Sylvie's Games & (Gun)Plamo

The book opens with the protagonist starting to have sex with her lesbian girlfriend for the first time, then in a moment of 'clarity' thinks it would be rape by deception, and then stops the intimacy, realizing it's wrong, and then the rest of the novel becomes a flashback for how we got here.

Pronouns for the protagonist will alternate between he/him and she/her depending on the protagonist's current beliefs about themself at the relevant points in the book.

It's darkly hilarious, because in concocting this scheme, the narrator does not even consider that he might actually really be trans. He is so convinced he is just a cis guy successfully pretending to be trans for like... 6 months or so? And as a reader, there are so many signs this is actually a case, where his internal monologue completely betrays the nature of this deception. For one thing, I'm pretty sure we never actually learn *her* deadname. As soon as his shitty conservative guy roommate suggests the name "Lily" (in response to the question "what are flowers that are also girl names?") he immediately adopts it for himself and all his internal narration calls himself Lily, never whatever his deadname is. As soon as he begins this deception by "fake-coming-out" to the girl in class he had a vehement disagreement over trans self-ID policies with, he no longer feels compelled to drink a little bit of alcohol every night just to quiet the constant background buzzing he's experienced in his head most of his life. He speaks of euphoria at being called this name, and the joys of dressing up and trying on makeup and such, all the while going "it'll be a pity to give this up when i reveal what this has all been about". He becomes increasingly annoyed by the toxicly masculine aspects of his roommate. He befriends a group of queer people from the college's GSA and becomes very fast and earnest friends with them, fearing what they will think when he reveals his plot. He even eventually realizes that despite beginning to know more trans people, he's never actually met one who's just a cis guy trying to get access to women's space, he is supposedly the only one, and that poses some problems for the end-of-term paper he's planning to write for his social studies class. He even begins taking hormones, just to enhance the believability of the "act" to his queer friends (one of whom smuggles them from Canada). At some point he begins dating Nora, the woman he's with at the beginning of the novel. And eventually his roommate stumbles upon him dressing en femme and does a violence on him (despite the fact that hours earlier, our protagonist was calm and level headed enough to pull some shenanigans to steal back his roommate's confiscated football!).

It's a TERF nightmare played completely straight, revealing the lie at the heart of that talking point. Any cis man who might subject himself to all of this would likely experience a decline in mental health, due to the intense dysphoria caused by a mismatch of how they see themselves and how others see them. Throughout the six months of "pretending to be trans" that Lily experiences, he does not once consider that the weirdly happy feelings he has about being perceived as a woman might be a sign that he really is one. And after all, the woman he's dating is a lesbian, and she's not doing sketchy shit in private women's spaces. Most decent people understand context. Our protagonist, he is a dumbass egg until basically the very end. Her girlfriend hears all of this and instead of dumping her, laughs about what a dumbass she's been, and she finally understands that she really is trans.

Alyson Greaves - Welcome To Dorley Hall, Secrets of Dorley Hall, unnamed third and forth books

This is the one that started this kick. The setting is that you have this secret organization that exists underneath a women's dorm in England called Dorley Hall, and it kidnaps aggressive young men typically exhibiting traits of metastasizing toxic masculinity, and performs a sort of carceral-then-rehabilitative force femme process to them. The first book's story is about Stefan, an egg with an inclination that he would wants to be a woman, running into a woman at a Tesco who looks remarkably like his older-brother figure (the actual older sibling of another boy his age), and thinking "maybe i'll find answers if I go to the college he disappeared at!" He thinks whatever happened to him might be some sort of secret organization that helps closeted trans women in abusive environments, and then he gets unwittingly captured by Dorley Hall and realizes his mistake as he experiences the more carceral side of the process. To elaborate further on the plot would spoil a lot of the beats, but suffice to say a lot of stuff happens over the course of a few months beginning in October of 2019. These books explore many angles of dysphoria and repression, as well as a lot of gender dynamics in general. If one can handle the near-dystopian nature of the setting (the boys that get captured go through a LOT of shit in both resisting their punishments for the things that got them captured in the first place (though Stef (later Steph) is basically completely innocent), it's also got a lot of great humor too. Novelty mugs litter the dorm making both coy and obvious references to what goes on there. The hacker girl who is a third year in the Program deals with a lot of buckwild opsec shenanigans in helping Stef cope with the early stages of the process and later dealing with friends and loved ones of graduates finding out what goes on here. Alyson spends a lot of prose describing the incredible fashion senses of the women who live there, in the process of going through the program or having graduated. The "intakes", or "first-years" if you will, are kept in a prison like basement under the dorm, meanwhile the second years and up are given quite a bit more freedom.

