Home of the tortilla chip

Your left pocket is your main inventory, but your right pocket is usually your quick select

A girl I liked convinced me to stab a man, so I did. Felt guilty for a bit, then promptly forgot about it and walked around with the murder weapon for a couple of hours, going about my business, walking my dog. Eventually I was cornered by a plainclothes police officer who asked me why I had a bloody knife; I told him I was looking after it for my bogan cousin. He said, “You’re under arrest,” and I was like,, “No, I’m not, watch this,” and then I woke up.

that’s a goddamned power move

always remember that love will always come back to u. in a different form, different person, different hobby, different touch. but in any way, love will always come back.

Me, trying to flirt

this is how i talk to people in the flesh verse

the comedy of him going “what do you bet its in my hand right now” while it rolls behind him cannot be done in any form of scripted media.