It wasn't any of those painful moments you wished you could selectively erase from your memory, even if it meant erasing the last memory you have of him. 

It was afterward, in the quiet, deafening silence. During the hollow moments that felt heavier than the weight of the world, left by the absence of him and the mourning of what could’ve been.  

Because for the past year, your mind has been nothing but a graveyard of your what-ifs; your mind entertained each one even when your heart begged for it to stop.

What if you had stayed as his friend instead?

What if you had chosen to simply remain as the girl who sat beside him during lunch as he discussed rocket engines as if they were his second nature?

What if you had chosen to be selfless instead of selfishly pushing your feelings onto him all those years ago in high school, merely because the silent act of loving him began to hurt? 

Perhaps then you wouldn’t have to bear the weight of losing him entirely—with nothing left of him for you to hold on besides the burning blend of memories that haunted you constantly.

Perhaps then you could’ve remained in his life alongside everyone else, even if that meant cheering and watching him from a distance instead of being right next to him.

If that had been the case, perhaps then the 4th of January wouldn’t feel like a funeral full of mourning, heavy with the reflections on what could have been and what was lost, hidden beneath the facade of a joyous celebration.

Had you truly understood Senku better than anyone else—or were you simply deluded by the fantasy of loving him meant understanding him? 

No. You did understand him. You understood that science would always come first among anything else, even when he repeatedly told you a relationship with him would feel like war against his love for science, after your stubborn acts of love. 

You understood that loving Senku meant a battle of sacrifices in their rawest, most merciless form. 

Though that may possibly have been the problem. Maybe you had spent years understanding him, that neither of you had noticed the cracks that began to form.

The calls were once a regular part of the routine you both shared, gradually reduced in length; conversations that were once flowing easily, depleted into quick exchanges as you fought for a space between rocket simulations and research deadlines. 

“You’re still awake?”

“I wanted to hear your voice, Sen.”

“It’s two in the morning there.”

“Yeah, and it’s the only time I can talk to you.”

At first, the distance felt survivable—it was nothing against the stubborn trait of yours that Senku loved the most about you. It was painful, yet manageable, for you thought love could prevail any distance as long as you were patient enough.

Because, despite being oceans apart, Senku still sounded like the Senku that made you fall victim to Cupid’s arrow. 

Still remembered to text you when deadlines changed. Still rambled absentmindedly about his aerospace engineering theories in ways for you to understand easily. Still made the effort to make it up to you after postponing dates, with a gesture as simple as ordering your favorite food or sending you a new invention or scientific solution of his.

And perhaps that was why you failed to notice the subtle shift that began to slowly kill you from within, like a silent poison seeping through your veins, eroding the strength you once had.

It happened slowly—cruelly slow as if you were stabbed and left to bleed out, alone.

“Sorry. The meeting about the research funding ran longer than expected.”

“Again, Sen?”

“...Yeah.”

Over time, plans became tentative and hung in the air, waiting to be fulfilled yet constantly postponed.

“Can we move tonight’s call?”

“You said that for the third time this week, Sen.”

“...Yeah. Got stuck running experiments.”

Conversations that once lasted through hours dwindled into less than ten-minute check-ins, slowly turning into something scheduled, then forgotten entirely as an argument surfaced instead.

“You’re making this a bigger deal than it already is.”

“That’s because it is a big deal, Sen. You said you’ll fly back in time for our anniversary— Do you even miss me?”

“That’s a stupid question to ask, of course I do.”

“...Then why can’t I feel like you do?”

Another month, another project, another delay. However, how much more could you take before you fell apart completely? 

The most painful part wasn’t the constant battle for his attention—no, it was the fact that you knew that he had never meant to hurt you. You knew that. You knew that better than anyone else. 

Yet you should’ve known that a battle where all you did was bleed while constantly trying to be the bravest soldier, was doomed to end before you could even reach the frontlines. Especially while he remained oceans away, chasing stars instead of wars.

The events of the last time you saw him, heard of him, and from him, replayed in your mind constantly; a thought you could never push down despite the numerous attempts. 

Because how could you possibly forget the last memory you shared with him? How, when it was the moment you wiped the joy on his face from finally seeing you after months spent oceans apart, with a simple, “Senku, I can’t do this anymore.”

The memory kept burning through your head throughout the whole morning and afternoon of January 4th. You thought it would eventually numb you by repeatedly playing, but no: each repeat felt worse than the last, as the memories of all the previous 4th of January bled through, offering an awfully painful combination that you didn’t ask for. 

“I should’ve bought a strong dose of melatonin and slept the whole day.” You groaned into your hands, body falling in defeat against the couch. 

Your energy had been completely drained after a whole day of distracting yourself from your thoughts—to which you failed miserably. Your bookshelf suddenly felt interesting to clean, a long afternoon walk suddenly felt productive, heck—even cleaning out your phone’s storage did. 

Though, of course, you avoided the locked album with a pin you were too familiar with, it became an instinct. 

Mustering the remaining energy you had, your hand reached out for your phone on the coffee table, fingers scrolling for a certain group chat:

You guys wanna crash at my place tonight? Please bring anything but alcohol. I need to stay sober, or else I’ll do something stupid. (╥_╥)

And that was exactly how Yuzuriha, Kohaku, and Nikki ended up in your apartment at 7 PM, with every food that could bring you comfort. 

“How long do you plan to pretend your phone doesn’t exist?” Nikki pointed out, her voice slicing through your self-destructing thoughts. 

You turned to her with a weak smile that tried to casually shrug off the weight of the question. “Hah? What are you talking about?”

Her eyes narrowed. “You aren’t exactly subtle about it.” 

Yuzuriha’s hands offered a glass of water after you emotionally went through a bag of chips on your own. “Right. We could see you trying not to check your phone every five minutes, y’know?’’

Kohaku sighed beside you. “I can’t imagine her and subtle in one sentence. It’s especially worse when it comes to Senku.” 

Your body froze, heart skipping a beat at the mention of his name. You tried to brush it off, really. “Who said it was about him?”

All three of them looked at you with faces that screamed: Are you hearing yourself right now?

There was a brief moment of silence before you raised your hands in the air, expressing your guilt. “Okay, okay, it’s about him. Please stop looking at me like that before I have the emotional breakdown I’ve been trying to hold in since I woke up today.”

The three of them exchanged looks before their gazes landed on you again. Not judgmental, not annoyed, just gazes that held a painful understanding of your situation. Which somehow made your chest hurt worse.

Yuzuriha was the first to soften, her hand already reaching out for your shoulder to give it a gentle squeeze in hopes of anchoring you down. “It’s okay to miss him, you know.”

A laugh escaped from your lips, shaky and barely steady as you tried to joke. “Yeah, well, I’ve been missing him for almost a year straight, so I’m kinda getting tired of it.”

There was another silence that filled the gloomy atmosphere. 

You pulled your knees closer to your chest as if you were trying to comfort yourself. Your eyes stared blankly at the now untouched food on your coffee table. 

Outside, the city lights glittered quietly through your apartment windows. And somewhere out there, Senku was celebrating his birthday— without you for the first time in over a decade. 

He never made birthdays a big deal before you forcefully waltzed into his life. Apparently, it was just a regular day except for the fact that he was a year older—his words, of course. 

Though the stubbornness in you refused to acknowledge the fact that birthdays were meaningless to him. Because to you, they were the total opposite. Hence, you made it your personal mission to always celebrate his birthday, to show him it wasn’t just a regular day.

Perhaps that is why January 4th lingered in your mind like a persistent whisper that refused to be silenced. You always went above and beyond to plan a celebration, no matter the distance between the two of you. 

Whether he was oceans away or just a short walk down the street, you always willingly greeted him at exactly midnight to ensure you were the first person he would receive a “Happy birthday!” from. 

You meticulously gathered the friends he merely “tolerated”, ensuring that their presence made him realize it was more than a regular day, and your hands would always be the ones to clutch the candlelit cake, standing proudly at the center of it all.

And despite the way Senku would always say you did too much, the warm smile on his face said otherwise as he gazed at you instead of the cake you held out. Because even when everyone’s gaze and attention were on him, his remained on you. 

You ran a hand across your face, eyes staring at your friends slightly. “Why didn’t you guys attend the party? I’m sure Ryusui planned one.”

Kohaku crossed her legs. “He did. With Gen, too, actually. We chose not to go.”

You tilted your head in confusion, though part of you was happy that they kept the celebrations going even when you, the person who made the biggest deal out of it, was no longer part of it. 

“Why? Knowing Ryusui, it must’ve been grand. Why would you guys skip potentially amazing food and alcohol?” You tried to joke. None of them laughed.

Nikki raised a brow and grinned. “You think we’ll leave you alone to drown in your own thoughts? Not a chance.”

You faked a frown. “Nooo, I wanted to ask you guys if I passed down the torch successfully.”

And for the first time since they’ve arrived at the comfort of your home, they actually laughed. 

“Ryusui and Chrome most likely posted everything on their insta stories by now,” Kohaku said, to which you all agreed without a fight. 

“We could check them if you’re so eager to find out if you succeeded,” Nikki suggested carefully. 

You turned to Nikki with a small laugh escaping your lips. “You know, if I were drunk, that would’ve sobered me up instantly.”

Everyone shared another laugh at your comment. It was the kind of laughter that existed only to keep heavier emotions from crumbling completely. 

The scent of takeout lingered warmly in your apartment living room, though none of you had touched the food in several minutes.

And despite your best efforts in dismissing Nikki’s idea, your mind wouldn’t let you. It felt pathetic, honestly. You weren’t even sure why you badly wanted to see whatever Ryusui or Chrome posted online. Were you seeking reassurance that Senku wasn’t celebrating alone? Or do you just want to see him again?

With a sigh, you heard Nikki’s voice slice through your reverie again. “Hey, if you wanna check the stories, you should.”

“That’s basically telling her to ruin her progress in moving on!” Kohaku argued, to which Nikki shook her head. 

“Maybe, but that wasn’t my intention. We all know she won’t stop thinking about it, and it will kill her for days after this if she doesn't check.”

You groaned into your knees, “I hate that you're absolutely right, Nikki.” 

She chuckled, hand already reaching out to unlock her phone. For a moment, she exchanged glances with Kohaku and Yuzuriha before returning to you. 

“Are you sure about this?” 

You paused, head slowly rising up from the comfort of your knees. “...Yeah, sure. Whatever makes me sleep tonight.” 

A few seconds passed with just the dialogue from a forgotten movie on your television screen, filtering the atmosphere. 

And then, you heard it. The loud, familiar voices singing— no, screaming happy birthday. Or so at least you could distinctly hear the loud voices of Taiju and Chrome singing their hearts out. 

“Wow, they're as loud as ever,” Kohaku commented as she peeked through from Nikki's shoulder.

Yuzuriha's laugh diluted the forgotten dialogues. “I heard from Taiju that they wanted to make the celebration extra loud and special since Senku had just returned from space today.” 

Nikki's eyes narrowed in disbelief. “Man is really making the distance from space look like he's just flying from America back to Japan, huh.” 

You laughed, something between genuine amusement and hurt. Perhaps you were proud too that he had finally achieved his dream, even if it was when you were no longer in his life. “It's Senku we're talking about. We really shouldn't be surprised.” 

Your eyes couldn't be taken off Nikki's phone screen despite your chest tightening painfully. It was the first time you saw his face in almost a year—except for the moments you found yourself scrolling through a gallery of what were once happy memories—Gosh, were you that hurt mentally that it started to hurt physically again?

Your mind was wandering how he somehow looked more mature in a span of a year, or perhaps it was the exhaustion that hid behind the facade of his eyes and the signature smirk of his. Yet you knew him long enough to know the truth. 

Then, you noticed something. “Hey, why isn't anyone holding out the cake?”

Their gazes lifted from the screen and landed on your questioning gaze. There was a brief pause before Yuzuriha spoke out. “Ryusui said it was out of respect for you since you always held out his birthday cake.” 

You blinked, body desperately fighting out the tears that threatened to surface. “Hah…I guess I really passed the torch down successfully.” 

There was a faint crack in your voice, as if you were gathering every last ounce of your strength and self-respect to avoid breaking down completely.

A year ago, you were the one holding the candlelit cake close to his face, smiling the widest among everyone else, promising a lifetime of birthdays to spend together. This year, you were just staring at the celebration from a digital screen, miles away. How quickly for the tides to turn and for promises to end. 

“Hm, Chrome mentioned something about Senku looking for a lot area to build a house while he was visiting Ruri. Apparently, he and Gen tagged along when Ryusui helped Senku in sourcing out for one.” Kohaku added, eyes drifting back to you. 

Nikki turned to her, confused. “Why would Senku want to purchase a lot? And to build a house? I thought he was an apartment type of guy.” 

Yuzuriha nodded. “Yeah…Senku never seemed like the type to live in a house. He's always traveling between continents for his research, too.” 

Their voices began to fade as the realization hit you like a speeding truck with broken brakes. ‘Lot area? House?’ 

Your heart stumbled painfully at the thought because deep down, you knew that there was only one possible reason—unless you were pooled by delusion instead of remembrance—that Senku Ishigami would ever consider purchasing land over a convenient apartment.

And suddenly, you were fresh out of university again, lying across Senku’s bed at nearly midnight while the soft glow of his desk lamp illuminated the dark room. 

The rhythmic scratching of his pencil against paper filled the quiet silence that settled in the room as a blueprint lay flat on his desk. 

“You should be asleep already. Is the light too bright?” He asked without looking away from the blueprint, yet he moved the lamp closer to him and farther from your eyes.

You shook your head, “No.”

“Tch. You’ve got work tomorrow, get some sleep.” 

