chicken tender goddess

jesus

Lmao oh my god?

i had a dream where the hottest meme on tumblr was like… posts where you listed off people who should be prioritised for safety if the great flood happens again (like noahs arc) and it got to the point where they would span for hours and hours down your dash listing more and more obscure traits like “people who have had a front tooth removed but never had a filling” and “people who stood in dog shit last saturday”

*juice by lizzo plays as I lay dead in the woods*

nothing is real and then all of a sudden everything is very real with no warning

not to be That Bitch but it really is insidious that the construction of the concept of “granny panties” has made women self conscious about their freaking underwear of all things (meant to be worn underneath your clothes and not be seen most of the time!!!) to the point where women sacrifice comfort to wear a gstring or cheeky hipster or whatever crap the industry comes up with all so that women can be constantly maintaining not just a pleasing outward appearance but a ~sexy~ state of mind

kafkaesque = anything with a bug in it

really kafkaesque sandwich i had this morning

First italian presidential candidate: when it comes to da economy, I'm italian..so I tink I knowa tingortwo about dough

i never even noticed they misspelled beetles… why did they do that? ok

Beatles…beat….like music…beat…les

beat-less? aint that the truth!! #scalpt #clapback #drag

how are yall under 5'2. grow longer bones

spent all my growin points on the brain cells and huge meat Fresh out sorry