mari

You didn’t mind it, for the most part but in moments like this, where he was caught doing something that you knew that he knew he wasn’t supposed to do that the apartment felt like it would suffocate you. Every small inconvenience coming to the forefront of your mind.

“Dex.” Your fists were clenched at your sides. Your tone meant business—he knew. “You left it out.” Dex stated, never ‘I’m sorry for snooping through your personal belongings’ always ‘it’s your fault for leaving them out.’  When you knew you didn’t leave your sketchbooks out, you never did. 

“We’ve talked about this,” you began, closing the distance and trying to yank the book from his hands, “Get out of my freaking sketchbook.” Dex wasn’t letting go and if you pulled any harder, you would’ve ripped the pages, so you stopped, but kept your grip firm on the book. 

“Let. Go.” 

“You have more drawings of this character than me.” Dex pointed towards the spread in front of you: paint marker, meticulously done, Vigilante. A fictional character that did not exist and contrary to popular belief (Dex’s made up scenarios) only occupied two, three, maybe five pages. 

“That’s because he’s my favorite character.”

“Okay, well. I’m real and Vigilante isn’t.”

“That has nothing to do with this conversation.” Dex huffed, petulant. “You should be drawing me.” You tugged at the sketchbook again.

“Gotcha, just pages and pages of Bullseye. Hows that gonna look to my students?”

“It’ll look right." there wasn't a trace of humor in your expression. Right, that wasn't the word you thought anyone would use. "Also, you have two drawings of him in civilian clothes."

You can recall at least twice that you’ve caught Dex unnecessarily posed perfectly in your line of sight as you drew. Hm.

“I’m not drawing you out of spite for how nosy you are. So stop double-checking.” 

“I’m not nosy. If you don’t want me looking then you shouldn’t leave it out.” You started trying to pry his fingers off the book, “Okay, but I didn’t leave it out. I actually hid it in the fabric under the couch, so I know that you had to get on your hands and knees and then root around underneath—” Dex let go, harshly shoving the sketchbook at you. You immediately set to work on smoothing out the crease in the spread as Dex is crossing his arms, having the audacity to look affronted. 

“I do not root around.”

“…there it is,” he murmurs.

your shyness makes you hesitant to ask for affection, which means dex learns to read you instead. he’ll notice you hovering nearby while pretending to look at something else, the tiny glances you keep stealing at him, the way your fingers fidget with your sleeves. without a word, he’ll open one arm. you shuffle over almost immediately, resting against his side. “…better?” he asks. you nod into his shoulder. “mhm.”

he finds your tendency to hide behind him endearing. crowded streets, loud environments, unfamiliar people - you’ll unconsciously drift until you’re standing just behind his shoulder. after a while, he starts shifting slightly to make room without even thinking about it.

because you’re so reserved, every little sign of affection from you means everything to him. if you reach for his hand first, if you lean your head on his shoulder without being prompted, if you quietly mumble, “I missed you,” when he comes home - it stays with him for days. he doesn’t react in the moment, but later that night he’ll pull you just a little closer while the two of you lie in bed, silently replaying those moments in his mind.

your shyness means you’re constantly apologizing for taking up space. dex hates it. every time you murmur, “sorry,” for something insignificant, he gently interrupts. “don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong.” eventually he starts placing a finger beneath your chin whenever you apologize unnecessarily, making you look at him until you smile instead.

dex has spent most of his life hiding every genuine emotion he has. you wear yours all over your face without realizing it. he knows exactly when you’re excited because your eyes brighten before you even smile. he knows when you’re anxious because you start twisting your rings. he knows when you’re trying not to cry because your lips press together just a little tighter.

“I can hear you thinking.” he says.

“…how do you know?”

“because I know you.”

one of the first things dex notices is that you instinctively make yourself smaller. when a waiter accidentally gets your order wrong, you smile and say it’s fine. when someone interrupts you, you simply stop talking. it bothers him more than he’d ever admit. after watching it happen one too many times, he starts speaking before you can. “she ordered the tea, not coffee.” his voice is calm, almost detached.

you glance up at him, surprised. afterward, you mumble, "dex, you didn’t have to.”

he looks at you for a second. “I wanted to.”

he loves when you hide your face in his chest after he compliments you. at first he thinks you’re embarrassed. then he realizes you’re smiling too much to look at him. from then on, he starts whispering compliments just to feel you curl into him. “you’re beautiful.” you let out the tiniest groan, face disappearing into his jacket. he rests his chin on your head, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

there are times when your quiet nature worries him. after everything he’s experienced, silence can make his thoughts spiral. if you spend too long lost in your own head, he’ll glance over more often than he’d like to admit. “you okay?” he’ll ask. every single time you smile softly and answer, “just thinking.” only then does the tension leave his shoulders.

he never tries to change your personality. if anything, he protects it. he knows the world constantly expects louder, bolder people, but he likes that you’re soft. likes that your words are carefully chosen instead of rushed. likes that your kindness isn’t performative. one night, when you apologize for “being too quiet,” he looks at you for a long moment before gently taking your hand. his fingers intertwine with yours. “it’s one of my favorite things about you.”

you’re soft in every way he isn’t. where his voice is blunt, yours is hesitant. where his gaze is intense, yours is quick to drop. when strangers make eye contact, you smile politely. dex studies them until they look away first. the funny part is that you balance each other perfectly. people approach you because you seem approachable. they leave you alone because they eventually notice who’s standing beside you.