You chose to lie flat on his bed instead, eyes staring directly at the ceiling with barely attached glow-in-the-dark stars. “But you’re working right now, and I want to watch.”

A soft click of his tongue followed, and even after years, the sound still made you feel warmth blooming stupidly without permission in your chest. 

You shifted again, legs nearly tangling with the soft blanket. Your chin rested atop a pillow as you watched him silently with nothing but love and admiration in your eyes. 

And truthfully speaking, you could spend hours doing this. Just silently existing beside him as he got lost in the field he was most passionate about. Because even when he worked, he never made silence feel lonely. 

“I just wanna spend time with you, Sen.” You mumbled sleepily, fighting the urge to close your eyes. “Even if it’s just watching you work.”

Finally, Senku’s eyes left the blueprint as he glanced at you. His expression softened faintly; it was brief yet enough. 

“What a sap.” Despite his insult, his hand reached out, sliding beneath the blanket to reach out for your hand, intertwining it with his as his gaze remained on the blueprint. 

You paused, blinking once, then twice, before a smile appeared on your face. Lazily, you traced shapes with your thumb against the back of his hand.

“Hey, Sen?”

He hummed, signaling you to continue, to which you did. “If you ever settle down one day, would you rather live in an apartment or a house?”

“Apartment.”

You blinked at the lack of hesitation in his voice. “That was way too fast. Did you even consider the other option?”

He nodded, scribbling something on the paper. “Less maintenance. More efficient and strategically better if I’m traveling constantly.”

Your eyes narrowed in disbelief. “Wow, that sounds incredibly romantic, Sen.”

He chuckled quietly, briefly glancing at you with a smirk on his face. “Should I become a poet and quit being a scientist then?”

You snorted at his joke, rolling your eyes playfully. But then, he said something with a voice softer than before. 

“But I’ll leave the decision to you.” 

Your heart skipped a beat almost instantly. “Wait— What?”

Senku hummed once more in response, making you pause as your mind gathered the next set of words you were going to say. “...You see me in your future?”

Finally, he looked at you properly. The blueprint and pencil momentarily forgotten as his chair turned to face you. And then, the fond gaze that settled in his eyes nearly melted you alive. 

“Of course I do.” His hand slipped out of your hold as he moved it higher to flick your forehead softly. “What made you even question that?”

Your chest felt embarrassingly warm right after. Yet despite that, a grin spread across your face easily. “Are you sure I’m the sappy one?” 

He didn’t answer. Instead, he clicked his tongue in annoyance, hand intertwining with yours again as he returned to his precious blueprint. 

However, you weren’t done. You sat up excitedly, more awake than ever, and the grin never left your face. “Okay then, I want a house with a huge living room with tall windows and really high ceilings.”

“And here I thought I was ambitious.” He mocked softly. 

You ignored his mocking response. “And a garden outside with all sorts of plants and flowers.”

“The maintenance would be hell.”

You ignored that as well. “And a library too,” you added with the biggest smile on your face. “Like one of those pretty libraries with ladders that slide across the shelves.”

He didn’t say anything this time, allowing you to ramble endlessly. 

“And obviously a huge lab for you with every equipment that you need, and an observatory so we could always stargaze together.”

“And you question who’s the sappy one?” He scoffed playfully in pretend disbelief. 

You laughed softly. Then, a sudden gasp escaped from your lips. “Can we have a weeping tree in the backyard?” 

Without even glancing at you, Senku replied immediately. “No. That’s a bad idea.”

You frowned, shifting closer to him. “Why?”

“Their root systems are highly invasive and seek ridiculous amounts of water constantly, which can destroy plumbing and septic lines, have a short lifespan, are pest and disease-prone—” 

You cut him off before he could list another issue, “Okay, okay, I get it, genius.”

He chuckled in victory, eyes briefly glancing at you. That was when he saw the look on your face, which clearly meant you were far from done. 

“Can’t you come up with one of your scientific solutions to fix those issues?”

Senku looked mildly offended at your question, and you heard him click his tongue. “Stubborn as ever, aren’t you? Obviously, but it would still be inefficient to plant one.”

“Fine,” You huffed dramatically. “A wisteria then. Or cherry blossoms.”

“Hm. Acceptable.”

You grinned triumphantly before squeezing his hand once. And despite Senku’s focus on his blueprint, he returned the gesture instantly. Soft, firm, and grounding. As if the future you had described had already become his to accomplish, too. 

The voices around you faded into nothing but muffled noises you couldn’t hear as your mind echoed violently with memories that resurfaced with cruel clarity. 

Your chest tightened painfully again, as if your ribs were one squeeze away from crushing your lungs and heart. Because you had genuinely thought that conversation had only mattered to you—that maybe Senku had forgotten it beneath the pile of rocket launches, research papers, and years spent chasing stars that made you feel he was beyond your reach. 

Yet no, he remembered. He remembered that he actually started looking for land. And that realization hollowed whatever was left from inside you. 

You could hear Kohaku’s voice sounding distant as she called out your name, though you didn’t reply. 

Your eyes remained fixed somewhere past your coffee table filled with untouched food, past the forgotten television, past the city lights that continued to glow outside of your apartment. 

You were physically present. Your body was there, yet it felt like you were mentally trapped years ago inside of Senku’s apartment as he held your hand while listening to you ramble about a future that wasn’t given a chance to exist. 

Back when loving him was as easy as breathing.

You could hear Nikki’s voice come closer as she tried to get your attention. Still, you barely reacted. 

Your breathing started feeling strangely uneven, as if your lungs had suddenly forgotten how to function properly. 

A hand touched your shoulder as Yuzuriha called out your name, louder and clearer. 

You blinked more than once as reality seeped through, all at once. The warm lights of your apartment, the untouched food scattered across the coffee table, and your friends staring at you with worried faces.

Yuzuriha’s brows furrowed as her hand remained on your shoulder. “You’ve been spacing out since Kohaku mentioned the lot.”

Silence. You remained silent. Your lips parted slightly, yet no words came out. And suddenly, as if the last line of defense had been breached, your vision blurred. 

‘No— not now out of all times—’

You tried to inhale sharply, yet it came out shaky instead. You instantly looked away while rubbing your eyes quickly before a tear could fall.

“Sorry,” even your laugh came out shaky. “I’m fine, just—”

Your voice cracked, and that was all it took before the dam broke completely. 

A tear slipped down your cheek before you could stop it, followed by another. Your hand flew to your mouth as if you could physically force all of the emotions that had escaped back inside of yourself again.

Except you couldn’t. You no longer could. The grief felt too unbearable as you mourned the future that almost existed— could’ve existed. 

Yuzuriha immediately moved closer, arms already reaching out to hug you tightly as if she could keep whatever remained intact. 

“I’m sorry—” you whispered shakily as you fought back a sob, shaking your head quickly. “I don’t even know why I’m crying this much. It’s been so long since I did. It’s stupid—”

“It’s not stupid,” Nikki said softly, eyes exchanging glances with the other two.

You wanted to stop, you really did. You didn’t want them to see you weak and crying again, as if the wound left by the breakup was still fresh. Perhaps it was, perhaps it had never been healed at all.

“I wish…” Your voice cracked badly. “I wish I could just hate him so moving on could’ve been easy—but no, it’s so hard to hate him at all.” You spoke out between heavy sobs. 

A shaky laugh escaped through your sobs. “I don’t know how to stop—Gosh, I still miss him.”

Nobody tried to interrupt, offering their silent presence as comfort. They didn’t try to fix it because they knew there was nothing fixable about loving someone correctly at the wrong time.

“I really don’t know how to stop missing him— or loving him,” you finally admitted the truth that you constantly buried beneath a facade of distractions. “I don’t know how to stop missing him or loving him just because I have to.”

You wiped your tears aggressively, something he would most likely scold you for. “He’s still the first person I want to call when something good or bad happens.”

“Gosh, I even tear up whenever I pass by stores selling instant ramen because I remember how messed up his eating habits are. It’s no wonder he stayed a twink during university.” Another shaky laugh slipped from between the tears and your cracked voice. 

Your weak attempt to insult Senku didn’t go unnoticed by them as they snorted slightly. 

Nikki was the first to snort. “Okay, calling a literal astronaut who happens to be the most sought-after scientist too, a twink sounds insane now that his training paid off.”

Kohaku crossed her arms with a smile of amusement. “At least his progress had started to show.”

Yuzuriha let out a soft laugh, arms still holding you tight. “I still remember him forgetting to eat unless you physically handed him food.”

A broken laugh escaped you again as the memory appeared in your mind.

“Why am I even laughing and crying over instant ramen? I’m going crazy, aren’t I?” You asked them with tears flowing down your face while laughing with a broken smile. 

Despite the situation, that managed to earn a genuine laugh from them as Yuzuriha hugged you tighter and Kohaku walked to your kitchen to grab some tissues.

“No, no, you aren’t going crazy,” she soothed quickly as one hand reached out to lean your head on her shoulder. “Definitely heartbroken, but not crazy.”

Nikki sat beside you, “Honestly, this is healthier than whatever you thought was better to do for the past year.” 

“Which was repressing everything,” she added. 

“I really wish I could just hate him, not because I want to, but because maybe it’d be easier if I did.” You buried your face in the palms of your hands. “But then I also remember how hard he worked, how excited he looked while talking about space and rocket engineering as if the universe had personally asked him to.” 

A tear slipped down your cheek, “But how could I hate him for that? How could I hate him for simply dreaming?”

Kohaku returned quietly with a box of tissues. Then, she turned to you. “If it makes a difference, Senku actually loved you.”

Nikki’s eyes widened, “Kohaku—”

Kohaku blinked, staring at all of you with a confused look. “What? It’s true.”

Your head snapped upward as Kohaku frowned slightly before she continued. “He’s terrible at expressing emotions and might be the most affectionately constipated jerk on the planet, but he loved you. We all saw it.”

Your eyes watered dangerously again as you stared at her with wobbly lips. “Kohaku, I love you, but why would you tell me that right now?!” 

Yuzuriha rubbed your shaking arms gently as she panic-laugh beside you. “Haha…though it’s the truth, we should’ve worked on the delivery .”

Kohaku nodded, faces already running with guilt as she apologized. “You’re right, I’m really sorry. I just wanted to help.”

You laughed through your tears, smiling at her attempt as Nikki rested her head lightly against yours. “You know, sometimes people can love each other and still not know how to grow together.”

Your eyes squeezed shut at her comment. Maybe that was exactly the fate you and Senku fell victim to. He kept reaching for the stars, and somewhere between the ocean and skies, you stopped being able to reach him completely.

⋆⭒˚.⋆

Senku Ishigami had long accepted that his friends were both his greatest source of headache and one of the few things that kept him sane. Though he’d rather spend a lifetime with them than to admit it out loud.

According to the greediest man on the planet, Ryusui Nanami, every celebration deserved excess. Senku knew better that he just wanted another excuse to have all kinds of alcohol in one room for a night. 

Which could explain why Senku currently sat in a private lounge, owned by Ryusui, as his friends drowned themselves in expensive whiskey around him. 

The cake that was once glowing with a soft flame stared at him mockingly from across the table he was at. Nobody had dared to touch it, to hold it out for him as they sang happy birthday—and Senku didn’t need to calculate rocket science to figure out it was out of respect for you, the one who used to hold out the cake for him.

“Cheers!” Ryusui boomed loudly as he refilled everyone's drinks. 

Chrome was already tipsy along with Taiju as Ukyo tried to control their alcohol intake. 

Gen, however, remained close. His eyes observed the scientist in front of him, who nursed another glass of whiskey. At this point, the mentalist had lost count of how much Senku had drunk already. 

“Senku-chan, are you trying to break your record immediately after stepping into the Earth’s atmosphere?” Gen asked, wearing an expression of amusement and worry.

Senku, who had just drunk from his glass, raised a brow at him. “Hah? What are you talking about, mentalist?” 

Ryusui appeared again with a different bottle of alcohol in his hand as he offered Senku a lazy smirk. “Not to mention the constant checking of your phone, Senku. Waiting for someone, are we?”

Senku clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Tch. Shut up.”

Ryusui and Gen instantly shared a laugh as Senku muttered something along the lines of, “I should’ve stayed in outer space.”

For a moment, the sound of their snickering lingered in the air before Gen leaned forward with narrowed eyes at Senku. 

“You’re waiting for her birthday greeting, or even just a message from her, aren’t you?” 

A dangerous silence filled the atmosphere between the three of them. Then, Senku exhaled through his nose and took another sip. 

“...Yeah.” He gulped down another sip, and the burning feeling that ran through his throat began to numb. “It’s selfish considering how things ended.”

For a while, nobody spoke. Ryusui and Gen exchanged glances as the music in the bar suddenly sounded louder than before. The silence wasn’t awkward, just heavy with the regrets that constantly taunted Senku. 

Gen swirled the drink inside the glass he was holding; the intention of changing the topic appeared in his mind. “How’s the construction for the lot that you had recently bought, Senku-chan?”

Senku raised a brow, hand reaching out for the bottle near Ryusui to refill his glass. 

“The one near the outskirts,” Gen added. “Has construction started yet?”

“Nah.” Senku leaned back further into the cushion of the couch, an arm lazily draped over the backrest while the other held his whiskey glass. 

The familiar burning sensation met his throat again as he took another sip. “Still finalizing the design.”

Ryusui hummed, a brow raised as well. “Oh? I thought you had finished the draft weeks ago.”

“I did.”

“Then what’s the hold-up, Senku-chan?” Gen asked as he reached out for cola instead of whiskey.

“Had to revise the window structure,” Senku replied flatly.

“Window structure?” Ryusui repeated with a laugh of disbelief. “Since when did you start caring about aesthetics, Senku?”

“Natural lighting efficiency,” Senku answered instantly. “Large windows reduce daytime electricity usage.”

