Systems Of Color

So I have been having big boy autism/fictive hours about Sephiroth from FFVII and idk what to do, but now I'm going by Sephiroth or Seph, so if you see posts from Seph or Sephiroth, it's just Adam posting

So I am a fictive heavy system. All of my headmates are fictives that basically form bits of my personality that failed to form or don't function normally due to me being raised in a cult as a child and now I don't emotion normally. It's sort of like I have a giant mini van and whenever my core self doesn't know how to handle a situation it's a Jesus take the wheel moment, only instead of Jesus it's American Dragon Jake Long take the wheel or Orochimaru take the wheel.

I have a lot of fictives. the Full list is here:

Comes out the MOst

- Sephiroth - Jason Todd - Shatterstar - Adam X - Boba Fett - Darth Maul - Orochimaru Fairly Prevalent - Deidara - Vigilante - Longshot - Gambit (Remy LeBeau) - Gene Belcher - Greed - Jake Long Medium Level - Gajeel Redfox - Zack Fair - Wolverine (exclusively old man Logan version) - Solf J. Kimblee - Akihiro - Hiro Hamada - Sokka - Anakin Skywalker - Jaskier Minor - Murtagh - Tulio - Hal Jordan - Coran - Jack Harkness - Quinlan Vos - Klaus Hargreeves - Diego Hargreeves - Graverobber (Repo!) - Iron Man - Boromir - Guy Gardner - JD

Happy Disability Pride month

I just had some asshole tell me it's not ableist to make fun of autistic peoples hyperfixations and how they react to them.

Such a great way to start out a month meant to raise awareness for people who live life differently

I know autism isn't a disability for everyone but for me and my system it is so it's really frustrating for me so I'm struggling a lot today. I've been fronting as Zuko a lot lately because I've been dealing with intense anger a lot and he's my only alter who can function with those types of emotions so thats..that's... fun.

For those who don't know, my system works much like how the movie Inside Out works. I have several fictives who basically developed due to me not learning to process emotions functionally due to severe childhood trauma. When I'm trying to process these emotions, these alters/fictives will come out and take "control" and host will sort of take the back seat as host never learned to process strong emotions well like anger or fear.

But today Hiro took over the role of host (based off Hiro Hamada from BH6)

I'm autistic and have a special interest in math and stats and someone was shaming me for talking about these interests and saying I was a bully because I supposedly shame people by talking about statistics as an interest?? And I sort of flipped out and had a meltdown but Hiro took over so if I won't shut up about derivatives for a minute yeah. I'm feeling very defensive about my special interests rn.