i saw you in a dream . . .

"uh huh," was all she said for a while. she kind of just let him have his little debate over jumping or not. she figured that was fair enough for all of the years of torture. the least he could do was want to kill himself one time over this. she knew she had thoughts of it herself....enough. all the time. "so you've thought about it but you haven't. gee, what a gentleman." chivalry was dead and whatever this was...was just a fucking mess, really. she should have just told him to jump and let it stay with that. she could have slapped him. but she didn't. just watched him make a fool of himself as she had so many times before.

"shame," she added after a beat. "i would have done it tonight. i mean, this party sucks, life sucks, but that could have been a nice distraction." she knew she didn't look particularly sexy. she didn't dress for a party, she dressed like she was going to be up all night trying to drag her siblings home after they drank too much. "if you jump you'll probably die and break your legs, by the way. but don't worry, you probably won't feel it." she stood up, walked over to the ledge of the roof. "honestly...probably not the worst idea....just letting yourself fall...god knows i've thought about it..."

" right , " was all he said at first , dumbfounded . he didn't love the insinuation that she was so sick of him following her around she'd fuck him to get him to leave him alone , or that he was only useful when he was the only option , or whatever it was that was probably being implied . . . but she'd also said it'd be a nice distraction . he was way too sober to be this confused at the moment . then again , tripp did spend most of his life confused . it was kind of just his brand , at this point .

his eyebrows furrowed even more when she stood up , moving closer to the ledge . " okay , that — that was a joke , hazel , a bad joke . " stepping forward , he reached out to grab her arm . she didn't seem drunk , but he didn't want to take any chances . he would rather her punch him in the stomach than fall off the roof . " let's take a step back , " he suggested , gently tugging her away from the edge and closer to him . " hey , you can tell me to fuck off , i'd get it , but — are you . . . you good ? you . . . okay ? "

he was honestly putting her through emotional gymnastics and she was so turned on that she didn’t care. bea loved him. she loved the teasing as much as she loved when he just took. the only part she didn’t like was when it started to feel like a test. most of the time that was something her own mind had created so that she could convince herself there was a pass or fail reason as to why he ended up leaving her the next time. her mind kept through hoops on fire to blame her for him leaving every single time. maybe if she had pleased him better or reacted better….there was always a reason. even when there just wasn’t.

she hadn’t found the nerve to touch him again yet. her hands were bawling her sheets so hard she was sure she could tear through the fabric if her nails dug in deep enough. her eyes opened right after he had stuck his finger in his mouth and her eyes could have rolled back in her head just from the sight. she was so determined to not give him a reason to want to leave her again. she was overthinking every move she made. it was kind of impressive considering how much she had drank before he showed up.

she was saying to take it as slow as he wanted , that she could wait , she could take it . but it was not a test or a punishment , and it was not about him . as much as remus wanted to touch her , he wanted to do it more for her benefit than his own . as much as he wanted to kiss her and taste her and feel her , he wanted her to let him take care of her . . . since he kept doing such a terrible job of it in every other way . it wouldn't undo the hurt he caused her , and would continue to cause her , but he wanted to make her feel wanted , loved . he wanted to give her everything he could not say in words .

" i would stay awake all night if you wanted me to . " he held her gaze , hoping she believed him , hoping that she knew he meant it . the sight of her wrapping her lips around his finger already had him feeling things in a record amount of time , but he ignored the desire that sent a shiver up his spine , pulling his finger out of her lips slowly so he could move lower on the bed . even when it came to her own pleasure she was thinking about what he wanted , and it felt cruel at this point to make her wait for anything at all unless she asked him to take it slower .

when her brain started to work again her arms wrapped around his shoulders. she held him so tightly to her she was afraid he would disappear and she would wake up from a dream if she let go. she didn't care if someone saw her. she didn't care if she ruined her own life or made her parents upset or lost everything she ever knew. if she could keep holding onto him, it would all be worth it. everything would be worth it. "finn..." she whispered, head buried into his chest. she felt so safe, she felt so content. it felt too real and not real at all.

did he want to fuck her or something? he wouldn't be the first former tormentor to try and do that. guys seemed to love treating her like shit to her face and in public, but begging for her the moment doors were shut. she had long accepted she was not the type of girl to have an actual boyfriend. she was just a fun time, not a long time. sometimes, she wasn't even sure if she was a fun time or a way to pass the time. regardless, if that was tripp's reason to reentering her life, she was just about vulnerable enough to let him.

"did we?" she asked, genuinely curious. maybe he had seen her slip away and was trying to get her alone. maybe he really was trying to get air. she didn't have a clue when it came to this guy. "or was this the plan all along? like, okay let's just get it out in the open. did you come up here because you're trying to tire me out until i sleep with you? like, i can't figure out another reason why you keep running into me. i don't really believe in fate or anything sentimental like that so just be honest....and if that's not it and i'm wrong, i'll take that and move on. it's really not gonna keep me up at night."

but that feeling was quickly replaced with something kin to alarm . his eyebrows shot up when she came right out and asked if he was trying to ' tire her out until she slept with him ' , and he wasn't even sure how to take that . that was certainly not his intention . he'd gave out on the hope of her ever looking at him as anything more than an unfunny loser that was trying way too hard long before they'd parted ways .

