swaine bonen’t

it hasn’t been long, but it’s been fun. but hyperfixations and interests come and go. i greatly enjoyed ni no kuni, but then i find new things that make this just seem boring, and no longer fun or entertaining. i can’t keep myself locked into one fandom forever.

another big issue is keeping up with posting. making content for this game was fun until it began to feel like a chore. i liked making dumb drippy fancams and shitposts, but as time went on, it felt like i was forcing myself to post more. i wasn’t making content for myself anymore. i was making it because i didn’t want to upset the people who enjoyed what i made.

i won’t force myself to continue making content that feels more like work than fun. that’s the issue i have with my bigger interests. if i start making content for them, i start to feel burnout. when i feel burnout, associating that source with it just ruins it for me. ni no kuni is a fun and phenomenal game. but now, whenever i play it, i just think, you haven’t posted on your blog in a while. you haven’t made content in so long. people are waiting for you.

i want to be able to enjoy my current interests/hyperfixations without feeling like i need to come up with original jokes. which is why i’ve been enjoying xenoblade chronicles and mother 3 so much—i never made blogs for them. i never forced myself to make content for them. i just enjoy them my own way, and i’m okay with that.

i love every single person in this community. i made great friends here, people whom i care about and will miss. but i can’t keep doing this to myself. i’ll be keeping this blog up, but this will be the last post on it. i hope you all understand, and thank you all for making me feel so welcome in this community. i’m not on tumblr often, but i may reblog things occasionally over on my main, @phantom-evil-nightshade if anyone is interested in that. though, i’m mostly active on discord and instagram, which i’m not comfortable stating what my accounts are.

wanted to fight cassiopeia

but oliver said