i remember when your head caught flame.

she’s never known emotion before she met scott and the x-men. not like this. the frost household remained TRUE to their name and was a cold, uninviting home. emotions were not only discouraged but practically BRED out of them from birth. her utter failure of a father winston kept his wife and children oppressed and chose image over family every single time. competition between her and her siblings was a necessary part of their childhoods, what with their father making a SICK game of choosing which child would be his heir. that’s probably why he had them in the first place. his kids. so he would be able to continue the frost family line. it BURNED a man like him to only have one son and three daughters. and the way he discarded christian for …

it’s too painful for her to think about. not her father. not her sisters or her mother. but the way christian was treated. only one of her siblings to ever treat her with kindness. to see emma for who she is. her sisters just saw her as competition the moment she and they were born. christian and emma just wanted to be SEEN as siblings to each other and for each other. which is why she LEFT the family home when she could and disowned her father when she could. refusing to accept his dirty money and wanting to make it through the world on her own. using her gifts of course. 

and she was successful. so successful. perhaps a little too much. after the hellfire club and the massachusetts academy’s destruction, emma had found herself with the x-men. absolutely none of them trusted her. couldn’t blame them. she’s sure some would love to KICK her out if they’re able to. but she had found something … different with them. they were enemies in the past yet they accepted her and took her into their home. accepted her in their life. and over time, gave her a chance. it wasn’t something that she was used to. not something she’d really experienced before. not something she knew how to react to initially. couldn’t understand why they would. emma thought it could all be an elaborate RUSE. after all, why would they let their FORMER enemy into their home ? someone who’s given them so much GRIEF ? the answer was simple: they’re the x-men. and they help all mutants. no matter who they are. this was … an adjustment for her. needed time to get used to it. never known emotion like this before. it’s the GENTLE reminder that she’s holding scott’s hand that snaps her away from her thoughts. yet, she still does not move. ❝ i know. ❞ there’s a smile but it’s a small one. filled with warmth. affection. ❝ i like seeing you too. ❞ present tense. there’s a part of her who wanted to use past tense yet could not bring herself to do so. ❝ i know. ❞ she repeats again but this time, adding a small laugh. 

… … … this is something she might come to REGRET. but she’s going to do it anyway. logic and emotions have gone out the window for her anyway at this point. ❝ scott … ❞ name spoken with a heavy whisper. ❝ i really missed you. and i ––– ❞ she doesn’t get a chance to complete the last sentence before closing the gap between them even more and leaning in for a KISS. 

scott had a childhood that he wouldn’t wish on anyone, with abandonment issues to spare. he had once been someone’s lab rat, used because of his powers and his potential and now he’s forever haunted by the future of himself. he didn’t know if things could change, didn’t know if the future that he is so scared for is the one that will come to fruition, there’s so many things that terrify him all in the love of love, and he knows that maybe emma could be one of those people on the list that should terrify him, but when he saw her he had thought that maybe she just needed someone to just believe in her. let her know that she wasn’t alone and that she could be someone that people could look up to. he thinks it’s unfair all the time that they were cheated out of. scott still can’t wrap his head around the idea that one minute he was here and then he wasn’t. it’s hard to think about the fact that he’ll never get those moments back and what he had missed. so many important dates and watching his brothers grow up. 

to be fully known and loved was a rare thing, and scott knew that he was lucky in that way to have been fully known and loved not just with jean but with emma. it was a different kind of love, not founded on young love and identity, scott had his time away from relationships and had to figure out who scott summer was having already a good idea on cyclops and what he was meant to be. he had fallen so short on himself that he felt like he was constantly working on the scott identity but he just wasn’t very good at it, and all the love that he had felt and had—he didn’t know where to put all of it, because it was too much. it should be illegal to feel this much about a person. but here he was anyway. 

“of course you do,” he says, a gentle tease, his fingers reaching out to move the hair out of her eyes, his fingers grazing her cheek, allowing himself the small moment, feeling like it will go away any second now. it felt like scott was constantly holding his breath, like he was just short of drowning. 

Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

scott: don’t be dead .

