danny devito voice "trash"

kicking my feet and giggling like a schoolgirl in love to myself while muttering "i'm going to kill you. i'm going to fucking kill you"

tell your cat i said what up big gangsta

put those awesome boobs away dude now isn't the time

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

Im certain that if i was small and my cat was big he'd pick me up all the time and put me in his lap too

i love playing barbies and imagination with the friends in my computer...............

fine i'll do it myself. make me the gaffer. i'll light the damn shows

There was really no winning that one

I’m slowly beginning to accept the reality that 2007 was not last year but in fact almost four years ago

Show daddy that nice picture again