetered in palpable ropes of intimacy, you can't believe this is happening.

A dark spark of desire gleams in his eyes as you do as you're told and though he tries to hide it, he growls like a hungry lion watching his delicious treat. Still looking at him with that virginal stare, you get down on your knees and finally, your eyes fall on the massive beast that stands erect amid his nestle of dark curls.

"You're so big..." your voice shakes. But of course, he is. It's not for nothing that the rest of the girls in the base claim that Syverson was not born but 'engineered'. Otherwise, how would you explain such a perfect specimen?

He offers you a cocky grin but all comical sense quickly fades as he takes your chin in his coarse fingers. "How 'bout you give 'the giant' a kiss, sweetheart?"

Trembling lips part at his command. Slightly hesitant, you lean in with your eyes still altering between him and his beast until finally, you dive in and taste him.

It's just an Innocent kiss, at first, as innocent as one can be when kissing a savage. The crown of his cock is silky and hot against your lips and you can the pearly drops of pre-cum seeps against your mouth, encouraging you to take him in fully. Once again, you do as commanded.

"Fuuuuuck..." the low raspy call revarbets in your ears. Mouthfull of his cock, you open your eyes to stare back. Sy's face is a map of pleasure; his forehead furrowed, his ocean-blue glance heavy with lust and his mouth agape as he utters endless groans of pleasure.

"Deeper." Voice half-broken, he demands. You relax your throat and take him as much as you can. Tears blur your sight, and for a reason you can't quite understand, your panties begin to soak. Maybe it's the thought of that imposing, rigid cock tearing through you that makes your mound throb. Maybe it's the loss of control...

Whichever it is, you welcome it and reach a hand to massage your burning desire through your damp panties. Sy sees that but doesn't stop you. Rather than being 'mad' at your disobedience, you swear you can feel him growing thicker on your tongue.

Pulling back slightly, you leave nothing but the edge of his shaft in your mouth when Sy's hand captures the back of your head and urges himself back in.

You gag slightly, your cheeks now wet, but you don't stop. Instead, you moan around his pulsating girth and allow him to fuck your throat as he sees fit while chatting, "good girl, that's my good, good girl."

For a few moments more, he thrusts between your lips. Gasps and groans like music until he let's one final raspy cry, and your mouth fills with his hot, creamy load.

Even though he didn't ask for it, you swallow, your tongue collecting the final drops of his cream and licking the tip clean as he pulls from your mouth.

Since the very moment your beast walked through that door in uniform, you wanted nothing more than to take him on an extreme "rodeo".

Sy's deployment lasted over three months, and you weren't sure if it was the time spent apart or if he's been pumping more iron than usual, but the man that had returned home was twice the size of the man you sent out.

God! The things you wanted him to do to you...

Unfortunately, you were yet to reunite, as every day in the past two weeks, you had to cover for Simone at the hospital and returned completely drained while Sy was already snoring on the sofa.

So when Simone had finally returned, you grabbed your purse and tore through the roads, blasting "feel like making love" loudly while imagining his gleeful surprise upon seeing you're home early.

Quiet and careful, you slipped through the front door, stopping by the mirror to fix your hair and makeup. You touched up your lips when your gut suddenly dropped.

Moans and guttural growls pealed from the bedroom.

You recognised his voice...

The air drained from the house and maybe the world too. Your menstruating heart beat so hard you feared your ribcage will crack. With stinging eyes, you sauntered toward the bedroom, trembling at what you might find in there when then your eyes widened, and with a frown, you gaped as you pushed the door ajar.

Gasping, panting, your husband laid naked on the bed. His brow wrinkled, layered with sheen sweat, his hand fisted his monstrous cock urgently, and his silver eyes darted at the small tv hinged on the wall.

You tilted your head and soon realised it was the little home movie you made on a tipsy Christmas.

In a matter of seconds only, the emptiness in your gut turned to molten fire, consuming its way down your loins. With a fanged graze upon your lip, you watched his fingers stroke every tendon and ridge along his length, your abandoned little cunt mimicking the sensation inside you in an attempt to memorise how deep was the stretch of his cock inside you.

Absentmindedly, you smoothed a palm down your belly, gliding down your apex to cup your burning desire.

Lost in his delirium, he did not notice you, his gaping mouth sputtering grunts and gasps of desperation; he tugged himself harder. 

You decided to join him then. Your clothes flying off of you faster than the speed of light, your panties piling at your ankles before you slipped two fingers inside of you and moaned with bliss.

Sy snapped his head suddenly, squeezing his cock, so roughly, the crown turned raging pink. You offered a sultry smirk at his observing eyes, plundering your wet cunt desperately whilst your thumb rolled over your clit. 

"Are you going to come with me, babe?" you provoked, pushing deeper inside yourself as heat pooled at your lower belly, "are you going to spill all that good stuff all over yourself."

Sy growled and then, after a slight pause joined you, his fingers running up and down his shaft while taking you in. "Yes, and then I'm going to fuck you against the wall so hard your peach will hurt for day

"Oh," you mewled, your eyes half shutting, your walls pushing hard around your fingers as the thought of hm splitting you in half. Your mind ran images of him pushed between your thighs, your nails digging in his ass while he ground you deep in rough.

"Yeah, you stretch that pussy for daddy," he demanded with a hasty flick of a tongue on his lip, "you haven't had me in there for months, I'll make ya feel like a virgin."

"Oh, Sy!" 

Syverson gasped with astonishment, with the swell of his cock, his sack flexed against the base, announcing his inevitable climax. The tingling bliss swept over you as well while you stood there dazed at the beauty of sweat-slicken chest heaving and the look of euphoria painting his face.

"Sy, I'm gonna come!"

"Fuck, baby, come for me!"

"I want you to breed me!"

“Fuck, babygirl!”

The chants of your orgasmic bliss were swallowed by his beast-like grunts. Hearing your words pushed the neanderthal in him off the edge. You battled your eyes open, witnessing the hot creamy ribbons that coated his hand and painted his taut belly. 

You both fought to catch with your breath, glaring at one another enamoured and sated before Sy rolled off the bed and marched toward you. Pressing a hand at the base of your neck, he back you against the wall and then slipped a finger over his belly to rake a handful of his cum.

"You wanna have a baby, baby?"  

Your eyes pierced into his, and silently, you nodded.

"Hmm," he growled lowly and then replaced your fingers with his, shoving his thick juice inside your hot canal.

You shuddered and locked your hands around his wrist, holding him in. 

“I should be looking after you Nan”. You turned to look at the old woman’s face. “You lost your daughter and your son in law”.

“And you lost your parents sweetheart”. Your grandma wiped her eyes. “No matter how old you are, you’ll always be my grand baby”.

“I love you Nan”.

“I love you more”.

For awhile she just sat near you, occasionally rubbing your lower back, while you both got lost in your own thoughts.

“Why? Nan why?”. You whispered. “Some crazy kid gets high and decides to drive .. ends up killing them. Destroying our entire family with one bad decision”.

“I know sweetheart”. Your grandma paused. “Life just isn’t fair”.

“I’ve lost both of my parents at once”. You cried into the pillow. “One moment and my whole life has changed”.

“I’m here. Grandpa is here too love”.

“You don’t live here. You’ll have to go home soon Nan. I have no other family!” You sucked in a deep breath and instantly felt terrible for voicing your thoughts. You were an adult and you needed to get yourself together.

“We can move darling. Don’t you fret”. Your grandma kissed your head. “You just stop worrying. Grandpa and I can sell the farmhouse …”

“No Nan! I don’t … mum wouldn’t have wanted that”. You sniffed and rubbed your eyes. “You know how mum felt about that farm”.

“She loved you more than some darn farm”.

“Jesus”. You covered your face with your hands. “I need to get myself together. I’m 29 years old for fucks sake!”

“Watch your language sweetheart. You know how I feel about ladies who cuss”.

“Sorry Nan ..I just ..I have to get myself together”.

“No love. You have to grieve, be gentle with yourself. You need time love”. Your Grandma took your face in her old hands. “Now you listen to me love ok? Time .. you need to just let yourself feel all these emotions and you need to heal. You’re not rushing back to life or work .. I won’t allow it you hear me?”

You nodded then jumped when you heard a knock on your door. You got up slowly wondering who it could be? You’d said farewell to the last of your visitors hours ago.

“I wasn’t expecting company”. You glanced at your grandma who slowly made her way over to your door. “Grandpa might have lost his key again?”

A few moments later and you almost did a double take seeing Syverson standing in your living room holding a bouquet of white roses. He was a big man in uniform, but in jeans and a tight fitted t shirt he looked even bigger.

“Sy?” You noticed that your grandma disappeared into the kitchen. “What are you ..”

“Heard about the accident”. Sy slowly held the flowers out to you. “I just .. needed to see you. I wanted to tell you how sorry I was and .. well I just needed to check on you”.

You took the flowers and immediately bought them to your nose. Their aroma was heavenly.

“Thank you Sy”.

“Heard the service was this morning”.

“Yes”.

“I’m sorry”. Sy glanced at his feet for a moment. “I’m not good with words”.

“It’s ok .. I don’t feel like talking”.

“Right .. well I’ll get out of your hair”. He turned to leave but stopped when you spoke.

“Didnt say i wanted you to go”.

“You don’t?”

“No i just .. I’m a complete mess right now and ..”

Before you could continue Sy grabbed hold of your shoulders and pulled you close against his chest. One hand held your back while the other rested against your head.

“We’ll you’re allowed to be a mess Sugar”.

“I’m not used to being like this .. I’m normally ..”

“Dealing with head cases like myself?”

“You’ve never been a headcase”.

“You’re a bad liar”. Sy chuckled. “I was so fucked up. You helped me and … I’d like to help you”.

“Sy ..”

“No you just listen ok? I’m here for you. I’m not ..in the Military now. I’m back home and there’s no professional red tape .. it’s just me”.

“I’m not used to accepting help .. I just spent the morning pushing my friends away”. You glanced up at Sy.

“Well we’re not just friends are we? Don’t know what we are .. You were my psychiatrist. Does it even fucking matter? Just … let your guard down”.

Your grandma appeared with a tray of tea and freshly baked cookies. She smiled softly as Sy moved to take the tray from her.

“Oh thank you dear. I’m the grandma”.

“Syverson … but Sy is just fine”. Sy smiled warmly. “I just wanted to pay my respects. I’m real sorry for your loss Mam. Your granddaughter here helped me a lot … I’m ex military”.

“Thank you dear”. Your grandma paused. “I’m glad she helped you and thank you for your service”.

“You’re welcome Mam”.

“Darling are you ok if I head on out? Your grandpa just bought the car around. We’re going fo a bit of a drive .. just need to get some fresh air after this morning. That is if you’ll be ok here with Sy?”

You eyed your grandmother suspiciously but nodded before walking over to the window and checking for your grandfathers car. When you saw him you waved.