Ryusui hummed in response, though Senku knew from the grin on the sailor’s face that he knew more than he let on.

Gen blinked suspiciously, eyes shifting between the two before landing on Senku. “And the giant library? Why did you design a two-story library again?”

Senku didn’t answer, which enhanced Gen’s suspicion. Then, the mentalist’s expression transformed abruptly as realization slammed into him. 

“Oh.”

Senku clicked his tongue hard while Ryusui’s grin widened. The sailor even had the audacity to laugh behind his glass. 

“Have you finally figured it out, Gen?” He asked, eyes teasingly shifted towards Senku. 

Gen stared at Senku with an incredulous look on his face. “...The ideas for the house were never yours, were they, Senku-chan?”

Senku didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he chuckled bitterly as he stared quietly at the amber liquid swirling inside his glass before he downed it again. “...Yeah.”

Ryusui turned to Gen with another grin on his face. “You should’ve seen him compare land locations based on sunlight exposure, soil and terrain conditions, flood and hazard zones, distance from the city—”

“Yeah, yeah, no need to expose me further, Ryusui.” Senku cut him off in annoyance, though he didn’t deny anything.

Senku Ishigami—the man who dedicated his entire life to chasing the stars—had been planning a home permanent enough to always return to. And somehow, before construction could even start, he had already lost the part that made it feel like home.

“I want to call her. I want to apologize for being the biggest jerk on the planet— screw that, the whole of the Milky Way.” He admitted bluntly, making the other two stare at him in shock, though part of them already expected that Senku would say something like that. 

“Has the alcohol finally caught up with you, Senku-chan?” Gen teasingly asked. 

Senku shook his head. “Nah. I’m not stupid enough yet to act selfishly and ruin whatever progress she made in forgetting me.”

Ryusui leaned forward, hand placing his glass down. “But do you want to?”

Senku let out a laugh that sounded like a mix of honesty, bitterness, and disbelief. “Yeah, ten billion percent do.”

“Will you ask for Ryusui’s strongest bottle then, Senku?” Ukyo asked teasingly as he appeared out of nowhere and sat between Gen and Ryusui. His teasing tone earned a snort from both of them as they looked far too entertained at the situation bound to unfold in front of them.

Senku snickered behind his glass. “How much have you heard, Ukyo?”

“Enough to know that you could also be a love-sick fool.” He offered Senku a smile. 

Ukyo’s answer made the other two laugh out loudly as Senku playfully rolled his eyes before finishing the rest of his drink.

“Tch, you people are ten billion percent annoying.”

“And yet you’re here, Senku-chan.” Gen pointed out with a smug look on his face.

“Ryusui kidnapped me immediately after I landed. Didn’t even bother to say anything as he did.” Senku deadpanned.

Ryusui laughed loudly with a proud grin on his face. “Don’t ruin my reputation, Senku. I did what any other good friend should.”

Senku merely clicked his tongue, hand already reaching for the bottle before anyone could. 

“Oi,” Ryusui called out, a faint laugh hiding his concern. “Are you seriously trying to speedrun self-destruction immediately after returning from the ISS?” 

Gen chuckled nervously, “He already looks like he’s halfway there.” 

Ukyo sighed softly as he eyed the scientist with amusement and concern. “You do realize your alcohol tolerance isn’t infinite, right?”

Senku raised a brow. “Hah? Obviously.” 

“That’s not reassuring.” The other three said in unison.

Though Senku ignored them completely, quietly checking his smartphone for the hundredth time since he landed. And as if he didn’t hear Ukyo’s recent warning, his hand was already reaching out for an unopened bottle and opened it himself. The amber liquid reflected against the dim lights of the private lounge as silence eloped them briefly.

Gen leaned lazily against his palm before speaking. “For someone who claims that he doesn’t want to ruin her progress…Your actions say the opposite. How many times have you checked your notifications?”

Senku snickered before responding. “It’s called multi-tasking, Gen. Pretty basic skill.”

All three of them gave him a look that clearly said: Easy for you to say.

Ukyo leaned back, eyes studying Senku’s exhausted expression that he tried to hide. “You know, I think this is the most emotional we’ve ever seen you. Besides when your rocket first successfully launched into space, that is.”

“That was the happy type of emotional Senku; this one is the sad and regretful one.” Gen added beside Ukyo, earning a snort from Ryusui. 

“Must be the lowered gravity from space messing with my brain.” Senku reasoned casually. 

Ukyo and Gen sweat dropped visibly. “Sure, let’s all agree to blame NASA and JAXA for that.” 

Taiju suddenly appeared out of nowhere from behind Senku, voice suddenly serious as if he wasn’t drunk moments ago. “But do you still love her, Senku?”

Senku was faintly surprised— no, all of them were when Taiju suddenly joined the conversation. Yet a small smile appeared on Senku’s face, the softness, regret, and certainty hidden beneath the facade of his smugness. 

“That’s the dumbest question you could ever ask me, big-oaf.”

“Then why let her go if you still do, man?” Chrome asked out of nowhere as well, suddenly sober. Randomly appearing the same way Taiju did.

Senku blinked, eyes shifting between the two flatly. “Where the hell did you two even come from?”

“That’s not important right now!” Chrome shot back, climbing the couch from behind to sit next to Senku.

“It kinda is…” Ukyo sweat dropped.

“We heard everything, man!” Taiju added, far louder than chrome as he mimicked his actions.

Senku looked mildly annoyed as he downed a glass of whiskey. “Yeah? You two got Ukyo’s insane hearing now?”

The other three laughed instantly at the joke, looking far too amused at the growing crowd around Senku.

Chrome, however, wasn’t laughing. He had a frown on his face and looked too serious for someone who had been drunk minutes ago. “Honestly?” He glared at Senku. “That wasn’t a cool move from you at all, Senku.”

That made everyone glance at Chrome, and Senku looked at him with mild offense. “Hah?”

Chrome clicked his tongue out of frustration. His hand suddenly slammed his glass down, and a bit of whiskey splashed out. “You just let her go like that!”

The atmosphere shifted into silence instantly. Chrome rarely sounded angry at Senku. He was always admiring him. 

“I mean, c’mon,” Chrome continued roughly. “You’re literally one of the smartest guys on the planet— heck, the smartest.”  

“Tch, that's ten billion percent debatable.” Senku shot flatly.

“You’re the only guy on the planet who built a homemade rocket at the ripe age of ten!” Chrome snapped back. “How could you not come up with scientific solutions to keep her?!” 

A heavy silence followed Chrome’s frustrated outburst. The others remained silent as they watched his anger unfold. Because, despite how irrational Chrome sounded, he was logical in the language of love.

Chrome ran a hand through his hair. “If Ruri asked me to leave her someday, I won’t be able to do it. Even if she argues that it’s for the better— I just can’t do it.”

He looked genuinely devastated now, as if he was grieving a relationship that wasn’t even his. Then, he continued. “Because if you love someone, aren’t you supposed to fight for them?” 

Everyone saw how Senku’s expression faltered. It was barely noticeable, yet they saw it and knew that one hit him harder than his failed rocket launches.

For a moment, Senku remained silent as he looked at Chrome with an unreadable expression. With a voice that lacked his usual sarcasm, he admitted, “I did.”

Then, his gaze shifted towards his glass of whiskey. A bitter laugh followed right after. “You think I didn’t try?” 

“She genuinely looked so hurt and exhausted when she told me she couldn’t do it anymore.” He paused briefly. “I kept telling her and myself that things would calm down after every project.”

“I tried fixing it the same way I tried fixing everything else.” 

Everyone in the room knew that Senku expressed his care or love differently compared to others. He was never vocal about it; his actions always spoke out for him. Be it when you complained about winter being too cold, hence he modified thermal fabric and mailed it to Japan along with custom heatpacks. Or the time you told him you missed stargazing with him and his telescope, he custom-built a compact telescope to fit your apartment balcony and wrote a calendar of astronomical events for you. 

They were never just scientific solutions— no, that was just the way Senku Ishigami knew how to love. 

Gen, who was quietly listening the whole time, sighed softly as he had already decided to lend their dearest astronaut a hand. “In Senku-chan’s language, that was how he showed his version of devotion.”

Senku scoffed in annoyance. “Don’t make it sound weird, mentalist. Devotion is a strong word.”

“But it’s the truth, isn’t it?” Gen countered softly.

Then, he turned to the other scientist. “Chrome, most people would write poems or say ‘I love you’”, his gaze briefly returned to Senku. “But Senku-chan solved her problems as if it were rocket science.”

Ryusui snorted softly. “In other words, Senku modified science as a love language.” 

Gen dramatically pointed a finger at Senku. “He would rather rebuild modern civilization from scratch than to vocally express affection.” 

Somehow, that earned a laugh from everyone, even Senku himself. 

“The problem was,” he continued softly. “That she stopped needing solutions— she just wanted him.” 

Senku didn’t deny Gen’s conclusion; he knew he was right. He, himself, knew that the most. He could find a solution to anything as long as he dedicated himself to it.

But emotional reassurance? Senku could learn every complicated topic in the world, yet he would still lack the knowledge to give you what you needed the most.

It wasn’t the lack of love or effort that slowly made loving him hurt— no, it was the fact that two people were speaking different love languages. 

⋆⭒˚.⋆

The apartment was now occupied by silence again— except for the loud thoughts that refused to die down without a fight. 

Yuzuriha, Kohaku, and Nikki had returned home half an hour ago. You insisted they did despite their refusal. It was late, and you wanted to retire for the night, was the reason you gave them.

Yet you find yourself staring at your bedroom ceiling as if it could magically solve your problems. And of course, you didn’t need to be sober to realize it couldn’t. Though perhaps he could— no, scratch that, he was the problem you were currently facing. 

Sleep wasn’t coming around easily, nothing was really. You’ve tried about everything: a warm shower, walking around every corner of your apartment, wearing your comfiest pair of sleepwear, changing the temperature of your thermostat—yet nothing worked. 

Somehow, the sound of your clock on the bedside table was getting louder, as if it was personally mocking you as you resisted the urge that resurfaced countless times throughout the day. The urge to greet him happy birthday.

Your eyes shifted towards your phone that lay flat on the bedside table, next to your clock. If you weren’t spiraling, you would’ve laughed at the combination. 

There were exactly fifteen minutes left before January 4th ended. And for some reason, you couldn’t exactly tell if time was going by slowly or fast.

Your eyes shut close as you felt the pain in your chest start again. You repeatedly reminded yourself not to do it, not to ruin the progress you fought tooth and nail to build. 

Your fingers curled into the soft fabric of your blanket as your thoughts continued to clash against one another. Part of you didn’t want to, yet a bigger part of you wanted to. Because it’s his birthday. You had continuously greeted him for more than a decade, when you were merely a teenager who admired him, when he had yet to love you back. 

You used to stay awake until midnight just to ensure you were the first to greet him. And of course, Senku complained about it. Something along the lines of ruining your sleep schedule just to acknowledge that he was a year older. 

Yet he always sounded pleased despite it. 

And now, a year has passed without a single word from you or about you reaching him. Or perhaps there was, and you were just unaware. Gen and Taiju would’ve most likely informed him even if he didn’t ask.

Was it cruel of you to suddenly disappear after forcing yourself to be a constant in the equation of his life?

That seemed to have done it as your hand abruptly reached for your phone before a second thought could form. You opened your messages and scrolled till you reached his contact. 

Your throat felt dry as you hesitantly unlocked him, your last message mocking you silently.

Senku, where are you? 

Can we talk?

Your fingers trembled against your keyboard. Maybe it was selfish, selfish to suddenly appear after disappearing for so long. Maybe it was cruel to reopen wounds that barely healed at all. 

Then, more thoughts formed, far more cruel than the previous ones. What if he doesn’t reply? What if he does, yet he replies coldly? What if—

You quickly typed out “Happy birthday, Senku.” And clicked send before another thought could form. Then, you tossed your phone across the other side of your bed and buried your face flat against your pillow. 

Your pulse rose violently. You felt stupid, yet relieved and everything in between.

⋆⭒˚.⋆

Senku was halfway through Ryusui’s strongest bottle, now fully aware he was starting to feel tipsy. He wasn’t the type to drink often, yet he had been exposed to numerous chemicals already that his body had slowly grown immune to them. Or perhaps he just had a high alcohol tolerance.

He usually tested his tolerance with Ryusui, who wanted to test out every available alcohol out of greed. That same Ryusui was currently refilling everyone’s glass as François appeared with a new tray of food. This time, it was sushi. 

Senku was about to swallow the sushi in his mouth when he heard a specific notification that nearly made him choke as everything around him seemed to halt, the chopsticks falling out of his hold. 

Taiju, who was next to him, heard it. “What was that, Senku? Are you choking?!” 

Ukyo didn’t need to be next to him to hear and recognize that specific sound, after all, it was he who pointed out before that Senku set a custom notification sound for your messages. The genius reasoned that it was efficient.

“Is that…?” Ukyo asked with wide eyes. 

Senku, however, didn’t answer as he swallowed the sushi in his mouth, hand already reaching out for his phone so quickly he nearly knocked over his drink. 

And there it was, a greeting from you. 

Funny how that was all he needed to sober up, or at least he thought he did. And before anyone else could say something, he was already standing and rushing out of the room.

Gen visibly perked up, everyone did. “Senku-chan—?” 

Senku was already out of the private lounge. 

His heart was beating loudly, drowning the worried calls of his companions. Yet for a moment, that didn’t matter as his thumb hovered over your message.

He blinked once, then twice as if he was waiting for the message to disappear. Though to his surprise, it didn’t. It was still there, waiting for a reply. 

