Cultural Appreciation VS Yellow Fever

So, I’m a pure-blooded Chinese. I’ve dealt with ‘Yellow Fever’ since I set foot in the western society. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for sharing my cultures to those who show interest, but a shitton of people like to guise their blatant asian fetishization under “I just love your culture!!”.

So here is a quick guide from an asian person to tell you the difference between loving and respecting our culture, and being an asian fetishist.

Note: Everything illustrated below are real-life encounters.

1) We’re not your language guinea pig (unless we agree to it).

This is almost a daily occurrence to me, people shouting random phrases in some sort of east asian dialect and expecting me to be impressed.

First off: The fact that you’re directly assuming I’m from a certain country or that I can speak that certain language just because I’m asian is problematic. You’re basing all your assumptions on the fact that I’m asian, and more times than not, this is just gonna backfire in your face.

Although this isn’t inherently harmful, it’s just an awful first impression overall.

If you were to get to know me as a person a little better first (following the normal steps of how to introduce yourself - name… age… hobbies… etc) then ask me about my cultural origin because you’re curious, that’s fine. 

Don’t go into a conversation/friendship with the intent of using that person to better your own understanding of the culture/language. We KNOW when you’re doing that. It’s just disrespectful. But if you get to know us as a person first, then ASK us if we could help you every now and then with understanding our culture, most of the time we’re gonna be okay with it. 

2) “I’m more asian than you”

This is a problematic phrase in itself.

You’re not “more asian” than me just because you’re remotely better at several aspects of life that are considered stereotypically “asian”.

If you’re doing these things just to be “more asian” - then you’re just a stereotyping, ignorant person. If you are not asian - you are not asian. End of. You can still learn about asian culture and appreciate it as who you are.

You can’t say “Gosh I wish I was asian” when all you know about asian people are its ‘exotic stereotypes’, and turn a blind eye to the less interesting aspects of asian like racism, corrupt politics, and history.

3) Fetishization VS Preference

It’s not as complicated as people make it out to be.

See examples below:

Left: You’re a racist who likes stereotyping all asian women as dainty and submissive and as faultless as your anime waifus and you are not afraid of achieving that by putting women of ethnicities down with negative stereotypes.

Right: You recognize that people of all ethnicities are different and beautiful in their own, individual way and although the person may not be to your taste, you do not blame that on their ethnic appearance.

Left: You’re trying to impress me by saying you’re an elitist who only date asian people but in honesty you’re just fetishizing us and sees us as ‘golden trophies’ rather than people. By explicitly stating you’re ONLY interested in asian people, you’re honestly just saying you’re a shallow racist asshole.

Right: You recognize that you have a preference, but know that it’s just a perk rather than a rule that dictates your ultimate decision to get to know me better as a person. The perk doesn’t affect your opinion of me either way.

In conclusion: I am all for internationalism and cultural appreciation. But fetishizing is not a form of appreciation. It’s a form of disrespect, stereotype, and ignorance.

If you really want to learn about our culture, start off by listening to us. Get to know about us as a person, and how our culture has affected us as a person. Do your own research, ask questions with an open mind and think of us as a friend of yours who’s asian.

wash your face every night - washcloth, warm water, and a simple cleanser will do wonders. plus, warm water helps make you all sleepy for bed

take a multivitamin every day - and keep an eye open for coupons for them. usually multivitamins have some pretty great coupons

if you can, open the windows every once in a while. fresh air does a lot of good for your body (and state of mind)!

keep a few cleaning supplies in the bathroom. every so often after having a shower, give things a quick wipe-down. the steam from the shower dislodges any sink guck, making the job much easier - and never underestimate the power of a clean bathroom for both physical and mental health

keep a water bottle by the bed and drink some water when you wake up. it’ll help you greet the day a little easier, and plus - whose mouth ISN’T as dry as the sahara when they wake up?

