Riley wasnât used to absolute silence. Sure, he could sit by himself, not worry about a single thing, but only when he was drunk out of his mind or even high on something. It wasnât often that he dabbled into drugs, but he had his lower moments. Recently, however, heâd managed to stay away. Heâd focused on not falling apart, for Sutton and their possible childâs sake. He didnât need to be a dead beat father like his had. He glanced at Sutton, unable to read the emotions on her face before he looked back down at his hands that were clasped on his lap. Rileyâs body was hunched forward, like he could protect himself from whatever news was coming their way.
Heâd agreed to go, and he wasnât exactly regretting it. New year, new him, right? Riley had vaguely remembered the party itself, where heâd drank away the rest of himself so he wouldnât have to deal with whatever 2017 brought him. âAs long as you donât run out the door, I wonât,â he answered, looking over at Sutton until the doctor called her last name out.Â
Riley sat wordlessly besides Sutton, reaching out to push some of her red hair out of her face and behind her ear. He wasnât sure where that had come from, and he pulled his hand back towards himself, only to have it intercepted by Suttonâs hand. He laced their fingers together, looking nervous for the first time in his life. Riley put a hand over his face, rubbing his jaw before he stared at the monitor. There wasnât any noise, no sound of a heartbeat, no little image of some walnut in Suttonâs stomach.Â
âIf there was a baby, itâs no longer there.â The nurse sounded wary, like the news might cause them pain or some other negative emotion.
âNo baby?â Riley repeated, the weight immediately rising off his chest. âSutts, no baby. Weâre not having a baby,â he laughed, turning to look at her so she would open her eyes. He let his hand rest on her cheek, âFalse alarm, girl scout. Weâre not going to be parents.â
Sutton heard the nurseâs words, but she couldnât process them. It was almost as if she were speaking another language. But when Riley spoke and she heard the relief in his voice, she let out a breath that she hadnât realized sheâd been holding. Tentatively, she opened one eye to peek at the monitor. It was true. There was no baby. She felt so stupid for the narrative sheâd created in her head, the images of her dropping the baby off at daycare and Riley picking him up, of her mother trying to convince her to get him into toddler modeling, of spending her weekends sitting through Little League baseball games. She hadnât wanted the diapers and strollers, but theyâd seemed inevitable. She sat up straight, her eyes wide as she double and triple checked the screen. There was no baby.Â
She felt Rileyâs hand on her cheek, and she dragged her eyes to his. âWeâre not gonna be parents,â she repeated, her smile wider than it had been since before this whole ordeal had started. The nurse handed her some paper towels before excusing herself and leaving the room, and Sutton wiped the gel off of her stomach before pulling her shirt down. âWeâre not having a baby,â she said stupidly, her eyes aglow.Â
She hopped down from the examination table and took both his hands in hers, buzzed on her happiness. âItâs a good thing,â she said, slipping back into their familiar banter, ââcause I donât need more than one bratty Henderson in my life.âÂ