Unfortunately, or fortunately—he couldn’t quite tell anymore—the alcohol made him reckless. Or maybe just honest. 

Because before any logic could catch up, he pressed call out of desperation. 

The phone rang more than once. And somewhere else in Tokyo, your stomach dropped painfully at the sound. 

You immediately sat up, hands reaching for your phone that rang violently. You stared in horror once you saw who was calling you. It was him. 

Your breathing became uneven, hands shook as they held the device with the little strength you had left. He wasn’t supposed to call. 

Your mind fell into a dilemma. Were you going to answer him or not? What were you even going to say to him? That you’ve been spiraling over greeting him the whole day? About reaching out?

And before you could come to a decision, the call ended. Then, a message appeared. 

Answer me.

Please.

Another call rang out a second after you read the messages from him. Once, twice, then you finally clicked the green button before you could rethink your decision. Perhaps it was out of instinct—the instinct to answer whenever he called. 

You were met with the muffled sound of music from somewhere far. Then it was heavy and uneven breathing mixed with disbelief. Like he had run somewhere despite his mind still processing. 

And finally, you heard his voice. “...You actually picked up.”

You felt your chest tighten physically, which made you lean against your headboard, eyes staring straight at the ceiling as if it could instruct you on what to say this time. 

His voice sounded lower and rougher than usual. And if you weren't hearing things, it sounded slightly slurred. 

You shut your eyes briefly, hand tightening around your phone. “You rarely say please…Are you drunk?” 

A faint snicker from him reached your ears, weak yet filled with amusement. “Hah, that's the first thing you chose to say to me after a year?” 

“You sound terrible. I'm assuming that's Ryusui's doing.” You remarked, already thinking of what to tell Ryusui for letting him drink that much. 

“Tch. Compared to earlier, I'm basically sober right now.” 

This time, your stomach twisted painfully. “Just how much did you drink?” 

You heard soft movements from the other side of the line, enough to make a guess that he was leaning against a wall. 

With a casual voice, he said, “Dunno, Ryusui kept bringing new bottles…The refilling part was on me.”

You felt your stomach drop as you frowned. Despite everything, you were still concerned about him. “Didn’t you just return from space and you're already trying to destroy your liver?” 

And you hated that you still are. Hated how naturally concern came to you when it was about him. Hated how even after everything, it was still your instinct to question if he was taking care of himself, if he was overworking himself again. 

He snickered. “Must’ve left 90% of my logic in outer space. The remaining 10% evaporated when you texted me.”

You sighed, hand running through your hair. “I shouldn't have messaged you—” 

“No,” He interrupted softly, voice suddenly sounding desperate. “Don't say that.”

Silence eloped the two of you as you didn't know how to reply to that. Your knees curled closer towards your chest as your mind fought to think of what to say. 

And before you could say anything, he beat you to it. Voice suddenly sounded low again. “...I was waiting for you.”

Your vision blurred right away at his words. Was it because he sounded so genuine? Was it because this was your first conversation in a year? Or was it because he said he was waiting for you when your relationship used to revolve around you waiting for him?

A soft chuckle escaped from his lips, stripped off from his usual confidence. “I kept checking my phone like an idiot all night. Gen and Ryusui noticed first and kept bothering me about it. Then Ukyo appeared, followed by Taiju and Chrome.” 

You felt a tear slip, hand instinctively rushing to cover your mouth before a sob came out. Gosh, must he tell you that?  

“...You shouldn't have waited for me.” 

“I know.” He murmured. “But you used to greet me constantly at midnight for over a decade. Couldn't help it.” 

You inhaled sharply through your nose. “That was before, Senku…Things changed.”

“I know,” he repeated quietly. “But I happened to be selfish tonight.” 

Now you were really wishing that you hadn’t called, because his response was telling you that he was thinking of you. How were you supposed to move on quietly after that? 

The noise from the bar began to fade further away, as if he was walking farther from everything else. 

“I screwed up.” 

Your eyes burned with tears as you clutched your phone tighter than before after it threatened to slip out of your hold after hearing his words. 

A sharp exhale from him followed after. “I really thought I had more time.” 

“After the next launch, research, experiment, conference, project— I assumed I'd have more time.” He continued, voice filled with the regret that had been piling up for a year. 

You laughed weakly despite the tears silently falling. “I never doubted your love for me, Sen.” 

“I knew you loved me; everyone knew you did, even if you were the most affectionately constipated person in the group.” You added before he could respond. 

You aggressively wiped away your tears with the back of your hand, a sniffle escaping through your defenses. “I saw that you loved differently. I saw it whenever you patiently taught me topics I found confusing, when you built things for my convenience, or when you fixed things without me having to ask.” 

Your voice and defenses had failed you completely halfway. Your sobs broke through your words, and that broke something in him as he had to listen to you cry because of him again.

“But eventually,” you sniffled again. “I stopped needing your inventions or scientific solutions.” 

A painful silence settled briefly. “...I just needed you, Sen.” 

The line grew terrifyingly quiet afterward that for a second, you considered the call had disconnected. 

Then finally, a shaky exhale came from the other side of the line. “...I know.” 

And the way he said it nearly destroyed you. There was no defensiveness behind it, no excuses or attempts to justify himself. It was just the raw truth of realization and understanding. 

“And that's what's been screwing me up for the past year,” he let out a weak laugh. “Building rockets was easier than when I kept thinking of that.” 

Your lips parted slightly, though nothing came out because of how stunned you were. How could you not be? What were you supposed to even answer to that? The Senku Ishigami sounded lost for the first time, as if he had run out of scientific solutions to use, defeated over love. 

“I kept thinking if I worked hard enough,” he admitted quietly as regret laced his voice. “Then eventually I could give you everything that you wanted.” 

“The house, your ridiculously hard-to-maintain garden, your two-story library— the future you wanted.” 

At Senku’s side, he stared beyond the city lights behind the window in the hallway of the building he was in. And for a moment, he could see the future that failed to occur: your laughter filling the silent hallways, the warmth that radiated from your smile making the house feel like home.

And now that he could finally start the future you asked for, you had already left his side.

His grip tightened as his gaze lowered. “Failed to realize you needed something way simpler that time.” 

The call went silent again right after he said that. You were nearly speechless, your tears halted. The heel of your palm pressed against your forehead as you managed to let out a weak laugh. 

“Senku,” you called out, voice weak with a painful amusement and disbelief. 

“I was willing to attend a hundred funerals of every version you would grow up to be if it meant I could stay by your side forever—” your breathing shook unevenly. “The high school student who launched a homemade rocket to space, the university student who tried to survive on instant ramen, the doctoral student pursuing a doctorate at MIT,” 

You continued on listing every version you saw of him, built on the ambition that made you fall for him, yet was the very same ambition that made loving him hurt. 

“...The scientist worldwide agencies and governments wanted, the astronaut in training. Somehow, between the listings, your tears found you again as you tried to choke back a sob. “But I didn't realize those versions of you would kill me too.” 

Another heavy silence settled, and it was suffocating. Afterward, he said the most unexpected thing you could hear from him. 

“... I'm sorry.” 

You blinked painfully, “Senku—” 

“No, I mean it.” He cut you off softly. 

His voice sounded rougher than before. “I'm sorry I kept making you wait.” 

“Stop.” You pleaded, the heel of your palm pressed harder on your forehead than before. 

“I'm sorry I made you feel alone—” 

You interrupted this time. “Senku, stop. You're making this harder for the both of us.” 

“That wasn't my intention,” his response was immediate and firm. “You spent years trying to understand me, least I could do is acknowledge how badly I screwed up.”

You paused, unaware of what to do now. If anything, how this conversation was leading felt like tearing open wounds that never truly healed in the first place. 

Because hearing him like that, apologizing with dangerous self-awareness, made a part of you want to stay. To try again. 

And that terrified you. The thought of how things ended, the thought of losing yourself while trying to love him, scared you. 

You tried to push every ounce of hesitation back down before speaking. “I think this should be our last conversation.”

You tried to say it properly, you really did. Yet your voice still decided to crack halfway through. 

The response came instantly after a sharp inhale from him, barely any hesitation in his voice, unlike yours. “No.” 

You inhaled sharply through your nose, eyes shutting once again. The situation was hard enough, and he was making it far harder. “Senku—” 

“You're saying that as if it's strategically the best outcome for the two of us.” 

His tone shifted into something quieter right after. “...Is that what you really want?”

You were speechless again. You could hear it, the dismay in his voice. 

“Will your life be better if I remain out of it?” He asked quietly. 

No. You thought immediately. It wouldn't. You weren't even sure if time could heal the wounds left by over a decade of loving him. 

You fought back a sob, yet your voice cracked again anyway. “Yes.”

Senku went physically still at your response, and you had to muster any remaining strength in your body. “I think our relationship fell the moment I started missing you even when you were right in front of me.”

“You would still be working even when you were home.” You added painfully. “At first, I was okay with it. But then the distance started to feel as if you were still thousands of miles away.” 

You pressed your lips into a thin line, fighting back a sob. “Loving you didn't feel as easy as breathing anymore…It felt like I was losing myself instead, while you were constantly going.” 

With a shaky breath, you concluded. “...And I don't think I can go through that again without completely losing myself.” 

A long silence followed your words, the longest one yet since he called. And you knew that he was calculating every possible variable that could somehow change your mind and the outcome you gave him. Yet he couldn't. 

“...I see.” He said quietly. You heard a faint sound of shifting, not out of agitation, but out of resignation. “Can't really argue about that, can't I?” 

That was the part that made him feel ill to his stomach. Because he knew that the old version of himself would've, he would've calculated something, debated against it. 

But the present Senku couldn't. Not when he heard you admit about losing yourself again, because of him, out of all people. 

You shook your head as if he could magically see it. “No, you can't.” 

Your hand clutched the soft fabric of your bedsheets, and the painful realization that this was really the end settled through. “Take care of yourself, Senku.” 

He gave you a chuckle as an attempt to hide his dismay. “I should be the one telling you that.” 

You smiled bitterly, a tear escaping silently. “Hah? I wasn't the one living on instant ramen throughout my undergraduate degree.” 

He snickered. “As if your eating habits were any better.” 

You laughed, genuinely this time. Afterward, you called out for him using the nickname you developed after establishing your relationship with him. 

“Sen,” 

He hummed, already knowing where it was leading to. 

You hesitated, suddenly feeling weak again. This was it, there will be nothing else left except grieving the future you could've had again.

“...Happy birthday, please don't call me again.”

Senku's eyes shut right after. He saw it coming, so why did it still hurt him so much? Far worse than the impact of a moving train with its highest velocity. 

“I really loved you, y’know?” You sniffled. “I really admired you, too. You were always so amazing in my eyes, and I knew you could achieve anything with that never-ending dedication of yours.” 

“...I hope space felt like everything you ever wanted.”

And with that, you ended the call with trembling hands. Your body completely shook right after, as you hugged your knees tighter again out of desperation, your phone slipping out of your hand. 

The tears fell continuously, and each sob was louder than the previous one. At first, it was a strangled sound, then you were fully sobbing before you knew it. 

You fell sideways on your bed, body curling instinctively as you wrapped your arms around yourself as if you could keep yourself together, but you couldn't. Everything came crashing down, and nothing stayed in place anymore. Not your breathing, not your thoughts, not your tears.

Your hand reached for your phone again, part of you hoping that Senku would magically take back his words and go against your decision; however, you knew how his mind and logic worked. You still hoped anyway.

Yet no new call appeared, and silence still remained. And perhaps that was the cruelest proof that he truly loved you.

The act of choosing to let you go, even when he desperately didn’t want to, simply because losing you hurt less than ruining you further. 

January 4th had come to an end, making way for January 5th. His birthday ended, and somewhere between midnight and the last call, the two of you did too. 

Bonus:

The call ended at exactly 12:15 AM. And if anything, Senku thought the universe was mocking him.

For a long while, he just stayed where he was. Eyes glued to the floor after a tear had escaped without his permission. His jaw was clenched, and so was his fist. 

His mind replayed the conversation, especially the last thing you told him before ending the call. 

“...I hope space felt like everything you ever wanted.”

He wanted to respond and tell you that it didn't, it didn't feel like everything he ever wanted. Not when the only constant variable in the equation of his life had completely disappeared in the process of achieving it. 

The conversation hollowed him completely. The alcohol he had consumed earlier no longer aided him. 

Then, he heard the familiar heavy footsteps of Ryusui come closer.

“There you are!” Ryusui announced loudly as he walked towards him. “We thought the alcohol had finally caught up, and you passed out somewhere.” 

Senku clicked his tongue automatically. “Tch, as if.” 

Ryusui noticed how it was all bark and no bite. Yet he didn't ask, as Senku just followed him back to the private lounge where everyone else was waiting. 

When they entered, Taiju was the first to ask. “Senku! How was—?!” 

Taiju wasn't even cut off by Senku vocally, no. He was interrupted by his astonishment as Senku strided into the room, hand reached out for the bottle of Ryusui's strongest whiskey as well as his glass, already downing a glass full before anyone could say anything else. 

Everyone stared in shock at what had just unfolded. 

Ukyo frowned immediately. “Senku, you've had enough.” 

He didn't answer. He simply ignored the warning as his body slid back to his initial place before the call, the hand that didn't hold the glass folded to cover his eyes. 

Then, he chuckled bitterly, with every ounce of regret and dismay. “I screwed up badly.” 

Across from him, Gen's expression shifted. “That bad, huh.” 

Senku laughed again, but it was humorless before he took another gulp. “Hah, she told me to never call her again.”

The table fell silent. There was nothing to argue about, just the acceptance of the two people who loved each other deeply, yet still failed to see each other till the end.

After a moment, Ukyo gently leaned to take the bottle away from Senku, and unlike earlier, he didn’t fight back. But that was mostly because something in his pocket felt unbearably heavy. 