“Ok grandma. I’ll see you a bit later on?”

“Of course love”.

You felt the warmth of your grandmothers arms before you walked her to the door. You smiled at Sy as you passed him and told him to sit down on your lounge area.

“He’s a lovely young man”.

“Grandma please!” You rolled your eyes as she closed the door behind herself. You took a moment and rested your forehead against the door, smiling to yourself. Your grandma really was the sweetest woman.

“I’m back”. You sat down in the sofa next to Sy and immediately tucked your legs in. He handed you a cup of tea and you thanked him before bringing the mug to your lips.

“This is good tea”. Sy commented.

“Yeah Nan knows her tea”. You smiled and pointed at the cookies. “Try those. They’re her famous sugar cookies. Normally she makes them on Christmas but … she knows how much I love them”.

“Your Nan lives by?” Sy stuffed a cookie into his mouth. “These are amazing by the way”.

“My grandparents live on a farm .. a few hours drive. They’ve lived there since before I was born”.

“Other family?”

“My mum was an only child. My Dad had a younger brother but he died when he was young”. You paused. “My dads parents passed away when I was a baby”.

“Right .. well your lucky to have your two lovely grandparents”. Sy smiled. “And visiting their farm every now and then would be nice … get away from the busy city life”.

“Yeah ..” You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I just .. feel so odd right now. Like I’m scared of being alone”.

“Hey”. Sy moved closer. “That’s not odd and you’re not alone”.

“I’m a mess”. You breathed in deeply.

“You’re allowed to be”. Sy reached for your hand. “You’re used to dealing with head cases like myself … sometimes you’re going to be in a position where you’re not so strong yourself”.

“Sy thank you”. You studied his face. “For the visit and the flowers .. it was really nice of you. But trust me I’ll be ok. I just need some time to process things .. but then I .. well I’ll be back at work”.

“You really have no idea ..” Sy scratched his head. “Your boss won’t give you time off?”

“No my boss has been great. He told me to take leave ..”

“Then do it. Take your time .. I don’t .. I don’t start work for a few weeks?”

“What are you saying?” You were confused. You watched him fidget with the rim of his mug.

“If you don’t mind company … I’d like to spend time with you”

“Spend time with me?” You chewed on your bottom lip. “With me?”

“Yeah .. you’d be doing me a favor too. Otherwise I’d just be wasting my time tinkering with some old motorbikes I’ve got lying around”. Sy smiled at you. “So what do you say?”

“Ok?” You stammered. “I might not be the best company though?”

“I might not be either”.

“I’ve just .. well .. my parents just died”. You blurted out.

“And I’ve just started sleeping at night. Some nights I still wake up screaming”. Sy stared at you. “You helped me. Let me .. let me be there please?”

The weeks that followed bought you many things - peace, closure and friendship. You shared many days and nights with Sy and when you were feeling down he’d always call you. A few times you fell asleep to the sound of his voice at night.

One night he’d opened up to you while you cuddled up in your bed, phone rested against you ear. He told you about the things he saw during his time in the military that still haunted him and admitted to you that he’d wrote a letter to his parents that he kept in his bag - just in case he never made it home.

More weeks past and you noticed a shift between you both. You smiled more. You eyes seemed to hold his gaze. Talking about your parents didn’t make you sob uncontrollably - yes you were still heartbroken, but Sy was encouraging you to do some of the things your parents enjoyed doing. So you did - you read your mum’s book collection, took Sy along the hiking trails your Dad used to walk on, went fishing on the lake and started following your mum’s cake receipes with your Nan.

One day you were mixing the batter of your mums famous chocolate cake with your grandma in the kitchen when it suddenly dawned on you..

“Nan I think I’ll be ok if you and grandpa head back to the farm”.

“Love I told you before ..”

“Nan I’m ok”. You paused. “It’s not the same but you were right … I needed this time. What happened has been a lot to process”.

“Sy has been a big help”. Your grandma smiled softly. “He’s a lovely man”.

“Yeah he is”.

“Love … do you like him?”

“Sy? Oh .. I used to help him .. it’s complicated”.

“Why is it complicated?”

“Well … he’s just .. trying to help because I helped him you know?” You avoided your grandmas gaze as you spooned the batter into the greased pan. “He’s just a nice guy that’s all”.

“You think that’s he’s been hanging around for the past 6 weeks just because he owed you a favour?”

“Nan …”

“Sweetie … I think he’s a lovely young man. And maybe yes that was his original intention, but I think things have changed. I may be old but I see the way he looks at you”.

“Oh Nan ..”

“And you look at him the same way”.

You paused and looked up at the old woman’s smiling face. You smiled then rolled your eyes.

“Nan I’m not ready .. I just lost mum and dad”.

“You think there’s a time? I met your grandfather the same day the neighbours son kissed me. I didn’t like him at all. Your grandfather was helping to build the farm across from us and saw me upset. We got talking and the rest is history”.

“I never new that!” You laughed. “The neighbors son kissed you?”

“Roger”. Your grandma shook her head. “Nice enough boy but there was no … chemistry there. So what I’m trying to say is that I know those looks love. I can see it”.

You sighed and put the cake into the oven. You knew better than to argue with your grandmother.

“I’m sure he’s … taken. Maybe he has someone … maybe long distance since he’s moved a lot”. You blurted out.

“Has someone?” Your grandmother laughed. “Love .. you think he’d be spending all this time with you if he had someone else he was sweet on?”

“Maybe he’s not looking Nan .. he’s been through a lot. Leaving the army, moving back here .. starting a new job”.

“Quit making excuses sweetie! Just see what happens! Open that beautiful heart of yours”. Your grandma hugged you.

“Ok ok”. You relaxed into her embrace. “Promise me you’ll go back to the farm please? I’m so grateful to you both but I’m navigating things. I’m ok Nan”. You held her gaze until she smiled and the little wrinkles around her eyes deepened. She nodded and you hugged her again.

You decided to frost your cake and take it to Sy’s as a surprise. He didn’t know that you were coming but you hoped that he would be home. You saw his truck so quickly rang the bell holding the cake platter in front of you. The smile on your face faded when a woman opened the door.

“Uh hello? Can I help you?” The blonde smiled warmly but your stomach turned into knots. She was stunning.

“Oh I .. I was just ..” You suddenly felt light headed. How stupid could you have been? He was just being polite. He had someone he was dating. He just wanted to repay you for helping him .. like you were some long overdue debt.

“Were you after Sy?”

“Here”. You shoved the cake into the blondes hands. “Enjoy that. I baked it .. god knows why I showed up here with a stupid fucking cake anyway”.

“Whoa!” The blonde tried to reach for your arm. “Hey, I’ll just ..”

“I’ve got to go”. You quickly rushed to your car, ignoring the woman’s feeble attempts to explain .. whatever the situation was. You felt incredibly stupid knowing that you’d interrupted Sy. Or was it more? Your face burned and your heart hammered against your chest. No it was defiantly more. You felt jealous too. You quickly started your car knowing that you needed to get away fast but your hands were shaking.

“Hey!”

You glanced up in horror as Sy rushed towards your car after talking with the blonde. If you weren’t already mortified enough ..

Suddenly your car door was opened and Sy was bending down to look at you. You reached for the door but he had wedged his leg inside.

“I have to go”.

“Get out of the bloody car”.

You looked up when you heard his tone. He sounded pissed.

“Sy I have to go”.

“I said get out”. Sy moved to unfasten your seat belt. “I aint asking again”.

“I’m going home”.

“Not until you meet Becky”.

You looked at him is disgust. So her name was Becky? Did he enjoy seeing you in such discomfort?

“I don’t think ..”

“My sister Becky”. Sy raised his eyebrow at you and motioned for you to get out. “Seems like you didn’t really get introduced before”.

“Your sister?” Your face burned. “She’s your sister?”

“My baby sister yes”. Sy held open the door as you struggled to get out. Your arms instantly wrapped around your body as you glanced to where the blonde stood holding your chocolate cake. You were so embarrassed when she waved at you hesitantly.

“She stopped by … she’s here for the weekend”. Sy scratched his neck. “College break”.

“Oh I .. “

“You thought she was a girl I picked up?”

“No .. I mean …”

“You did”.

“I just .. I thought I was interrupting”. You stared at the ground.

“I would have told you if I was seeing someone”.

“Well I .. I just .. god Sy what do you want me to say?”

“How bout why you’re here dropping off a cake?” Sy held your gaze. “Why you got so upset seeing Becky here? And don’t go telling me some god dammed excuse that you thought you we’re interrupting ..”

“I .. baked a cake. And I .. thought of you”. You wiped your sweaty palms on your dress wishing the earth would open up and swallow you.

“Why’d you go thinking of me?”

“Sy ..”

“Tell me”.

“I just .. I thought ..”

“Just tell me”. Sy grabbed hold of your shoulders.

You sucked in a breath and glanced in Beckys direction. You watched as she took the cake and walked inside.

“Im scared Sy .. I can’t”.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t know how … and then so much has happening you know?”

“I can stand here all day”. Sy’s voice was almost rough as his eyes pleaded with you.

“Why .. I mean why have you been there for me lately? Is it because of your time in the army? Some idea that you needed to repay me?” You sucked in a breath.

“Is that what you think?”

“I .. I don’t know Sy. I don’t want to read more into it”.

“I’m not playing that game”. Sy let go of your shoulders and took a step back. Your insides churned immediately. “I asked you .. don’t turn the tables”.

“Sy”

“I made it darn obvious. Now you tell me why you’re at my door looking all pretty in your floral dress, holding out a cake that you know that I’ll love”. Sy paused. “Tell me .. I’m not asking you again”.

“You made it obvious? Didn’t I just make it obvious too? I haven’t just rocked up here for no good reason now have i? And this dress ..” you touched the fabric with your hands. “It’s new! So I obviously wore it because .. well I thought you’d like it”.

“Say it!” Sy grabbed your face with both hands. “For fuck’s sake woman just say it!”

“I want you! There you go I said it!” Your eyes filled with tears. “But I’m scared you don’t want me! And I’m scared that you’ll think I’m a headcase who’s just lost her parents and now is looking to fill that hole!”.

“There you go”. Sy smiled softly. “I really needed to hear you say it … been losing my mind”

“Do you? Do you feel the same?”

“You really have to ask me that?”. Sy smiled then shook his head. “Love, I’ve been infactuated by you the moment I first saw you. But I could never do anything about it”. Sy touched your cheek. “Wouldnt have been appropriate since you were working for the army”.

“You always liked me?”

“Course I did .. you’re god dammed beautiful and so smart. Thought you were way too good for me though”. Sy inched closer to you and your hands immediately gripped into his t shirt, pulling him towards you.

“Kiss me Sy”. You whispered.

“Was planning to”.