" no , of course not . " he said it so fast , tripp caught it , how it could give off the wrong impression , especially with her sitting here insinuating that the only reason anyone would seek her out was to bed her , and suddenly he was stumbling over words trying to fix any chance of it being taken the wrong way . " i mean , not of course not like i wouldn't . i obviously would . i mean , if you wanted to , obviously . it's not like i haven't thought about it before . oh , no . no , i haven't ! fuck , why did i just — fuck . " he didn't fix it . he made it worse . so , so much worse . for a moment he said nothing at all . then he just looked out at the sky . " . . . you think this roof is high enough it'll put me out of my misery if i jump , or just break my legs ? "

sofia felt weird. despite the way the last party she went to went, she still decided it was a good idea to go to another one. a different host so she didn't think much of it. it was in some abandoned house with more rooms than what felt safe. she figured getting under someone new and getting too drunk to remember it was the way to go. her first mistake was setting her drink down. a rookie mistake with a party that was in full swing. she had set her drink down and picked it up just as fast and now...now her head was spinning.

so she found an empty room in the creepy party house. sitting on the edge of the bed she took a deep breath. maybe she needed to head home. call the uber now, pass out at home or something. she was a little disappointed she didn't really get to mingle much but she supposed she would live. before she could get up and figure out her next step a shadowy figure appeared in the doorway. she felt the hairs on her arms stand and suddenly felt twice as alert. she couldn't make out a face at all. just a tall, shadowy figure, and oh...oh no. oh no. "ghost..." she slurred, her hands digging into the bedsheets to steady herself. ".....not you again...."

caden had not gotten bored . . . but he'd gotten busy . unfortunately , he did not have enough time to toy with sofia after their first run in , and their second ( third , technically ) at the coffee shop . he'd had to do some traveling , had to focus too much on work , and it just wasn't feasible to try to squeeze in some quality time with his boo . but , as it turned out , he told himself it was better this way . distance made the heart grow fonder . it would make their reunion more . . . memorable . he'd planned it for weeks now , right down to the nitty , gritty details . nudged his friends to throw a party . made sure word got around . made sure she didn't catch sight of him here . made sure two very important cups got mixed up . and now , here they were .

he'd been right . it had definitely made his feelings stronger . finally he was seeing her face to face again , no screen between the two of them , and he wanted to walk to her more than ever , pierce the blade of his knife directly into her sternum , press the tip into her bottom lip until it bled then kiss them clean while the light faded from her eyes , make her beg and scream and cry — . . . " sofia , " he greeted her , not yet moving from the doorway . she wouldn't be going anywhere . " you haven't forgotten about little old me ? i'm flattered . " he took a single step into the light of the room so she could see the mask that was staring back at her . " parties are such social events . what are you doing up here . . . all . . . alone ? "

her whine was partly an answer itself , and he started to make slow circles , the way she was holding onto him somehow the thing that was sending him into another mental spiral . he had never felt so . . . wanted by anyone . in any way . being here with her like this uprooted every past experience , and it began to heal some part of him that had always been so desperate to just be seen , to just be enough . if he wasn't careful , he could blurt out the l word right then and there , a feeling he'd always been sure of with thorne but was quickly realizing didn't change when it was ivy .

"Don't apologize," she whispered. "I am too." His lips were back on hers, all that needed to be said having been said. They were both nervous; that was natural, and it was okay. It was a shared feeling and experience for both of them. Kissing him made things easier. She didn't have to focus on anything but the feeling of his lips against hers. When he bit her bottom lip and slid a finger inside of her, she gasped. Her body tensed for a moment, but quickly relaxed. Even just a finger had her feeling pleasure.

her lips seemed to leave a trail of electricity against his skin , and he shivered beneath them , each brush of her lips , each stroke of her hand sending bursts of static to his brain . he had never wanted anyone like he wanted her right now . . . except , well , her , when he didn't even have a face to pair with her alias . when her lips found his again , he did not hesitate to kiss her back harder , wanting to prove to her that he didn't think she would break . wanting to prove to her how much he wanted her . it was all he could think about . it was consuming him . his cock twitched in her hand and he gasped softly against her lips , getting lost in the feeling of kissing her , being touched by her .

everything was too loud. the party she was chaperoning yet again at, her life, everything. she just wanted the world to stop for a minute. she would give anything....for life to pause for a minute. so she had started moving without thinking, making it up the stairs and pushing open the door to fresh air and a sky of stars. no one else was up there with her and for a few minutes....it was bliss. up here she wasn't hazel taylor, older sister to many and responsible for everyone. up there she was just hazel....a girl with too much on her plate that was reaching her limit.

