I am SuperOche..

Steps for Tackling Anxiety

by Rochelle Ostonal Now, I have decided talk about my anxiety, anxiety that made me feel as though I wasn’t like everyone else. It also went over board and affect my health, my heart condition. I even had me questioning my decisions on a daily basis. I am being honest to tell you that there wasn’t a day that I did not feel nervous or half crazy gal. I am afraid of little things, developed…

Kiddos,

Today I am celebrating not only for you but for me as well. This is the day you were born, the day you came into this world destined to be my friends. Today as we celebrate your birthdays, I would like to also celebrate and be thankful for another year of our friendship. Today as well I realized that I never tell you enough how much I appreciate you being in my life. As my friends since day 1 in college up to now and for not letting a little distance, busy heydays, works, love life, or other time consuming issues  eat away the ties that bind us.

Life, sometimes it pulls the rug from under our feet. Suddenly, we find ourselves broken and unable to get back up. When I thought all hope had gone, you guys together with others were always there to sweep me off of my feet, dust me down and tell me everything is going to be okay. When everyone else had left the room, you were the only one still cheering and giving me that little piece of hope to carry on.

Thank you for being a true friend. For sticking by me, for letting me sob into your shoulder, for allowing me to play that same old tiresome record you’ve heard a trillion times before. Yung mga kwentong walang kasawaan. Thank you for letting me pour my heart out, for listening and for not just telling me what I want to hear. Thank you for staying constant in a world full of change and chaos. One of my anchors to keep me grounded when life has a tendency to blows us away.

It’s hard to put it into words just how much you guys mean to me, because words will never be enough.We have walked so far, laughed so hard, and cried a sea of tears together. We have climbed each other’s highest peaks, and traveled through the darkest of valleys.

Rachel, remember the day when I was completely out of my self because of my ex? When I was crazy waited  for him to arrive in the middle of the rain at the park when I knew he will never show up. I cried a river and very much in pain. We were so young back then but you stayed and calmed me down as if you are my older sister. Remember the time for our first fight because of my addiction to friendster and skipped our classes just to design my account with overly glittery things? We fought because you wanted me to realized that classes is more important than friendster (thank God facebook replaced it na).  I also regret exchanging those harsh words with you back in 2010 but it made up my mind that its better to hear the truth from your friend than anyone out there. It hurts! but you feel the concern. There are so many details I wanted to share but I think it would take me forever to write it down here. I just want to say thank you for all the things we’ve shared and we’ve been through. Thank you for being my companion, my telepathic pal, my gossip girl, and so much more. I love you to the moon and back.

Mark, you are the sweetest among the others and very maarte as well. Thank you for taking many of my pictures and letting it came out really beautiful. I know you enough, so maarte, and very sensitive but very loving person. And because kilala na kita and I am your friend  I understand your stand and whatever your decisions. As long as I see your BIG EYES HAPPY AND WIDE SMILE ON YOUR CRAZY FACE I have nothing but to wish you well.  I truly believe I hit friendship gold when you skipped into my life and filled my days with laughter. Tumingin lang ako sayo natatawa na ako. :) ang cute mo kase. But seriously, I hope you will realize that whatever understandings right now or in the future we might have, if that time will come that we a bit lose ourselves we only need to look back at those memories together and everything will going to be ok. HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY!

With you guys the sun shines a little bit brighter, my smile grows a little bit wider, and in that moment, my problems are no more. And no matter how much distance is between us, no matter how many days, weeks and months we haven’t spoken to each other, we ALWAYS pick up where we left.

My beautiful friend, what more can I say? In 50 years from now, I hope I will still be cushioned under your enchanted wings. I have no doubt that you will still be the person who could turn my every frown into a smile, the person who lifts me up when I am losing faith and the person who carries my tears on her shoulders. I’m pretty sure that we will still be busting out those same old stories, gossips and nothings in life.

When heart becomes green, when the rain never pours forever and the candles cost more than the cake, I promise we will still be the best of friends! Hope this letter comes from deep within my heart bring smile to your faces. I love you both and I have planned on loving you forever. AGAIN, HAPPY BIRTHDAY and may your hearts desires and wishes will come true.