HG WF-02 Shenlong Gundam: Chang Wufei

So this is a kit i do not own, but the figure was given to me by my friend's partner (who i believe i have now hung out with enough to also call a friend). They must have had this kit years ago. Anyway, i made the base stand myself again too! This figure was kinda interesting to paint. The dragon pattern on his tank top was actually part of the sculpt. That being said, it was really hard to match, and i wasn't yet using the magnifying goggles top assist. I did have aqueous gold paint however. And surprisingly, there was an ANCIENT color guide for this kit! I did the best i could to translate it and it seems like it was still using paints that Mr. Hobby still sells today. Or at least, close approximants. Small flub: the eyes are kinda asymmetrical. Also, the way i finished him was i gave him a semi-gloss coat, then masked over (broadly) the gold part of the shirt, and then finished him with a flat coat. That way the flat coat doesn't ruin the sheen of the gold paint. This was definitely a fun one to paint. A much larger scale than i was used to!

HG OVA EW-2 1/100 Wing Gundam 0 Custom: Heero Yuy

I DO own this kit (but pictures will NOT be forthcoming. Maybe one day. it's currently in "storage"). This was one of the first larger figures i painted. There was no color guide, so i had to take my best shot at mixing colors. so I mixed the paints using some of what was leftover from the PGU mini painting and from the Spiricle Striker Mugen figurine painting (i need to write a blog post about that, as it's vaguely relevant to these mini painting posts!) I hit this boy with some super clear gloss, panel lined, then flatcoated. Badda bing bada boom. I do not know what scale this guy is at, i could not find anywhere it's stated. I'd guess maybe 1/24?

HG Spiricle Striker Mugen (Claris Type): Clarissa "Claris" Snowflake

This whole kit deserves its own post, and tbh i didn't think i was gonna include it here, but then i mentioned it above and now here we are. She was painted in Fall 2023 but she turned out better than most of the minis. The eyes are Water Slide Decals though (which means i successfully applied water slides over a painted surface!) I followed the color guide pretty well but i wasn't really sure how to paint some of the details. I struggled with "detail loss" through the paint here, but i think i managed to make it appear as good as i am gonna make it in the end. I also primed her in White, which made the detail loss worse (because it seems the white primer pools as it dries moreso than gray primer). BTW, this is 1/24 scale

Moving on to planned figures for this post:

HGLM 003 Evangelion 00: Rei Ayanami & Gendou Ikari

These have been finalized since the last time i posted them, mostly by applying Flat Coats. Rei has been panel lined though, which her suit kinda needs. Gendou's outfit is already dark and doesn't really warrant panel lining imo. I suspect the scale here is 1/24 but i cannot confirm. Also, there was no color guide so once again i winged it. I think it turned out pretty okay for winging the palette! Also, i like and know things about Evangelion and i know Gendou needs to stay far away from Rei. i'm kind of appalled they put him in the same box as her!

Full Mechanics 1/48 MAILeS KENBU: Amou Shiiba

So i will admit, i know nothing about this series. "AMAIM Warrior at the Borderline" is what it's called apparently? BUt that's a weird localized title and its japanese name is just "Warrior Machines at the Borderline" when translated literally?) But this is the protagonist. This is another kit that i don't own, but my friend asked me to paint the minis for this kit. This particular standee is actually two peices. I painted them separately, then glued them together with tamiya extra thin, and then painted over the seams as best i could. TBF the camera angles hide the seams pretty well here, but i betcha can't tell! Anyway, since i don't actually own the model, i actually got to keep this standee! I think not panel lining this makes it look a lot cleaner. Also, i'm surprised the eyes came out as well as they did. He looks like he's looking off to the side a bit.

This one i started panel lining, then messed up and erased, and it wound up not coming off right. So i just didn't bother and went ahead and finished it with a flat coat, no nuln oil for detailing or anything. BTW, the way i captured that backshot gives me an idea for what i could do with suit-less pilots.... but i'll leave that for another day. Anyway, i actually already water slide decaled his suit, so i could take pictures of him in the cockpit!