Next thing you felt his lips on yours. They were warm and full, and as he opened his mouth he tasted like mint and sugar. You felt your head spin, your heart beat fast and you were certain that you’d bent your knee - just like they did in old fashioned movies. Sy had ruined you with just one kiss. Suddenly you felt him break away, inhale deeply then kiss you again. This time was different. He had you backed up against your car, his large frame trapping you in a way that made your legs turn to jelly. His hands gripped the sides of your floral dress, pulling your body so flush against him that you could feel every muscle.

“Sy”. You moaned you broke apart for air.

“Can’t wait till you’re fucking screaming my name”. Sy groaned into your neck. “But I think I should date you for a bit first, where are my manners?”. Sy looked at you, a smirk on his face.

“I’d like that”.

“Me dating you or you screaming my name?”

“Sy!!” You playfully pushed against his chest but he quickly grabbed at your thighs and you instinctively jumped up, wrapping them around his waist. He turned to reverse your positions, with him now leaning up against your car.

“Why did we wait so long to do this?”

“I don’t know”.

“You gonna be my girl Sugar?” Sy suddenly asked you as he raised an eyebrow.

“Yes”. You couldn’t help the smile that broke out on your face. “Sy?”

“Yeah?”

“Mum and Dad would have really liked you”.

“I’m sure I would have liked them even more”. Sy brushed a strand of hair out of your face. “And I know that because they made such a beautiful daughter who I have fallen for”.

“I feel like these past few weeks you have gotten to know them”.

“I have”. Sy smiled. “I know all your dads hiking trails and his favourite places to fish. I know your mum was an incredible cook and I’ve enjoyed rewatching some of her favorite movies with you”. Sy’s hands gripped your ass even closer to him and you bumped your nose against his.

“You know what we have to do now?”

“I can think of a few things?” Sy smirked but waited patiently for you to finish.

“I think .. you need to try my cake. And I think ..” you kissed his lips. “I need to say hello to your sister?”

“Yes to both of those but right now I wanna kiss you some more”.

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You sigh, and fidget, dancing from foot to foot, pulling at your low cut, black satin top and drawing your faux fur lined coat closed.

“Shit,” you utter under your breath. Caroline must have gone out. You’re about to hang up when you hear the click and thunk of the line successfully connecting.

Music and voices burst from the receiver and you jerk your head away from the speaker.

“Hello,” you say cautiously, worried you may have dialled the wrong number in your numb stupor. “Caroline?”

“Hello?” says the voice. You exhale a held breath with relief as you recognise Caroline's voice. At least you had called the right number. “Hello, I can barely hear you.”

Even though it’s uncomfortable, you press the speaker to your ear and cup the receiver around your hand and speak loudly, looking around cautiously at the other people using the bank of telephones.

“Caroline. It’s me!” you say loudly, just shy of shouting.

“Hang on, I’ll grab the other line in my bedroom.” 

It takes Caroline a few moments and you dig into your purse, pulling out another quarter and dropping it into the slot. You hear her pick up the other line and she shouts something out and the call becomes blessedly quiet.

“Hey,” she says a little breathlessly, “you there? What happened to your date?”

“I ended it early. It sucked Caroline,” you sigh, “Do you think you could come and pick me up. I stupidly agreed to let him drive me.”

“Ah, shit I can’t,” she says, “My brother and some of his friends came over and, well, we’ve all been drinkin’.” 

It wasn’t unusual for her to have people over on the weekends, she was a bit of a party animal. In a way you were a perfect pair, you tempered her most crazy instincts and she brought you out of your shell. But right now, going home to her brother Sy and all his meathead friends was not what you had in mind. Especially not Sy.

“Fuck,” you mutter, “Sy’s there?”

“Yeah,” she says, “hang on, he drove here. He hasn’t drunk much I don’t think. Maybe he can pick you up. Let me ask him.”

“No, no, no,” you say quickly, “I’ll call a cab.”

But it’s too late, you can hear Caroline shouting for him and after an extended pause you can hear her relaying your request.

“Hey, Sugar,” Sy’s rich drawl echoes down the line and you bite your lip. 

“Hey, Sy,” you say shyly.

God, you hate that you aren’t completely over the crush you had on him in high school. You’re mostly over it; you don’t obsess over him like you did as a teen, but sometimes those old feelings rear their head again at the most inconvenient times.

“Need a rescue, huh?” he teases.

You smile, he likes to rag on you sometimes and you give it back, usually. You aren’t in the mood to reciprocate, but you appreciate his efforts. You almost tell him no, that you’ll just catch a cab despite the expense, you don’t want to put him out. But you also know Sy, if he didn’t want to help you, he wouldn’t have offered.

“Please?” you ask.

“Anytime, Sugar,” he says, warmly, “Now, where are ya?”

You see Sy’s blue truck about twenty minutes later. He pulls up in front of you, rolls the window down and grins.

“Hey, baby. How much?” He wiggles his eyebrows at you obscenely.

You shake your head and suppress a smile. Less than a second in his presence and he makes you want to laugh. Why can’t any of the guys you date make you feel like he does?

“You can’t afford me,” you scoff. 

He chuckles as he leans across the passenger seat and opens the door for you. You climb in, the truck is so high you have to stand on the side step then bend at the waist so you don't hit your head. Your top is so low, you are worried about flashing your tits at Sy with your body at this angle. You quickly glance at him and he’s already turning his head away. Feeling a little embarrassed, a ripple of heat works its way down your spine and you tug at the edge of your top to keep it from revealing too much. 

Sy taps the wheel in time to the barely audible rock playing through the stereo and waits until you’re settled before driving away from the curb.

“Thanks for picking me up, Sy,” you say.

“Like I said, anytime.” He glances at you and you smile back, but he narrows his eyes. “You ok?”

You shrug. “I guess.”

“Wanna talk about it?” he asks in that soft tone he has when he’s serious.

You sigh. You consider laying it all out for him, telling him about how frustrated you are. It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve unloaded your problems on him. But these problems were different, they were… a little too personal.

“I’m ok,” you lie.

Sy grunts. He knows you well enough to see that you’re not telling him the truth, but he accepts that you don’t want to talk.

You travel for a few minutes in silence and your date replays over in your mind. There was nothing wrong with it really. It had been a good evening, he had been nice, funny, and he was attractive. But when he kissed you during the movie, you had felt nothing. Not a tingle. Not a skipped heart beat. Not a single butterfly. You knew then and there, the relationship was going to go nowhere.

You had tried to be with guys you didn’t feel a spark with before, thinking that over time things would get better, but it never did. As soon as the movie was finished and you made your way back to his car, you told him you weren’t interested. He took it well; he wasn’t a dick about it and still wanted to drive you home. You refused, telling him Caroline was on her way to come and get you.

Sy stops at a set of traffic lights and placing the calloused edge of his finger under your chin, he turns your face to his. You inhale sharply at the contact. It's not fair that one touch from Sy makes you feel more than any guy you have ever dated. His lips tighten into a tight line as he looks you over.

“He didn’t hurt ya did he?” he asks in a voice that's as sharp as a knife’s edge.

“No, Sy,” you reply, placing your hand on his wrist and pushing it aside gently.

“Something happened,” Sy persists, “you look like you’re about to cry.”

“It’s not about him,” you say softly.

Sy looks at you for a long time, his lower lip sucked into his mouth as he studied you. You make yourself meet his gaze so he knows you’re telling the truth. The lights change and he inhales deeply through his nose before he turns his attention back to the road.

When Sy pulls up at your place, you see the number of cars and realise Caroline had invited more than just a few of Sy’s friends over. Your house was pumping with music and there were cars everywhere.

“God damn it, Caroline,” you mutter. 

Normally it wouldn’t bother you that there were people over, but tonight, you just couldn’t face it. Sy takes his seatbelt off and is about to open his door but you put your hand on his arm to stop him.

“Sy, can we… Can we just sit here a moment? I don’t want to go in yet.”

“Okay,” he says slowly, leaning back into his seat. He looks down at his hands, notices something and rubs at the skin of his thumb.

You close your eyes and lean against the headrest. Your mind is buzzing with thoughts, but they seem to fly through your head so quickly you can’t pin them down. Well except for one. 

You’re going to end up alone.

“Fuck,” you mumble as you angrily wipe at a tear that runs down your cheek.

“That’s it! You tell me what that mother fucker did to you and…”

“He didn’t do anything, Sy,” you say tersely. “I ended it, he was good about it… I just…” your chin trembles and you look away as more tears spill from your eyes.

“Oh hell,” Sy mumbles and he unfastens your belt and wraps his arms around you.

You cry harder as he presses you to his chest. You can’t stop. Each sob rips through you; your throat aches, your chest feels like it's going to burst through your ribs while your shoulders and stomach cramp awfully.

Sy lays the palm of his hand flat on your back and rubs big circles over you while he gently rocks you. No wonder you always had a crush on him; no man has ever made you feel as safe as Sy does. He drops his head low so his voice rumbles in your ear, “You’re good, baby, I’ve got you.”

You don’t know how long you cried for. By the time you stop crying, you feel a little silly, like you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. So this guy isn’t the one, what's the big deal really? There’s plenty of others out there. It's not like he dumped you, it was your decision after all. 

Sy doesn’t stop holding you even when you start to sniffle and your eyes run dry. You lift your head from Sy’s shoulder and although he relaxes his embrace, he doesn’t let you go. 

“I’m sorry, Sy.”

“Don’t be,” he reassures you, “Sometimes we’ve just gotta let it all out.”

“Can’t imagine you ever having a cry like that.”

“No, but you should see me trying to murder the punching bag during PT,” he grins.

You don’t think he means to put the thought of him shirtless, dripping with sweat, lip curled in anger and grunting as he takes his frustrations out on the leather bag, but it doesn’t stop the vivid image from being thrust into the forefront of your mind.

“Do you want to go inside yet?” Sy asks softly, “We don’t have to, we could go get a bite to eat if you need more time. I’ll give Carol a call when we get there and tell her to kick everyone out if ya want?”

“No, I don't want to ruin everyone’s good time because I had a shitty night.”

“Just wanna ruin mine, huh?”

“Sy…” you half whine and half laugh.

“How about we go eat then come back?” he suggests.

“I think I should just go to sleep. I’ll feel better in the morning. Just give me another minute.”

Sy is quiet for a moment then says, “I’ll take ya to my place. You ain’t gonna be able to sleep with all that going on. You can stay the night.”

“Sy thats sweet of you, but I don’t want to sleep in these clothes and your friends are all inside and—”

“My friend,” he says firmly, giving you a squeeze, “is right here. And you can borrow some of my clothes.” He finally lets you go and says, “C’mon, put your belt on. I ain’t takin’ no for an answer.”

It feels a little strange being in Sy’s apartment. It had been a while since you had been to his place. Years in fact. He’d been gone for so long, first to boot camp and other training, then later officer training and finally Special Forces selection and several deployments.

