SwagRum76_

Someone was here, Someone had beer, Someone was here on this table, But did those events really happen, or was it just another fable, I'm trapped in this loop, My brain has been turned into soup, Everything devolves every cycle, I don't know what's real anymore, Is that a wall, or just another repainted door, Am I really standing on a floor, Did that really air on TV, did they really air gore, I wish I could find peace, Some kind of release, Unfortunately, no matter how many times I try, I'm never really able to truly die, Shifting changes, reality rearranges, What's the difference in it, Each and every loop, I deal with this shit, Every day I spend here, something's changed, I could literally wake up and find the positions of the walls in my room to be randomly rearranged, No amount of anything will help, it's all deranged, Did a mad scientist put me here, Is this all a dream, do I have nothing to fear, I don't know anymore, I don't know, I might as well just cry on the floor

Too late, you didn't return, Time to yank you out of the woods, It's time you learn, Why didn't you come back, Didn't you see the neighborhoods, Why did you talk smack, Did you even realize you hurt me, You probably didn't, you ruined livelihoods, Did you even remotely try to let it be, Was it all because of forces inside, Why did you jolt deep into the woods, Was it all due to the place where you reside, I'm bolting in to retrieve you, I'm not letting you cause even more of a divide, I'm going to make my lesson stick like glue, Don't even answer why you ran into it, I'm sick of your shit, I'm right, it's all outside my comfort zone, Was me yelling at you too much, did you wish to be completely alone, It doesn't matter, when I catch you, relationships aren't the only thing that will be broken, A deep rage lurking inside me has awoken, I will hunt you down, I will track you, Jimmy, I'll make you a clown, I won't accept your pathetic tears, You've been crying ever since I removed your pathetic ears, I think now's a good time to face your fears, You don't have any friends due to me, Any time you tried, I yelled at them, I told them to leave you be, You should've been thankful to have me, You should've left it be, Other parents won't give you the freedom that I give you, Other parents won't teach lessons that stick like glue, Just give up, there's no point, I already gave up long ago, Down here in this place called Idaho, When I find you, I'll break your bones, I'll cut you using the glass from your phones, I'll make sure you'll regret running from me, I'll make you see the light, Come closer, son, we don't need to fight, Come closer and do what's right, Son, son, where are you, We're going to settle this through and through, I can't see anything in these woods, I don't know where you are, Darkness covers every corner, Covering a distance very far, I've already tried bring you to me, Via breaking your favorite guitar, Come out and play, son, Dontcha wanna join in on the fun, Son, son, I can't see you, These woods are so very deep, Reminds me of the times I made you weep, I should probably quit looking for you, You've made it clear you don't want to talk, You've ran away to avoid talking to me, And now, I'm left astray, I'm too deep in the woods, I can't find the way, I can't go back to my home, I'm stuck here forever, Rotting in sin, darkness from within, I'm going to break character for a bit, This whole poem, this whole thing, Is just a metaphor, Just to say, that people may cut you off, If you psychologically torture them, And if you be mean to them, They'll just choose to run out that door, Or in this case, approach the woods, Both settings are just a metaphor for someone cutting you off, Sometimes people can't take it anymore, Sometimes they need to lock you behind that door

I am he, And you ate bees, Broken knees, And we just break bones together, See how the world turn blue, like how they fly, I'm forever, California cakewife, Living in a rented bomb, California T-Shirt, renting an old fishwife, Marrying the boulders, man, You've got a friend in me

I had a customer come in today, Since this is Ikea, I gave out my usual greeting, But they didn't respond to me, They eyed the furniture instead, and began eating it like it was bread, They didn't even read the prices, they just began treating everything like food that can be consumed for free, They started eating a couch first, I tried to manually pull them away, but they weren't budging, I asked the customer for their name, and they said it was Bob, After that, I waited, This job became something I hated, After 20 minutes went by, I decided enough was enough, I called the police, I don't think a human's jaw is supposed to be this supernaturally tough, When they arrived, half of the couch had been consumed, And Bob here stopped eating, looked at the cops, and then resumed, We couldn't get him out of this place, Even when he had several broken teeth and blood all over his face, Nothing we did would stop him at all, Even if we told him the exact date of their downfall, The police didn't know what to do, The police called the police too, I'm really going to get fired for this, aren't I, If so, that's good, I'd rather be at home eating pie, Speaking of home, at this point, I just left and said goodbye, The very next day, all the furniture in the store was missing, I couldn't find Bob anywhere, it's like he vanished from reality, My boss yelled at me, as expected, He told me that I'm fired, and that any future applications will be rejected, I still don't know why Bob did what he did, That must've been painful

How would an Ikea employee react if I just started eating the furniture

What's up, bruh, Have you lost your marbles, All you do is listen to pointless garbles, The interstate isn't just a blank slate, and, You know, you know, you know, you know, What's up, bruh, Seeing pointless drivers, All because of gold in the underwear, And since you know about the last time, I'll make you make sure have a bad rhyme