( message failed to be delivered ! ) 

Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT.

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

scott: ororo.... i got us tickets to that avengers musical . maybe i am hate watching it but if i am so are you . anyway we’re going on friday and i’m sneaking in those tiny alcohol shots for us like what are they gonna do ? tell me no ? anyway i’m stupid excited to watch this shit show !

Send “✆” for a MORNING text.

☎ for a RUSHED text 

scott: hey jubes just letting you know i’m running hate what ? siri i meant late not hate !

scott: sorry i’m using voice to text and i don’t know if it’s even making sense or going through 

Send “&” for a LOVING text.

scott: i know it’s probably too late a notice but i made a big breakfast. i know that it’s been a long school week and maybe the last thing you want to do is spend it socialising but i can promise you it’s just me. and even then i’d just come over and drop it off for you. 

“So how does one go to having a proper place to stay when your house has already been sold to another family?” @reshieldedstart​

“right?” bart laughs as he sits down. “can’t believe they were almost out already–it’s not even nine yet!” if he’d missed out of these donuts because he decided not to use his superspeed, he’d never forgive himself. who cared about secret identities when life’s greatest pleasures were on the line?

despite his eagerness to savor his treasure, bart’s feeling a bit chatty. the stranger seems nice, and bart would rather make small talk than sit in silence anyway. “i really wanted to try the cinnamon roll donut, but they were already gone. can’t go wrong with chocolate sprinkle, i guess. what flavor did you get?”

the kid was far chattier than what he was expecting, most people in new york didn’t like small talk, and if scott was being honest, he didn’t go out of his way for it either but he didn’t mind the small little mental break not having to talk about the school as much as he loved it. “i’m happy that they were able to still upkeep even during the blip,” not that he knew since he was.... gone, but he had read up on them granted they had barely made it but it seemed they were the little bright spot in a dark world. 

It had seemed impossible at first, that she could ever take Scott’s place and lead the X-Men. But she had done it and the team had grown strong these past few years, found ways to carry on even in a broken world. They didn’t need him anymore, not the way they had before. Yet hearing Scott planned to return still brought her such a relief that Ororo could almost buckle under it. More than that, a joy, her smile growing freer. Maybe they did not need him as a leader, but they, she, Ororo, would always need him as a friend. As her family. She had relied on him so much over the years that it felt like only now, with this reassurance that he would return, she could breathe again. “As your friend, I would like to tell you that you don’t have to. That you could take the chance to carve out another life,” Ororo said, eyes still blurring over, now with an emotion that was half born out of guilt. Did she really want to encourage him to take back all the burdens of his past life, when Ororo knew too well how heavy they were to carry? But there was nothing else for it, her heart had already made the decision for her, “But I don’t believe another life would make you happy, Scott. You always belonged with us.” Her head bowed in a quick nod. “I understand. Five years is a long time. Things have changed. At the school, too. But not everything has. You still belong with us, Scott. Come home soon.” 

she so badly wants to read his mind. she’s made up her mind about it, she knows. but still. he’s always been a FASCINATING mind for emma to look into - even before they started dating. she’s not sure WHY but considering he’s dated not one but two telepaths and was one of xavier’s first students, there must be something in there that’s like catnip to telepaths. when she first met him, it started off a simple ‘ what goes on in the mind of the leader of the x-men ? ‘ but when they got closer, it evolved to seeing who he was and realising - they weren’t so dissimilar. which was a shock because they’re backgrounds and pasts couldn’t be anything but different. they shouldn’t work. on paper, they don’t make sense. but they do. or well, they DID.

for a while, their minds WAS their reality. that’s where they had their first moments. and for a telepath, that was the DREAM. and considering she was still a newly rehabilitated villain at the time, it was just easier for them to keep it to their heads. wanting to avoid any and all jean comparisons was also easier when no-one can SEE what’s going on was another good reason. but everyone figured something was going on. too many lingering looks between them, too many smiles, too many late nights in each other’s office. 