“But I don’t want to get married.” Zuko complained, once again, sitting with you against an old willow you had always hidden under.

“Neither do I. But you’ll probably get more say on the matter than I will, in the end.” You were playing with fire, flickering flames between your fingers as you spoke. Becoming a wife was an obligation you couldn’t escape; that much had become clear.

“Don’t say that. I’m sure you’ll get to choose. I heard our mothers talking a few weeks ago, and they both said they wanted us to have that right, since they didn’t.” The young prince tried to cheer you up.

“If our fathers allow that.” You rolled your eyes. “Besides, what if I never find anyone I want to marry?” The thought had occurred to you before. Most boys annoyed you. They either treated you like some porcelain doll, mocked you, or ignored you. Zuko was the only one who treated you like you were equal, which was one of the many reasons he was your closest friend.

“I might never find anyone I want to marry either. How about we make a deal?” The flames in your hands went out, and you turned to face him; your brow quirked.

“What kind of deal?” You questioned.

“If we never find anyone we want to marry, we’ll just marry each other.” He said it like it was as easy as planning a day trip to the market. You, on the other hand, had your brows now pinched together. “Come on, it would be like an eternal sleepover. Except you wouldn’t have to share a bed with Azula” He laughed. “I don’t find you annoying – most of the time – You don’t find me annoying-“

“Most of the time.” You interrupted with a chuckle. The way he squinted at you as if he were offended wasn’t enough to hide his amused smile.

“Right. So, we could just live our lives however we wanted, and no one would nag us about marriage ever again.”  It was a surprisingly sound plan; one with a promise of freedom. “What do you say? Deal?” He extended his fingertips, making little flickers of fire.

“Deal.” You extended your own hand, and the little flames that shot from your fingertips joined his in a bright dance.

Despite accepting the deal, you never expected it to happen. You had seen the way Zuko looked at Mai, and you hoped he would eventually find happiness with her; just like you hoped it would happen for you someday.

The prince’s banishment was hard on you. It was like a piece of you was missing. Despite getting along with Mai, Ty Lee, and somehow even Azula sometimes, it wasn’t the same. About a year after he was gone, your father died, and the freedom it brought both you and your mother, who was much younger than him, made it hard to not feel somewhat relieved. She allowed you to be trained by the best masters and pursue whatever passions you found - whether they were considered appropriate for a lady or not – and that was your refuge from the loneliness Zuko’s absence had brought.

When the war finally ended, you were over the moon to be reunited with your best friend, and happy to discover he and Mai had finally got together. It was as if he had never left. You learned about the time he had spent in banishment, and met the Avatar and his friends, who were surprised to learn that the Zuko they met was completely different from the one you grew up with. The grief he had gone through was unimaginable, and it wasn’t a surprise that it had hardened him somewhat, though those walls were now crumbling again. Everything seemed perfectly fine. The world was healing, you were free, Zuko was back, and he was the Fire Lord and in love.

Sadly, that didn’t last too long. After finding out Zuko was meeting with his father, Mai broke up with him. You knew Zuko was only doing it because he wanted to find his mother, which he eventually did, and because of the struggles he was having as the new Fire Lord. It wasn’t like he could ask anyone else, and if anything, Ozai could be a guide on what not to do. After trying to talk Mai into understanding his position - the pressure he was under - you finally gave up. Zuko was heartbroken, but he had an entire nation to rule.

As time passed, that pressure to get married that you hadn’t felt since you were young teenagers slowly crept back into your lives. Your mother encouraged you to go out and meet someone, or tried to introduce you to her friends’ sons, all in the hopes you would find someone you liked; but it never worked. As for the Fire Lord, the council asked him about it, gave him lists of potential brides, even tried to organize balls to get him to pick someone, but he simply wouldn’t have it. After a few years, though, they had had enough. The Fire Lord needed a wife, and eventually, an heir. Zuko hated it, but he knew they were right. However, the thought of marrying someone he didn’t know and having to spend his life with her was terrifying.

It was a mild, late spring night. You were complaining about your mother’s horrible attempts at matchmaking, and he was venting to you about the council’s nagging for him to finally pick a bride, when a bright flame lit up within his mind.

“Hey – do you remember our deal?”

“Which one?” Your brow raised.

“The one about our eternal sleepover?” He leaned forward in his seat; eyes fixed on you across the small table. You nearly choked on your sake, and an unfamiliar warmth rose from your chest to your ears.

“Oh – t-that one. Yes. What about it?” Trying to sound casual, you placed your cup on the table.

“Well, the council won’t leave me alone, your mother won’t leave you alone, neither of us has found anyone we like. Why don’t we just – ahem – make good on that deal?” It seemed brilliant when he mentioned it, but as the implications of a marriage became clear in his mind, he felt himself get more and more nervous.

“Zuko, we’re not kids anymore. You know it wouldn’t be just an eternal sleepover. What about-” your voice lowered to a whisper, as if what you were about to say could get you in trouble “kids? Aren’t you supposed to have heirs?”