she found herself a spot with a view and sat up there, staring at the sky. she didn't know when she started crying. she didn't know when someone joined her exactly. she just knew that right now it felt...amazing to just let it all out. to not worry about judgement or if everyone in her life secretly hated her. she was just....allowed to feel and exist and that was enough for now. wiping her eyes she turned to look at her audience. tripp. of course it was fucking tripp. "wassup?" she sniffled, trying to come off nonchalant. they weren't friends by any means...but they weren't enemies anymore either she guessed. "party dying?"

he wasn't surprised to find someone else out there , the view was much nicer , it was mostly quiet , and the air was less stuffy . but he was surprised that someone was hazel . he didn't even know she was here . he didn't expect to run into her at a party again , he got he vibe last time that it was a one time thing , just to grab her siblings and go . but they seemed to keep bumping into each other everywhere , to the point he was starting to wonder if it was fate itself pushing him towards her . too bad she'd rather faceplant cement than engage in conversation with him .

he'd been thinking about what she said the last time they talked . he'd been thinking about it a lot . tripp had never meant to hurt anyone . the pranks he played , the jokes he made others the butt of , he hadn't realized how cruel they must seem from the other end . he made fun of himself just as much . but it kind of hurt him , too . so why hadn't he considered he wasn't being funny , he wasn't being entertaining , he was just being rude ? why did it take hazel saying that he'd left a shitty mark on people to reflect on what an asshole he'd been ?

he tried not to startle her , freezing in place , lips parting to swear he was not following her . then he realized she was crying . he felt like he should back away , but she would hear him if he moved again , and he would look like a weirdo for not saying something . so he only stood there , debating his options until she turned and looked right at him . " just . . . wasn't feeling it . needed some fresh air . " he would ask if she was okay , but tripp had a feeling hazel wouldn't appreciate him prodding . so he just took a step closer instead , an i - come - in - peace smile on his lips . " looks like we had the same idea . "

Benji was not the best with surprises and secrets. He usually gets way too excited to not spoil them. He'd been trying so hard to keep the ultrasound results of the twins from spilling from his lips and to his wife. He'd also been working so hard on the nursery, making sure there were no hints or clues left behind for her to figure out. After a long day of covering the four walls of the room with fresh paint, he needed to unwind. How could he, though? He was so excited. Expecting Kirby to be back soon, he showered the paint away and put on a set of fresh, unruined clothes. There was another surprise on his mind, not necessarily a secret, but a surprise nonetheless. Suddenly, he felt nervous, pacing the living room back and forth until he heard the lock on the door click. His entire demeanor changed, a smile brightening up his face so much it brought light to his eyes. Benji was at the door just as she opened it, pulling Kirby into his arms and kicking the door shut. "Welcome home, my love." He beamed down at her before planting a sweet kiss on her lips. "I missed you all day...I hope you had a nice time, though." She was on his mind all day. She was every day. Kirby consumed his thoughts, and he wanted nothing more than to hold her and shower her with love. He gently held her against his chest, wondering if she could hear the erratic pounding of his heart against his chest from both the slight anxiousness that was lingering and the excitement of seeing her. "I love you." He pulled back just enough to lean down and kiss her again. "So, so much..." murmured against her lips. And then, after another kiss, "Forever and always."

her best friend was more forgiving than she ever expected , the way benji was . she was surrounded by people she felt she did not deserve , but she was determined to become a person that did . today she'd left him at home to go out for lunch and clothes shopping with her friend , buying dresses that weren't quite so tight around the waist ( and some new lingerie , of course ) and gushing about how unbelievably wonderful things were again . when she got home , she was exhausted and her feet hurt , but she was in a great mood . and an even better one when he was pulling her into his arms before she could even step inside .

she laughed , dropping her shopping bags onto the floor in the process . " i missed you too , " she promised , standing on her toes to leave a peck on his lips . " so much . " she had never stopped loving him , but to be able to do so freely again . . . it meant the world to her . he was the world to her . she would never let herself get so lost that she lost him again . never again . " i love you , " she murmured , her lips brushing his as she spoke , putting barely any distance between the two of them . " i'll show you all of the things i bought later . . . " leaning back to look at him now , she smiled , unable to stop herself when he was holding onto her like this . " i found these adorable plushies for the babies , they're little ducklings . . . some pretty maternity dresses . . . and i found sleepwear i think you may like . " spoken coyly , she batted her eyelashes at him . " how are you , darling ? "

only when she turned the attention to him did he realized he was sitting up , his elbows on his knees , face in his hands as she talked . fully invested . leaning back again , he swiped the half smoked joint in the process . " fuck , my turn , huh ? let's see . " he busied himself with lighting the joint again , taking a deep inhale before tossing the lighter back onto the coffee table , trying to figure out the parts of himself to be upfront about and the ones to remain tucked away . dawson was mostly self aware and a pretty open book — it was just that no one ever asked any real questions . but he also knew daniela wasn't asking out of genuine curiousity . " i'm a sore loser . i'm spontaneous , even when it's not fun . i can be short sighted and self interested , and i never fold my fucking clothes . " he let out a puff of smoke , meeting her eyes again . " and i really like to be liked . to . . . an admittedly unhealthy degree . "