Sam & Max Acid Tunnel Of Love

the grocery store should be open 24/7 but they should let the employees go home and just trust us

Sometimes I go "meow meow meow." Not today though because I'm full of darkness.

WTF this is masterful, 10/10.

Other people have said this in notes, but the Bulwer-Lytton contest involves writing the most absurd opener you can think of and submitting it to the contest. It's not a judgment like the Razzies or the bad sex in books award or something; it's a game. Diana Murtaugh of Baltimore is to be congratulated for this win.

we all know adult humans dont get enough enrichment but the other day i was walkin home past an empty playground and impulsively ran over to spin myself on this zipline merry-go-round contraption for a few minutes and it really did feel like it unlocked some neglected part of my brain. like damn we really should all go outside and play more. fuck. they werent kidding with this play time thing. have you guys heard about play time. it could be huge.

noticed my coworker was on tumblr so i told them “i like your shoelaces” and they said “never say that out loud to me”

this is the correct response btw

if they're gonna remake The Princess Bride, it should open with a kid sick in bed scrolling on his phone. his grandpa arrives with a gift--it's a DVD player with a disc already inside. grandpa hooks it up to the TV and presses play. and we all just watch the original 1987 film again.

There are some characters where giving them therapy and cleaning them up is the fanfiction equivalent of buying antique furniture and painting it white

Want one of your fishmongers to return? Just to go your MyMonger tab, click on "banished" in the dropdown menu, and select the gear icon to manage your shunned mongers.