Zuko’s face was almost the color of his robes. “Uh – I – yes. Well… I only want one. I don’t want any more sibling rivalries over the throne. But-But – I understand what you mean.” He paused for a much-needed breath. “We could just live as friends; we wouldn’t have to worry about it straight away. We could warm up to it – maybe have a few much needed drinks – NOT – not that the thought of doing that with you is bad, it’s just-“ It had been years since you’d seen him act so flustered and awkward, which took the tension from the conversation away, and made you focus on trying not to laugh. “I mean – you know what I mean. We’d have to deal with it eventually, but once it’s done we wouldn’t have to worry about it ever again.” His hands settled onto his thighs, tightened into fists.

“Spirits, when you put it like that… how can a girl resist?” You said it in a silky-smooth voice that was drenched in mockery. It would have been strange for anyone else, but to him it was reassuring; a sign that your friendship was still intact and you wouldn’t up and leave at his suggestion.

“And – since we’re best friends – I think we’d be great parents together.” The Fire Lord nearly choked on his words, but those words replaced your unseriousness with something else; something you didn’t quite understand. “I know we promised, but we were kids. I won’t hold you to it if you don’t want to.” His eyes were fixed on you again, and suddenly, saying no didn’t seem that obvious – or appealing.

There was a long moment of silence as you thought about what this would mean for your life. It seemed unlikely you’d find someone you’d want to marry, and you were used to court life. You had never given children much thought, but the idea of having them with Zuko seemed better than doing it with anyone else. You’d live with your best friend forever, and he would give you all the freedom he could. As Fire Lady, there would be duties, but you would consider it an honor to help your nation correct the mistakes of the past and pave the way for a better future. It was a destiny – the end of your aimless wandering – if you chose it. And the more you thought about it, the clearer it became you wanted nothing more.

“I do.” You said it quietly, as if you were scared he’d change his mind now that you had accepted, but you faced him nonetheless.

“You – you do?” His brows rose in hopeful surprise, and his fists loosened.

“Yeah.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” The response was more confident this time. Zuko almost jumped on top of you, pulling you into a tight hug.

“Thank you. You won’t regret this, I promise. I’ll be the best, most distant husband and closest friend you’ll ever have.”

His expression made you laugh as you hugged him back. “You’re already my closest friend.”

Announcing your engagement caused more uproar and joy in both your home and the palace than you would ever imagine. Your mother was over the moon that you had finally chosen someone, especially someone so close to you whom she already knew. And the fact that he was the Fire Lord only made her more excited. The council was extremely pleased with Zuko’s choice; a firebender from one of the nation’s best families. His mother and uncle were happy too. They knew how close you were, and they knew you would make each other happy. For all the time you had spent together – they said – it was silly that they never thought you would end up marrying. In the months leading up to the wedding, everyone pointed out how clear it was now that you were a perfect match, how obvious it should have been that you would fall in love with each other, and all you and Zuko could to was hold in your laughter until you were by yourselves, so you could cackle together like children who had played a prank on the whole world.

It was like being a kid again. Instead of being nervous, you were excited for your ‘eternal sleepover’ and to keep pranking everyone with your best friend. That caper, however, backfired on your very wedding day, the moment your lips touched Zuko’s, at the end of the ceremony.

As you faced each other in front of the fire sage, you were happy, but felt a little nervous about having to kiss him – for the first time – in front of everyone. His nervousness began before he even thought about the fact he had to kiss you. The moment he saw you, he felt flustered like he never had. You were beautiful, always had been, that was obvious. But it was like he was truly aware of it for the first time. It was as if something had happened, and for the first time in his life he was affected by the way you looked. He knew he was supposed to kiss you, but that wasn’t what made him nervous; it was that he wanted to. Zuko was handsome, and adulthood had made him even more so, but you had never thought much of it either, until that very moment, when the fire sage made you say your vows. You noticed how nervous he was as you were both about to light the candle that symbolized your unity, so you held your hand over his, steadying it, and whispered so only he could hear.

“It’s ok. It’s just me.” It was paradoxical how the sound of your voice in that moment was both the source of his comfort and the thing that made him even more on edge.

After the vows were said, the candle was lit, and your union was blessed by the sage, Zuko’s heart was like that of a hummingbird’s, and yours was pounding like the footsteps of a Komodo rhino. He leaned in slowly, giving you the time to adjust so it didn’t look like you were kissing for the first time, and when his lips touched yours, it felt like lightning was trying to jump out of your body. They were soft and warm, and the ease with which they moved against yours made it feel like you had been doing it for years. One of his hands cradled your cheek, and yours instinctively moved to his jaw. The crowd was cheering, but neither of you could hear it. It was as if the world around you had disappeared. No kiss had ever felt like that before. When his free hand grabbed your waist, and your other settled on his chest, it was like you came back to the physical world, and you both became aware of the crowd and your own movements. He broke the kiss then, but his forehead leaned against yours, which you gladly welcomed. You were in sync, both in thought and action. Could you imagine if you pulled away from each other in shock just after kissing? The gossip would be never ending.

The celebrations went smoothly, consisting mostly of eating, drinking, chatting and dancing. It was a party, and if you and Zuko could do anything together, it was having fun. When the time came to go to your chambers, you were both lightheaded from all the capering, and though the sake had loosened you up, your minds were still clear.

“Damn., and I thought my bed was nice.” You said as you finally let yourself fall into your friend’s – your husband’s – your bed. “I think I can get used to this Fire Lady life.” There was an easy smile on your face as you swiped your hand up and down the silk sheets.

“You’re only saying that because you’ve been standing in those uncomfortable shoes all day.” Zuko smiled back at you, sitting next to you and leaning in to pinch your nose.

