Swaggg

Many of my friends and family have been contacting me about the recent events of Justin Bieber.  Probably because I am a self proclaimed "belieber" and I'm not apart of his target audience (12 year old girls).  Well here are my thoughts, I will tell all of you at once so you can all stop asking me this nonsense. And please, after you read this please stop sending me pictures of his mug shot and Miami police report. I don't need you flooding my inbox! haha

Right off the bat, what he did was wrong.  He could have killed people while drag racing under the influence.  I think he deserves consequences for his bad actions.  He needs some major guidance.  Obviously, when he was under closer watch (before he became an "adult" at 18) a lot of these problems were not surfacing. 

Which brings me to my next point, he is not an adult.  He does not think, JB is being a d-bag, and now he's being charged as the law sees to it.  He's got a lot of money, and he basically thinks he can pay off whoever he needs to so he can do whatever he wants.

When I was watching his newest movie "Believe" his creative director asks JB "Are you aware you could be the next train wreck?" and I think we all know the answer to this one.  Yes he is next inline as the next wreck, JB is on the same path as many other child stars... Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Michael Jackson, the list goes on. Is he aware it is happening to him right now? Maybe, after being in that orange jump suit... I don't know, only he knows.

To be honest, I was not surprised when I checked my feed this morning and saw the articles.  How many of you were really surprised? JB has been making bad decisions over and over again.  Are you surprised when another pro-athlete goes bankrupt? Are you surprised when a Kardashian secret surfaces? I'm not. For all of you saying "I knew this would happen" " I called it"... Congratulations? You predicted the most predicable thing. You should become a celebrity psychic.

I have to say something positive about Justin.  I really do like his music.  His new stuff is actually really good and any one who enjoys R&B and Pop music would probably like his newest album.  That is really why I became a "belieber" in the first place.  I know I post all the time about adoring him and buying his music, but honestly that's the reason why he is in jail right now.  I (and other fans just like me) buy his merchandise, music, go to all of his concerts, and that's how he gets all full of himself and thinks the world revolves around him.  All this money + delusional invincibility = all these bad choices. Granted, Justin and only Justin makes those choices... shit, I got him arrested. 

Now to my final point - this "news" is keeping us from REAL NEWS.  For example, I did not read any world news today because I was too busy looking for JB's bond information.  We forget that there is so many other important things we could be focusing on, but instead we look up exclusive videos of Miley Cyrus twerking.  

I didn't even read the Timely Warning in my email because I was too busy thinking about Justin freaking Bieber. (For those that don't know a Timely Warning is an email sent to the entire campus of EMU when there is a safety threat).  I am not a Justin fangirl anymore (shocker, I admitted it).  Not because of him necessarily, but because we all need to give People magazine and reality TV a break and reprioritize. 

I truly believe in the power of one-to-one mentoring.  There is at least ONE person you can trust, count on, and look up to.  There is a level of intimacy that you have with your mentor or men-tee that is unique to that relationship. If I did not have my aunt as a mentor growing up I know I would have turned out way differently.  That is why I make it a point to pay if forward and make sure I am that person to other youngians!

My time as a mentor, companion, god mother, are all experiences I would never ever want to give up.  Big Brothers Big Sisters is a lot about empowerment and ownership.  I try to lead by example to my "little" Madison that she has control over her education, her future, and her choices.  I love going to her school and hanging out with her friends and eating lunch with her... our meetings is something I look forward to every Friday. Any one can get involved with BBBS too!!! check it out. Camp Quality is THE MOST AMAZING experience.  With all the reward, there is occasionally sadness and heart break.  If you volunteer for CQ you have the HONOR of being paired with a child (or sibling of that child) who has been diagnosed and experiences childhood cancer.  The reason I got involved is because my cousin is a survivor (Neuroblastoma - 7 years cancer free!!!) and he attended camp and told me "you have to come". Its a week long camp in the summer where the kids can just be kids, and hang out with other children who have had similar battles.  It is astounding to see the relationships develop, conversations, and smiles at camp. I have met the most resilient, strong, mature, happy children through this program. I love my Jessielicious, we have been paired up for 3 years.. and counting!