I'm here in this dark, damp hall, I'm waiting for the power to run out so I can jumpscare you, I'm fucking Freddy Fazbear, You can't touch me, I am him, The doors may be locked but we have plenty of spare suits in the back, You look like an endoskeleton without one to me, Once the power runs out, I can fix that for you if you'd like, Hopefully you're not a human, cus if you are, it'll feel like getting impaled on a spike, I really wouldn't want that, I really wouldn't want that, I'm fucking Freddy Fazbear, not a psychopath, I don't want you to face unnecessary wrath, Just relax, it'll be painless, like a bubble bath, My programming doesn't let me actually see if you're a human or not, I'll find out when the thing inside the suit starts to rot, I don't want to give you your own Bite of 87, I just wish to see you home with your family, ordering stuff at 7/11, Please, understand me, I don't want to do this, I'd rather leave you be

I am Iron Man, Made my suit from a frying pan, You can go ask Thor, I can't move, nevermore, Seven days and nights, Worked on my suit with success, But I was out of luck, This suit's a piece of shit, I'm tired of it, Any time I try to walk, I fall, I should probably go back and fix my mistake, As I don't want to be falling while the world's at stake, I'm going to use a toaster for my suit next time, I might actually just hire a protogen to do the work, It's far less risky

HULK NOT SMASH YET, HULK SAD, HULK NEED PILLS FOR GLAD, HULK NEED THERAPIST, HULK DOESN'T FEEL SO HULK

I didn't collect the infinity stones, but I collected something else, Something painful, something inside, My kidneys have become a place where these things reside, I should've probably listened to my doctor, I got six of those things inside my kidneys, No, I'm not talking about the infinity stones, I'm talking about my kidney stones, Maybe I shouldn't have spent 15 years eating nothing but scones, Maybe I shouldn't have drank all that soda, I should've followed their advice, The only thing mad about me right now, Is the fact that the pain won't go away, Is it permanently here to stay?

I have nanomachines, you can't hurt me, I have the motif belong to those who want to be free, I will die even if I get stung by a singular bee, With my bare hands, I can make a singularity, Let me tenderize you like a food item, I have a giant hammer, I can do the job, Your grandma I have begun to rob, I'm going to annihilate the entirety of this pie, I've cancelled the show Bill Nye the Science Guy, Don't ask me why, I need the infinity stones to break the barrier, My mattress is somehow getting hairier, I forced Freddy Fazbear to quit because I am scarier, Look at me, I'm a teddy bear, I have a pair of scissors I can use to shave off all of your hair, My name is Kevin, I work at seven eleven, Give me your money, This isn't funny, Don't ask me why, I will annihilate the entirety of this pie, Don't cross my path, You don't want my wrath, I've already cancelled Bill Nye the Science Guy, I've deployed more spiders to invade Australia, There isn't any more light, The only way out is through a fight, But you can't hurt me, since I have nanomachines and the freedom motif, Call a friend, tell them I sent you, Or I'll eat your shoe, Topped with glue

I wanted to get out of work, So I went to Area 51, I talked with some aliens, I worked out a deal, They agreed to abduct me in exchange for a meal, I gave them a honey bun, and they accepted it, A beam of light surrounded me, For the first time in a while, I finally felt free, This will be the best vacation ever, I want this to last forever, I was beamed up into their UFO, I saw a fancy interior, with high tech stuff everywhere, I told the aliens that this experience is better than working in Idaho, We cracked open a few cans of Bud Light, We went fishing at a lake together, I want this to last forever, This is the best vacation ever, I even got to meet Scatman John while I was there, I don't want this to end, I don't want to clock in anymore, I won't LET them take this away from me, For the first time in forever, I'm finally free, I'm not going to enter my office door, I'm staying here in this UFO, I'm never returning to Idaho, Down on Earth, my company may be spreading lies on TV, But I'm free, finally, I'm free, I can just let go and be me, One more thing, I want to be clear, Scatman John isn't an alien, he doesn't come anywhere near, There's no reason for me to have fear, But something feels off, I feel like this won't last forever, But I won't let it go, I'm sick of people telling me my activity at my job is quite slow, After several days, the aliens seem to have had enough of me, They asked me if I really wanted to be free, Of course, I said yes, and they just ejected me into space, And as a blue tint comes to my face, Remember one thing, Your job doesn't define who you are, You are free to do whatever, You've got this, you're going to go far, Also I'm not the impostor I swear, I had nothing to do with the body in Electrical, I just stumbled upon a spectacle, With my last dying breaths, I let out one final thing, A lyric from Scatman's World y'all can sing: "I'm calling out from Scatland I'm calling out from Scatman's World If you wanna break free, you better listen to me You've got to learn how to see in your fantasy I'm calling out from Scatland I'm calling out from Scatman's World If you wanna break free, you better listen to me You've got to learn how to see in your fantasy"

I left my jar of milk in the fridge overnight, I woke up to banging this morning, I heard a voice asking to fight, I opened the fridge, and there it was, The milk, It began calling to me, It talked about how fighting is free, It offered to give me a fight, I asked it if the cow that produced it wanted to fight, I asked it if the cow would approve of these actions, and if it would think it's right, I got no response, so I took the jar out of the freezer, I smashed it on the concrete, the milk went bad, That was perfectly good milk too, and now I'm sad, But more importantly, how'd it teleport from the fridge to the freezer, Was it moved by my neighbor, the Milk Goblin, who is an old geezer, Who cares, at least the milk didn't decide to sing Buddy Holly by Weezer

technically, you can cast fireball irl by throwing a bottle of Fireball whiskey