That was when Chrome noticed something from the pocket of Senku’s pants, how come he had yet to notice it after hours of being in the same room?

“Senku, what’s that—” he halted, eyes went wide as his voice left him out of shock. 

That caught everyone’s attention as they shifted closer to have a look. Taiju was the first to see what it was since he was sitting next to him. 

“Is that?!” 

Senku snickered next to him, head falling back against the couch as if he was admitting defeat. “...Yeah, a ring box.”

The entire table froze, except for Ryusui, who looked at Senku with empathy, not bewilderment.

Chrome nearly choked, his hand flung up in the air. “The hell?!”

Everything suddenly made sense in a horrifying way. Why Senku was always overworking himself, the obsession over stability, projects, and the insane amount of pressure he placed on himself.

Ryusui sighed and finally decided to say something. “I told you waiting was a terrible strategy, Senku.”

Gen’s head whipped towards him instantly. “You knew?!” 

“Of course,” Ryusui’s eyes shifted from the shocked faces staring at him before they landed on Senku again. “Who do you think he dragged across three continents to look for the best lab that makes diamonds?”

Senku laughed in defeat, eyes meeting Ryusui’s. “Yeah, yeah, my calculations failed me on that one.”

Gen’s head returned back to him. “How long have you had the ring— and when were you planning to propose?!”

Senku sighed lazily, eyes drifting towards the ceiling. “Six months before she wanted to end things. I was planning to after my first trip to space, y’know, the sappy ‘I love you to the moon and back’ that she likes.”

Then he chuckled miserably. “Kept it with me ever since that night…It even made it to space.”

Senku's project advisor closed the door as he exited the meeting room. The leek-haired man's phone vibrates, reminding him he was on a call.

"Taiju? Oh, sorry about that." Senku presses his phone to his ear, talking to the man on the other side. "Don't worry about it! And that's amazing, Senku! Congrats!" Taiju's boisterous voice rang loud, making Senku put some distance between his phone and his ear.

He let out a laugh, trying not to feel too smug about it. "Yeah, well, it's no big deal. It was almost to be expected with the amount of work I contributed into the project."

He smirks, leaning on a wall while the conversation continues. "That's true... then I assume that they're okay with it?" He hears Taiju ask and raises a brow.

"Them?..." He licks his lips in thought, "What do you mean?" Taiju's line goes quiet for a moment before Senku hears his voice again, he mentions your name and continues. "Do they not know? Oh, well, I just mean... don't you ask your partner first before agreeing to those kinds of things?"

Taiju pauses before continuing, "Since its a big deal and you had agreed so quickly, I assumed you already talked about it with them."

Senku's reply is only him humming in thought. "Though if I was in that situation, Yuzuriha probably won't be mad anyways so I can't imagine them being any different... oh well!" He couldn't believe that Taiju, that oaf, of all people was giving him something vaguely like relationship advice.

It was true that Senku had agreed rather fast when the project advisor had approached him, he was on the phone with Taiju when it happened so it was only natural that his friend had overheard everything. Senku was offered a seat in the latest mission, a project he'd also contributed a lot towards. For him, it was a no-brainer to accept, it was a great opportunity after all. It's not like it'd be his first time flying off to space either, so... was it really necessary to bring it up to you first? The thought hadn't crossed his mind. Though now that Taiju had pointed it out, it left him conflicted.

Senku was almost completely lost in thought when he heard Taiju speak again, "Oh, Senku! Yuzuriha's calling me down for dinner so I gotta go. It was nice catching up!"

Senku's eyes found the clock hanging on the wall opposite to him, realizing Taiju was right, he hasn't even noticed. "Yeah man, have a good one." The call ended.

Senku brought the phone down from his ear and stared at his lockscreen. The clock on his phone had also read 7:22 PM. His eyes drifted to his wallpaper, looking at the photo he had set as his wallpaper. It was a photo of you and him wearing your highschool graduation robes, taken after the ceremony.

He sighs, Taiju's words was bothering him more than it should. Why was it gnawing at him? He turns off his phone and rubs his temple, the bright lights were starting to get to him too. Perhaps it'd do him some good to come home early, and have that chat with you too while he's at it.

...

The apartment was quiet when Senku entered, but not silent. He could hear you were home, if the mood lighting turned on was not enough evidence of your presence.

"I'm home..." Senku announced, closing the door behind him as he loosened his tie. Upon entering the living room, he immediately spotted you by the couch. The warm glow of the floor lamp was the only thing illuminating the room, but it was enough for Senku to see the scattered mess across the coffee table.

You, who were sorting through folders, looked over your shoulder with shock to see him. "Senku! You're home early?" Not waiting for a reply, you immediately picked up some documents laying on the couch, adding it to the pile on the coffee table instead. Tucking them away to make space for him to sit.

Senku was about to argue. One, that it wasn't an early time to be home and two, that you didn't need to bother. But he shut his mouth instead, sitting next to you, and compared to the time he'd usually go home- it was early.

"If I'd known, I would've cooked us dinner." You smile, discarding the folder to focus on him instead. "Oh! have you actually eaten dinner yet? If not, I can-"

He sighs, cutting you off. "I ate at the office, it's fine."

He leans into the couch, relaxing. You copy him, "Alright, that's good..." You let out a satisfied hum.

What once would've warmed his heart with appreciation for your understanding nature, now tugs his heartstrings.

It slips into his mind again, he'd forgotten about it briefly on the commute home. But it's here again. There was this doubt that it shouldn't be like this. Then again though, it's not like it was actually something to complain about. Other people would probably die to have a partner that wouldn't complain even if they always get home from work late, even if they always missed dinner, or go on work trips without asking for permission first.

He sighed and ran his hand through his scalp. Of course, it doesn't escape you.

"Was work extra tough today?" He turns to look at you, only to find the gentlest eyes paired with the warmest of smiles. The look of love he's ever so familiar with, you never looked at him with anything else but love in your eyes, and it made his chest feel tight.

You didn't push him for an answer, recognizing the look of distraction on him. His mind was always running. "I'll get us something to drink." You stand up, heading to their kitchen. And Senku was left with his thoughts. Again.

Well, he came home with a concept of a plan. Talk to you about what he was feeling. Because he had never struggled to voice out what he felt, ever.

Lies, of course. For someone who is always telling other people to just verbalize what's on their mind, Senku certainly struggles when it was his turn. It was inefficient, and the heavy feeling on his tongue was mocking him.

It reminded him why it took years to even admit he had romantic feelings for you. He can hear your soft humming coming from the kitchen and it reminds him of how long you've actually been together. From quietly working together in the school's science club, to staying up during the late nights to finish college assignment and now living under the same roof.

Your relationship with Senku was never rocky, steady, in fact. You've always been together, always the other's constant and Senku had grown comfortable with that. But now there was this lingering thought that won't leave him.

He might've continued spiraling but the feeling of cold glass pressing on his cheek brought him out it, "Huh?"

"Something's on your mind, isn't it?" You ask him, handing him the glass of water while you sipped your own.

Senku puts off answering the question by drinking his own, but decides to speak up in the end. "...I got invited to join the mission."

You hum, "The one you were working on? Mhm, that sounds great."

Right, see? What Taiju said, it was unfairly making his stomach sick. Got him thinking about "normals," something he hadn't done since he was in middle school and wondering if there was something wrong with him when he struggled to feel romantic attraction towards other people. Something that seemed to come so naturally towards his peers.

But, he thought for sure things were surely different now. Senku got comfortable with that. How can he not? It came so easy with you.

You had accepted his entirety without struggle, and with welcoming arms instead. When Senku had first mentioned to you about his struggle with intimacy, you didn't even have a hint of surprise on your face.

Throughout your relationship with him, you never asked for more than what he gave. But what has he given you? The guilty feeling that he’s been lacking is what weighs him down, Taiju only made him remember it was there.

Senku eyes you sitting next to him, rubbing your eyes as you look over some documents. So normal couples even bother asking to go away on business trips? Well, a space mission isn’t a typical business trip but… semantics.

If Senku had missed the note on that, what else had he missed out on that the average conventional couple did?

“Are you…” Senku starts, licking his lips. “Are you okay with that?” His hands wetter from sweat than the condensation from the glass of water.

You look at him weirdly, “What.” You chuckled. “Well, yes..? Why wouldn't I be?”

He wasn’t nervous about the possibility of you not being okay with it, in fact he doubted it was even a possibility at all– and you had just confirmed that.

“You never usually ask anyways?”

Senku placed the cup on an empty spot on the table. “I hear it’s what other people do.” He spoke, slower, words feeling a little heavier than they usually do. “…ask for their partner’s opinion.” He clarifies.

You hum absentmindedly, “Doesn't mean we have to, it’s fine. Why would I ever want to hold you back from what you enjoy?”

Those comforting words send Senku spiraling once more, why did you immediately go to assure him? It felt wrong to him. He wasn’t the one who needed it, he should be the one comforting you instead. Tell you that it was okay to hold him back, to selfishly ask for his company instead of going some place else. Instead, he was being comforted for his own shortcoming.

“No…” He stands up and sighs. “You don’t hold me back.” He affirms. “If anything, don’t you think I'm the one who holds you back?”

In a softer voice, “Senku…” You called. “Where is this coming from?”

Senku runs a hand through his hair. “You can ask me to stay with you.”

“I don’t understand…” You shake your head, “Do you not want to go?”

He wasn’t stupid, he knew there was probably a better way to get what he meant across but right now… the words hung heavy and Senku couldn’t find strength to reach them.

“No, I- I do…” he stammers out. “I'm just asking what you- you…” he pauses, trying to catch his breath. “You're just okay with this?”

You stand, brows furrowed and concern plastered on your face. “Yes?” You let out a sigh. “C’mon Sen, what is it really?”

Senku wills himself to calm down, the beating of his heart slowing down. “Taiju… that oaf, mentioned something about talking to your partners and it- it just got me thinking about you.”

Have I not before? He thought. Why was this the first time I had thought to ask first?

His eyes drift down, no longer looking at who was standing in front of him… in shame? Embarrassment?

“Asking your partner before agreeing to business trips?? I didn't even know about that. What else do I not know?”

His voice, now full of frustration, was getting louder. “Just how much have I actually been holding you back? Dates, romantic evenings, affection… don't you want it? Why don't you ask me for it?”

For a second, You don’t say anything. His outburst probably caught you off guard. “I… because…” You start.

He doesn't see it but, You were looking at him so tenderly. “I never minded it. I mean, asking for those kinds of stuff, they would just get in the way right? And… science has always been your priority, something I never really wanted to get in between of.”

Get in the way? No…

Despite having a drink of water not long ago, his throat felt strangely dry. “No, that’s… you can tell me. I wouldn’t choose science over y-“

“You don’t have to say stuff like that.” You take a step forward towards him, entering his field of vision once more. “I'm more than happy just being with you.”

Senku shakes his head in disagreement, placing his hands on your shoulder. “No, let me… hold me accountable if I’m not enough.” Desperation was obvious in his voice as it trembled, why was this harder than rebuilding humanity from scratch?

He opened his mouth to speak but you had beaten him to it. “Sen, I have always loved you for who you are. I never needed you to change.”

“It's always been fine if I came second, or if there were things I couldn't have. As long as it meant I could stay by your side.”

Senku’s hands, that found their place on your shoulders, fell to his side. He pulled away, took a step back and averted his gaze. He felt like he was about to collapse any second now. “You're wrong…” He whispered, finding his own voice too weak. “I can-“

…

He couldn't even find the words. How could he convince you when he couldn't even convince himself? Maybe you were right. Maybe it was foolish to even think otherwise, maybe it would’ve been better to just brush it off and think nothing of it, to just keep going with the way things were.

“Sen, I love you. Its okay, really, don't need anything else.”

But as Senku’s eyes find the ever gentle smile on your face, he just couldn't give up, couldn't just let it end there, and he’d have to be maimed before he would even consider backing down.

It was late into the night now. A couple of hours had passed since the… argument? Disagreement? Could it even be called that? Regardless, Senku’s mind was a little clearer now. That isn't to say his frustrations had disappeared though, no, if anything it was stronger now. If Senku had to describe it, it would be like the frustration that came with trying to solve an equation when all the principles weren’t given, leaving him to find it on his own.

He was leaning on the kitchen counter, pondering by himself with only the warm kitchen lights to accompany him. You had already gone to bed, no doubt that the unexpected outburst he threw at you had worn you out. Ironic, as it was the same thing that was currently keeping him wide awake now.

The more he thought about it, the more he couldn't accept it. Though he also knew that denying the facts is just being stubborn. It was true that science has always been what he put, it was true that no matter how much time would pass, Senku would probably always struggle with feelings and affection. But what wasn't true was that there was nothing he could do about it.

It was on Senku’s third attempt that he managed to launch a rocket beyond the earth’s atmosphere, each one taking a grueling amount of patience, research and care. He was going to be damned if he was going to be defeated by his inexperience with romance. It was time to do things his way, because he’d rather fail in his attempts for hundreds of times than potentially lose something good, the one thing that kept him anchored.

With a fire in Senku’s eyes, one that usually only showed when he got his hands on a new discovery, he would look at you soon enough, brand his usual cocky smirk that tells you he knows something you don't and show you just how much he can achieve for you. He clenched his fists, he was going to prove he deserved to let you stay.

...

The office has been busy with preparations. Senku was supposed to be focused on running simulations for the launch to happen with zero casualty, but really, he was running simulations in his head for something else. He was no stranger to having to go through plenty of trial and error when doing something for the first time, and now he was stumped with having to figure out how to romance his own partner.