He was always in and out of your life and in a way you were glad. Because he wasn’t around to moon over all the time, it had made moving on from your silly crush easier. Plus, being reacquainted with him over the last few years had let your friendship develop beyond him being just your best friend's older brother and a guy to lust over. You got to know him, the real him and you valued his friendship.

Still, there were boundaries despite how close you two had become and being alone with him in his home wasn’t one you had crossed yet.

After placing your bag on a rack by the door, you take your heels off while Sy disappears into what you assume is his bedroom. He comes back a few moments later with an AC/DC t-shirt and some sweatpants. 

“Do you wanna take a shower or anything?” he asks as he hands you his clothes.

You consider it for a minute, but decide you can wait until the morning. “No, I'll just wash my make-up off.” Sy nods and leads you to the bathroom and gives you a towel to dry your face with. 

After you wash you assess the damage the crying had done. Your mascara and eyeliner are waterproof, so they’re mostly in place, but your eyes are puffy and lined with red. You know it's only going to be worse tomorrow, but there really isn’t anything you can do about it now. You dress in Sy’s clothes, and you pull the drawstring of the sweats tight so they don’t fall as you walk and you roll the bottoms up too so you don't trip. 

You take one last look in the mirror and sigh. You feel a little pathetic. You should have just gone home. Now you’re stuck at Sy’s place wearing his freaking clothes for God’s sake. You almost laugh at the irony of it all; a few years ago you would probably have killed to be in this position and now that you had gotten over your crush (mostly), here you are. You’re older now, realistic, you know nothing is ever going to happen between you and Sy. If it was, it would have already happened. 

You wipe under your eyes again and you recognise that you're stalling. You can’t put it off any longer, so, taking a final deep breath, you go back to Sy.

When you come out, you ask him for something to put your clothes in. He goes to his kitchen and returns carrying a small plastic bag. He holds it open for you while you carefully place your jeans and top inside.

“I called Caroline and let her know you’re stayin’ here so she won’t worry,” Sy says, hanging your clothes on the rack next to your bag.

“Thanks,” you say. “Is she ok with me staying here?”

“She’s a little worried about what happened to you, so expect an interrogation in the mornin’,” he says, rolling his eyes.

You half smile. That's not quite what you were asking but you decide not to question his response. “Of course.”

“Are you ready for bed?” he asks. “You can have my bed, I’ll take the couch. Okay?”

You nod, you know you should argue with him, insist on taking the couch, but you know Sy, he won’t change his mind. “Thanks, Sy.”

He dips his head, acknowledging your thanks then just keeps looking at you with a small smile on his face. You return his smile weakly, then turn towards his room.

“Come ‘ere,” he says with a soft growl, and he grabs at your t-shirt, drawing you into his arms. 

You can’t say how many times Sy’s hugged you like this, too many times. And like all the other times you're overwhelmed by him, by his size, his warmth, his strength, his scent and you melt into his embrace. He cups the back of your head, tilting it until you’re looking down and kisses you on the crown.

“Baby?” he murmurs into your ear.

“Yeah?” God, your voice is so hoarse you barely recognise it.

You hear him take a breath like he’s about to speak but then he exhales and swallows before speaking.

“You gonna be okay?” he asks in that low soothing tone he’s used all night. You nod and he lets you go. “You need anythin’, I’ll be here. Gonna stay up and watch some TV for a bit.”

You nod again and go to bed.

Sleep is elusive; you toss and turn. Sy’s bed is comfortable, and you’re mentally exhausted, but you just can’t relax. Not only are you caught up in replaying the disappointing kiss in the movie theatre, you can’t stop thinking about Sy. Surrounded by his covers, engulfed in his scent, you can’t help but remember the warmth of his body and the pleasant weight of his arms as he holds you.

It annoys you, frustrates you, and makes your heart ache. You remind yourself that you’re escaping into old fantasies, equating the feelings of your unrequited crush to your current sense of loneliness. You know you’re only thinking about Sy like this because of what happened on your date. Your romantic feelings toward Sy aren’t real, they aren’t based in anything tangible and are not reciprocated. You're his little sister’s best friend, of course he’d be nice to you tonight like he always was. It didn’t mean anything.

Eventually you get up. You’re just going to get a drink of water before trying to go to sleep again. You won’t disturb Sy, you’ll just quietly go through the family room to the kitchen and you’ll have your drink before going back to bed. That's it.

The TV is on with the volume turned down low. Sy is shirtless on the couch, he’s too big for it and his feet hang over the armrest, barely covered by the blanket he has over his legs. He has one arm raised and bent behind his head and the other is below the cover. Your eyes widen and heat floods your cheeks as you think of what else is under there.

Shit. 

You turn back to Sy’s room; it’s fine, you don't really need a drink. But before you can take a step, you hear his voice, “Sugar?”

Shit. 

You turn back and see moving into a seated position, pulling the blankets up with him.

“Can't sleep?” he asks. You shake your head. He gives you a sympathetic smile, “Me neither.”

You nod and look around the room, trying not to stare too long at Sy’s chest. He’s always had an amazing body, and he isn’t shy about it, frequently spending summer barbecues shirtless. But it’s different being alone in his apartment when he’s half naked and feels a little inappropriate. 

You peer back at him and he’s just staring at you, like he’s waiting for you to say something. You point to the TV. 

“What are you watching?”

“Armageddon. Have you seen it?”

“Yeah. Once at the movies when it came out. It wasn’t bad.”

“Wanna watch it with me?” Sy asks.

Shit.

“Sure,” you say hesitantly. Your mouth is suddenly a little dry. Maybe you should get that drink first.

Sy swings his legs off the couch and pats the cushion next to him with a small jerk of his head.

You swallow hard as you sit on the opposite end of the couch, curling your legs up under you and leaning your head on the armrest. He rearranges the blanket so you both have some and settles into his corner, putting his arm on the back of the couch.

For a while you watch the movie in silence, sometimes one or both of you chuckle at a joke, but mostly you are quiet. The movie is supposed to just be a popcorn flick, it's not supposed to be that deep, nevertheless, you find yourself invested in the love story. And while it's cringe inducing, the scene with Ben Affleck’s character playing with the animal crackers on Liv Tyler's belly hits you hard. You’ve never experienced that kind of intimacy with a guy and you’re starting to think you never will.

“Sy?” 

He hums.

“Do you ever…” you pause and shake your head, “Nevermind.”

“No, go on, Sugar.” Sy mutes the tv and turns his body to face you.

You look down at the blanket and play with the edge. “Do you ever worry you'll be alone forever?” 

He raises an eyebrow. “Askin’ the big questions tonight I see.”

You shrug. “I just… sometimes I think I'm never gonna find someone. I’m never gonna fall in love.”

His brows draw together, “You’ve never been in love?”

“That stuff you hear about in movies and books, the sparks, the skipped heartbeats, the butterflies, the constant yearning, the need to be with them all the time. I've never felt that really.”

“Never?”

“Other than silly teenage crushes,” you bite your lip, you shouldn’t have mentioned that. You quickly deflect. “You have, haven't you? With Anna?”

“Yeah,“ he says with a half smile, “Yeah I loved her.”

“Do you miss her?”

Sy inhales deeply and studies his hands a moment, taking your question seriously. He looks at you before he speaks. “It’s complicated. I miss the feelings, I miss knowin’ I had someone, someone to be with, but I dont miss her.”

“You miss being in a relationship?”

“Yeah,” he chuckles, “and the sex, I miss the sex.”

You giggle and look away. “I’m sure you have no problem getting sex, Sy.”

He smirks and shrugs, conceding your point. “Yeah, I could get sex, but… It’s different when you’re in love. Feels different. I miss that sex.”

“At least you’ve had it once. I never have.”

“Wait, you’ve never had sex?”

“I’ve had sex, just not that amazing, loving, the world disappears and its just the two of you, sex. It’s never been good,” you pause and look at Sy and you before you can stop yourself you add, “I’ve never even had an orgasm.”

“What? Ever?”

“I have… alone…” you squirm a little in the seat, berating yourself for even bringing it up.

“Assholes,” Sy says.

“It's not really their fault,” you explain and Sy raises his eyebrows, “I mean they tried, it's just that I can’t seem to… get over the line.”

“You mean you get in your head? You overthink it?”

“Maybe,” you say, “I start wondering if I’m too loud. Am I taking too long? If I taste—” you stop talking, suddenly realising what you’re saying and who you’re saying it to. Your eyes meet Sy’s and you can’t breathe; he's looking at you in a way you’ve never seen him look at you before. He’s biting his lip, his eyes are dark and hooded. You turn away. “Nevermind.”

Sy clears his throat and an awkward silence descends between you as you both stare at the television.

“So, that crush you had,” Sy glances at you, “Anyone I know?”

“It was in high school, Sy. And I’m over it.” Completely over it.

“I ain’t over my high school crush,” he says with a smirk.

“What? Really?” you ask surprised. “You… you dated all the time, and all the popular girls… Why didn’t you ask her out?”

“It was complicated,” he says, “she was sorta off limits.”

“Who was she?”

“She was a sophomore when I was a senior.”

“Wait. She was in my year?” you ask, surprised again by Sy’s admission. “Was she one of Caroline’s friends? Was that why she was off limits?” 

He nods. “She never actually said I couldn’t date any of her friends, but… Anyway, I never said anything.” 

You nibble on your lip, thinking back to who it could have been. “Was it Leanne Newman?”

Sy scrunches his face up, “No.” You open your mouth to guess again but Sy cuts you off. “I ain’t playing a guessin’ game with you.”

“You can’t tell me you had a crush on one of our friends and not tell me who it is.”

“Sure you wanna know?” Sy asks, his face is impassive and you’re unable to get a read on him.

“Well yeah, what does it matter now?” you grin and say teasingly, “Are you worried I’ll tell her? You getting shy on me, Syverson?”

He doesn’t smile back or take the bait. Instead he stares at you while he pulls his lower lip into his mouth. Then he shakes his head. “Now's not the time.” He puts his arm around your shoulders and tries to get you to lay your head on his chest. “Ask me another time.”

You push away from him and sit up, “Why are you being all weird about this? You were the one who brought it up.”

His jaw clenches. “Well who was yours?” he asks, his annoyance plain by his curt tone.

You shift uncomfortably. “It’s not important,” you throw the blankets back and stand, “I think I’ll be able to sleep now.” 

That’s a lie, but this conversation is heading in a strange direction and you’ve had enough for one night.

Sy stands too, the covers falling from his legs and you realise all he has on are a pair of boxer briefs. Your face heats, mortified that you had sat there all that time and all he had been wearing was underwear.

“So you’re not going to tell me?” Sy says, completely unperturbed by the fact he was nearly naked.

