Noah Puckerman

and I think I need to go back home. I tried fitting back in, but things are too weird. Not having a power and being here doesn't make sense. Plus, I need to go back home and raise Beth. She's the most important thing in my life. Thanks for all the good memories, even if I can't remember them.

I'm sending this in a letter and sliping it under your door because it's too long to text and I'm pretty sure you dont wanna talk to me anmyore (I don't blame you either, I wouldn't want to talk to me either). I just wanteed to tell you a couple things.  One, I jsut got back from the tatoo place, and I had them fill in your name.  It was hard to do because...well honetsly, I still love you, but I know that were over.  I know now why you broke up with me and why the love bewteen is has been ruined.  I know why you don't love me anymore, I do.  So I filled it in because I guess I've acceptted that I've ruined any chance we ever had of getting back together, even if it was already pretty small. So now I just have an anchor (though I might cover it with something else at some point, idk yet...and yeah, you don't care about my tattoo plans, so nevermind.  I wish I hadn't written this in pen now).

Anyway, the second thing is that I wanted to say tht I'm sorry for what I said to Jake.  I swear at the time that I wasn't trying to meddle or anything or mess things up between you and him.  I just...it was nice to talk to someone about things since I think all my other friends are tired of hearing about it and I should be able to get over it by now anyway, but I know that it should not have been your brother who I talked to.  That was wrong of me, and I get why you're angry and will always be angry with me.  I promise not to do anything like that again, you have my word, if it means anything (probalby doesn't anymore...ugh, why did I write this in pen?)

And just one last thing:  I want you to know that I really loved you and our relationship (and still love you, like I said), and you helped me a lot. You helped me get through my parent being afraid of me and missing my siblings, you helped me get through those guys bullyiing me, you helped me get through my PTSD, hell, you even took a bullet for me.  You saved my life in a lot of wasy.  I don't know how much of that you remember, but you did it all and so much more.  I'll always be grateful to you for everything that you've done.

I'll really miss you, Puck.  You weren't just the man I loved, you were my best friend, and I don't know what I'm going to do without you, but I know that I'm going to have to get by.  I ruined even the chance of being friends, and again, I'm really really sorry.  You always made me feel not stupid, but now I think that's not true.  I've been such an idiot and am not as smart as you made me feel, and now I know tht.  I'm so sorry for everything.  I hope that yuo'll always be happy, Puck, and I hope that you find someone to love you and take care of you.  And I just one to say one last night:  oel ngati kameie (that's Na'vi for "I love you" in case you don't remember).

Love forever,