Oops, got a little carried away there.

moving on...

MG Strike Rouge + Ootori: Cagalli Yula Athha

This was THE first figure i tried nuln oil on. However, it turned out kinda messy, because it was a tutorial my friend was showing me. HOWEVER HOWEVER, i managed to recover it without too much work! I think she looks decent overall.

The pilot figurine was also finished with Nuln Oil, but after i knew what i was doing. I think she turned out a bit better.

Next, we're gonna go behind the scenes and see some of the movie magic i use to make it seem like these guys are in fully constructed models (I already tricked you with the post about the Hi-nu!)

Some basic shots showing the cockpit hatch structure.

And now you can't tell again that it's not complete!

The hatch is now closed. We move onto another pink gundam:

MG Infinite Justice: Athrun Zala

I finished him with only a little bit of panel liner, down the middle of his chest, and nuln oil on the face. A little blobby/messy but still achieves a decent effect from afar.

Here's the pilot figurine. No backshot because i pretty much left his back unfinished. You have to constantly change the thing holding the figure in order to paint certain sections and i was getting tired of trying to do the back.

His cockpit operates very simply, so i only have a few shots:

Yup, there he is. He's actually mostly fully built because i had to detach him from the sick ass plane he normally hangs from. Yes, the mecha suit i mean hangs from a plane. It's so sick, i'll have pictures in another post dedicates to this kit.

BONUS: So, for a while, i had this figurine that i THOUGHT was the pilot figurine for this kit. But then one day i opened up the cockpit hatch and saw the figurine. So who is this guy? what kit does he come from? I'm not even sure if it comes from a PG (1/60) or an MG (1/100), it seems closer in size to the PGs though. You can see i attempted to start painting it in Athrun Zala colors. I actually finished it but it looked so weird trying to force the sculpt to match the image. My friend thinks the sculpt looks like it could be a specific pilot outfit that Kira Yamato wears. It's equally likely it might be a Mu from a PG Sky Grasper. Can anyone positively identify the kit this figurine comes from? The few possibilities we think it might be are kits my friend used to have, but lost due to Moving Shenanigans. so we cannot confirm that those kits are missing pilots. ANyway, moving on, to the final figures:

2x RG Strike Freedom: Kira Yamato

Why do i have two of these guys? Because i have two of the kits! The Strike Freedom was the first RG I assembled, in 2020. In 2021, i got P-Bandai's "Titanium Finish" release of the exact same kit. Thus, i had two Kira Yamatos to paint. These both were painted in my first run of minis in Fall 2023, and they are the last of such minis to be shown off here! I did not panel line them, hell you can tell that getting the stripes on their tiny pilot suits was hard enough. They're very messy and have bad color separation. Honestly, i might try redoing one of them now that i have magnifying goggles. It would be worth it. And as a reminder, since these came with an RG, they are 1/144 scale, so a bit tinier than most of the others i've shown off (which are 1/60 or 1/100).

The little sphere sits in the Inner Frame:

and the outer frame gets assembled (and yes i see the decal that has fallen off, such is life; this was before i used Mr. Softer and Mr. Setter)

We can still see him from above

And then the outer armor is complete, and we shut the hatch:

All that's left is The Machine:

Boo!

I think i accidentally made the Cardeas Vist figure look a little too haunted.

MG EXtreme Unicorn: Banagher Links and Cardeas Vist

comparatively, the MGEX only came with two figures, and not even a standee of the actual pilot. Oh well, it's still a cool kit i will probably write about someday in its own post, but that's also a "WIP". I mean the kit is assembled, but its on a shelf right now and currently kinda dusty, and plus i've been waiting to apply water slide decals to it. I'll include a cockpit shot once that's done, and a link to another post about the kit elsewhen. Anyway, these guys also did with nuln oil. I think Banagher came out a lil messy, but this Cardeas doesn't seem as haunted as the other one at least. Consider this place held for when i do re-assemble the MGEX Unicorn, to display him inside the pilot seat.

MG Jesta: Anaheim Electronics Worker

I also did some extra special detailing on the leg greebles (which i plan to NOT recreate in my future ride armors): I glued thin plastic into the greebles so it could naturally create panel lines, then i used "Wave System Option: H-Eyes Red" to put jewels into the greebles (using double sided tape).