“You’re not going to tell me yours,” you fold your arms across your chest and try to focus on his face. He looks away as he runs his tongue over his teeth and you recognise it as a sign of frustration. You throw your hands up in the air, completely exasperated, “This is ridiculous, Sy. I can’t believe we’re arguing about this.”

“It’s you,” he says.

“Me?” you say, your voice rising, becoming shrill, “I’m not doing anything!”

“No, Sugar,” he says softly, meeting your eyes, “The sophomore. It was you.”

You take a step back and stiffen. You feel an icy chill weave its way up your spine. 

“That’s not funny, Sy,” you say, your voice quivering in disbelief. 

“Do I look like I’m joking?” he says soberly as he takes a step closer to you. 

You have to admit, he does look serious. You shake your head as you drop your gaze to the floor, unable to look at him. You can’t believe him, no way; he’s never even hinted his interest in you.

“Sugar,” he says gruffly, “I told you mine, are you gonna tell me yours?” 

His hand cups your cheek and the contact makes your skin tingle all over as if you can feel his touch everywhere. You gasp as he runs his thumb over your cheek, then over your lips and jaw before tracing your throat to the hollow at the base of your neck.

“Or am I gonna have to guess?” he asks, with a cocky smirk.

“How do you know?” you ask, your voice weak with breathlessness, “How do you know it was you?”

“I had a hunch.” His pink tongue slips quickly between his lips, making his lips shine with the reflection of the tv screen. “A hope that maybe you feel the same way I do. I wasn’t sure.”

“But I’m over you,” you say more to yourself than to him.

“That's a damn shame,” Sy says in a tone so low you barely make out the words, “Cause I ain’t ever gonna get over you.”

He licks his lips again and his eyes trace the path of his thumb as he caresses your jaw. Then he meets your eyes and he takes a half step closer, your bodies almost touching. His lips part, his head dips and his eyelids start to close.

Oh God. He’s going to kiss you.

This can’t be real, there is no way after all this time that tonight he’s going to confess that he’s had feelings for you. Since high school no less. 

Why now?

What changed?

You gasp and firmly hold his shoulders, stopping his advance. You know why he’s saying it and it makes your stomach clench.

“You’re just saying this because of what I said,” you accuse and Sy’s eyes fly open and his head snaps to attention. “You feel sorry for me don’t you?”

“Feel sorry for you?”

Frustrated you push away from him, tears threatening again as you head to his kitchen. You thought Sy was better than this, a man that would never use your feelings against you like this. Did he really think you’d fall for it?

“I don’t need a pity fuck, Sy.”

“A pity fuck?” Sy says, incredulously as he follows you.

“Are you just going to repeat everything I say?”

You lift the receiver on his wall mounted phone and start dialling.

“Sugar, what are you doin’?” Sy asks, sounding confused. “Who you callin’?”

“A cab,” you say roughly, “I’m leaving.”

“You’re leaving?” he says, sounding offended.

“Stop repeating everything I say!”

“Sugar, I just laid my heart out and you…”

Your head jerks up and you see bewilderment in his pinched brow. He keeps advancing on you, hesitantly, as if at any moment he expected you to tell him to stop. And you want to. You open your mouth to tell him so, but the look in his eyes gives you pause.

He leans into you, trapping your body against the counter. His hands cover your cheeks. “Baby, I mean it, I ain’t lyin’ to you. I feel somethin’ every time I touch ya. Every time you smile at me I feel like I’m about to break out in a sweat. When you cry it makes my chest ache and I...” His arm coils around your back and he rests his weight against you, “If you don’t want me, fine, okay; I’ll let ya go and you can call your cab. But I don’t want you to leave thinkin’ I lied to you.”

“Why haven't you told me this before?”

“Baby, I wanted to. So many times,” he chuckles bitterly and lowers his head. “I thought I was over you, we were kids, and I was gone then you were gone. But every time I came back and saw you,” his voice lowers to nearly a whisper, “I knew I was never gonna stop wantin’ to be with you.”

God, this is too much. This is crazy, just crazy. And you just can’t deal with it.

“I want to go home, Sy,” you manage to rasp as tears well in your eyes again.

Sy doesn’t move for a moment, and you think maybe he won’t let you leave. Then he sniffs and takes a step back, without looking at you. “Okay,” he says, “Yeah, okay.”

A piercing pain strikes your chest at the dejected sound of his voice. “I’m sorry, Sy. I…”

He holds a hand out to you, gesturing you to stop. “It’s ok, you don’t gotta explain,” He rubs his hand over his head and down his face, “I’m uh… I’ll let ya make your call,” he says as he turns away and leaves the kitchen.

You call the cab company with shaking fingers. You think you’re going to have to call out to Sy to get his address, but you discover a few bills stuck to his fridge. After you hang up, you find some tissues, bundle them up and stick them in the pocket of your pants, certain you’re going to need them for the ride home.

Shit.

You are wearing Sy’s clothes. You go to the rack by the door and grab your bag, intending to change before you leave.

“You don’t have to change,” Sy says, from behind you. You turn to him and notice that he’s put on a t-shirt, sweats and some shoes. “Keep ‘em. Or give ‘em back another time.”

God, he sounds so broken, so hurt, and awfully resigned. 

“Sy, I…” you start to cry again; you can’t stop the tears.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Sy draws you into his arms, “Easy now, it’s ok.”

You shake your head into his chest. It's not okay. It won't ever be okay between you again. You know that. You know your relationship has changed forever. You feel like shit. Here you are rejecting him, telling him you’re not interested and he’s the one holding you while you cry. No matter how good it feels to be in his embrace, you can’t take comfort from him anymore. It's not fair to him.

Taking a deep breath to compose yourself, you slide out of Sy’s arms. You slip your shoes on, feeling utterly ridiculous in your heels and put your coat on. Sy reaches for his coat too and when you’re ready to leave, he opens the door for you and walks you out.

When he opens his building's front door, the icy chill of the night air slices through Sy’s t-shirt and your thin coat, taking your breath away. You start to shiver immediately.

“Sy, it’s freezing. You don’t have to wait with me.”

He just shakes his head and walks you to the street. “How long did they say they’d be?”

“Ten minutes,” you tell him.

He nods and sticks his hands in his pockets and you put yours under your arms, stepping from foot to foot trying to keep warm.

“Think it’ll rain later?” Sy asks looking up at the cloudy night sky.

“Sy, you don’t have to do this,” you say, “you don’t have to pretend that everythings okay.”

“I’m just talkin’. Ain’t we able to talk now that I’ve made a complete fool of myself?” he grins, making light of the situation.

“You didn’t…” Sy glances at you out of the corner of his eyes, and you shake your head. “Not a complete fool.”

“Just a li’l bit then,” he surmises.

You shrug. He really hadn’t misinterpreted anything. You look down at your feet, curling your toes in your heels, trying to keep them warm. You don’t want to think about it, you don’t want to think about him, you just want to go home, have a cry in your bed and try to sort out your mixed up feelings. 

“Cab’s here,” he says.

You look up and see that he’s right. The driver pulls up, winds his window down and says your name, confirming the car is for you. You nod and for a moment you’re stuck, unable to move.

Sy places a gentle hand on your lower back and you can feel his warm breath as he kisses your temple.

“Go on, Sugar,” he murmurs.

You close your eyes. Your chest tightens, and a lump forms in your throat. You reach a hand out to him but he’s already moved away, walking back to his apartment. You feel sick, you can’t work out what’s wrong with you. Why does it feel like your heart is breaking?

“Miss?” the cab driver calls to you, “You coming?”

You’re trembling and not just from the cold. You take a step back from the cab and shake your head.

“I made a mistake,” you tell the driver. He looks at you with raised eyebrows but you don't have time to explain.

Pivoting, you run back towards the building. Sy has already gone back inside and you see him at the stairs. You knock frantically on the door, he stiffens and turns around, his eyes widening momentarily in surprise. He comes back down the stairs in a little jog, and opens the door with furrowed brows.

“Did you forget somethin’?” Sy asks.

You shake your head, unable to get the words out.

Sy looks over your head, “Hey, your cabs leaving, what—”

Standing on your toes you put your arms around his neck and pull his mouth down to yours. 

Sparks. Skipped heart beats. Butterflies. Yearning. Need. 

You feel it all as Sy groans and wraps his arms around you. His lips are as soft rose petals as they move over yours, stroking lightly at first before building pressure. You feel something hard against your back and you barely register that he's brought you inside and pinned you against the wall.

“Sy,” you whisper, drawing away to take a ragged breath. 

“Baby,” Sy says, his hands moving over your body as if confirming that you’re really there, “you came back.” He states the obvious and if you weren't closing in on the edge of a pure mental meltdown yourself, you would have laughed. 

His lips are on yours again, his beard feels so soft as his whiskers slide over your lips. He lifts your shirt, his hands are cool and your skin feels like it's burning as they brush your trembling belly. He grasps your waist, his fingers dig into your flesh as his kiss becomes firmer.

“Want this… Want you… So long… Always…” He murmurs between kisses.

His lips move down your neck, his kiss is rough, wet and scorching. His hands move higher, squeezing at your ribs as if he wants to crush you. You close your eyes, your body arching, your hips slotting against his and you moan.

His thumbs caress the curve of your bare breasts beneath his shirt. Your hands seem to move by their own volition as they glide down his neck and under his jacket. You slide it off his shoulders feeling the tension held in the bulging mass of muscles beneath his shirt.

His hands leave your body while he throws his coat off like it's on fire and he drops it uncaringly to the floor. Then he leans hard into you, hips circling you and you can feel him, growing hard, so fucking hard, against your belly. His hands move under your shirt again, but he withdraws them quickly.

“Upstairs,” he breathes and he bends down to grab his coat.

Wordlessly, he takes your hand and walks you towards the stairs. You get the feeling if you weren’t trotting after him, he’d drag you anyway.

He turns to look at you as you reach the first landing, his eyes are blue fire as he bites his lip. You don’t know what he sees when he looks at you, but you know you must be reflecting the same vehement expression. Now that you’ve kissed, there’s no way to hide your feelings. He takes the stairs blind, like he’s bewitched by your face and won’t even look where he’s going. You aren’t much better, seemingly trapped by the same force that keeps his eyes on you.

As he opens the door to his apartment, his heavy silence and heady gaze finally gets the better of you. Closing your eyes, you turn away from him slowly, taking your bags off and placing them by the door.

Sy hums as he moves behind helping you take your coat off. You step out of your heels, using the movements to put some distance between the two of you.

“I think we need to talk about this before it goes any further, Sy,” you say looking at his cream coloured carpet.

His feet enter your field of vision and he lifts your chin. 

“Shoot,” he says in his deep gravelly voice.

You swallow hard. God, he radiates sexual energy, raw, primal, and seductive. You haven’t felt that from him before, never to this extent at least. His hand moves down your throat and slides to the side of your neck. Your body hums, vibrating from somewhere deep inside.

“I’m listening,” he prompts.

