sweater weather

‘ no, they get them from some company, it’s the sororities who run it, but i volunteered to deliver some on campus. ’ she said softly before glancing at sydney’s eyes when she apologised, unsure how to take it. ‘ thanks, it’s fine though. cards fall where they do and we can just be civil and – you know polite since we’ve mutual friends and are on the same campus. ’ she nodded  

“Ah okay. Well, they’re cute, for sure.” The girl nodded as she put the basket back on the trolley again. “I was actually hoping we could be more than just civil.” she spoke softly, awkwardly shuffling her feet for a moment. “What I texted you last night.. I really didn’t mean to write all that stuff. You caught me off guard and I dealt with that probably in the worst way possible. As you’ve probably noticed already, I’m really bad at this friend stuff and social stuff in general. Actually, I’m bad at everything in general.” Sydney breathed out a sigh and looked down at her cigarette, avoiding the blonde’s gaze. “Including apologizing.. but I uh, I hope you can forgive me, even though I know I don’t really deserve it. You’re.. You’re too important to me to lose, Lux.”

Wesley: Thanks babe ;)

Wesley: Oh, The Titanic, for sure.

Wesley: I mean, that ending??? So scary!!

Wesley: what about you?

Sydney: Especially that deleted scene, where Rose gets eaten by a shark.

‘ things have been rough. ’ she said ‘ but it’s going to get better and i’m going to get better then i’ll be back and to normal. ’ she assured her.

“Get better from what?” Sydney asked, arching an eyebrow. “Wait, are you sick? What’s going on?”

Wesley: Huh?

Wesley: Oh. It's Wesley.

Wesley: This /is/ Sydney, right?

Sydney: Wesley? That's a cute name.

Lucas: Did you push her to get behind the wheel? I doubt it. In fact, knowing what I do about that girl, it was probably her own idea.

Lucas: being a bystander and being at fault are two majorly different things, Sydney.

Lucas: Okay maybe /I/ can't hut maybe actually talking to someone who knows how to help will.

Sydney: Don't talk about her like that...

Sydney: So you really think I'm not guilty at all? Even though I just let it happen? Even though I only got drunk because I wanted her to like me? Even though I gave her my carkeys? Lucas, how the hell is it not my fault?

‘ i’ve just been…busy with my podcast and stuff, nothing of interest. i’m thinking of leaving for a while, so like, if i do and i don’t say goodbye or something, don’t hate me, yeah? ’

“Leaving? And where would you be going then?” Sydney frowned. "No offense, Ramirez, but you sound like you’re full of shit right now and I don’t believe for a second that you’ve just been busy. Talk to me, please! We’re friends, whatever you’ve been up to, you know I’m not gonna rat you out, right?”

lux would like to walk away and tell sydney where she could put her small talk but she was too polite and too awkward to do any of the such so she chewed her lip and nodded as she replied. ‘ i’m good, really good. ’ she said, which was a lie but it was the go-to response when someone hurt your feelings. ‘ crush baskets - people anonymously say who they fancy and we go around giving them. i’m doing the rouge ones since most go to the frats and sororities. ’

Lux didn’t seem to be doing even almost as good as she claimed to be doing, but Sydney decided not to question her. “Okay, I’m glad.” she replied, taking a drag from her cigarette before she got up. “Did you make those baskets yourself or something?” she asked, taking one off the trolley to have a closer look, before glancing up at the blonde again. “Sorry about yesterday, by the way...”

Wesley: Hey!

Wesley: Just checking in to make sure everything is set for Tuesday night?

she smiled and clapped for sydney when she took her heel out of the dirt. ‘ thank you! ’ she cooed. ‘ i was at a party and got too involved, i’m good, i’m just chilling. ’ she promised. ‘ we can hang out and smoke a bit if you like? ’ she offered.

"It seems to me  like the last thing you need right now is a smoke, Ramirez.” Sydney retorted, knitting her brow together. “But at least you seem sober enough to have a conversation with, so let’s talk. What’s up with you lately? I feel like ever since you dropped out of college, you kinda just dropped off the earth at the same time.”

the last person she wanted to run into - literally or figuratively was before her and she quickly glanced down pretended to rearrange the baskets. ‘ hey. sorry the wheel mechanism on this is shotty. ’ she nodded awkwardly. 

“Oh, it’s okay. I mean, it happens.” Sydney replied softly, rubbing the painful spot on her back. It was most likely going to bruise, but she figured it was probably karma for hurting Lux’s feeling yesterday. Trying to break the awkward silence between them, she asked, “So uh, how are you? And what’s with the trolley?” 

Lucas: Sydney there is no possible way that her death is your fault.

Lucas: Did you know that she was gonna get into an accident? Did you know that she was going to /die/ if she got behind the wheel?

Lucas: My guess is no, you didn't. And that you were probably pretty drunk yourself, right? Which means you didn't have your wits about you either. So even if you could have known any of that would happen, your judgement would have been clouded too, right? She used to drink all the time, this isn't in any way your fault.

Lucas: We do crazy things for love, Sydney. I'm sure she loved you just as much. And she wouldn't want you blame yourself for this.

Sydney: No, but I could have stopped her! If I wasn't so selfish and pushy with her, then she wouldn't be dead.

Sydney: I was drunk, but only because I wanted to impress her! Not exactly an excuse now is it?

Sydney: She didn't. She didn't love me..

Lucas: What? How is that even possible? How is it your fault?

Lucas: You are /not/ a piece of shit, Sydney. Don't put yourself down like that. The last thing I'd ever call you is a piece of shit.

Lucas: And I'll /always/ be your friend. Even if you did actually kill a girl... Which I doubt.

Sydney: Because...

Sydney: I love her, ok? I was in love with her!

Sydney: And I wanted her to like me back.. but she didn't...

Sydney: I tried to move on, tried dating someone else but it didn't work. I just wanted her.. so I figured if I was more like her that maybe she'd like me.

Sydney: That's why I went to these crazy parties with her.. why I starting drinking.. why I started smoking pot..

Sydney: If I didn't.. if I told her no, if I refused to give her my carkeys..

Lucas: What?

Lucas: Sydney you're my best friend. You can tell me anything. No matter what, I'll be there for you.

Lucas: What could possibly be so bad that you can't tell /me/?

Sydney: Not this.

Sydney: If you knew about this, you'd never speak to me again.

Sydney: But maybe that's what I deserve.

Sydney: I don't deserve any friends. I'm a piece of shit.

Lucas: We all make mistakes sometimes, Syd. Whatever's got you feeling blue can be fixed, I promise.

Lucas: Why? What's wrong?

Sydney: Not every mistake. Not this.

Sydney: I can't tell you, okay?