his awkward laugh is the SNAP she needs to get back to the situation. hands start fidgeting and she taps her desk with her fingers a few times before stopping herself. she does not fidget. he’s already taken his hand in hers. yet she will not stop him. maybe she doesn’t. she reciprocates and wraps her hand around HIS even tighter. she’s missed this. ❝ it’s okay scott. ❞ that she does mean. ❝ it’s not something you need to comfort me through. i made my peace with it years ago. ❞ now that IS a lie. ❝ i- ❞ she doesn’t know what to say when he says ‘ i don’t know what we are ‘. it’s not a lie. he’s right, he nor she know what they are. yet it HURTS when he says it. ❝ you’re not responsible for what happened. ❞ … … … 

❝ scott. hold me. like we used to. ❞

scott never liked being so open and vulnerable, there was a part of him that wanted to hide himself away from people, but that was hard with the track record of people that he had fallen for, maybe it all made sense, only they could really see what was going on in that brain of his, maybe see all of what he tried to hide. all the doubts and the fear of failure that he was so often good at. he wasn’t very good at being scott summers, it was like he put him on the backburner in preference to being whoever cyclops was to the people on the outside. but if you shed all of that he was just a boy that didn’t get to really be a boy. it was like he was just starting to catch up before he got knocked down again. falling for jean, it had been easy because they were still so young, eighteen with the world at their fingertips, scott didn’t have to figure out who he was because he got to grow with someone else on the same journey, and when they had ended years later it was like he had been put back to square one until he met emma. 

(maybe scott had been good at finding people in their broken place.) 

falling for emma hadn’t been the plan, in some ways, it snuck up on him, and before he had really realized what was happening it was too late to not let her in. emma had gone through her own stuff that she had to work out, he might not have understood where she was coming from a lot of the time but he gave her the chance because he knows that he would have wanted the same after he momumentally fucked up. wanting someone to just meet him where he was and say that it was fine, they could figure it out together. and at the end of the day, back then, it was who could meet you at your most broken and it had been emma. 

he’s back to square one again, having to restart his life over again because the world had ended about five years ago. it was only seconds for him. he was still trying to figure all of that out and it wasn’t easy. he knows the grief in losing people that you love, and if he wanted to believe emma and what she said, he knew that it was probably the hardest thing for her. they had been together, his jaw clenches, he doesn’t look at her for a moment, just looking at their hands before he says, “i was on my way to see you,” he says, she probably already knows this, but he wanted to tell her anyway, rationalize it for himself how he was typing out the message and before he could press send he was just gone. “before the blip. not for any reason. i just wanted to see you.” he had always wanted to see emma, and now he’s looking at her and he wishes he could read her mind but his powers didn’t work like that. she couldn’t even look at him in the eyes like normal people could in these kind of confessions. it didn’t make it fair. he reaches out now, his thumb caressing her cheek, and he tucks the strands of hair behind her ear. “i know i’m not responsible,” as much as scott had been self deprecating in the past, he knew that this time, this wasn’t on him. “i’m still saying sorry anyway. i had great plans for when i saw you,” he says, shaking his head now, the great plans would have just been sitting on the couch doing nothing, but those moments had always been his favourite with emma. 

since jean had met scott she had thought he would be it for her, specially since they were young with all their lives in front of her she had no doubt in her mind about that, however when it came down to it jean couldn’t be what he needed. she wasn’t ready for what scott wanted and needed at least not back then, and letting him go would probably the hardest thing she had to do and watch him move on was no easier. but years had passed and she had found her peace with it and she will always love scott, and seeing him again only reaffirmed for her that what she had always wanted for him was for him to be happy, even if she wasn’t a part of it like she imagined when she was younger. 

the red head smiles at his words “ well, because it’s true. you are a big part of us. this school. the x-men. ” she chuckles and looks around the hallway they were standing in “ yeah, we did our best. emma did most of the work, i just followed along. it was — ” she stops and takes a deep breath thinking of the hard times of loosing most of the mutants was for her “ it wasn’t easy at all.” words make a soft smile appear on her features, urge to hug him takes over but she fights against it, wasn’t sure where they were yet “ thank you.” things like that had always meant the world for jean, even with the front she puts she still needed it deep down.