I will recreate the jewels in future builds, but not the panel line details

Here's some more (uglier) shots:

So there's still something i want to do with this build: I want to attach it to some kind of action/display base, so it looks like it's mid air, and find OR MAKE some sort of clear blue ring-shaped jet-blast effect part to put under the "hover pack", so it looks like it's hovering mid-air like it does in the game. I'm not gonna try to recreate the missiles though lmao. BTW, the Hawk Armor parts don't come with the base Chimera Armor So this was nearly all done using Mr Hobby Aqueous paints and an airbrush, with touchups by hand. Also some Gundam EX Marker Silver for some details, Mr. Super Clear Gloss so get a good surface for panel lining, then flat coated everything except for the red missile tips in the canons (those got a nice juicy gloss coat). I did a lot of masking using tamiya masking tape, which is a technique i'm also doing for the Kangaroo armor. BTW, the Kangaroo armor is also approaching a state of Completion. I'm still working on greebles and the arms (which were also the parts i put off til last on the Hawk armor lmao). But hopefully i'll post it in a more timely manner when that happens! I'm really happy to have finished this. When i first saw Bandai put out "official" kits for 3 of the 4 ride armors of this game, i absolutely knew i wanted to repaint the kit and make it look like the actual key art. I actually based the color choices on the sprite art, but otherwise mostly used the key art for reference with details and such. Well, Bandai did most of that work. I just followed it properly. However... i also have plans to do something absolutely ridiculous to try to recreate the Frog Armor... in time. I don't have full plans for it yet, but i have the ride armors and a dream. Anyway here's a preview of the Kangaroo Armor, a WIP shot:

MG Crossbone X-1 Fullcloth: Tobia Arronax

This i believe was one of my earliest mini paints, and it displays the hallmarks of that period from Fall 2023: goopy paint (I hadn't quite figured out how to properly use thinner), messy panel lines... hell it's even missing some potential panel lines (notice the two circles on the backpack). I painted this back when i was doing up the full detailing and water sliding on the MG Crossbone Fullcloth, so that's why it's included. One of the first things i worked on when getting back into gunpla. The manual also didn't have a color guide for this guy, so i just had to guess. By the way, this figure normally doesn't have a flat base, but i cut one out of plastic sheet and glued it to his feet, so he can stand easier. I didn't do that until a few months ago, but all the figures that don't have such a base received one eventually. There's also a pilot that sits in the core fighter:

The right image is the completed core fighter, the left image is meant to show off the pilot. I forget if i already posted about this kit yet, but if not, these will also go in that post, for completion's sake. But you can clearly see my earlier style. (If you came here from Part 1, return to that post with this link! https://www.tumblr.com/sylviegunpla/753405105076895744/gunpla-completed-collection-of-minis-various )

MG Sazabi Ver. Ka: Char Aznable

Here's the boy! You know him and you love to hate him or love him. Our bisexual king Quattro Bajeen aka Char Aznable. (Gee for someone who doesn't watch Gundam i sure know the memes). This one experience a mishap actually! At one point i put it into a container for traveling, but that container had some liquid leftover in it, which i didn't realize. It damage some of the paint, so i had to touch it up and then re-apply Mr. Super Clear Gloss. I used gundam markers for the panel lining here, and tried to avoid panel lining every single detail. I think it turned out pretty decent, if a little smudgy. It's okay, we still love him. And yes this is one of my second run paints. There's also a pilot figurine for this kit, that actually cannot physically live inside the model. However, i have had to strip the pilot figure TWICE due to major mishaps with the painting process. Once that is completed, i will add him here (as well as to the separate post for Ver Ka Sazabi once i get to it). For now, we move on.

MG 2.0 Char's Zaku II (Clear Color Version): Char Aznable

Ahhh, the horror! Well, the backside doesn't look too bad. This was also one of my first run paints + panel lines and it came out.. well, messy. Again, love that these are tiny cuz when you see them with your naked eye they don't look so bad. But zoomed in like this... well, you can see for yourself. Maybe try looking at it really far from your monitor, or shrinking the image lol. Anyway this guy also has a custom baseplate. HOWEVER, he also comes with a LIFT! Yes, this kit came with a freakin LIFT that i also went ahead and painted with airbrushing and hand touchups.