“The shoes definitely raise the bed’s comfortability factor.” You conceded with a chuckle. “Ugh, can’t wait to get them off.” Before you could even move, his hand rested on your shin.

“Let me.” He carefully removed your shoes and set them beside the bed. Zuko had always had a sweet side, and he never hid it from you, but this was entirely new. That, or you were hoping it was something else. “I managed to avoid the whole ‘getting ready for the royal bedding’ ritual, but that means we’ll have to put on our sleeping clothes ourselves.”

 “Ugh, so I married the Fire Lord and still have to live another day as a commoner?” You said, rolling your eyes and sitting up.

Zuko chuckled. “You were never a commoner.” He got up and grabbed your hand to help you off the bed. The smirk on your face made the irony in your words obvious. “Come on, Fire Lady, your night clothes are in the bathroom, so you can change in privacy.” You felt heat rush to your cheeks. He had said it playfully, but it was true. You were Fire Lady, his wife, and outside that chamber he would call you that for the rest of your lives.

Since wedding planning was so overwhelming, you delegated some of its tasks to other people. Whoever had chosen the clothes for your wedding night – you didn’t remember – had good taste, and thought you were in for a ride. You had never seen such fine silk. Not as in luxurious, though it certainly was that, but as in thin. The night gown was long, and it tied in the middle, though it didn’t leave much to the imagination. Thankfully, it had a matching robe, made of the same fabric, which provided a marginal amount of extra coverage.

You walked out into the chamber slowly, and Zuko had his back turned to you as he finished tying up his sleeping robe. His long hair was now loose, falling down his back and shoulders like a curtain of darkness. The Fire Lord’s crown was placed on the bedside table. “Uhm – I’m sorry, I – I didn’t choose my clothes for tonight.” The awkwardness in your tone made him turn around, and his eyes widened at the sight of your nightgown and robe. They were sheer, like a veil over your body, making the details of your figure look like a dreamy haze.

“Oh.” His reaction was indecipherable, which wasn’t something that usually happened, at least not to you, and the fact you didn’t know what it meant made your chest tighten just a little. He, on the other hand, was focused on steadying his temperature. If his body got any warmer, he would start steaming. “I’m sorry – I mean –” He slowly closed one of his hands, and the flames in the room’s braziers became lower, creating a soft, ambient light. “Is that better?” What an idiot. You thought of yourself. He probably saw I felt nervous about my clothes and wanted to make sure I’m comfortable.

“Yeah, thanks.” You moved towards the bed and laid back in it, its softness forcing a sigh of relief from your chest. “Spirits, this really is a great bed.” The Fire Lord lay down on his side and turned to you with a smile.

“It’s yours.” He said, propped up on his elbow.

“Isn’t it…ours?” You hesitated to ask. “I thought that’s why you called it an eternal sleepover.”

He tittered. “Yes, technically it is. But if you want, I can sleep in another room after tonight. We’ll only have sleepovers from time to time, to keep up appearances.” Although he was being so gentle and considerate, the way he looked at you seemed like a plea. At least you hoped it was, because you’d be all too happy to oblige.

“I – I don’t mind if you don’t.” There it was again. That same low whisper with which you accepted his proposal. After so many years of knowing you, and that specific night, he knew it wasn’t a concession, but a hesitant step towards the possibility of rejection.

“I don’t mind either.” A sweet smile bloomed on his cheeks. Zuko had never sounded so confident in his life. He wasn’t just sure; he was assuring you.

Your cheeks felt warm. Looking into his soft amber eyes, you felt a sudden urge to kiss him again, like you had at the ceremony, and that urge surprised you, but it also reminded you of something. “Uhm, are we supposed to – uh –” You gulped.

“Yes?” His brows pinched together.

“Do we have to consummate the marriage?” The question brought him to a boiling point, and he choked on the flame that escaped his mouth as he tried to bring down his temperature somehow. You both sat up, and you worriedly patted his back. “Are you ok?”

“Ahg – yeah. Yeah, just wasn’t expecting that question.” He tapped his chest with his fist. This time, you were the confident one.

“You weren’t expecting me to want to know if I had to consummate my marriage to the Fire Lord? The guy everyone wants to make sure consummates his marriage? Probably the only person in this whole nation who still has a bedding ritual?” The condescending expression on your face as you asked him those very obvious questions was unavoidable.

“Ok, you’re right. But I did manage to keep them out of the bedroom.” He offered.

“Do you think anyone is listening in?” You looked around the room.

“I hope not. I asked my mother and uncle to help avoid that. I would have asked my friends, but Toph and Sokka would probably run from Aang and Katara to try to listen in themselves.” You giggled, and he couldn’t help but chuckle too. “I told you. We don’t have to do anything right away. We can warm up to it, if you want to. And someday, eventually, we’ll… fulfill that duty.”

“Wow, Zuko, you make it sound so sexy.” Your voice was like velvet as you spoke, running a finger down his chest. He knew you were joking, but he couldn’t help the way his body responded. Another giggle slipped from you, and he took a deep breath of relief.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know how else to talk about it.” He huffed a small laugh.

“Well, calling it a duty makes it sound way less fun than it should be, even if that’s what it is.” You laid back down, placing your head on your hand for support. “You talk about warming up to it if I want, but do you want to warm up to it?”

