Switchy+Reaps

Never have I been so flaming angry in all my life. Clarice Shawe is going to feel regret, I can absolutely attest to that. 

Perhaps a bit of clarification is in order. I hate and fear clowns. I loathe them utterly. They are what I see on fear toxin, so you can probably imagine my face as she forced me to sit through IT. I am now even further scarred, but I made it through. 

But some time after, while I was asleep, she managed to sneak up on me and...and...

Well I woke up during the middle of the night for the bathroom and ended up screaming the entire place awake. 

Somehow, she painted Joker's likeness on me and it won't come off. She, of course, thinks it's utterly hilarious. 

Switch here! So, we finally got a day off, and by getting a day off, I finally worked so damn hard Riddler had nothing left to torture me with. Clarice on the other hand just told Scarecrow she was going drinking. *mumbles angrily* Anyway, we're on our fifth? Fifth drink of the night and we're talking gossip.

Fr' instance: The Ratcatcher, that idiot, has taken it upon himself to expand his repertoire to include...Fleas. Yes. Fleas. I mean what's wrong with him?

Ivy's been having creeper troubles (yes, pun intended.) There are apparently people who want to be mindless plant food. Go figure. 

And finally: Joker and Harley had another bust up. Urgh, can they EVER get along? I'm so glad she isn't my BFF. She's staying at Ivy's and by all accounts, Joker showed up with a boomquet. A bouquet of dynamite.

I am done. I am done trying to understand what the fuck their relationship is about. 

Well, I'm back! I've been...tied up...lately and finally freed myself up to post something new.

Anyway...the kid forgave me because of the doughnuts.

Thank God, I thought she was going to hold that against me forever. Look! I'm sorry, but it's not my fault that you...and that that happened!

Alright, this is Switch with the juiciest thing ever. Riddler will KILL me if he ever finds out I uploaded this but screw him, he's in Belle Vue again. It'll teach him to ignore Lex Luthor and his requests the next time he asks. 

What we have here is the most recent photo I could find. Man, he looks crazier than usual. Behind him you see our plans on a handy dandy wall. Is that HangBat in the background? I always lose but that's not a bad thing. I think I remember this. Yes! We'd just finished putting together another deathtrap! Which explains why he looks like he's been rolling around in mud. I looked worse. Yeesh. Gotham's filthy. The goggles, oooh the goggles! I have no idea where he found them but he likes them and he's keeping them. Not sure how Clarice feels about that. 

Alright. I forgave Reaper for her little stunt gone wrong, not because it's the right thing to do or anything like that. If I did then I'm in the wrong line of work. I forgave her because she brought me donuts. Jam-filled donuts. I freaking love donuts. Ohmigawd. Is there a donut blog on this thing? I must find out. 

In the explosive finale to the Arkham series, Batman faces the ultimate threat against the city he is sworn to protect. The Scarecrow returns to unite an imp...

Reaper: ...I don't see us. Why don't I see us?

Switch: Because the game makers didn't think we were important enough to be included.

Reaper: Not important?! Not important?! Who the hell do they think hides those damned trophies and kidnaps those damned test subjects?!

Switch: And kidnaps the hostages?

Reaper: And does corpse duty? And helps make toxin?

Switch: And gets beaten to a pulp by thugs from other gangs? And Batman?

Reaper: ...Don't you mean Bondageman?

Switch: Yes but the better question is why is Penguin wearing pimp chains?

Reaper:...Yeah why is he? 

Switch: Seriously though, Reaps, you're going to be busy. 

Reaps: Umm...dosing someone with fear toxin or fear gas? No! No! Mojitos. Mojitos make me feel better. I like throwing parties for my liver.

Switch: *mumbles something under her breath*

Reaper: Huh?

Switch: Watching Disney movies, okay?!

Why did I agree to let Clarice document our escapades and criminal activity? Moreover - When the hell did we get a Tumblr? She's currently doing ladylike things in the bathroom and has threatened to introduce me to the world as a raving lunatic unless I do it myself. Hi. I'm a raving loony from Arkham. My name is Dead Switch. No, I do not like clowns.No, I will not be your friend, I have plenty and yes I'm really from Arkham. It's a dump.