Here he is, ready to go into his gundam. BUt that's not all! THere's also a pilot figure!

This pilot was one of more recent paintjobs, and i think it came out much nicer than the standee (unfortunate since it mostly lives inside the model). I used nuln oil for the detailing this time. You'll notice the peg is a transparent plastic, and that's because this is part of the clear color version of the kit, which i got from P-Bandai at one point. Honestly the build itself was really fun, strong recommend. Here's some images of him in the suit:

Ope, where is he?

There he is!

There he... also is?? This kit has a gimmick where the cockpit can actually be slide from the left side to right side of the chest using a lever on the outside.

Moreover, enjoy here an action pose of the completed model! The Heat Hawk (axe) is something i recently finished painting and detailing. I used aqueous paints for the purple, molotow liquid chrome for the piping, gundam metallic marker orange for the blade, mr super clear gloss, panel lined with panel line markers, touched up, mr topcoat gloss on the blade & piping and Mr. Topcoat Flat for the rest of it

MG 2.0 Tri-Stars Zaku II: Ortega, Gaia, and Mash

So this is a kit i do not own, but was gifted these figures by a friend. So of course i painted them. I didn't know their names when i painted them, and also i thought Ortega had a beard (he does not, i misinterpretted the scultpt). These guys i are one of my more recent paints, and i used the magnifying goggles for these boys too. They were shaded with nuln oil after being hit with Mr Super Clear Gloss. However, you can sadly see that i overdid the Mr Topcoat Flat, it kinda pooled up in Mash's arms and you can kinda see the solidified spray unfortunately. That might be fixable, but i didn't feel like doing that for now. Also, these were also custom bases. My friend also gave me only 2 of the 3 pilot figures for this kit (because apparently she glued one inside the cockpit lol). I painted them too, but i have no model kits to put them in. I believe the one on the left is Mash (I think because of the scar), and since the one on the right is the same size as the one on the left, i suspect he is Gaia. So i conclude that Ortega is in my friend's tri star zaku. But she said she glued the pilot in, so there's no way to confirm anymore.

However, despite not having kits to put them in, i do have Tri Star Haros to display these boys with! It's almost like they're in the tri star suits!

I did properly match each figure to the proper tri-star number: Ortega is 06, Gaia is 03, Mash is 02.

RG Char's Z'Gok: Char Aznable

So of all the figures i've displayed so far, they have all been 1/100 (if from Master Grades) or 1/60 (if from Perfect Grades). This is the first 1/144 scale figure i did and it came from the RG line. So this boy is extra tiny. Believe it or not, this was from one of my first runs of painting in 2023. I find it surprising because now i look at it and i think it's surprisingly "clean" (though no mask on his eyes). Part of that is because i decided not to try to panel line these tiny figures, as they're too small. I did this all without magnification, too. I intend to make a separate post for the Z'Gok eventually. Keep in mind, RGs do not have "pilot figures", so there's nothing to show inside the mech suit. However, i do have one more "Bonus Post":

RG Crossbone Gundam: Kincade Nau

PG Unleashed RX-78-2: Amuro Ray and Sayla Mass

I've already posted these guys but let's ass some scale, for fun.

I don't have much new to say about these guys, except that they were the first figures i painted in my "second run" of figure painting. I'll go into more detail about this later. I painted them and the others according to the color guide provided in the manual, as best i could. I think Sayla's collar badges could be done better and tbh, i can still fix that. I'll give an update if i do. Anyway, this kit came with TWO pilot figurines that sit inside the core fighter / cockpit. I present to you images of them in their homes:

This also serves as a preview for some parts of the PGU! I don't believe i made a post yet about the final build. I still need to do that, as well as edit the VODs of the build (the painting was also done on camera! ... mostly. I did some touchups off camera). This is the core fighter, and if you want you can put it inside the mobile suit, but there's no reason to. So i prefer to have it displayed outside, because there's a separate "core block" that you can also put inside the gundam, and it also has its own pilot!