If he had it his way, he would’ve just tried anything and everything, it was the fastest way to get accurate information on what works and what doesn’t. It’s a little shameful that he doesn’t even know, actually.

He truly felt like he had gone back in time to when he was still a fumbling highschooler trying to figure out how to woo the person he was admiring. Though, arguably, he was still fumbling and trying to figure out to woo you- it’s just that, now he was older. Wiser? that’s debatable. He has plenty of experience under his sleeve with rocket launching and outer space research now but probably still in the same place he’s always been when it comes to love.

Even now, that word still rolls off his tongue in a weird, unnatural way. Love.

What did love mean? What did it mean to love? Senku feels slightly silly thinking about it, such questions felt like they would really only come from a pubescent girl trying to sound deep. Still, you made it look simple. When he tries to recall all the things you had done to show him love, he would fill up a notebook trying to list it all down.

Acts of love he so graciously repays by coming home late and droughts of affection.

Senku sighs, feeling dejected by his own neglect. He runs a hand through his hair, unintentionally glaring at the screen in front of him. He had gotten barely any work done and he hadn’t even gotten far on the other heavy topic that was weighing him down. Perhaps it was time to take a break.

The scientist moves to stand, finding his way to the nearest vending machine. It was lunch time now anyways, even if he was usually known for prioritizing work above all else, it wasn’t going to be unusual to step away.

Actually, would you have eaten lunch by now too? He thinks as he pushes the button for a can of cold coffee and inserting the exact number of coins for it. It drops and he picks it up, though he doesn’t open it just yet. Instead, he takes out his phone from his pocket and pulls up your contact.

His thumb hovers over the call button for a second before ultimately pressing it. Senku hoped you weren’t busy. His phone vibrates in his hand, the call ringing. While he waited, he opened the canned coffee and leaned over a nearby wall- just in time for you to finally pick up.

“Senku?” You answered, dragging out the last syllable of his name. You sounded cheery. Though, it’s not like the you were ever upset for long periods of time when it came to him, even if you had gotten into what you’d essentially call a disagreement just a few nights ago.

Senku grunted out a reply, “Hey.” Clearing his throat before taking a sip of his coffee.

“What’s up? Did you need something?”

“Did you eat lunch yet?” He answers the question with another question.

“Ah? Mhm, not too long ago …why?”

“I’m just asking.” He mumbles, throwing away the empty can of coffee in a nearby trashcan.

You giggle, “What? Is something up? Have you finally inhaled too much fumes?” You teased.

He smiles to that. “So, I can’t just ask you that? Whatever happened to making small talk?” Senku swears he almost choked on air while trying to form a coherent sentence. Since when did a casual back and forth make his palms sweat?

“What.” Senku can hear your laughter through the phone. “You’re being so weird, when have you ever made small talk? If you need something- “

Maybe it was the taunt, but now Senku had felt like he had to bite back to that. Why can’t he just do it for the sake of it? He ought to prove he can do such things soon.

He licked his lips, “Yeah, maybe I needed some of your attention?” His voice cracked at the end, and Senku couldn’t be more thankful it was only a voice call. He so badly wanted to bury himself for that fumble of a line delivery.

However, he was then snapped out of his self-deprecation when he hears you yelp.

“WHAT.” Senku presses the phone closer to his ear to hear muffled coughing from the line but quickly has to pull it away again when you start rambling at louder volume. “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. ARE YOU SICK…”

“S-seriously! You can’t just say stuff like that, what is wrong with you- you should get checked out, I think the fumes have actually entered your brain-“ You don’t stop, spouting at an incredible speed, no doubt flustered as well.

He smiles at the thought. Well, he might’ve not given the best line delivery but it seemed to at least worked out anyways.

“I gotta go.” Senku cuts you off. He didn’t actually have to go but it was time to retreat for now.

“H-huh? Oh okay…” You stutter out, still taken aback.

“Seriously… what the heck.” He hears you whisper before ending the call.

A win is a win. Senku thought, huffing out a laugh. That little unplanned, stunt he pulled had gained him some confidence. If earlier he was feeling stuck on how he should go about his whole plan about romanticizing his own long-term relationship, then now he feels a little more certain.

Perhaps it was going to be good, perhaps it was even going to be fun.

And if anyone saw Senku walking back to the office with an evil smirk and a dangerous glint in his eyes? No, they didn’t.

...

Unfortunately, breaking habits never come easy.

In Senku’s defense, the workplace was getting busier. With the launch date coming closer and closer, the need to double check and eliminate any potential of something going wrong. The tiniest wirings needed to be inspected over and over again, hundreds of simulations that needed to be ran through and in case something does go wrong- safety measures that needed to be taken.

And thus, Senku came home late once again. To no one’s surprise, really.

He felt specially exhausted as well too, something he usually wouldn’t think much of as he’d normally be coming home feeling quite content. The blanket of exhaustion would be his proof of a well spent day at the lab. But today, he’d wanted to go home early for the sake of spending time with you and it’s been ruined.

The unmoving traffic was not helping either. He sighed, glancing at his phone to check the time again as if it’ll make it a difference. A chuckle coming from the man beside him had caught his attention, however. “In a rush to get home, Senku?”

Xeno, who had offered him a ride when the older one noticed they were leaving at the same time, looked at him with curiosity. “You’re usually the last one to leave. How unexpected to see you rushing to get home for once.”

Senku hid his impatience with a smile. “Heh. You’ve been watching me that closely, Dr. Xeno?”

“Hmph, it was merely an observation.” The older one retorts. “Perhaps, there’s a special occasion today?”

He looks away, leaning against the window instead. “Nah… nothing like that.”

The traffic finally moves and the car reaches a more familiar area. It’s completely dark out now, all the buildings in the area had turned on their lights and the streets was far less busy now compared to how it would be during an earlier time. Everyone seemed to be on their way home now.

“We’ll be nearing your block soon.” Stanley, whom had been driving for them, assured as the car came to a stop again- the last red light in the way of Senku reaching home.

He gripped his phone, debating if he should just go for it as he eyes the screen of the traffic signal counting down 120 seconds. “Actually, I’ll just get off here.”

“Are you sure?” The man beside him asked.

He hurriedly made sure he got all his belongings before replying, “Yeah, this way you won’t have to take an extra turn either.” He put his hand on the handle, ready to exit. “Thanks for the ride.”

“Well, get home safe.” He hears Xeno say as he closes the car door.

Senku didn’t know why he was rushing home. Why had every minute mattered now when it didn’t before? Well actually, he did know why. It was just hard to admit. It was a mix of reasons, between wanting to competitively prove something and genuinely wanting to show that he can love something else that wasn’t work- that no, he wasn’t just a man drowning himself in chemical compounds and scientific equations, he too can do something in the name of love.

Which was quite hard to prove now that he can’t even manage to come home early.

Ever the man with no stamina, he’s already breathless from speedwalking and climbing a couple flights of stairs. He opens the door to the apartment and is greeted with the absence of light. Had you already gone to bed? He shuffles around and tries to feel around the walls where he remembered the light switch was. After awkwardly palming the wall, he eventually manages to smack the switch on.

Senku hears a scream and flinches. His eyes hadn’t even adjusted to the sudden bright light yet but is already trying to look for you, worried you somehow managed to get hurt.

“Ugh… Senku? Is that you? I just got flashbanged…” His eyes eventually land on the clumsy you who was laying on the balcony floor for some reason.

He frowns, wondering what it was that you were up to. It was worrisome, why were you laying on the balcony floor with no lights on? It was a small balcony, just big enough for a couple of chairs so someone could hang out there in case they needed some fresh air, and on the occasion- where they hanged laundry to dry.

“What are you doing? Freak.” Senku questions, squatting down near you.

You tilt your head to look up at him, with a big goofy grin. “I’m trying to let my eyes adjust! It’s common practice to let your eyes to get used in the dark for at least 30 minutes first before doing any stargazing.”

“Although… now I’ve been flashbanged, thanks to you! I think I’ll have to restart.” You pout.

Senku sighs, standing up. “And laying on the floor also helps with that?” He pulls one of the chairs closer to them and signals for you to stand up and sit on the chair instead. “Sit on a chair like a normal person. Isn’t the floor cold? If you get sick, I’m not taking care of you.”

He hears you groan before moving, “Research says that floor time is great, actually.” Your voice slightly fades as Senku walks away, turning off the light switch from the hall.

Research? He lets out a dry laugh. “Uh huh, I’d love to read that study.”

The scientist can barely hear you mumbling out some complaints when he enters the shared bedroom. Senku puts down his stuff on the floor somewhere, careful to avoid knocking down a random furniture from how dark it was. He squints his eyes, trying to find a blanket. When he spots one, he snatches it and walks back to the balcony.

The balcony lets in a bit of light at least. The moon illuminating your figure. He slows down, quieting his footsteps as if he was trying not to scare a small animal. Perhaps he was scared that if he made a noise, he’d somehow scare you away into disappearing- away from him. He frowns.

Senku drops the blanket on you inelegantly before taking a seat on of the chairs as well. “Ah! That scared me…” Judging from your laughter, it didn’t actually. You wrap the blanket around you better than Senku did, a smile on your face.

“Andromeda is supposed to be visible to the naked eye tonight, it’s great!” You exclaim.

Senku looks away from the night sky, staring at you instead. “You know we have a telescope, right?” He says as a matter-of-fact, raising a brow.

“Yeah, but this is still different! There’s just something about actually spotting it with your own eye, you know?” You insist, looking up with a sparkle in your eyes.

“Not really, I mean I see these galaxies on like a regular basis from our telescopes. It’s almost a chore now.” He states dryly, leaning back.

You pout, “Boo.” You stick out your tongue as taunt. “Okay, we get it, Mr. Astronomer Scientist!”

“You’re looking at one of humanity’s potential doom. Unlike other galaxies, Andromeda moves towards us. If the sun doesn’t explode first, then we’ll be wiped out when the Milky way and Andromeda inevitably collide.” Senku smirks, explaining dryly as if he wasn’t talking about the wipeout of humanity.

“Well, that’s for the future. For now, it’s just beautiful to look at.” You shrug, used to the somewhat deprecating comments he would make.

And Senku looks at you. Really looks at you.

He can admit that Andromeda looked beautiful up closely. Well, closer than from Earth’s surface anyways. On land, Andromeda looked like just an average star. Maybe slightly bigger and fuzzier- almost blurry. But that was about it, he didn’t think it was anything to celebrate about.

“Oh! I think my eyes are adjusting… I can see a lot more stars now.” You chirped. “And soon, Andromeda!”

Right now, it wasn’t any star or galaxy that held Senku’s gaze. It was you. Senku chalked it to fatigue, too tired to lift his head and look at the stars, so instead he admires the person next to him. Whether anyone would buy that excuse doesn’t concern him. It was just easier than admitting to the whole universe that he found you beautiful, so he tucks it inside his chest with a poor disguise.

Senku can’t actually recall the last time he had properly looked at you like this, too busy looking at microscopes most days.

Time has passed; the two of you, together, for a long time now. You’ve both grown out of your baby faces, developed a few wrinkles and deepened smile lines. Both having respectively gone far in your careers, and have entered a stable spot in your lives long enough for you to say that it has become mundane.

Mundane…

Perhaps that’s why Senku got complacent in the relationship. It was just something he put at the back of his mind, repeating that he’ll get to it later yet making no plans to actually go through with.

He frowns and glances away, finally choosing to look up instead. His eyes immediately spotted the distant galaxy, Andromeda. It was terribly small from this distance.

“Can you see it yet?” The scientist asks only to find you scrunching your face in an effort to squint harder.

You grumble. “No, am I blind?”

He can only snicker, “Idiot, you’re looking at the completely wrong direction.”

You let out a drawn out, “Huuuh?” Senku stands up and moves behind you. He wraps an arm around the back of your shoulder as he crouches near your level and points.

“Focus your eyes on that area.” He instructs. “See that fuzzy thing that kinda resembles a star?”

You let out a small gasp after realizing, “Woah. That’s it?” You question. “It looks so… normal. That’s a whole galaxy? It just looks like a slightly stretched out star.”

Senku smirks, “Why do you think it took so long for the existence of other galaxies to be accepted? It’s only been a hundred years that people started comprehending that the Milky Way was only one of the thousands of galaxies out there.”

“And that’s gonna crash into us one day.” You giggle. “How unthreatening.”

“Uh huh. Let me know if you still think that way when you see it up close.” He quipped.

You hum in thought, “I don’t know… We’ll be old and wrinkly by the time it comes for us.”

“I’ll be surprised if that’s all we’ll be, decomposed is more like it.”

A comfortable silence blankets over them, quietly admiring the cosmos in peace. We’ll be old and wrinkly, huh? Senku found he didn’t hate the thought.

...

“Senkuuu…” You whine. “Wake! Up!”

The man groans in protest. “Ugh.” He lifts up his head and rubs his eyes in frustration. “What.” Senku deadpans. He looks over to you, still clad in your pajamas and obviously looking like you’ve also just woken up.

“Why are you still here? Aren’t you supposed to be at work by now?” You hurriedly question. “It’s already 7’o’clock!”

Senku groans again and falls back to the bed, slightly grumpy from having been woken up. “I don’t have to go in early today, they’re preparing a few training stuff for the people who’s gonna get on board.”

“Oh.”

You scratch your head sheepishly. “Sorry… you usually leave so early, I kinda panicked. And plus! You didn’t say anything about it.”

Too sleepy for a coherent conversation, Senku just babbles a response, already closing his eyes again. “Alright, well, just go back to sleep then.” You say as you move to leave the bed.

Before you can, Senku throws an arm around you. Not totally keeping you in place, Senku’s stick arms being too small for that. “Huh? Why?”

“Silly, I have work.” You blink, confused as to how he forgot.