it’s not always easy, but try to make doing dishes before turning in for the night a habit. i can’t express how lovely it is to wake up and walk into a clean and tidy kitchen

keep snacks in the fridge that are delicious and healthy - my faves are strawberries, cherry tomatoes, and grapes. i love snacks. plus, there’s not really much prep involved with those kinds of things

sweep! sweeping takes up a bit more physical energy, but it’s become one of my favourite things to do. i put on some nice music and visualize sweeping out not only dirt, but anything else clouding up my space - negative energy, self doubt, etc. it’s a nice, witchy little ritual for me now.

light a candle, specifically one that smells delicious

identify the things that make you feel better about yourself and your surroundings and prioritize them and only them when you’re feeling sucky. that way, you still feel accomplished, but you aren’t using up all your mental and physical energy trying to run through all your tasks/cleaning/etc

make your bed to immediately make your room look more put together

water first, then coffee or tea

pray or meditate, even just for ten minutes, to set the tone for your day

browse the news headlines ( & read the articles that interest you when you’ve got time)

wear something you feel b o m b in

listen to music while doing your daily activities-commuting, cleaning, cooking, exercising

smile at at least two people

smile at YOURSELF

call or message someone you love

eat food that makes you feel radiant

make lists of things you need to accomplish for the day

stretch for 10 minutes

record in your phone the positive thoughts you have so you can remember them

carry water with you (always always always)

shut off your phone for an hour and have some ME time

take a hot shower or bath at the end of a stressful day

try to make plans to spend time with someone at least once a week

think about 3 things you are grateful for at the end of each day

do something calming, relaxing, and non-electronic 30 minutes before you sleep

“Tokyo has adopted an anti-discrimination ordinance to help protect the LGBT community.

The move, aimed at tackling hate speech ahead of the 2020 Olympic Games, was approved by the Tokyo Metropolitan Assembly and will come into effect in April.

As part of the ordinance, Tokyo will regulate the use of public spaces, such as city parks, to prevent anti-LGBT groups from promoting discriminatory rhetoric.

It will also improve access for same-sex couples in situations such as hospital visits.”

Marion: “I want you to be the very best version of yourself that you can be.”

Lady Bird: “What if this is the best version?”

Lady Bird (2017)

When you least expect it, nature has cunning ways of finding our weakest spot.

Hi! This is such an important thing to be discussing. I have made a very big point at making sure my personal feminism includes everyone- and educating myself and discussing these topics have really helped.

Issues that are commonly thought of as feminist issues include sexual assault, rape, abortion, Planned Parenthood, domestic violence, equal education, and the wage gap. Feminists have also adopted marriage equality and gay/lesbian rights as their issue which is wonderful.

However, with as many issues as feminists have succeeded in adopting, many of us seem to have not accepted the fact that police brutality and race issues are our issues too.

“White feminism” forgets all about intersectional feminism. The way a black woman experiences sexism and inequality is different from the way a white woman experiences sexism and inequality. Likewise with trans-women and Hispanic women. While white women are making 78 cents to the dollar, Native American women are making 65 cents, black women are making 64 cents, and Hispanic women are making 54 cents. Kimberlé Crenshaw said it perfectly in 1989 when she said “The view that women experience oppression in varying configurations and in varying degrees of intensity. Cultural patterns of oppression are not only interrelated, but are bound together and influenced by the intersectional systems of society. Examples of this include race, gender, class, ability, and ethnicity.” This includes trans women especially, who have been robbed of their souls when they are told they are not “real women” It is SO important to protect trans women and trans youth as they are incredibly at risk when it comes to sexual assault and hate crimes. People also seem to forget that black women are victims of police violence too- from Sandra Bland to India Clarke- a trans woman who was beaten to death in Florida just a month ago.

The fact that when Amandla Stenberg wrote this beautiful and truthful piece http://instagram.com/p/5D-u1Vm1c8/ she was automatically labeled the “angry black girl” says enough. We are so quick to applaud white women for commenting on race issues/discussions like #BlackLivesMatter, and #SayHerName, but when a black girl comments on it- she is told she is overreacting or being angry.

Comments like the ones you mentioned in your question drive me insane. I have personally seen men get called gay/ f**/ pu*** for wearing anything even remotely feminine. Gay is simply not an insult. Also, let’s not forget that black men cannot wear hoods without being stereotyped as thugs.