Let's move on. I have many more Amuros for you. But first, a diversion! (EDIT: Turns out tumblr posts can only have 30 images at once. I was originally going to put Tobia Arronax here, but then i wouldn't be able to include the full set of EFSF characters here. So go check out the first entry of the part 2 post here: https://www.tumblr.com/sylviegunpla/753409506351939584/gunpla-completed-collection-of-minis-part-2 and then come back to this post)

MG 2.0 RX-78-2: Amuro Ray

This is the civilian outfit Amuro from the MG 2.0 kit. This was one of the "first runs" of minis i painted, i think in Fall 2023. I was convinced i could panel line it and make it look good. Honestly it looks fine at a distance but with the details blown up... well you can see it's a mess. Still, not bad for an early work. The rightmost image is when it was WIP, before being panel lined. TBH that might have looked better if i kept it that way, but you live and learn! This kit also had a pilot outfit figure:

This was also one of my early paints. Here you can see the panel line colors just running wild. I think the civilian outfit has less bleed at least. The helmet is also messy as hell. And as for the pilot that sits in the core fighter... well the actual model kit is currently disassembled for painting, but i can show you the pilot figurine.

Once i finish the MG 2.0 RX-78-2, i'll include an additional picture here. {NOTE TO SELF: INCLUDE PILOT IN COCKPIT PHOTO LATER}

I still have yet more Amuros though! At a local build jam, i've been gifted some minis that people don't want to paint. I got two extra figures of Amuro Ray, that match the sculpt above. I'm not sure if they're from the MG 2.0 or the MG 3.0 RX-78-2, but i referenced the color guide specifically from MG 3.0 for these. I also painted them this year, so you can begin to see the difference. Why not get the extra practice in, ya know? The biggest differences between my old minis and the more recently painted ones are two fold: 1) I started properly thinning my paints (which i did for the PGU figures, they were the first of the "new" line). 2) Eventually, i began using a pair of binocular magnifying goggles i could wear on my head, giving me a better ability to see mini details. I think the difference speaks for themselves:

For the one on top, i did a basic paint with flat coat, no panel lining or anything. Since i had two, why not experiment a bit. THe second one, i coated it in Mr Super Clear Gloss and then used some Citadel Paints Nuln Oil (gifted from a friend who's into warhammer) to achieve the "panel lining" / "shading". I think it turned out okay ultimately. I think the nuln oil works as a better panel liner over the super clear than some other pigments i've used, but it depends on the technique and precision involved. Oh yeah, and all these based were also custom made. Here's all 3 standing together!

Lookit those boys!!

MG Hi-ν (Hi-Nu) Ver. Ka: Amuro Ray

I think he's supposed to be older than in the previous kits here? You can see i opted NOT to panel line this boy... well except the line down his back which imo kinda turned out not that great looking. I probably could have used some nuln oil to highlight some of his facial details and give the impression of having eyes. ANd then here is the pilot figurine:

I'll get pictures of this kit entirely in a separate post, too. Right now the kit is disassembled and i need to re-assemble it. It's not a "WIP" kit, the kit itself is all done, got water slide decals, even has the "Heavy Weapons System" setup. Here, i DID use nuln oil, to try to highlight some of the suit details. I'm not sure if the lighting is blown out here, but it's also accurate to say that the suit details didn't come out as nicely highlighted as i'd wanted them to. Still, he's gonna live inside a clear green plastic sphere once he goes inside, so it won't be easy to see anyway.

BONUS: Watch this boy get Cask of Amontillado'd (and additional pics) I have to admit, sometimes when painting i'm having trouble finding the actual details through a layer of paint. I suspect the Mr. Hobby Aqueous Line may not be as useful for hand painting tiny boys like this, but it's also the set of paints i decided to slowly acquire over multiple years, so it's what i'm using. The Citadel acrylic paints seem to not glob up as much.

MG RB-79 "Ball" Ver. Ka: EFSF Workers

These boys were also among some of my earlier paints in 2023. You can see i globbed up some paint on one of the faces and kinda ruined it. I think the panel lining is mostly okay, but yeah. This kit also didn't have a color guide, so i basically eyeballed the colors. This kit is also one of the ones i have fully disassembled in the process of painting, so the whole build will eventually be its own post too. This thing also has a pilot figurine that lives inside the ball. I took some pictures highlighting the pilot, but i haven't applied decals to the inner ball yet.

However, i did get some duplicates of the standing workers from someone at one of the first build jams i went to! Which i used as an opportunity to just... get more practice, and try to paint these guys again.