Rissa

I am the sea and nobody owns me.

Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it’ll always get you the right ones.

There are a few things in life so beautiful they hurt: swimming in the ocean while it rains, reading alone in empty libraries, the sea of stars that appear when you’re miles away from the neon lights of the city, bars after 2am, walking in the wilderness, all the phases of the moon, the things we do not know about the universe, and you.

I love deep talks. Like, hell yeah, tell me about why you’d prefer to talk to your mom rather than your dad. Tell me about your favorite lyrics in the songs you listen to everyday and why they’re your favorite. Tell me about the dog you had when you were growing up and how he was your best friend. Tell me about what kind of books you like to read when you’re alone in your room. Tell me about the things you think about right before you fall asleep. Tell me anything and everything. I just want to be the one you tell it all to. Please let me be the one.

I’ve made many mistakes in my life, but I think the biggest mistake was thinking it was my fault you left me.

It hurts until it doesn’t. You think it’s going to break you, but it won’t. You may not sleep as well at night, but you will be fine. Numb, but numb and fine are the same.

I will always wonder if you still think of me sometimes.

I’m over it. I swear I’m over it. But sometimes it still gets hard to breathe when someone walkes by who wears your perfume and sometimes my heart still hurts when someone says your name. Sometimes it still makes me wanna scream my lungs dry when I see a picture of you. Sometimes I still need 14 shots of vodka to forget the pain that you caused. And sometimes, my heart is still breaking when I think about the way you used to look at me. But I’m learning to live without you.