*. 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙 / 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕖 .*

One blink. Two blinks. Three. Stunned silence from Mae. They hadn’t exactly been talking with Minki these last few moments, just kind of sitting next to him as he wasn’t freaking out and causing their anxiety about the situation to rise. His words shocked them, to say the least. Mouth dropped open before finally shaking their head side to side. “Please.. please don’t.” Before they realized, tears started rolling down their cheeks and Mae furiously wiped them away. They don’t realize he’s having a joke, playing with them in this moment. His last words should have clued them into the joke, of course, but Mae never thought of him to pull this kind of prank on them. Looking around, Mae scoots away from him with a shake of their head. “That’s really nice but I don’t.. I can’t. I just, I can’t I’m really sorry Minki. I really like you but I can’t love you.”

Hearing his dramatics, Mae rolled their eyes and dropped his hand back into his lap. “I guess if you’re dying, then no point in me setting your hand or trying to clean it up from infection.” Did they have anything they wanted to say to him? More? Sure, perhaps but they didn’t think it would do any good to drudge up feelings that weren’t reciprocated. “No, it would be pretty useless to share my thoughts right now.” Maybe they were too calm in the face of all of this, realizing that it might be a life or death situation but it wouldn’t be the first they’d gone through. “Have your dramatics, okay? Just keep it to yourself. You’ll scare the others.” 

[ outgoing 3:36pm - ezzzra ] I GOT THE GRANT. I GOT THE GRANT. THIS IS NOT A FALSE ALARM, I GOT THE GRANT. 

[ outgoing 1:50pm - julian ] we should hang out again soon. i know i kind of hate you for what you did to emilie but you were still an awesome friend. 

[ outgoing 5:18pm - simon ] hey, would you like to go to dinner some time? like a date. MESSAGE DELETED.

[ outgoing 2:10am - simon ] okay hear me out sunny and this is going to sound insane i know but i think i might really like simon??? [ outgoing 2:10am - simon ] like around him i dont think about lex or anything else, its just… him. its kind of nice. does that sound crazy???[ outgoing 2:11am - simon ] and he’s super sweet and doesnt seem to care about my not working legs thing.

[ outgoing 9:10pm - lex moon ] i hate how much you made me love you, you know. i hate that i can’t seem to stop caring about you when you’ve clearly given up and moved on. i’m happy that you have, i’m glad you’re better about it. you don’t seem as angry but i hate that i can’t seem to move on from you. what’s the trick? or did you ever care at all?

[ outgoing 5:00am - jo jo ] good morning ! there are bagels on my desk if you want them, cream cheese in the mini fridge. i was up really early for a project and got those for you. have a good day & i’ll see you in class later.

[ outgoing 5:00am - MINKI ! ] this is the 2nd time ive drank since my accident and i hate myself right now. can u come pick me up? i just need help and emmy would yell at me and your sister would too pls come get me.

[ outgoing 7:00pm - EMMY <3 ] sunny, i told lex i still love him and he just… shut me down. i think it’s finally time to admit he doesn’t actually care about me.

Always thankful for their best friend, Mae patted the stool next to them at the table and smiled. “No Sunny tonight? Just us?” There’s happiness in their eyes as they talk, glad for the alone time. Sure, they adored Sunny so much but sometimes they just wanted a night with each of them separately to enjoy how different each one could be. “I think I could eat nothing but egg rolls the rest of my life and be happy. Fat, but happy.” Laughing, they started dividing dishes out and pushing pieces of art out of danger’s way with food. 

They can’t help the little groan that comes out when he moves them, not used to someone so easily moving them around like this. With their face now in his shirt, it was easier to block out the light but the sound was still giving them a problem. “Yeah, I can. I don’t know what good it’ll do though.” Pitiful, Mae just lays on his lap and shakes her head a little. “No, I’m not hungry. Food’s the last thing I need right now, I’d only end up throwing up.” 

They watched him from a distance as he pounded his fist into the door, obviously it was doing nothing but he needed his frustrations out. Mae wandered over to him with a limp, shuffling over across the crowd before dropping next to him. Grabbing his hand, they looked at the bloodied knuckles and clicked their tongue at him. “Yeah- I didn’t care to know that. I really don’t want to know about any penises you’ve had in your mouth. Or where yours has been, yeah?” A bit of a bite to their tone, they use their sleeve to wipe some of the blood off his hand gently. “And we’re not going to die in here. People will come looking for us eventually.”

They hated how much they were starting to rely on the drugs and things the doctor was giving to them for pain and living with all of this. Sometimes Mae wondered if being without them would have been easier. Tired and cranky, they weren’t as smiling as much as normal but having Simon around was making it somewhat better. “Thanks,” they mutter, sliding down to lay in his lap. It felt nice, lay out, having his lap as something softer to lay on. “Unless you magically can produce my medication or anything else- I’m kind of going to be like this.” Arm draped over their face, pressing their forearm across their eyes. And of course a headache would be starting from all of this too.