jean couldn’t say she fully understood scott’s situation, but she did had some knowledge of how it was to come back to a world that has learned to live without you, and it was a very hard and strange feeling that she wished she could take away from him. a laugh flows out of her lips at his joke “ a very busy one, can’t tell you the last time i was able to see that coffee pot. but you’re here now ! how about you be responsible for that filter ? oh yeah, there’s that.” she nods “ but that little bakery we used to go to didn’t move too far, should we go there ? ”

it had felt like a big loss when jean and scott had broken up. it was like watching the life that he had wanted walk away from him without much explanation. he knew that it wasn’t fair on jean to hold such resentment so he forced himself to move on because he knew that it would be easier for both of them that way. he was still kind and cordial to her if they ever crossed paths at the school, but he couldn’t have been her friend back then, the wound was too fresh, but over time their relationship had turned into something where it was manageable. he could laugh when she told a joke, and eventually, scott finally stopped looking for her in a crowded room, even if sometimes he still swore he could feel her near him. she was, and still is, the greatest love of his life but their time was over and it had been for a while now, he knew that he had been stupid back then, dreams far too big for him to try and maintain. he was just glad to see that she was doing fine now, as fine as anyone could be after what they had gone through. 

he kept hearing that, what he had meant after he was gone, for someone with big abandonment issues he knew that it was meant to make him feel better, but his feelings were complicated—his space among the x-men felt big, he didn’t know how else to really explain it. when she mentions emma, he nods, having met up with her recently, too. “don’t sell yourself so short, jean.” he almost reaches out then, but he stops himself. “you did what you needed to do to survive. that’s pretty amazing all in itself.” god knows how many times scott had failed and let people down. jean and emma were always more capable than he was in many ways, he had a big admiration for him, it’s what made coming back so hard. like he was treading all over whatever work they had made here. he knew that he’d find his footing once more, it would just take more time than he had planned. 

clark was thankful of the person helping him with his glasses and papers. it seems so many people in this city now and days would have just kept walking, or they would have berated clark for spelling his coffee on them. after gathering his papers back up and placing them back where they belong clark looked at the man with a kind smile, “i’m alright, i can’t express how sorry i am though.” clark said, “i’m just rushing to get this article done for my boss, or he’ll have my head. probably quite literally. clark finally stood up extending his hand to the man, “i never even got to introduce myself before spilling coffee all over you, i’m clark kent.” 

bobby’s hears scott coming back is a more recent development than he initially thought. he always thought scott would want to come back RUNNING to the mansion again after coming back. perhaps he just needed a change of pace. a chance to have a life without the x-men. ❝ i’m great ! welcome back by the way. i know you’ve been hearing it all day and you’re probably sick of it but wanted to get my statements in. ❞ the mutant leans against the doorway. ❝ you know we’ll take you back. put you right back to being leader. like you never really … left. i think everyone wants you back - even wolverine. ❞

The way Scott described it did sound kind of nice. Lots of mutants risked getting kicked out by their parents if they embraced their powers, so having a place like Xavier’s seemed like the best possible option for someone in that situation. Ty himself had been absolutely terrified to reveal anything about his crime-fighting life to his parents, and they still didn’t know everything, “Feels a little cult-y,” He snickered to himself, though it’s purely a joke. Obviously Xavier was a good man for setting up his school, “Then again, so do s.w.o.r.d. and s.h.i.e.l.d. At least Xavier’s helps kids control their powers,” They thought about the difference a little longer before continuing, “You think you’ll stay there past all this? Or you’ll go back to your timeline when they find a way?” If they find a way, Ty’s brain helpfully supplied.

it’s been an adjustment for him, yes. coming to earth after being raised as he was with the shi’ar and finding out he had brothers was an adjustment in itself. and then becoming blipped became another adjustment on top of that. gabriel felt like he was barely settling into terran life until it was cruelly ripped away. now he’s back. worse than ever before. barely keeping it in. or so he feels like. ❝ and i as well. ❞ he forces a smile on his face as he takes another bite of the food he’s having. ❝ so how have you been big brother ? or should i say middle brother. alex is the oldest now. ❞