How does it always end up like this? He wondered. It was rare that you were shy with him, and you were probably the person he was less nervous and awkward around. But anytime it was a harder conversation, no matter how nervous you got, he’d always end up the most flustered. “I –” He didn’t know how to answer.

“Ok, let me rephrase. Do you feel like you need to warm up to it, or would you prefer waiting for the time to come and worrying about it then?” Zuko laid down close to you, mirroring you; his elbow propping him up.

“I – I think if we just… leave it all until that day when we decide to…” He hesitated again.

“Fulfill our duty.” You repeated his expression with an amused smile.

“Yes. I’m scared if we do that it might go horribly wrong.” He scanned your face for any trace of frustration or offense, but your expression was calm and open, ready for the explanation you already knew he wanted to give you. “It’s just – We kissed today, and that went well.” The memory of it made your stomach swirl. “But if we never, uhm, touch or do anything else ever again, I’m scared we’ll be too nervous, or it’ll be bad or, spirits forbid it, I hurt you somehow. I don’t want that to be what breaks us – our friendship. Not just because we might have to-” he gulped “do it more than once. But I really don’t want to ruin what we have. You’re my favorite person. But – if you want to wait, we wait.” That softness – that sweetness and consideration for others that got his face burnt and himself banned – it was your favorite thing about him.

“You’re my favorite person too.” You reached for his shoulder and gave him a comforting caress. “For the record, you won’t ruin anything. But I agree. If we just leave it until that day comes, I think it’ll just make it more nerve wracking.” There was a long silence between you, and eventually he moved closer.

“So, what do we do?” His pupils had tripled in size. Probably from fear, you thought.

“I’m not sure... do you know how much you want to do?”

“No. Do you?” The air between you grew warmer by the second.

“No.” You confessed. “I trust you, though. Do you trust me?”

“Of course.” His answer was accompanied by a caress of your cheek, as if the fact you needed to ask made him worry.

“How about we just kiss again? We can do it for a bit and then stop, or - go further.” You paused. “If-if you want. If we want. If we’re ok with it.” The flush of his cheeks was impossible to conceal. You weren’t sure what it meant, but it made you want to kiss him even more. “Is that ok?”

“Yes.” His reply came perhaps a bit faster than he wanted to. “But only if you want to. We don’t have to do everything tonight. There’s still plenty of time.”

You could tell he was nervous; scared of doing something wrong or pushing you too far. “I know.” You placed your hand over his on your cheek and slowly moved your thumb against it. “Besides, I’m definitely not ready for a kid yet.” Zuko huffed out a laugh and leaned against you. He was perpetually amazed at your ability to break the tension in any conversation you had.

“Yeah, me neither.” He agreed. “Does that mean we’ll only do it when we’re ready for one?” You couldn’t tell if he was joking or not, so you just stared at him confused, which made him laugh again.

“Idiot.” You lightly slapped him on the shoulder as you sat up. “For your information, I take precautions. I’m not giving you an heir until I want to. No matter how much you try.” There was a smug look on your face; your arms crossed. The Fire Lord sat up and mirrored you with a very poorly faked offended expression.

“Oh, and were you planning on keeping that from me?” His brow quirked. “I see. So, this was your plan all along. Get me in bed and have me as many times as you wanted under the guise of ‘making an heir’.” Your jaw dropped, letting a small sound of shock slip from you. You immediately took your pillow and hit him with it.

“How dare you!” Both you and he were trying to stifle your laughter as you kept hitting him with the pillow. “We didn’t discuss the details of our wedding night. Was I supposed to just pray nothing would happen if we did have a bedding ritual?” Finally, he grabbed the pillow from your hands and his chuckling subsided somewhat.

“Ok! Ok. You’re right. You were smart to do it.” Zuko conceded.

“I’m always smart.” You quipped.

“That’s true.” His eyes were back on yours, and something shifted. The air was getting thicker again. For a long moment, neither of you spoke. “You looked beautiful today.” The warmth in your cheeks was such, you were scared you’d be the one spitting flames soon. You wanted to reply; say thank you, tell him he looked beautiful too, but the words got stuck in your throat. “You still do.” For the first time that night, maybe ever, his eyes dared to openly gaze at your body, even if for only a moment. He could see the way your breath hitched; how your chest rose and fell after, and he thought maybe he had been too forward.

“So did you.” You managed. Suddenly, you became aware of how close you were. Your eyes shifted to his hair and you thoughtlessly reached for a few strands of it as he leaned over you. It was still so smooth; maybe even more so. He watched you silently, allowing your fingers to rake through his hair and brush against his chest. Silence rarely felt comfortable around others, who usually took his lack of speech as a bad sign. But with you, it felt natural. It was only broken when there was something to be said.

“Should we kiss, then?” He asked, after a while, with his typical straightforwardness. You didn’t tease him about it this time. Instead, you spoke as plainly as he did.

“Yes.” Zuko slowly leaned towards you, like he had at the end of the ceremony. This time, however, there was no fear, only anticipation. He still tasted like the fire plum liqueur the two of you had shared in the final toast before leaving to your chambers: warm and sweet. The kiss was gentle, careful, afraid of asking too much. Your lips moved slowly against one another’s, their movements balanced, like Tui and La. When you felt his hand reach for your cheek, just as it had before, you were grateful to have something to ground you from the dizzy, floaty feeling that took over you. He wasn’t faring much better. His other hand found support on the mattress to help him from falling onto you.

