CHANNEL 21

i fucking hate it here. i hate every fucking thing. no one really even cares here, it's all play pretend and we have to just go along with anything and everything. because what else is there to do, we dont want to end up alone. but am i tired of hurting. am i fucking TIRED of relying on them and just getting hurt every day. am i tired of being so obsessed and for what. what do i get out of being obsessed. hurt. nothing but hurt. i lose friends and so many things out of it. i hate everything. im hurting so bad and no one truly cares. no one can do anything about it. everyone says they want to help but then when you ask for help, nothing. i could do something really drastic but id hurt us, them and others. you'd think this is how i SHOULD be becwuse of how we were treated flr months. you think i should be like this, that this is normal, but fucking no of course not. nothing we ever do is right and we're constantly in the wrong fkr being upset over it. WE'RE in the wrong for getting hurt. were in the wrong for asking for help and expecting it when its said itll be given. but no, no. we got lovebombed. thats the fucking term. offered so much affection, love, help, everything. and now nearly all of it is gone. and we arent allowed to get upset over it. we cant be or else we're bad, we're toxic, we're unheslthy. god ami just so happy arent i just so fuckingg bfdyssiaasdhffbfbfdvdddhdhdsejheddjdhdjddhhddgd

it's so hard to believe our partners dont care or even likes the fact that were, fat

everyones gotten whatthey want out of me, ive bentand molded myself so much for eople to be happy but when do i get to be happy. when do i get myhappiness. im onlythis way because of whatyou made me. now iwant to be happy. i want to be happy. i want to know whay its like to be you. i wantot crawlin your skin and be you. youre perfect. whycsnt i be. fuck you. ihate you. fucky yo.