He seems so composed now, so in control, earlier he had been as wild as you. Now you feel like you’re about to spontaneously combust and he’s as cool as ice.

“I uh… What are we going to do?” you ask flustered and uncomposed, your eyes sliding shut as he tugs gently on your ear with his thumb and forefinger.

“Now or tomorrow?” His breath is hot on your neck as he dips his head and nuzzles into you. His beard pleasantly brushes over your skin and you feel it in your spine as you shiver with pleasure.

“Now? Both?” His silky lips skim over you, the potent cocktail of sensations is doing you in and you can’t think. “Sy stop, please.”

Leaving you with one last kiss he breathes in deeply before taking a step back. He crosses his arms over his chest and your eyes slide over his body, lingering on the bulge between his legs. You drag your focus to his face and you see that you were wrong, he’s not composed, he’s as aroused as you are.

“Oh fuck it,” you say, and grab his shirt in your fists.

A fleeting look of shock crosses Sy’s features before his blue eyes flash with lust and he grins like a cat who got the cream. He captures your face in his hands and meets your lips with his.

His hands roam everywhere, kneading at your hips, your breasts, and your ass. You can’t keep your hands off him either, running up his thickly muscled arms, to his neck and down his strong back. Your fingers dive into the scruff of his beard finding it surprisingly soft and your nails scratch gently at his cheeks and jaw.

“Couch or bed?” he growls with a raised eyebrow. You know what he's asking, he wants to know how far you want to take this.

“Bed,” you say determinedly. You want it, you want him, why are you questioning it?

“Oh fuck yeah.”

Without letting you out of his arms he walks you to his bed, awkwardly trying to toe off his shoes as he keeps trying to kiss you.

“You can let me go, Sy,” you tease as he grunts and he finally kicks his shoes away.

“Can’t do that, baby,” he says with a smirk, “I ain’t ever lettin’ you go.” He grabs your ass and lifts you onto his hips and you yelp. “I’m gonna bundle you up and take you with me everywhere. Might get some side eye at work, but it’ll be worth it.”

“You’re so cheesy, Sy,” you giggle, wrapping your legs around his waist.

“You’re so fuckin’ pretty when you laugh, Sugar,” he says without the slightest hint of amusement and your laughter dies.

An intensity settles between you as Sy takes the last few steps into his bedroom. He leaves the light off and turns on a small lamp that bathes the room in a soft warm glow. Then he lowers you to your feet.

You turn to look at the bed, the covers are still pulled back as you left it when you got up to get a drink. Sy walks around the other side and climbs in and you slip between the covers and meet him in the middle of the bed. There is a weighty anticipation and part of you wonders if you’re moving too fast. Maybe you should have picked the couch.

If you’re honest with yourself, your trepidation comes from more than that. Now that the moment has arrived, now that you’re in bed with the man you have wanted to be with for as long as you can remember, you fear disappointment.

You know you shouldn’t get caught up in your head. Kissing Sy was already a better experience than you’ve ever had with any man before. But somehow that makes the ball of anxiety in your gut grow even heavier and more onerous.

And worse than all of that is the question: what if you had it wrong all the time? What if you’re the one who is a disappointment? What if sex was always bad for you because you aren’t any good at it?

“You okay?” Sy asks as he strokes your cheek with the back of his fingers.

You shrug. He rubs his thumb between your pinched brows as if to soothe away your worries. He looks away for a moment and stares off into the distance, then he brings his eyes back to you.

“Are you thinkin’ ‘bout some of the things you told me about earlier?”

You drop your head and quietly curse.

“Don’t think about that, baby. Just feel me,” he says.

“I can’t help it,” you whisper.

“Let me help you then,” Sy says with a grin and throws back the covers. 

“Sy…” you whimper softly.

“Hush,” he says, brushing mouth against yours.

His velvety soft tongue flicks teasingly at your lips before his hands travel down your sides. He lifts your shirt, and moves down your body until he is kissing your belly.

“Jane’s Addiction,” Sy murmurs as he nuzzles into your tummy.

“What?” you ask, completely thrown by his out of left field comment.

“Jane’s Addiction was playin’ on the radio the first time I met you.”

“You remember the first time you met me?”

He nods solemnly, “Few days into senior year. It was rainin’ and Carol begged me to drive her and her new friend home.”

“Oh I remember that!” you say. You laugh and run your hand over his buzz cut, “Your hair was so long and curly.”

“Yeah, it was,” he breathes and you gasp as his hands reach your breasts.

You bite your lip as he lifts your shirt higher and his eyes grow wide as your breasts are revealed. He keeps raising the hem and you lift your arms. With a quick tug you’re topless and before you even have a chance to feel self conscious, he rises to his knees, reaches behind his head and he is swiftly shirtless too.

He lays over you, his weight is heavy but welcomed and warm. His lips are at your neck, his hand cupping your breast, caressing, rubbing, squeezing.

“You sat in the backseat, and I kept looking in the rear view mirror at you. I couldn’t stop.” 

His kiss moves to your nipple, his tongue slips between his teeth, circling before drawing you into his mouth. The gentle suckle makes you moan and you ache for more as the throbbing between your legs borders on unbearable. His azure gaze is intense and hungry as he lifts his head.

“You wore a green strapless dress to my 21st birthday and kept stealin’ my tequila shots,” he continues, “You wore a pink cardigan with cherries on it when you came to my homecoming after my first deployment,” his voice gets low as he adds, “You kissed me that night, just my cheek, but I’ll never forget it, or that your hair smelled like strawberries.”

“Sy…”

He rises to his knees again, licking his lips and tucking the bottom one into his mouth. His broad chest is puffing hard as he looks at you and hooked his fingers into the waistband of your borrowed sweats. 

“You cut your hair to look like some actress when you came to visit me with Carol after I made it through selection,” he glances away long enough to untie the draw string.

You cover your face in your hands, reliving the painful six months it took for the cut to grow out. “Oh God, that haircut was awful.”

“It was,” Sy chuckles, then he’s quiet as you feel the sweats slide down your thighs. You peek through your fingers. “But you were still so fucking beautiful,” he says and his body covers yours. He removes your hands from your face and cradles your head in his hand, “You are beautiful.”

You shake your head, but you smile, warming with his compliments. “You remember all of that?”

“That and so much more,” he says as he dips his head and kisses you.

You kiss him back with a slightly parted mouth and you slip your tongue past his lips. He groans wrapping an arm around your waist while yours encircle his neck. He breathes hard into your mouth as he kisses you, and you have no doubt you’re breathing just as hard.

“Gonna go slow, okay?” Sy murmurs. His eyes sweep down over your nearly naked form and he chuckles, “Gonna try anyway.”

“You don’t have to,” you say.

“I want to,” he insists, “I wanna take care of you, make it good for you.”

He kisses you as he places his hand on the inside of your thigh and exertes slight pressure. You let yourself open for him, so eager for his touch you can’t stop trembling. His kiss grows deeper, harder as his fingertips dance up your thigh.

His hand cups your clothed centre and he groans as you gasp and instinctively close your legs. He holds your thigh and guides it open again with a gentle yet firm touch. The heel of his palm presses against your clit and your body surges, heat radiating as he moves in tight circles.

Your heart starts to pound, your breath shudders and your thighs won’t stop shaking. You recognise the feeling and it's good, better than good; every stroke of his hand, every brush of his lips and flick of his tongue at your mouth takes you higher until your entire body throbs.

Sy lifts his head, his mouth hovers just above yours. He stares into your eyes while his fingers delicately trace the edge of your underwear. 

“Gonna take ‘em off,” he says, pausing until you nod, lifting your hips and he drags your panties down your thighs.

With a gentle nudge he guides your thighs open again and his hand strokes your body, from your hip to your breasts, he leaves a trail of goosebumps on your skin. He bites his lip as he looks at you then he lowers his head until it rests next to yours on the pillow.

“I wanna make you cum,” he says as he caresses your shoulder then traces an invisible line down your arm.

He laces his fingers between yours and brings your joined hands to your core. Your hips roll, spine arches as he dips your fingers into your slick and sticky wetness.

“Fuck,” Sy groans and presses his forehead into yours, “Show me what you like, show me what feels good.”

You shake your head, “I don’t think…”

“There ya go thinkin’ when ya should be feelin’,” Sy says, his voice a little teasing.

Guiding your joined hands he slides your fingers over your folds and spreads your wetness all over you.

“Close your eyes for me,” he murmurs, “Just feel what I do, listen to what I say. Can you do that for me, baby?”

You don’t respond, you can’t, so you close your eyes and try to focus on his touch.

“Put my hand where you want it,” he urges hoarsely.

You nod and take hold of his wrist and using your other hand you cover his. You guide him over your slit letting his whole hand glide over you, the friction of his skin against your folds makes you moan.

“Your pussy feels so good, baby,” he breathes into your ear, “love how soft ya are… delicate…”

You whimper as your nails dig into his wrist and your body heaves. A warm rush floods your core, you’ve never been so aroused by a man in your life. “Oh God, Sy.”

“So wet and puffy and warm, bet ya taste real good too.”

Molten hot liquid seems to flow through your veins and heat blooms deep within your gut. You raise his fingers to your clit, placing them right where you need them and you guide his movements for a few seconds. His hand moves passively over you until he seems to catch your rhythm and you feel the moment he takes over. You let him go and try to keep breathing as torrid jolts of intense pleasure wreak havoc on your nerves.

“I wanted this for a long time. Wanted you here, in my bed, wanted to touch you like this,” he says as his beard grazes the side of your neck and his lips capture your earlobe. “And that you wanted it too, that you wanted to be here, with me.”

His confession makes you open your eyes and turn your head towards him. He’s looking down at his hand between your legs, his brows are low and his eyes are narrow. He bites his lip and you watch stunned as his teeth drag over his soft flesh.

“Fuck,” he says under his breath, so softly that if you hadn’t seen his mouth moving you don’t think you would have been able to make out what he said. 

His eyes sweep up your body and he catches you looking at him. Through your moans, you smile shyly at him and he makes a low growling noise in his throat.

“You look so beautiful like this,” he rumbles, and he leans over you. 

Your lips meet in a sordid clash, it's wet, sloppy and uncontrolled. You grab at his arm clawing and clutching, your legs won’t stop shaking, and you can’t stop your moans turning into cries.

You squeeze your eyes shut and fall back into the pillow, concentrating on the tightness between your legs. Your whole body feels taut, pulled tight like an elastic, ready to snap at any moment. This is where it stops for you, where you get caught, where you take too long, where he gets bored, where he…

“Sy, I don’t think I can, I…” you say, turning him, panting and exhausted.

Sy takes your hand and holds it against his sweats. You feel him underneath, hard as steel, pulsing, and thick.

“Oh shit,” you cry.

“Feel that, baby?” Sy groans, “That's what touchin’ you does to me. If ya want me to stop, I will, but don’t ask me to stop cause you think I don’t wanna do this. ‘Cause you’d be dead wrong.”