Time had stopped again, and neither of you knew for how long you were kissing, because this time there was no reason to stop. The hand on your cheek eventually moved down, settling over your jaw and neck, and you didn’t notice when your own hand reached for his chest, much less when it moved up, grazing his collarbone – slightly exposed by his robes – and landed at the place where his neck and shoulder met; your thumb brushing over his Adam’s apple. Kissing him felt so intuitive that you didn’t even think about your movements or what you were doing. You wanted to stay like this forever, wanted to be able to feel his lips on yours for the rest of your life. Your hand moved naturally to the nape of his neck, where it found the roots of his silky hair, gripping them softly as your tongue brushed against his lip. Zuko had been trying to be careful, not get too excited or go further than you might want. The way you deepened the kiss and allowed your nails to graze his scalp made a small noise of both surprise and pleasure escape from his throat.

Before he could get carried away, he broke the kiss to look at you. He was so flushed, his pupils were bigger than you had ever seen them, and only then did you notice how much his breath had quickened. “I’m sorry, I just – I feel really hot.”

“Do you want to stop?” You brushed his hair away from his face; your brows pinched with worry.

“No.” His eyes flashed to your lips as he answered, before pulling you closer and kissing you again, surprising you. This time, the kiss deepened quickly, and when you felt his tongue brush against yours, you let out a breathy sigh that made him pull you into his lap.

Being that close, you could feel it, he really was burning up. Slowing down the kiss, but never breaking it, you untied his thick silk robe, allowing it to slide from his broad shoulders, down his thick arms, revealing his toned, smooth chest. Only then did your lips part, and you looked down at him. It wasn’t the first time you had seen Zuko shirtless. You had been to the beach on Ember Island with him, trained under the scorching midday sun, but it was the first time it made heat pool between your thighs. That heat became even more intense when you noticed he was hard.

“Better?” You asked, looking back up at his face, not acknowledging what you were sure was an instinctive reaction.

“Yeah.” He breathed, caressing your cheek.

“I’m hot too.” The way you said it – looking at him in a way you never had before – he hoped it meant this was more than duty to you, because by now he certainly knew it was much more to him. Unlike his, your robe didn’t have a tie, so you simply shrugged it off. His eyes ran up your torso as you did, noting your perked nipples, and kept going, until they reached your face.

You were frozen looking at him, unable to make another move. Stuck between your need to keep going and your confusion at your own feelings.

 “I trust you.” It was an open invitation; one that gave him the space to decide what he wanted to do, if anything. Both of you were terrified at the realization that you wanted to give yourselves to the other. Not only because it was so sudden and unexpected, but also because you thought you were alone in that feeling. The closeness you were both experiencing was born of trust and friendship, and the recognition that you wanted more felt like a betrayal of those very concepts.

His hand reached for your neck, pulling you towards him so he could kiss your cheek. “Thank you.” He mumbled against your skin, before beginning a trail of timid kisses. Upon reaching your jaw, his restraint waned, and they became braver, hungrier. You did your best to contain the sounds bubbling at your throat as you felt his kisses settle at your neck and his fingers grip your waist, but when you felt him sucking at your pulse point, you couldn’t help but roll your hips and sigh into his ear. You almost got to feel him under you, but before you could, one of his hands squeezed your thigh and, in a swift movement, you were beneath him. 

It was like he had lost himself. His fingers tangled with yours – lips never leaving you – travelling lower and lower until he reached the junction of your neck and shoulder. You drank him in, incredulous that he was giving you so much. The quiet sighs that slipped from you turned into soft moans, and your free hand gripped his back, pulling him even closer. His brain was filled with you, to the point he couldn’t think. Each nip at your skin gave him more of a taste he could never tire of; each little moan was like a preview of what he knew would become his favorite sound. The tips of your fingers, digging into his back, were like a call to bring him as close as possible. He kissed you again, lost in the whirlwind of you. A groan escaped him just as he ground himself against your core, and the whine you let out was what finally woke him from his daze.

 “Please.” Zuko was panting; lips glistening and golden irises practically gone under the black of his pupils. “Tell me when to stop.”  He was even hotter now. The sweat that formed instantly evaporated from his skin. “Tell me how far I can go, because I can’t draw that line myself.” His brows stitched together as he looked at you with eyes full of worry; worry he’d ruin everything between you.

“Me neither.” Your hands held his face as you gazed back at him. There was nothing but sincerity, trust, and adoration in your eyes. Still, he hesitated. “Zuko,” you brushed your thumb over his lower lip. “I don’t want you to stop.” His breath hitched. “Please, I-I want you.” His hand cradled your face at your admission, and he kissed you again.

If there was still any doubt you wanted to go further, it dissipated when you reached for his hand, making his fingers graze down your sternum until they reached the small knot that kept your nightgown secure. His eyes flashed to yours for a moment, as if he couldn’t believe your silent request, and when he saw the way your lips parted with expectation, he finally pulled a string, undoing the knot. He used his hands to brush the fabric off you, grazing your breasts as he did. You gasped at his touch; your skin filling with goosebumps.

“Spirits…” It was an absent-minded murmur of amazement. His thumb brushed your nipple again, and he relished in the way your back arched, pushing you against him. As his hand roamed, touching places it never had before, he couldn’t take his eyes off you, or his mind off the idea that you wanted him, too. Sweeping his hair off his face, you laid a sweet kiss to his temple, and the way it made his heart pound against his ribs stopped his breathing for a second. You wanted him, but maybe only for that night. Maybe it was the heat of the moment, built upon by the roles you had played that day. If it were so, he’d make sure to make it as good for you as he could.