Thank you for all the glorious memories, wrapped up in a bow of nostalgia, so beautiful it brings a tear to my eye.

xoxo

Oche

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“I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.” -Mitch Albom

Dear Nanay,

I cannot even begin to express my feelings as I start to type this letter but I want to start by telling you how much I love you. I know I don’t always show it and I know I’m not really around these days and honestly I don’t even say it that often, but I do. You are the most important woman in my life, and you always will be. You are my best friend, my best critic and a Mother. Ever since I was little you have been my hero and someone I’ve always looked up to. I know life is hard for you, for making it extra hard for you and I don’t always do much to make it easier, but you have sacrificed so much in your life just to raise me, and it means more to me than I’ll ever be able to express in words in this letter. You are the strongest person I know, full of love and motivation, and I am incredibly blessed to have had the opportunity to have that all of my life. So, Nanay, I love you so much, to the ends of the Earth and until the day I’m no longer walking on it.

I also want to tell you, thank you. Two words that means so little when comparing them to every big and little things that you do for me. Just a little growing up, ME about 5-9 years old. I always have the flashbacks of my days when I was just a little but wanting to grow faster, taller and help you out to everything you do. You let me to help you out on your laundries when in fact I was just playing and making bubbles. I always begged you to let me help you to wash the dishes kahit walang pagkakataon na hindi ako nakabasag. Cried over insisting to cook and placed me on top of chair for me to reach the Kawali when in fact you already finished it and just let me only sprinkle something. You fooled me Mother! hehe But thank you for guiding me all the way and telling me not to be in a hurry to grow, just play and take things slow. You kept your promise that you will always be by my side in every journey of my life.  Now, I am tired of doing those things that was once my childish reason of wanting to grow faster hehe.

When I had to transfer school and meet new friends when I was on my kindergarten. I cried a river over my red uniform because all my new classmates wearing white blouse and blue skirt. I wanted you to stay outside near the window of my classroom where my eyes can easily reach you. You totally knew how burden I was that time for the BIG change I have to accept. But thank you because you stood up there until I got used to the new environment and no longer need you outside the window. Thank you because you saved my life from the smashed of a broken wooden window (dahil sa super lakas ng bagyo at tayo lang naiwan sa bahay noon). I clearly saw how the wooden piece smashed your back and fallen iron sheets hit your arms just to protect me. Now it hurts me a lot remembering the pain you must be feeling that time.

Thank you for that time you let me cry on your shoulder when I was so disappointed and didn’t make it to starstruck audition hahaha (big secret to!).  Thank you for letting me sleep  on your lap when we were on travel just not to make me throw up. Thank you for working ungodly hours just to buy me that shoes with marching six-pocket pants that I really wanted for Christmas. Thank you for teaching me how to read (a whole book a day) reading it loud from our stairs for you to hear while you were cooking at the kitchen. Thank you for being the first person who talked to me when I first have my period on. Thank you for the laughter, the smiles, the lessons, and reminding me that I’ll always have somebody who loves me for who I am, flaws and all. You have shown me that it is okay to make mistakes, it’s okay to cry, and it’s okay to be who I am. Now I realized we were that close and been through a lot together. Nanay, don’t you know what you gave me is your body, whole heart and soul? Thank you.

Lastly mom, I want to tell you how Sorry I am. Sorry for giving you a lot of hardships starting from when you were pregnant on me. Giving you hard times when you have your morning sickness and for ruining your sexy figure because I am your BIG FAT BELLY. Giving you incomparable pain when you  were giving birth on me. All the sleepless nights and kaba because I am weak and sick baby for your first time being a Mother. But gone through all of that, you caressed me, kissed me, and you made gigil on me when I was a baby. How awesome was that?? After all the pain and hardship I’ve caused you..you always smile at me and making me your world. I’m sorry for all of the times I fought with you, it could’ve been a curfew, a boy I liked whom they disapproved of, or a skirt that was an inch too short. I’m sure they were all very shallow and pointless, now that I think of it in retrospect. For the times I’ve let you down, and for the times I chose friends and other things over you. Sometimes I tend to lose sight of the things that are most important to me. You truly mean so much to me and I don’t express it enough, and I certainly don’t prove it like now I old enough…leave you doing the dishes to go out to some friends or watching teleserye. A lot of the time, especially lately, you deserve someone who pays more attention to the things that you do. I hope that by the time I’m older you can someday forgive me for the things I disappoint you the most. I am sorry Nanay but I know you know I didn’t mean all of that.

I would like to also remind you that you are a Mother that is not failing. You sacrificed more than enough especially for Wilson. You have loved us five (Me, Wilson, Jimwell, JayJay and Tatay) unconditionally. For all what you did, you never failing. We love you.

All in all, I love you to death Nanay. You are my entire world, whether you know that or not. Thank you for being everything to me, always.

Love,

Ucng