You gasp and whine, mewling as you melt into his gaze. An animal hunger and primal need is naked in his stare, but so was his enjoyment. There is a subtle curve to his lips as he starts to rut against your hand and you can have no doubt of his desire.

“Don’t stop,” you say. 

Sy voice reverberates in his chest as he rests his forehead against yourrs forehead, his eyes holding yours as with a gaze that would be predatory if he wasn’t simultaneously panting as if he’s trapped too.

The tension within you builds again, faster now and it takes you no time to flirt with the edge of release. Your body becomes unhinged; clenching, desperate, writhing. You cry out as you fly apart and for a moment you hang there, floating in bliss as your body undulates, riding out each scorching wave of euphoric pleasure.

When you come back down and can start to think coherently you feel Sy’s nose rubbing gently against yours. His hand is flat covering your core, slowly dragging up and down over you, as if he really is touching you for his own enjoyment. His mouth drifts lazily over yours, kissing your top then bottom lip.

Your hand is still against his cock, your fingers caging him as your palm presses flat. You move your hand, and you feel the rush of air from his lungs against your lips in a ragged exhale. You do it again and his hips jerk.

“Baby…” he drawls.

You roll onto your side so you're facing him, and rest your free hand against the centre of his chest, your fingers sinking into his coarse hair.

“Sy…” you hum back as you slide your hand down his torso until your fingers find another patch of hair and your fingertips dip teasingly into his waistband.

“Wanna touch me, huh?” he asks in a low, gravelly tone. 

“Yes,” you say.

“Fuck, that word has never sounded so good,” Sy grins.

You giggle softly then bite your lip, you probably shouldn’t laugh at a time like this.

Sy caresses your cheek with the back of his fingers, “I love it when you smile, Sugar.”

Your lips stretch wide, you can’t help it. Sy hums, still grinning and leans in to kiss you. You move your hand lower into his pants and finding the elastic of his boxer briefs, you slip your fingers beneath those too. Your heart pounds and your fingers tremble as you feel the tight soft skin of his cock. With the softest touch you can manage, you wrap your hand around him.

Sy sucks in a breath with a hiss, “Gonna take my pants off.” You nod and relax your hand, but he puts a hand on your wrist. “Don’t let go.”

You suppress another giggle as Sy awkwardly lowers his pants around where you’re joined. But he moves fast and quickly he settles onto his back and draws you close under his arm.

Looking down, your eyes widen as you take in the sight of him. Your body warms again as you watch your hand move slowly over him. You feel Sy’s body twitch, moving slightly as you work him with a slow easy rhythm. 

Then as if he couldn’t hold it in any longer he lets out a low groan and his whole body heaves. His arm tightens around you and he lifts your chin before covering your mouth with his. His tongue sweeps over yours as he kisses you firmly, ferociously, demandingly. Then he falls back again, his head dropping into the pillow.

You kiss his shoulder, his muscles pulling taut below his skin as he tightens his arm around you. Encouraged, you move your mouth along his collarbone to the base of his neck. You want to kiss him there but you’re too far away, so you move onto your belly, almost climbing over his huge form until you’re half on him, half on the mattress. Without stopping the motion of your hand, you nuzzle into his neck. His skin is so hot beneath your lips, humid as he breaks out into a sweat.

“Fuck,” he groans, and he holds the back of your head to him as his body rolls under you. Despite how small his size makes you feel physically, the way he moves, the noises that he makes, and the way he touches you, makes you feel powerful. You love knowing you’re making him feel good and you want to give him more.

You move down his body slowly, leaving a trail of kisses as you go. When you reach his hip, you look up at him and his eyes are already on you.

“Baby?” he asks.

You look at him in your hand briefly then look back at Sy and lick your lips.

“Wanna put me in your mouth, huh?” he whispers, his chest is pumping hard, his cock is pulsing and becoming unbelievably thick in your hand. He reaches down and rubs his thumb over your mouth. “Pretty li’l lips.”

“Yes.” You part your lips and without breaking the rhythmic motions of your hand you take him in your mouth.

“God damn…” He cradles your head in his warm hands, fingers caressing your neck and throat, tracing the curve of your jaw. 

“Look so good, baby… feel so good…” 

He groans and his hips move in a slow, gentle rocking motion, his body arching as he moves within your mouth. His tenderness is not what you’re used to; he essentially fucking your mouth, yet you feel as though he’s completely surrendered to the moment and to you.

Sy isn’t quiet, and you quickly discover what he likes by watching and listening. You find a nice rhythm, sucking and massaging with your tongue while he pumps into your mouth. He’s careful not to go too deep at first, but soon you see his starts to become erratic, tensing his thighs hard and he seems to grow harder in your hand. You take over, moving over him steadily increasing his pace.

“Gonna make me cum, baby,” he grunts out his warning, “Oh fuck! Gonna fuckin’ cum in your mouth.”

His eyes close tight, his head rolls back and his whole body seems to elongate. His groans turn into growls before he roars your name and begins to fill your mouth with long, thick, and warm jets.

“Fuck, fuck,” he mumbles as you slow down your movements, gently licking within your mouth until he shivers with a hum and pulls his hips away.

You sit on your knees, unsure of what to do. Now that it is over and both your passions are sated, you wonder what is going to happen. You have fleeting images of awkward interactions, perhaps never talking about this night again.

You place your hand on his still trembling thigh. You like the feeling of his sparsely haired skin under your palm, and you try to commit this moment to memory, in case it never happens again. He’s so attractive; his shoulders, arms and forehead are covered in a light sheen, his mouth is curved into a soft smile and he has a hand on his chest as he breathes heavily and steadily while he comes down from his high.

“Whatcha doin’ all the way over there?” Sy asks as he lifts the hand off his chest and beckons you to him.

Hesitantly you lay next to him, positioning yourself into the crook of his arm with your head on his shoulder. He lifts your chin and kisses your mouth with a tender stroke of lips and tongue.

Sy pulls away humming and asks, “You need anythin’? A drink or somethin’?”

You shake your head, “No. Thank you though.”

Sy chuckles a little and kisses you on the top of your head. “Want to sleep?” He asks, his beard tickles your forehead as he adds, “With me?”

“Yeah, I do,” you say softly.

He leans down to bring the covers up over both of you. He hums again. He sounds content and happy, and starts to stroke your arms with his fingers. 

You start to think that maybe… maybe this thing with you and Sy isn't just a one off.

When you wake in the morning, you find yourself alone in bed. 

Your heart sinks into your gut and your throat seems to want to close up. You quickly take hold of yourself rationalising that you’re in his bed, surely he couldn’t be so desperate to avoid you that he would leave his own house and make you find your own way home.

As you raise your head to sit up, you notice a piece of paper on Sy’s pillow. Nervously, you reach for it and see that it’s a quickly scrawled note.

Gone for a run.

You looked so pretty sleeping, I didn’t wanna wake you. 

I put the coffee on. Make yourself a cup if you want. 

Sy

The mild panic you felt begins to wane as you read over his note again. He hasn’t just left you, he’s coming back and he still thinks you’re pretty. Smiling stupidly, you flop back onto the bed and give a little squeal into the pillows.

Before Sy returns, you get dressed in your clothes from last night. The top you wore felt scandalously low in the light of the early morning, but your coat would cover most of it. You wash your face and rub some toothpaste onto your teeth and rinse. You think about looking for a brush, but you don’t want to go searching through Sy’s bathroom cabinet.

Just as you’re finishing pouring yourself a coffee, Sy returns. He hasn’t noticed you yet, so biting your lip you take the time to really look at him as he toes off his sneakers. Sy is spectacularly attractive wearing an army PT t-shirt, a pair of running shorts, iPod earbuds in his ears, dripping with sweat and humming. He seems to ooze a raw, primal, brutal sexuality in his walk as he heads your way.

When he finally notices you, he grins and pulls the earbuds out and lays his iPod on the kitchen bench. He comes close but keeps some distance between you as he lays a hand on your hip before leaning in to kiss your cheek.

“Mornin’, Sugar,” he says. He takes a step back as you reach for him and you feel disappointed. It must have shown on your face because he quickly continues, “I’m all sweaty. Gonna take a shower, okay?”

You smile and nod, “Okay.”

He returns your smile and takes half a step to move away, before changing his mind and turning back to you.

“I liked comin’ home to you,” he says. His eyes wander over your clothes, and he runs a finger down your exposed chest. “You look good.”

Feeling a little timid by his suggestive touch, you look to the ground and make a joke. “You like my walk of shame outfit?”

“I ain’t ashamed, baby,” he says, sweaty or not, he takes you in his arms, “you ain’t got nothin’ to be ashamed of neither. I don’t regret what happened last night. Not one bit.”

You meet his eyes and see how open his stare is and you believe him. You see the unasked question as he peers at you. “I don’t either, Sy.”

“Good,” Sy grins, “‘Cause I wanna do it again.” You laugh a little and look away and Sy chuckles too. “No, I mean… Well yeah, that. But I wanna take ya out. On a date.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” Sy says firmly. Then his eyes light up. “Wait here okay? Wanna show ya somethin’.” 

He doesn’t wait for your reply and leaves the kitchen coming back moments later with an envelope and hands it to you.

“Last night, you asked why I hadn’t said anythin’ about how I felt,” he waits for you to nod before he continues, “Well, I was planning on askin’ you to come with me. Ask you out, I mean.”

Turning the envelope over, you lift the flap and pull out two concert tickets to Jane’s Addiction.

“Sy, I…” you look at him feeling overwhelmed, “I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’ll go with me.”

“Of course I will,” you say.

Sy draws you into his arms, kisses you and doesn’t let go.

It was early Sunday morning, your husband was snoring next to you, children were sleeping in their rooms, and you tried your hardest to sleep too. Even with your eyes closed, his hand over your stomach and keeping you hot, the thoughts could not stop running around your head.

Living in a small city had its perks. It was good for raising children in a small community where everyone knew everyone, and you did not have to be afraid of something happening to your family. If you needed the help of any kind - someone to babysit, repair the roof, or deliver groceries - there was always somebody that will help you with a smile.

Yet, there were also bad things that came with it. Rumors spread faster than flu in the autumn season, everyone always had an opinion on how you should do things, what to make for dinner, how to fix the broken fence, or how to find a husband. The elderly ladies liked to place bets on who would sleep with who, who would get pregnant by whom, or when they would break up.

But the worst were housewives and single mothers. In a population of around two thousand, there weren’t many of them. They spent their days meeting up in cafes or parks and chatting about other families, mostly, talking around their backs and accenting their wrong-doing.

Last night you and Sy had gone out and gotten dinner in his favorite restaurant. It was rare for both of you to get out of the house and spent time alone, knowing that you had three small children, the oldest being only four and the youngest being six months old.