Defeated, Senku lets out a third groan. It was super rare for the both of you to wake up at the same time. Usually, the scientist had to wake up much earlier in order to immediately get back to work. But now, all he wanted was a lazy morning and you were threatening to leave. It was cruel.

“No one’s gonna die if you’re five minutes late.” He complains.

You laugh, mocking his distress. “Wow. I never thought I’d ever see the great Ishigami asking for morning cuddles.”

Still, the whining seemed to have worked as you slide back under the blanket with him. A win is a win. Senku cheered in his head.

You laid together quietly, warm and cozy. And he was so close to slipping back to dream land when he felt you shift again. “Okay but like, I really do have to get ready now.” You whisper. As much as Senku wanted to protest more, he let you out of his grip now.

He hears the bathroom door open when you enter it and decides to also get up now. Granted, he could’ve kept sleeping. He wasn’t needed at work anytime soon, lest he volunteers himself for physical labor. Still, he drags himself to the kitchen.

Routinely, he made himself his usual pot of coffee and your preferred hot drink. He settles your cup at the dining table while he sat and sipped his drink. He can hear the water from the bathroom has stopped now. You were most likely going to come out of the room soon after getting dressed.

After thinking through some simulations in his head, you come out and walk towards him. He hands you the cup of milk. “Careful, it’s hot.” He warns, knowing you’ll still probably burn your tongue anyways.

And you did, “Ah. Oops.” You stick your tongue out as if that’ll make it feel better.

Senku can only huff in disbelief, “Idiot.”

He watches as you blow air into the hot drink, cooling it down, when an idea presents itself to him. It immediately paints an evil grin on his face. He doesn’t usually do it, but the opportunity is just far too tempting, far too amusing.

You eye him weirdly as he lets out a stream of evil, low chuckles. Senku pays you no mind. “Shouldn’t you get going soon? You were so worried about being late earlier.”

“Huh? Oh, right.” You test the temperature of the drink and after confirming it was at a much tolerable level, quickly gulp it down. “Thanks!”

You move quickly, grabbing the last of your things before heading towards the door. Senku, who was in no rush, places both of your empty cups by the sink. “Are you leaving now?” He calls out.

“Hm? Yeah!” You answered, putting on an extra outer layer of clothes by the door.

Senku walks over, putting his plan into motion. He leans on the wall and crosses his arm, failing to hide his smirk as he was preparing to drop a bomb.

“No goodbye kiss?”

It was amazing to watch you completely freeze in motion, face morphed into horror and warm. “E-excuse me?” You choke out.

Senku holds back his laughter, keeping up the act of composure. “Hm… Just gonna leave me to take care of the house all day for nothing in return?” He teased.

“O-okay? First of all, I sincerely doubt you’re going to do anything productive before leaving for work too. Second! Yeah, you’re not going to be here all day. So, I don’t know what you want, good sir.” You ramble, blurting out words faster than you can think in an attempt to conceal how flustered you were.

And this time, Senku couldn’t contain his laugh. He steps forward, going closer to you. “A goodbye kiss would be nice.”

He thinks that, if you were a volcano- you would’ve definitely erupted from embarrassment by now. “Since when! You’re acting crazy-“

“Since now.” He cuts you off.

You squawk in disbelief. “I swear- they actually did something to you in that lab. A failed experiment or something, and now you’re all weird and crazy.”

He shakes his head. “You can just say no. Why do I have to be dragged into a conspiracy theory?”

He smirks in triumph, knowing he’s won when you couldn’t find any other rebuttal to make. Just quiet, debating whether or not you should take the bait. “I swear, I’ll be the one who turns crazy with how you’re acting crazy lately.” You huff.

You take a step towards him, closing a bit more distance. If Senku’s heart wasn’t beating so loudly in his ears, he might’ve just heard the curses you were spewing under your breath before finally kissing him on the cheek.

“There. Happy?”

Not quite. Senku cups your cheeks before you could move away and presses his lips with yours. He hears your little squeal as he deepens the kiss, and it makes Senku’s heart do a little backflip and a twirl as a landing pose.

When they part, your eyes were so dilated it would’ve been concerning under any other circumstance. Though, Senku doesn’t say anything about it, he was sure he probably looked the same.

They quickly take a step back from each other. Senku letting out a little cough and you were suddenly much interested on what was on the ceiling. “Well, uh… you should go.” He broke the silence first.

“Yeah, I- yup! I’m gonna go…”

You both awkwardly shuffle for a few seconds, Senku moving out of the way to let you out. “I uh… I’ll see you later then.” You croak out, turning to leave.

The door closes and Senku almost keels over right there and then. WHAT WAS THAT!

A kiss was just a kiss, lips on lips. It held no purpose, not even in recreation. The only reason it holds any significance was because humans decided it had one and oh god- Senku was spiraling. In an attempt to calm himself he was now rationalizing what a kiss was. Senku doesn’t know how other people manage to kiss in a relatively casual manner without going on the verge of a heart attack.

But in terms of a trial, it certainly didn’t end as an error. Although he realizes, maybe he should’ve thought about it more before going through with it. After all, when was the last time you’ve had a proper kiss like that?

Senku lets out a sigh as he crashes on the couch, feeling slightly weak in the knees. He can still recall how hard his heart was beating, and was still in fact trying to calm down.

He definitely wasn’t the biggest guy on physical touch as a love language. Physical intimacy wasn’t necessarily scary, no- he didn’t fear it. More like, it made him squeamish? To him, it just came so unnaturally. Hence, never getting any proper “practice” for it and hence, never getting properly used to the act. It was just another pointless endeavor the alloromantic did for the sake of it.

You were the only partner he’s ever had. Every first time he had was with you, and it was something. Which might sound bad to anybody else but, for him- it was just hard to consider special. Still though, what made this “goodbye kiss” so different from all the other times to the point he felt like he was going to burst like a supernova?

When he recalls all the other kisses he’s shared with you, they never really felt like that. Small, quick pecks at the lips that really felt more like formality. Though, he guesses it wasn’t always like that. The closest thing he could compare it to was the feeling of anticipation and uncertainty he felt during the early days of your relationship.

When the two of you were still experimenting and approached love with a curious hunger. So, was it the eagerness to comprehend that made this recent one so explosive? The need to prove something with scientific evidence? Senku admits he initially thought of the plan as just another part of finally being a little more conventional with your relationship with him but…

It’d gone so well it would be a shame to boil it down to just that. But why?

Senku closes his eyes. What was it that makes a kiss so tender and explosive that couples did it so regularly despite not having any real purpose? And what had he been doing wrong before that it became something so mundane to the point it was something he avoided?

When did it become something he just disregarded? And how can he ensure that never happened again?

He was going to need another cup of coffee. Thank god he had a few hours to kill.

...

A few weeks have passed and the launch date was getting closer and closer. So close in fact, that it was going to be the day after tomorrow. And for the first time, Senku was dreading it. He did not want to leave.

He was just starting to really enjoy spending more and more of his time with you. Senku wonders when the distance between the two of you actually grew, memories of being peas in a pod during highschool flooding him. Was it when you both entered college and had gone into different majors? Or was it when either one started getting flooded with work- drowning and sinking deeper into more work that was covered up with the excuse of pursuing passion? Or maybe, it was only ever Senku whom had assumed there was even a distance to begin with.

Because now, as he looks at you and your smile, he can’t find any semblance of a distance. He feels closer to you than he had ever before, and greed whispers to him that he wants to be even closer.

In a last-ditch effort to spend his remaining time with you, he had made reservations for the two of you at this fancy place that had recently opened. You had both dressed up for the occasion, ditching the usual comfy clothing for something slightly uncomfortable in exchange for looking better.

And looking better indeed was his partner standing beside him as they waited for their names to be called. Huh, names… The hostess was going to call out a reservation for his last name and yours once there was a table ready.

Senku snaps out of his thoughts when you tap him on the shoulder. “Are you really sure it was okay to not attend the celebration?” You ask.

The celebration for the launch, it was also being held tonight in order to congratulate those who had worked hard on the project. It would be crowded, with journalists and plenty of flashing lights from photographers trying to get the latest gossip.

“I told you already, no one’s even gonna notice I didn’t attend.” Senku assures, his pinky locating his ear out of habit. “It’s just a bad excuse to sip wine and act snotty.”

You purse your lips, “Well, alright.”

A beat passes. “You’re much better company anyways.” He says, refusing to look at you. His cheeks had a light dusting of pink on them.

“And… you look amazing.”

The compliment slips out of Senku before he even realizes it.

You, who was standing beside him, can only laugh. He pouts, he gives a heartfelt compliment and this is what he gets? “Not even a thank you? Just going to laugh at me instead?”

You snort, “It just feels weird hearing you say it.” You laugh lightheartedly, “I guess, I’m just not used to hearing you say stuff like that.”

And Senku leaves it at that but his thoughts don’t. Why was it weird? Why couldn’t it just be the most natural thing in the world?

Senku can admit though, it did feel weird to do all these things. But it wasn’t bad… Yes, it was still unnatural and foreign to him, but at the same time, it felt like something he wanted to continue. Like a new discovery he wanted to keep studying. It felt overwhelming at times, and he found himself wanting to pause time for a few seconds every now and then just so he could recollect himself. Still, he didn’t wish to leave. He wanted to stay, soak in the moment and replay your laughter just to enjoy it, even at the cost of his dignity.

He'd sincerely wished he’d done this sooner and more often. He’ll be sure to make up for lost time.

Eventually, the two of you are seated and handed a menu. It was certainly a nice place. Despite having the capabilities to seat more customers, the restaurant chooses to give plenty of space between tables instead- making it scarce and each party having their privacy.

You were seated just across the table from Senku, the candle at the table illuminating your features. He watches you skim through the menu, as you purse your lips while trying to decide on an entrée. You look up to catch his gaze and smiles, “Sen? Have you already decided what you’re getting?”

The two of you converse easy, helping each other decide what looked good or not. You flag down the server and state what the two of you were having. The server gives the both of you a pleasant smile and claims they’ll be back with your food before finally leaving the two of you alone again.

You catch Senku’s attention, “Psst, Sen.” You smile when his attention lands on you. “Do you think the food will actually be good?”

He raises an amused brow, “Are you having doubts?”

“I mean…” You drag out the last syllable in ponder. “Isn’t it usually a gamble when it comes to a place like this? It’s either the food doesn’t actually taste good or the portion size is abysmal for its price.”

Senku snickers. “If you wanted to go to a greasy fast food place instead, you could’ve just said so. No need to disguise your picky eater trait by placing the blame somewhere else.”

“I am not!” You pout. “If it does end up good then you’ll never hear me complain again. But if it’s bad, then I’ll have told you so.” You stuck up your nose.

“Besides, it’s your money wasted anyways.” You grin.

Senku crosses his arms at the comment. It was true of course, but what fun would there be if he just let it go? “Oho, why do you even have a job then? If you’re just going to be a freeloader.”

You quip, “For fun! What else?”

The two of you continue to banter, not even noticing the time that was passing as it was quickly filled with smiles and laughter. Still, the food had finally arrived.

The entrée wasn’t bad… not bad enough to stop eating. It was the main course that had the two of you in a laughing fit, covering your mouths in an attempt to not disturb the other guests from their behavior. It wasn’t bad, nor was it good.

The food had been terribly mediocre.

They weren’t even quite sure what they were looking at when it was first served to them. How could food look cooked and raw at the same? The food was obviously cooked but from the lack of anything, it had managed to look raw.

You were holding your stomach from the laughter. “I can’t… I just- WHAT is this…” You poke at the food in emphasis. “It looks like they just boiled everything and called it a day! Not a SPECK of seasoning is on it…”

Senku couldn’t even manage a response, too busy trying not to die from laughter. “Senku! Are you even listening… Pft- I mean, just look at it!”

When he does look at it, he ends up letting out a howl of laughter. “O-okay, stop… stop talking…” He wheezed. “I can’t breathe-“

He wipes off some sweat from his forehead in an attempt to calm down. Trying to help, You pass him a glass of water, which he gladly took and downed.

“I wonder if the water was boiled too-“

And that was it. Senku Ishigami had died from laughter.

The server assigned to your table had eventually noticed the commotion and had come over to ask if anything was unsatisfactory. You, not having the heart to be honest just kept quiet as best as you could, placing a hand over your mouth and hoping the shaking of your shoulders didn’t make it obvious you were one push away from bursting out laughing. On the other hand, Senku whom had been tired out from nearly dying of laughter just waved the server away.

Confused but unwilling to ask any more questions, the server leaves them be.

“What do you say we just leave?” Senku suggests, resting his chin on a propped up hand.

“Awe, but what about dessert?” You pout, feigning disappointment.

He flashes you a smile, taking out his wallet and stack of cash that more than covers the cost of the bill and tip. “We can get something from the convenience store on the way home.”

You giggle in satisfaction. “Sounds like a plan.”

Senku stands, extending a hand for you to take. “Now, come. Let’s go before someone notices.”

Senku was pretty disappointed that their dinner hadn’t gone exactly as he planned. Next time, he’ll be sure to read a couple of reviews before settling on a decision.

...

The two of you were at home by now, still clad in fancy attire, sitting at the couch as you both wind down. You were leaning on Senku’s shoulder, humming a soft tune while scrolling through your phone.

He clears his throat, catching your attention. “Listen, sorry it didn’t work out tonight…” He frowns, voice getting quieter at the end. Scratch that, he wasn’t just pretty disappointed, he was massively disappointed. He had hoped that things would end well tonight as it was essentially their last before Senku had to leave. A disappointing, heavy error that weighed his heart down.

You break away, sitting up straight. “No… it wasn’t even your fault.” You chuckle as a brief memory of what happened flashes in your mind.