His lips began tracing a path down your neck again, but this time, they didn’t stop when they reached your collarbone.

“Zuko.” You couldn’t help but moan his name at the cold feeling of his mouth leaving your nipple to nip at the flesh right below it. He hummed against your skin as he kept going, leaving a trail of licks and kisses.

His hand trailed down your stomach, your underwear catching on it as he moved to squeeze your thigh and kiss the top of it. You opened your legs instinctively with a soft sigh, and he settled between them like he belonged there. This time, he kissed the inside of your thigh, before looking at you again as his hand grazed your center. A chill ran down your spine, making your squeeze your eyes shut with a whine. There was already a wet patch on your underwear, and Zuko laid a kiss right over it, never taking his eyes off your face. 

“Th-that’s not how you make heirs.” You joked through gritted teeth; gripping the silk sheets and trying not to catch fire.

The Fire Lord tittered, and you could feel the exhale through his nose against your core. “I know.” A smirk painted his lips. “But I thought that wasn’t what we were doing tonight.” At that point, you weren’t sure the burning feeling in your cheeks came from embarrassment or your almost incontrollable need for him to touch you. You knew he wasn’t trying to be smug – he simply met your jokes with honesty and amusement, as usual – but that only made it worse.

“I-it isn’t.” You struggled to speak through his continuous caress of your skin.

“Can I keep going, then?” There was still some playfulness to his tone, but the way his thumb rubbed circles on your hip was a constant reminder of how much he cared for you, and how he would only do what you wanted him to.

“Yeah.” You breathed.

Zuko reached for your underwear, hooking his thumbs beneath the band on each side of your hips. When he pulled them towards his chest, you felt them simply slide off. Your breath quickened at the realization – he had burnt through where he had been holding them.

Once they were discarded, his mouth focused on the inside of your thighs again, and you could feel the delicious sting of his sharp canines between kisses. He pulled one of your thighs over his shoulder so he could bring you closer, and the sight of you had him pushing his hips against the mattress and biting his lower lip.

“Fuck.” You were so wet already; lips glistening with barely a touch from him. His thumb brushed up and down, spreading your slick even more, making you moan softly at the gentleness of his touch. He kissed you all over, getting a hint of your taste. “Taste so good.” His breath fanned against you as he murmured. It felt so good you couldn’t even let yourself feel flustered at his words. You felt yourself going insane with the tortuous pace he had set, taking his time and appreciating every bit of you with soft kisses. Finally, he licked your lips, and the tip of his tongue grazed your clit. This time, your moan sounded more like a desperate whine, and he knew you needed more. “My beautiful wife.” You thought he was trying to ease the tension of the moment with playfulness, but the way he whispered it made your heart flutter, and your hips bucked to meet him as, at last, he gave you what you needed. It came so naturally, he didn’t even register what he had said, and he let himself melt into you as his lips and tongue worked, gently suckling on that small bundle of nerves. One of his hands reached up your side, to your ribs, just under your breast, while the other slowly worked your entrance, making you rut your hips in search of more.

Your hand had reached for his hair, and your quiet moans became more intense. The strain in his pants was getting painful, and he ground his hips against the mattress in tandem with your rhythm, trying to find relief.

You were so beautiful like that – breathless, fiery hot, wet, moaning, attached to his mouth – he wanted to give you everything. His fingers finally slid into you, and the ease with which he found your sweet spot was surprising. The moment he curled them, you keened, and all your restraint, if there was any of it left, burnt away.

“Zuko – ah – please – don’t stop.” You couldn’t even keep your eyes open anymore. He moaned, unable to respond in any other way, and the way the sound vibrated against you only made you come closer. It wasn’t a fast pace, but it was so precise, so determined, every feeling was enhanced a thousand-fold. There was something stirring in him at seeing you like this, and breathing in your scent, tasting a part of you that could only be accessed if you wished it, only made it clearer. Zuko didn’t just want you, and certainly not for one night only. Finally, your orgasm coursed through you like lightning. Your muscles contracted in pleasure in such a way you couldn’t even make a sound. He helped you ride it out, stopping only when he felt you relax completely, but his realization had brought his own high down.

You were his favorite person, the only one who, aside from his uncle, seemed to see right through him even if he himself didn’t. Being away from you had been one of the many great pains in his life. Your presence was calming, your touch comforting, and your voice a source of support, laughter, and happiness. How had it taken getting this close for him to realize just how much he needed you – how much he loved you? Seeing you like that, kissing you, touching you – it was like he had woken up to the most obvious of truths. You were his destiny, and he had been blindingly walking towards you all this time. But was he yours? Did you feel the same? Or had he brought you into something that would bring you nothing but misery as soon as you realized he wanted more than the friendship he had promised? His breath was shaky when he came up to look at you.

“I didn’t know.” Worry covered your features when you noticed how glassy his eyes were. “I didn’t know I’d feel this way. I’m sorry.” He scrunched his eyes closed, trying to stop the tears from coming, and his forehead fell against your stomach. Even with the knowledge that he needed to step away, he couldn’t let go of you, digging his fingers deeper into your flesh.