Eyes: Please no!

Me: Just one, I swear...

Eyes: Dear god save me!

Me: It's only one chapter it'll be over in no time. (Ohoho only if the chapter sucks)

Brain: Fuck this shit! *shuts down*

Me: *rereads same sentence for 10 minutes* I can do...can't...go on...

Let me tell you...

After 6 months, I think I have finally figured out my "limit".  I know just the right amount of alcohol to drink to get a good buzz, but be able to usually drive myself home by the time the night is over. (I WILL NOT drive buzzed -bad bad bad!)

My friends... they tend to get white girl wasted.  This morning they woke up with dirty hair, bags under their eyes, hickies, sharpie X's on their hands, and dirty high heals.  They don't remember much.  I remind them of the events that went down and I think it is slowly coming back to them.

There are many risks with going out, whether its a house party or a crowded city club. You just have to be smart. Party with people you trust.  Friends that will make sure you won't go home with a rando guy, and will ensure you drink Gatorade after you puke.

To my girlfriends,

You're Welcome.

My major can be so complicated sometimes.  To become a Speech Language Pathologist, a masters degree is required.  One can still major in SLP as an undergrad, but you cannot do anything with only a bachelor's degree (yeah, great I know). Depending how fast I can get into grad school, I needed a safety net. Some universities offer the option to obtain teaching certification with it.  Which is awesome for me since I have always wanted to be a teacher since kindergarten.  My endorsement will be in Special Education which is extra awesome.  Only thing is I have to be able to teach in a General Ed classroom too, that's why I chose English as a teachable minor.

For the past few semesters I have been taking a ton of SLP classes and literature classes.  Its been a year since I have taken any of my "teaching" courses. 

And omg I remember why I wanted to teach so bad.

People in this world truly believe "Those that can't do, teach." That pisses me off. Many probably wouldn't even consider it a profession.  Just because we aren't doctors who spend years in school, or nurses who compete for a spot in a program, or lawyers who have to pass the BAR exam, does not mean Educators aren't professionals. Equal professionals.

Our curriculum is different, some would even say its easy, but it depends on what is considered easy anyways.  Educators are under the watchful eye of colleges, parents, students, and the rest of the community.  EDUCATORS ARE THE FIRST TO TAKE BUDGET CUTS, THE FIRST TO BE SHORT CHANGED IN SALARY, AND THE FIRST TO JUMP IN FRONT OF A BULLET FOR YOUR KIDS, OUR STUDENTS. That's the freaking truth.

I know for a fact there are some bad teachers out there.  Teachers who are not passionate, who go through the motions, and who babysit.  For every bad teacher, there is a knowledgeable, caring, motivated teacher who puts in more hours than you think and probably knows more about your kid than you do. Think back to that one teacher you loved.  Who believed in you, who didn't mock you like every other adult.  Someone you looked up to.  Someone who cut you a break.  A person that didn't underestimate you.

I often think about why I chose Secondary Education English for a minor.  I could have picked math cause I am good at math and its less credits to take.  Then I remember back when I missed a lot of 1st grade.  It felt like everyone in my 1st grade class was reading really well, except for me.  My aunt, who was a preschool teacher at the time bought me TONS of books, and hooked on phonics (it worked for me!) and all of a sudden I was a book worm killing everyone accelerated reader points.

Not to mention in high school, English was the only class required for all 4 years to graduate.  I didn't exceed my peers, but English classes were where most of my A's came from.

Tangent- whoops.

I think a lot of people go through the Teacher Education program at EMU and realize by the time student teaching comes around if that's really what they want to do. I am not putting anyone down that comes to that realization, but please to all those people do not become a teacher. 

I cannot wait to feel the love of a class room.  I am ready to feel the burn from my "problem students".  I honestly believe there are no problem students.  Only a district, teacher or school that isn't providing a stimulating and supportive environment. Every time I step in a classroom my eyes dart at every white board, picture, poster, mail box, back pack, desk and cubbie.