You could remember it all. 

The stares of people in the restaurant.

Their voices behind your back.

She still hasn’t lost the weight…

He is going to leave her, not his children, he is going to take care of them…

How can he still love her?

“Ignore them,” Sy had said, as soon as you had made your way to the table. “They are just jealous.”

But what if they were right?

It’s been six months since you had given birth to your youngest. The pregnancy was not easy, and you had spent most of it on bed rest, watching Netflix while Sy and your mother had done the house works and taken care of the children. You had gained extra pounds from constant sugar cravings and spending your time in bed, not able to exercise.

The labor you would never be able to forget. The pain had been stronger than in previous ones, and you had almost bled to death if doctors had not decided to perform a c-section. You remember holding Sy’s hand through it, him talking about the future of the family of five and you hoping that everything would be fine with the baby.

“This is the last one,” Sy had said, as he held his youngest in his hand. When he looked up, his eyes were filled with tears. “I do not want you to go through this again.”

Looking in a mirror, you saw a completely different person. Your body was not as fit as it was when you had met Sy years ago. There were stretch marks covering your body. Your hips were wider, and you had extra weight around your belly and thighs. You would never be the same woman again, the one your husband had fallen in love with all these years ago.

The old clothes that you wore before pregnancy did not fit you, and you had no other choice but to wear Sy’s t-shirts and track pants around the house. You did not have time to work out and take care of yourself, like going to the spa or manicure. It was hard to have time for yourself when your husband was working most of the day and you were left taking care of the children.

Sy was a perfect husband and father. He always found time to spend with kids and help you with cooking, ignoring his need for sleep. He never complained about the changes in your body, never said that you needed to change, get rid of extra weight, or start looking at yourself.

“I love you no matter what.” He had said last night, after arriving home. “You are amazing, and I could not ask for a better wife and mother of my children.” 

You loved and were proud of your body for what it had done. It had been their home for nine months, carried life and taken care of it, protected it against all the wrongs and dangers of life. It had gone through painful and endless hours-long labor to only bring a new person into this world. It produced milk to feed the small miracles in your arms and provided them with nutrients.

Yet, you never stopped wanting your “old” body back, the one before children. Seeing all those slim and fit women around you, in the grocery stores, in parks, on the streets - you were jealous of them, of their bodies. Deep inside you knew - no matter how hard you tried, you would never get that body back.

And the fear of Sy leaving you one day was also there. 

What if he decided that you were not enough for him? What if you could not satisfy him with your body anymore? What if he found someone better? Someone younger, someone without stretch marks or extra weight. Someone more beautiful…

You did not want to think of it. Seeing that it was a little after eight, you decided to get up and start making breakfast. It was hard to make Sy move his arm off your body, without him mumbling about you leaving him alone, but eventually you managed to do it.  

“Someone had to make breakfast.” You said to him, putting your legs down on the carpet.

“The breakfast can wait.” He said back and tried moving you closer to him. 

“The children cannot. I will take care of it, you can sleep.” It earned a groan from him, but Sy allowed you to get up.

You put on Sy’s old t-short and track pants over your naked body, not bothering to find any underwear,  and left the room, leaving your husband asleep in the bed. After a quick look at the two oldest ones, you found your youngest wide awake in his bed, kicking his feet.

“Good morning, baby!” He smiled, upon hearing your voice, and started to move even more actively. “Did you have a good night?” 

Your youngest one was the most active of your children, always moving around, throwing his arms and kicking his legs around, making it hard to dress him. Changing his diaper was the easiest part, compared to getting on his clothes. It took you ten minutes to get him ready.

On your way down, he started to get fussy and tried to bite your breasts through the shirt. It was a usual activity for him, signalizing that he was hungry and wanted to eat. When you sat down on the couch and moved up your shirt, he instantly pounced onto your nipple and started eating.

The living room was a mess. Children’s toys were everywhere, three dirty socks were laying under the coffee table while on it was empty boul and two mugs filled with water. Pictures on the walls were turned upside down, there was a stain on the white rug near your feet and -

“What’s on breakfast?” You heard your husband ask, as he walked down the stairs. He stopped on the last step of the stairs and looked around the messy room. “Was it here yesterday?”

You noded. “It must have been. We did not turn the light on yesterday exactly.”

“How did my mother let this happen?”

“She loves her grandchildren, and besides - our children are unstoppable.”

Sy sat down next to you and smiled at your youngest in your arms. “Enjoy while you can. Soon it will be only mine again.”

“Sy!”

“What? It’s not like he is going to eat milk for the rest of his life.” You did not say anything. “And you are one hell of a woman - beautiful, smart and extremely sexy.”

“You know it is not true.” 

“Do not let those evil women get in your brain.” 

“But they are right. I haven’t lost the extra weight that I gained with pregnancy. My body has changed, and I will never get it back, no matter how much I want it.”

“Hon,’ Sy put his fingers under your jaw and made you look at him. “You are still beautiful to me and always will be. I love how your body has changed over the years, and, truly, I do not want you to have your previous body back. Do you know why? Because this body - ” His eyes moved all over your body, just as his arm wrapped around your shoulders. “This body has done wonders. It carried my children, our children, for nine months, and then endured hours in pain to only bring them into the light. Your beasts, your lovely breasts, have fed our little ones and provided them with all the nutrients they needed.

All scars and stretch marks prove that you loved me enough to agree to have children with me, to make a family with me. ” With his lips, Sy kissed away the tears that had fallen from your eyes and wrapped his arms around your shoulders to bring you closer to his body.

“To be speaking truly, I find you incredibly sexy by walking around in my clothes all the time. It turns me on, and I wanna bend you over the closest surface I can. When I see you taking care of our little monsters, it makes me want to have you pregnant all the time because I know that I have the right woman by my side.

You should not care what others think of you, and do you know why?” 

You looked at him. “Why?”

“Because the only opinion that matters is only yours. Not mine, not our children or parents - only yours.”

Sy pressed a kiss on your forehead, and you closed your eyes. You did not know before how much you needed to hear him say all those things before, for him to say that you were beautiful and sexy even after three kids.

“I will love you no matter what because you have all I ever have wanted. You have put up with my demons, fought them with me, and yet you never left. You stayed when I was at my lowest, and it made me only love you more. 

When I look at you at night, soundly sleeping against my chest, I cannot stop thanking the universe for making you fall in love with me and deciding to become my wife, my best friend, my whole life. Without you, I am nothing, [Y/N], no one.”

You were in tears from his words. Sy was not a man of many words, his actions spoke more than anything, and he never liked to talk about his feelings. His words brought tears to you and gave reassurance that he loved you and found you still sexy. You were beautiful to him.

With one hand on his rough cheek and the other around your baby, you pressed your lips to his and kissed him with all the passion you had. There wasn’t much you could say after his confession, but you could show him how you feel with your lips. Later you would show him more.

“I love you, Sy.” You said while trying to return your breathing to normal. Your youngest was unbothered by the kiss since all he cared about was getting his breakfast, just like his father.

“And I love you, do not evet doubt my love for you.” Sy smiled at you and skipped his hand over your child’s soft hair. “Do let those old cunts talk. They are only jealous, because their husbands do not love them as much as I love you, and do not fuck them every night until exhaustion with kids in near rooms.”

"But babe, that place is for nerds." 

That was his initial response when you asked him to go with you to the Ren Fair you attend every year. You two have been dating for barely a month now, so Sy, the southern bull you get to ride every now and then, is not fully aware of your nerd side yet. He has a vague idea you're into fantasy stuff, but definitely not until what point. 

"Come on, honey, it will be fun! Please…" 

After a bit of pouting and giving him some puppy eyes, Sy ended up accepting. He can’t say no to those beautiful eyes of yours, especially when you nibble the lower part of his ear while you expose your arguments. 

You have always loved Ren Fair, and you always get so excited to go that you planned your outfit for that day so much in advance. But specifically, you couldn't wait until you could show him. 

The cowboy was going to have a nice surprise.

You agreed to meet there. You have combed your hair into a half bun, leaving some strands loose, and made some adjustments to your victorian style dress, such as an opening in the side so you don't boil while wearing it in the very beginning of September. 

When you get to the entrance, you can distinguish the enormous body of the bull standing amongst some others that can't clearly compare to him in size. He's wearing his usual red dilligaf shirt, because he truly doesn't give a fuck today. You walk towards him, with a bright, excited smile on your face. 

"Honey!" you greet him, stopping right in front of him. 

"Hi babe. This is ridiculous, I believe I just saw someone with…" he loses his words when he finally lands his eyes on you. In fact, he opens and closes his mouth a couple of times before he recovers his voice. "...Wow." 

Pleased, you smile even wider. The corset did its job lifting your breasts, added to the fact that you're wearing your shoulders bare naked, only a skirt below the corset, and even the skirt comes with surprise when you show him your leg until your knee through the opening. 

"What?" you ask so innocently. 

"I… eh… nothing" he mumbles, stubborn, yet still unable to lift his gaze from you. "I didn't know there was etiquette for these places." 

You giggle and step forward to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. 

"If you're good, I might show you what else this dress is hiding" you whisper in his ear. 

A spark of desire burns in his deep blue eyes, but he says nothing. Instead, he passes an arm around your waist in s possessive way, since he's aware now that some others are paying you way too much attention to his taste, and you both enter the fair, ready to have a good time. 

About an hour later, a summer storm happens. Everyone is running in search of a place to hide. You two are lucky and find what looks like an abandoned greenhouse in the middle of the park, and seem to be the only ones there. Thunders alert of the magnitude of the sudden storm, so you know you did well in finding refuge. 

"Even the god of thunder thinks these fairs are shit" Sy comments with a pleased grin half hidden below his beard. 

"Oh, are they? Then I guess I didn't spend fifteen minutes waiting while you took a thorough look at the sword place" you tease, a playful smile on your face seeing his annoyed reaction. 

"It wasn't that long!" he protests, crossing his arms over his broad chest, defensive. "And those were real swords, babe. Like, real."

You giggle. He can try and pretend, but there's a nerd inside of him he can't hide from you. 

"You know… some ladies brought weapons on them back then" you say, gaining his attention again, since he was back on looking at the rain through the glass.

"Weapons? With dresses like that? Let me doubt it." 

But his eyes are trapped on you while you slowly lift your skirt by the opening you made, up, up, up all of your thigh, revealing the holster with a dagger attached to it that he hadn't noticed at all. 

"What were you saying?" 

"Babe" he growls as he walks the few steps that separate you both. "That's the hottest thing I've ever seen." 

He doesn't even wait for your reaction. He's kissing you before you notice, his firm fingers grasping the flesh of your thigh with urgent need. The intensity of his body heat is immense, even more compared with how chilly the day has turned. You pull from his shirt and devour his mouth like he devours yours, and very little later the sounds created by your passion blend with the thunders echoing in the distance.

____________