“Feel what way? Zuko, what’s wrong?” His hair cascaded down his face, covering your torso. You did your best to gather all of it in the same direction, so you could see him when he looked at you again. He didn’t answer, so you waited a moment longer, running your fingers through his scalp, hoping he wasn’t regretting everything.

“I didn’t know I’d feel… the way a lover is supposed to, not a best friend.” His voice vibrated through you, just as the warmth of his breath seeped into your skin. “I’m so sorry.” He repeated with a small sob.

“Neither did I.” Your eyes were fixed on the ceiling as you spoke, breathlessly. You already knew you loved Zuko more than anyone, but you never thought it would feel like this. Maybe that was why you had never found anyone you liked enough to date for too long. One way or another, they would always disappoint you or misunderstand you in ways you knew he never would. “When we kissed – earlier today – I had never felt that way before.” He slowly lifted his head to look at you again. “I didn’t want you to stop, and it was scary and confusing, because it made me realize that –” you felt his weight leave you as he raised himself to look at you properly. “You already had me in every other way. Forever. And if I also wanted you to have me like this, then maybe you were more than a best friend to me.” He was hovering above you now; his eyes flashing between yours and your mouth in a mix of desire and disbelief. “And if you didn’t feel the same,” Zuko moved in closer, brushing the tip of his nose against yours. “I’d have to live with that forever.” Those last words were an almost whisper that was drowned out by his kiss. His hand caressed your face with a sweetness that bordered on reverence, before his lips slowly left yours again.

“Yours.” He murmured. “I’m all yours. In every way.” The fire in his golden eyes as he spoke must have been the same as the one in yours as you heard him. There was nothing holding either of you back now. Lips melded together with such intensity, the room’s braziers burst into big, bright flames that licked at the walls. The room was boiling at this point, but neither of you noticed, too distracted by the feeling of skin on skin. You touched him unabashedly, letting your hands wander, memorizing each new detail – his strong chest, the scar right at the middle of it, the trail of soft hair and the lines at his hips that led to where he ached for you. He couldn’t contain the noises that slipped from him, especially not the surprised moan he let out when you gripped him through his pants. His cheeks were a bright scarlet, his chest heaving, and the way he looked at you when you stopped to reach the tie in his pants made you think he was going to cry at the loss of your touch. Almost immediately, his lips were back on yours as he helped you remove the rest of his clothing. As soon as he did, he slotted himself between your legs again, and you could feel him pressed against your thigh, hot and hard. His kisses came down to your neck, making you more and more desperate to feel him. An adjustment of your hips, and you were finally able to grind yourself against him, making the two of you moan.

“Fuck –” he hissed against the crook of your neck as his arm slid under you, encircling you completely “you’re still so wet.” The feeling of his tip nudging against you was dizzying. You reached for the nape of his neck, tugging at the roots of his hair as you covered him in your slick. “You look so beautiful.” Zuko said, before planting another kiss to the column of your throat.

“Need you, Zuko – ah – please.” You struggled between sighs.

“I’ve got you, sweetheart.” He cooed. “Just tell me if it hurts.” Having seen and felt him, his statement didn’t surprise you, but still, you didn’t expect to feel so full. He was slow and gentle, never taking his eyes off you so he could check for any discomfort. When he finally bottomed out, his head rested at the crook of your neck again as he tried to stay still. “Hng – spirits – you’re so warm, my love.” The mix of the pet name and the way he twitched inside you made you gasp, bringing your hips up further, trying to pull him even deeper.

“Please move. Please – it feels so good.” His thrusts were shallow at first, but the sounds you made at the feeling of him entering you again and again chipped away at his restraint. Soon, they were deep and steady, hitting that perfect spot he had already found before.

“That’s it.” Zuko was panting, his skin was on fire. “You’re taking me so well.” A louder moan escaped you, and his ability to hold off grew weaker.

“Just like that, don’t stop.” You pleaded, feeling the tension in your stomach build up again.

“I’m sorry – ah – it feels too good, I-I don’t think I’ll last much longer.” It had been entirely too much. All the feelings, the kissing, seeing you completely for the very first time, touching you, feeling you. He had tried to remain steady in his self-control, but as soon as he felt how warm and wet you felt, gripping him so tight, he knew he was lost.

“Please, Zuko, I’m so close.” Your eyebrows were pinched together at the mix of heat and pleasure. His hand reached down between your bodies to find your clit, and as soon as he began rubbing it in small circles, he felt your grip on him tighten. A loud groan left him as he tried to hold on for you, and if your eyes hadn’t been shut, you would have seen the steam radiating from your bodies.

“Fuck, you’re perfect.” He couldn’t even think anymore. His lips let out anything that came to mind in between the moans he couldn’t hold off either. “Thank you. Thank you for being my wife – ah – thank you for being so good to me – fuck –” Your moans and the sound of skin on skin filled the room as you felt yourself reach your peak again and his thrusts became erratic. “I love you. I love you – I-” The words made you burst like an overflowing dam, shooting a thousand sparks through your body. As soon as he felt it, Zuko let out a loud whimper, spilling hot inside you. He rode out both your orgasms and stayed inside you a little longer after his hips stopped moving, peppering you with kisses.

“Thank you.” You whispered sweetly, pulling a few strands of hair behind his ear.

“For what?”

The question made you titter. “For being my husband, for being so good to me.” He quickly caught on, and if his cheeks weren’t already a deep red, he would have blushed more. “I love you.” You kissed the tip of his nose as he huffed out a chuckle. “I love you.”