You falter for a second before continuing. “Actually, I should be the one to apologize.”

Senku eyes you, confused. “Remember when you had brought it up? About how I shouldn’t have accepted being second on your list?” He winces for a second at the reminder but lets you continue anyways. “Well…”

“Yeah.” You smile gently, looking at him in the eyes. “I’m sorry, Sen.”

“I was just… I always want to be your biggest supporter, and if it turned out that I was ever getting in between you and your passion- it would’ve broken my heart. I want you to reach all the dreams you have, so I let myself come second, I insisted. That’s why when you came to me, suddenly proposing the idea of prioritizing me… I got scared. What if I caused you to slow down?”

Senku mutters your name, brows furrowed. You shake your head, and it makes his heart ache. “And, I always knew that conventional romance wasn’t your thing. That was another thing I would never want to pressure you into. But I guess I was so tunnel visioned on that I ended up brushing it off when you wanted things to change.”

You press your forehead to Senku’s, “And look at you. You’ve proven me so wrong. You’ve treated me so well these last few weeks…”

“It’s been barely anything…” He whispers, emotions welling up at his throat.

You pull away, looking at him. “You should give yourself more credit, Dr. Ishigami.”

Senku’s hand twitches, the urge to cup your cheeks and kiss you silly was strong. But his stomach had other plans, growling from neglect. “Pft-“

“Tsk, seriously?” He deadpans, scratching his neck in disbelief.

You calm yourself down from giggling, “To be fair… I’m also hungry. We barely touched our food earlier.” You stand up, heading for the kitchen. “No worries, I’ll whip us up something deserving of 3 michelin stars!”

He sighs, leaning back to the couch in defeat. “If it has salt- I’m sure it’ll already be ten billion percent better than what we had earlier.”

He almost dozed off while waiting for whatever his partner was preparing in the kitchen, but the moment the aroma hit his nose, he was completely awake. He stands and makes his way to where you were only to find you stirring in the seasoning pack to two cups of instant ramen- ah, a delicacy indeed.

“Wow. Well that definitely has sodium in it.” He remarks dryly.

His partner chuckles, “Oh I’m about to undo all the training they had you do with some bad, bad diet.” You pass him his cup, still steaming, alongside a pair of chopsticks.

He smiles; heart filled with warmth. All those trials and specially tonight’s error had been well worth it. There was no greater reward than slurping instant ramen in the kitchen while dressed in a well-tailored suit with his partner.

It just made the fact that he had to leave all the more bitter. Ironic, considering a few weeks ago he hadn’t given staying at home an inkling of thought.

No, a few weeks ago, all Senku saw was intricate, delicate wirings and calculations of numbers that exceeded him more than he’d like to admit. Now, he bathed in the warm kitchen light, heated from the inside by comfort food and sharing laughter with the person who’s been with him through it all- the same person he now has to separate from.

Yes, it was his decision. One that Senku was allowed to regret but also wouldn’t take back. He looks at you, seeing the same person he would share unhealthy instant ramen back when you were suffering through long nights in your respective majors. You who wanted nothing more but to support him.

It tore him apart. Because now, he just wanted to slow down for once and walk by her side instead of leaving for a vast, empty space. Sure, there were sights out there that no human has ever even seen yet but where was he going to find your bright smile and red cheeks in the endless stars if not right here at home, beside him?

Maybe that was the importance of asking your partner first.

...

Senku left early the next morning. He hadn’t woken you up when he did. He felt bad, you had both stayed up relatively late last night and he had to leave after only a few hours of sleep already. So, he let you rest instead.

The launch wasn’t until tomorrow’s dawn, but everyone involved had to be at the site for all the preparations and precautions that needed to be taken. It wasn’t Senku’s first rodeo. He had already managed to be a part of multiple projects like this one in the past, with his impressive genius of course.

Despite the rest of the city still in slumber, there were already plenty of people at the site running around with work to do. At least, that’s what Senku would assume. Considering there was a party thrown last night, it was also highly possible that a good majority of the team was still recovering from hangover.

See, Senku had made a detour. He figured; it wasn’t like the site was going to go up in flames if he was an hour late and, in his defense, it’s not like he did it on purpose. Not totally anyways. But this antique store had caught his eye on the way, it was the only thing that was open and had its lights on in the desolate streets. And like moth to a flame, Senku had stopped his commute to take a look.

The warm lights that the store used was perfectly highlighting the stock they kept, painting each item in a golden hue. It carried a scent that was comforting and nostalgic, of old books with a hint of dust. Soft music played from, what Senku would guess, a jukebox. It didn’t sound familiar, something that probably would never play in radios nowadays, but not a popular classic either that anyone would’ve known- it was most likely just an obscure song that the owner loved during their youth.

He really should just leave now. There wasn’t really anything here that was worth getting an earful for. Still, his feet remained planted for just a second longer, admiring all kinds of trinkets that the store carried.

It wasn’t until he was about to leave that something had caught his eye. Just a few steps away from the door, there was a shelf he had missed when he first entered. It was relatively empty compared to the rest of the shelves, housing only a few items. One of which was a jewelry box.

The box itself was rather big, holding all kinds of accessories. Though it was an antique store, the other items were well maintained, except for this one. Senku guesses it had been there for a long time now, untouched, the untrained eye probably dismissing it. And he couldn’t blame them, from the first look, most of the jewelry was rusted or in bad condition. Unless people were specifically looking for worn out jewelry or hoping to repurpose the metal, there really weren’t going to be any customer buying anything from it.

Senku exited the antique store, fidgeting with something as small as a coin in his hand. He tried to pay for it at first, but when he brought it to the counter, the old man tending to it just waved him off. It was most likely because the item had been too small or dirty, perhaps feeling a little too bad to charge anything for it.

Senku doesn’t dwell too much on it, just playing with the item as he continued on his way.

...

One would probably think that it gets busy when you’re outside of the Earth’s atmosphere, and it does, but not enough to occupy all the hours. Once the routine of monitoring, maintaining and reporting was done, Senku had just enough time on his hands to wallow in his thoughts.

Senku had spent a good portion of his life looking at the moon, wondering what mysteries it held and the vastness of space beyond it. But now, he finds that he’s always looking back at Earth, relishing its familiarity instead of the unknown that the rest of the universe around him held.

Science had advanced far enough that communication between those in Earth and those outside of it was no longer impossible, but it was still kept limited for various of reasons. Resource management, the occasional delay, risks of interferences and such held him back from talking to you like he would if he was just a few miles away from you.

So instead of risking the chances of getting a scolding for wasting resource and causing delays, he spends his time fidgeting with his new antique when the urge to mindlessly talk with you sprouts. It had a considerable amount of tarnish and built-up dirt that covered its true color.

The spacecraft thankfully had stuff he could use to return it to its full glory. A simple salt bath in aluminum foil had already done wonders for the tarnish, and a bit of elbow grease to get rid of the stubborn dirt stuck in the nook and cranny had it sparkling in what he assumes had been years.

Senku wonders whose hand it had belonged to before him. Perhaps the old man that was attending the antique store he got it from? Or perhaps someone had surrendered it there a long time ago. Did it always belong in that jewelry box or was it just eventually placed there when there was no space anywhere else?

Well, no matter, it was his to give now.

...

The rest of the month that was spent in that spacecraft was unworthy to Senku. After all, the revelations that would come after was what they were going for anyways. Him and the rest of the crew were only there so that once the spacecraft would be fine on its own, everything would go well.

So once word got to them that they were being prepared for return had reached Senku’s ears, he was basically buzzing with anticipation. It was time to go home.

The camera flashes that were getting in between him and getting home was thoroughly irking him, still he tried to not show it too much, good media meant more budget after all. But the exhaustion of landing back on Earth was really weighing him down, figuratively and literally. Gravity felt heavy.

It was important they received an immediate check-up after landing, so while Senku wanted to just insist he was fine so that he can go lay down at home, he gritted his teeth and let the medical team do their work.

Thankfully, someone had finally come to escort them out of the scene, ushering the media away so a path could form. Him and the crew were then brought to a more secluded area, seated in wheelchairs to avoid any accidents in case a disorientation spell was to happen.

Senku just quietly let everything happen, just hoping all of it would go faster. He spots Xeno and other familiar faces monitoring and helping the process go smoothly. Obediently answering all the questions the stationed doctors were asking him while they helped him out of the heavy spacesuit, careful not to shock the body.

Eventually, he’s assisted to a private room where they helped him lay down on a bed. After a more intensive interview about his state, they finally leave him be.

He lets himself close his eyes for a second.

The peace however, does not last long as it’s interrupted by a series of knocks. The door opens and he tilts his head to see who it was.

There you were, carrying a bouquet of flowers in your arm. “Hey, Sen.” You called, softly. “You’re back.”

His eyes widen, certainly not expecting the sudden appearance. He doesn’t let it show for long though, a curious expression quickly replacing it. “And who let you in here?” He snickered.

“I’ll have you know it was Dr. Xeno who invited me here.” You quip, laying the flowers at the bedside table. “What? Not happy to see me?”

The opposite. Senku had such a big smile painted on his face, the expression was one he couldn’t suppress. “I was just about to get some shut eye, you know? Way to ruin my beauty sleep.” But he tries and hide it anyways, relying on his sarcasm as his usual line of defense.

A line of defense that easily crumbles as you flash a smile of your own. “Yeah, well, I think you’re plenty beautiful even with dark circles.”

“Though, the jet lag must be insane. From all the way outside of Earth’s atmosphere to here.” You jest.

Senku lets out an amused chuckle. “Not quite, not like there’s any day or night out there anyways.” He lets out a groan, sitting up.

“Oh… Are you really sure you should be sitting like that?” You worriedly ask.

“You act as if it’s my first time.” He smirks, smugness evident on his face.

You can’t help but laugh in amusement. “Ok genius, we get it.”

Senku was glad that the medical team hadn’t bothered to link him up to a heart monitor, because good god his heart was beating fast now. The weight in his pocket was reminding him of the existence of a certain object. All of a sudden, he felt sick and on the verge of hurling. If it does happen, at least he had the excuse of blaming gravity. It doesn’t slip by your keen eyes though, try as he might to pretend that he was feeling fine. “Are you sure you’re okay? You look pale.”

The scientist prided himself in being able to plan ahead. It was necessary after all, in his field of work, an error could mean death so it was only natural that there had to be extensive planning throughout the whole thing.

However, he was still human. He had impulses.

During the month he had spent floating in space, Senku had plenty of time planning out scenarios on how he would ask the question. Each with its own elaborate details and scripted lines. But now, desperation was clawing at him, specifically his pocket, screaming at him to just man up and do it already.

Worried from not receiving an answer, you offer to call someone in. “I’ll go get a doctor, okay?”

Before you can get far, Senku grabs a hold of your wrist, effectively not letting you get far. Because yes, after spending a month away from you with minimum communication- even just leaving the room felt too far from him.

“No, I don’t need a doctor.” He manages to croak out; his throat filled with anxiety.

He knows it’s sudden, after all this was not the plan. Not even close to it. Plans of waiting for a few months, plans to establish a more stable foundation before even entertaining the idea had been all thrown out the window now.

With a weak push, Senku stands up for a second.

“S-sen! I don’t think you should be doing that- sit back down-“ You panic, holding him by his shoulders in case he toppled over.

Kneeling down was even harder but he eventually manages to get down on one knee, taking all of his strength. Though it did get easier to manage once he found his balance. You shakily take your hands off him, stepping one foot back.

“Senku?” You call out, voice audibly shaky.

His heart almost backflips out of his throat when he couldn’t feel the item on his pocket for a second, letting out a sigh of relief when he finally finds it. His hands were not only incredibly sweaty but trembling too.

Senku wishes he could be one of those people who manages to voice out a whole speech, vocalizing their feelings without any difficulty, but he just did not have it in him. “You already know right?” He lets out a weak laugh as if it’ll mask the fear he was feeling.

Before all of this, he couldn’t even ask you what your thoughts was on him leaving and now, he was asking you to stay with him forever.

He wills himself to stop shaking when he holds out the ring. The same ring he had found a day before leaving, the same ring he had painstakingly cleaned and took care of when he should’ve been writing reports.

Senku could see your tears welling up in your bright eyes, he should apologize afterwards for all the heart attacks he’s been causing to you lately. But not until after this latest one.

“I’m sure this is sudden for you but I had plenty of time to think about it, way up there in space.” He smiles. “And it’s not exactly a space rock but…”

“I do hope you’ll say yes.” He calls your name. “Will you marry me?”

You don’t let him entertain the idea that you’ll ever say no, quickly nodding your head. You whisper out a yes through your tears, crouching down at his level to wrap your arms around his neck.

Relief had washed over him, wrapping his own arms around you.

Unfortunately, gravity was still heavier than what he was used to. He quickly lost balance and the both of you end up on the floor. “Ugh, okay. I might actually need a doctor now. I think I hit my head.” He deadpans.

You let out a laugh, smiling through your tears. “I can’t believe you. I’ll get mad if I find out they’ve actually replaced you with a different Senku…”

He can only huff in disbelief. “The ring is not on your finger yet. I could take it all back if I wanted to.”

You shake your head. “No, no. I didn’t say anything.” You quickly take back your comment. “Give me!”

You wave your left hand in front of him, not minding the fact that the two of you were still very much on the floor. Senku can only laugh at you, sliding the ring on your finger anyways and placing a tender kiss on your cheek. “Here, you better not lose it.”

No errors here. It had gone completely successful, and despite all the trouble he had to go through, Senku would’ve done it all the same. No elaborate plan or scheme would’ve beaten the euphoria he was feeling. He’ll gladly endure tomorrow’s back pain for laying on the floor if it meant holding his future spouse for many more years to come.

END.