Among my circle of friends, I have basically categorized them into little sub groups that fit my "needs" as a human being.

I have my best friend, she understands me, thinks like me, basically reads my mind.  Almost predict my next move or thought and it can be strange and awesome at the same time.

I have my gay best friend, haha not so stereotypical, but he always lifts my mood.  Tells me I look nice, pretends to be my boyfriend when some weirdo is attempting to hit on me, and pays for my coffee.

I have my asian crew.  They understand my culture. Power in numbers, we go out together and we always have each others back.  Yeah, yeah it is the 21st century, however, in a group of white kids I still feel like "the other". Strangely enough it is only when I am with a group of white people.

I have my school friends or "study buddies".  Students in my program who complain and vent about the same professors, university, and assignments.

I am extremely grateful for my CloseUP friends.  I can literally say or do anything and these people will accept me.  To have friends that have different perspectives, ideas, ways of life... will change your life.  To be able to discuss what would otherwise be seen as "unpopular" or "taboo" and agree/disagree... AND STILL BE FRIENDS is really cool.

Then there are those other friends.

Friends we knew as kids and now keep in touch via facebook. Friends that moved away for college, or work, but once were close with. Friends you like to party with. Friends you like to stay in with. Friends you call your friends, but really aren't your friends.

The reason why I started thinking about my friendships is because there seems to always be that person or people who I try to be friends with, and it's just not going to happen!  I'm not talking about the popular group from middle school.  I'm talking about the person you keep trying to make plans with (and of course plans always fall through). The one you keep in and out of touch with.. etc.

Sleeping in my new bedroom for the first time tonight.  Due to finances I had to move out the of the "Bieber Bachelorette Pad" :/ It was a cozy 4 room, 2 bath on campus apartment that cost me an arm and a leg.  It was covered in Bieber posters and my best friend lived in the room beside me. Luckily, my GBF, James had a vacancy at his place because his roommate is headed to England (JEALOUS) to study abroad.

Now I have been mostly moved in now for about two weeks.  For some reason I could not get myself to sleep in my new bedroom.  I went home for the holidays and when I was in Ypsi I would stay on the couch, or sleep with James in his room.

Moving is the worst.  None of my stuff is in one place.  I have storage at my mom's house, miscellaneous things in Troy, a handful of stuff at my old apartment and to me, home is not where the heart is.  It is where most of your shit is.

I've been all over Metro Detroit just from moving back and forth from the "eastside" to the "westside". Eastpointe, Warren, Canton, Sterling Heights, Troy and Ypsilanti.  Its always a challenge for me to figure out which one my hometown is, if I even have a hometown seeing as 4 years is the longest amount of time I stayed in one city. 

When someone asks me "Are you at home?" I respond: which home?  As confusing as that can be sometimes, I feel blessed to have so many places to go.  I will never be homeless, but I don't think I will be able to call any place my home until I grow up, make money, and buy my own house. :P

Resolution. Resistant.

I wonder how many people really follow through with their New Year Resolutions for an entire calendar year? Don't bother googling it.  I just tried to research it and I found skewed results. 

I can't remember the last time I formed any New Years Resolutions.  I assume the purpose of a NYR is to reflect on the past year and improve the upcoming year.  Self reflection is supposed to be beneficial for the human psyche, and I don't know about you, but self reflection puts me in a funk.  

My birthdays usually have this effect on me too.  I start to think about my achievements, my education, my relationships, my body, my bank account, and probably a handful of other issues that come with facing adulthood along with societal pressures and norms.

Do people only think about things they could be doing better around New Years?  I think about it daily.  When I open a pack of ramen noodles I say to myself "there is nothing else to eat" that turns into "I'm so poor" which then leads to "You need money to go grocery shopping" and equals "You need more time to work (how can you work more when you have school though?) so you can make more money to be able to buy food so you can eat better and then maybe you will get skinnier." Vicious cycle.